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Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

so...There I am, about to get in the shower...

245

Comments

  • #32
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    "I swear garda, I didn't kidnap her. Sure look I even posted a thread about it on boards.ie".

    Sneakiest alibi ever....


  • #33
    buck65
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭buck65


    I dropped a colleague to his house one day, he ran in the door saw a painter in the front room with sheets all over the furniture. Roared and shouted at him "get the **** out" "who sent you" etc.
    Lady appears in front room wondering what the ruckus was, guy realised he was in the house next door.


  • #34
    redfacedbear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 891 ✭✭✭redfacedbear


    Dove is for girls - serves you right


  • #35
    Helium
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 399 ✭✭Helium


    Well what was the outcome... did ye have a good laugh about it over a coffee and ribena after ???


  • #36
    the purple tin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    A good deal of robberies happen in the daytime when houses are occupied.
    Lock your door in future op.


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  • #37
    Chips Ahoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 225 ✭✭Chips Ahoy


    funny thing is if the police walked in you would be the one arrested


  • #38
    derfderf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,588 ✭✭✭derfderf


    I suppose it was the kid that put the starburst on your fishing hook too?


  • #39
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    If this was America, the girl would arrrested for burglary, tried as an adult for sexual deviancy & then sued for $50 million for 'emotional distress'.

    The girl would be added to the sex offenders register, not allowed within 2 miles of a school and would have to live under a bridge.
    You would get 8000 years in prison.

    Of course, this is Ireland. So the girl will get counselling for sexual abuse & €10,000 compensation. You'll get a 2 year prison sentence, will be released after 3 weeks for good behaviour.


  • #40
    tallaghtmick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,724 ✭✭✭tallaghtmick


    abouttobebanned wrote: »
    My child is 17 weeks old and was out with her mammy.

    Apparently she's been just letting herself into people's houses all over the neighbourhood. all the doors here are either locked by key or can be easily opened by the handle.

    You dont live in tallaght thats for sure.


  • #41
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,838 ✭✭✭phill106


    Maybe she mistook the dove for a swan?


    *gets coat*


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  • #42
    Eric Cartman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,242 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    Dear Diary.....Jackpot


  • #43
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    There is a lesson here for us all.

    Real men don't use shower gel - they wait until it's raining and then stand naked in the garden brandishing their fists at the sky.


  • #44
    cocoshovel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,036 ✭✭✭cocoshovel


    The kid probably mistook your house for her own one. If you live side by side that is.

    Should have done the helicopter and chased her out :pac:


  • #45
    Jess16
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,176 ✭✭✭Jess16


    Polish huh -did the stealthy 3 year old share this information with the strange man or was she carrying a flag?


  • #46
    abouttobebanned
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    Jess16 wrote: »
    Polish huh -did the stealthy 3 year old share this information with the strange man or was she carrying a flag?

    Strange thing actually...she has parents. And...weird this one...they have spoken to other people in the area.


  • #47
    stephen_k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 449 ✭✭stephen_k


    Dont worry OP, I'm sure she knows about shrinkage.......


  • #48
    tallaghtmick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,724 ✭✭✭tallaghtmick


    abouttobebanned wrote: »
    Strange thing actually...she has parents. And...weird this one...they have spoken to other people in the area.

    Hate to be you when some drago lookalike comes knocking:D


  • #49
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Now that's what I call a sticky situation


  • #50
    Paarse Krokodil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭Paarse Krokodil


    If that happens nowadays you'd better wipe all your hard drives, flash memory and burn any cd & dvd you have laying around just in case.

    Its a torment but such is life in modern day paedophile obsessed Ireland, better safe than sorry, and so on.


  • #51
    Alopex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Alopex


    how did you resolve the situation?


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  • #52
    Dionysus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,420 ✭✭✭Dionysus


    Willbbz wrote: »
    Finders keepers OP

    Yuck! (but admittedly funny)


  • #53
    abouttobebanned
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    Alopex wrote: »
    how did you resolve the situation?

    I ran back into the shower and hoped that she found her own way out of the house.


  • #54
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    Weirdo.


  • #55
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    Paarse Krokodil wrote: »
    If that happens nowadays you'd better wipe all your hard drives, flash memory and burn any cd & dvd you have laying around just in case.

    Its a torment but such is life in modern day paedophile obsessed Ireland, better safe than sorry, and so on.

    Peadophile obsessed my ass !!! The country is crawling with them and they are still in positions of power here.


  • #56
    Geekness1234
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Geekness1234


    Child services will be as shocked as you were OP.


  • #57
    I Heart Internet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,678 ✭✭✭I Heart Internet


    So how dis this play itself out? You close door and scream at her to gtfo? She turn and run? Did you speak to her parents afterwards about it? Bizarre.

    I live in the country but lived most of my life in the city so always lock my front door when heading to the jacks/shower or, say if the OH went out early and I was still in bed - I'd have to get her to lock the door in case someone came in a stole me away!!


  • #58
    stevejr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,042 ✭✭✭stevejr


    charlemont wrote: »
    Peadophile obsessed my ass !!!


    You probably could have phrased that better...

    What's the reason for being reasonable?

    Is that an unreasonable question?



  • #59
    BBDBB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    abouttobebanned wrote: »
    ...When I remember that nice new Dove shower gel that I bought...

    House is empty, so no problems just turning on my heels and heading to the other bathroom to get the shower gel.

    Opens bedroom...

    And standing there is a 3 year old girl. Cue mutual screams.

    I don't have a 3 year old girl by the way...she just decided to leave herself into my house, walk up the stairs and stand outside my bedroom.

    Parents....do you know where your kids are? Cause you know...they could be perving on innocent grown men.

    (The child was Polish, this probably makes no difference, but who knows...it could be a polish passage of rite...)


    and so rests the case for the Defence M'lud


  • #60
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Seanbeag1 wrote: »
    Now that's what I call a sticky situation

    I certainly hope not...


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  • #61
    Reamer Fanny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,828 ✭✭✭Reamer Fanny


    abouttobebanned wrote: »
    ...When I remember that nice new Dove shower gel that I bought...

    House is empty, so no problems just turning on my heels and heading to the other bathroom to get the shower gel.

    Opens bedroom...

    And standing there is a 3 year old girl. Cue mutual screams.

    I don't have a 3 year old girl by the way...she just decided to leave herself into my house, walk up the stairs and stand outside my bedroom.

    Parents....do you know where your kids are? Cause you know...they could be perving on innocent grown men.

    (The child was Polish, this probably makes no difference, but who knows...it could be a polish passage of rite...)


    3 year old girl or master thief? She could have cleaned you out if you didn't go looking for shower gel


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