Best old school put-downs or put-ups you've heard

Sleepy · 23-08-2011 02:08PM

A face like a box of burnt lego.

CiaranMT · 23-08-2011 02:11PM

Longback Battlewarrior.

To this day I'm not sure if it was a negative or positive.

im a believer · 23-08-2011 02:20PM

girl was getting out of the bath while heavily pregnant, boyfriend looks over his shoulder an says " f**k back to the loch nessey "

im a believer · 23-08-2011 02:21PM

you have a face that wore out two bodies

Storminateacup · 23-08-2011 02:22PM

"shut up, you miserable little bollocks. I wish I could pull your ears off and stick them to your butt just so you could hear me kick your ass"

GalwayKiefer · 23-08-2011 02:29PM

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit her face off every branch on the way down.

IrishBrian · 23-08-2011 10:38PM

She looks like someone set fire to her face and put it out with a shovel

Ghandee · 23-08-2011 11:28PM

Sure she's a head on er like my arse wid a nose on it!

Jess16 · 23-08-2011 11:53PM

Can't believe Im actually typing this but for purposes of entertainment..

-the best part of you dribbled down your ma's chin

Mitch Buchannon · 23-08-2011 11:54PM

She had a fanny like a badly stuffed kabab

--Kaiser-- · 24-08-2011 09:38AM

I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals

stovelid · 24-08-2011 09:47AM

She'd put a horn on a snowman.

My Da used to say "he could peel an orange in his pocket with one hand"" for mean people.

Fozzydog3 · 24-08-2011 09:52AM

Shes so ugly she needs prescription make up

Zer0 · 25-08-2011 02:47AM

My dad and brother used to always have me in stitches with the stuff they came out with, I'm sure they heard them off someone else, but still...

Whilst making fun of someone’s mother:
"Your aulones t!ts are so big they could feed the entire maternity unit in the Coombe"

On describing someone’s stupidity:
"Your aulone must've closed her legs when you were coming out!"

If someone tells you an awful joke:
"You wouldn't even read that on the pack of a penguin bar!"

Describing someone who is up themselves:
"You'd want a glass stomach so you could see where you're walking"

Often good use against a stupid, well to do individual:
"You're just like cream, rich and thick...”

When describing someone as a fool:
"A few million sperm and you were the best one?"

Gingervitis · 25-08-2011 04:31AM

"She's got flaps like a butcher's bin."

"Des Kelly wouldn't lay her"

2 girls in a nightclub, say to the ugly one: "Do you like to dance?" When her eyes light up, tell her, "Good, fcuk off so I can talk to your mate."

backinexile · 25-08-2011 08:47AM

"jaysus love Larry Murphy wouldn't take you to the woods"

Eroticfishcake · 25-08-2011 09:11AM

make a spa face with your tongue still inside your mouth but its protruding out your chin 'nah snared rapid'...proper old skool but surprisingly harder to describe than I thought

Cee-Jay-Cee · 25-08-2011 09:22AM

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

And my own creation about stupid people:

He was a special child. He went to school on a special bus but he missed it most days...and was hit by it on most other days.