so...There I am, about to get in the shower...

abouttobebanned

...When I remember that nice new Dove shower gel that I bought...

House is empty, so no problems just turning on my heels and heading to the other bathroom to get the shower gel.

Opens bedroom...

And standing there is a 3 year old girl. Cue mutual screams.

I don't have a 3 year old girl by the way...she just decided to leave herself into my house, walk up the stairs and stand outside my bedroom.

Parents....do you know where your kids are? Cause you know...they could be perving on innocent grown men.

(The child was Polish, this probably makes no difference, but who knows...it could be a polish passage of rite...)

smash

WTF? how did she get into your house?

Did you have a sign outside saying "free candy" and the front door open?

sunflower27

Are you sure she's not yours? Maybe the mum left her back.

MrStuffins

You really should post here as much as you can over the next few days because I have a feeling the police are gonna be taking your computer at some time this week!

dastardly00

why is your shower gel in another bathroom??

abouttobebanned

My child is 17 weeks old and was out with her mammy.

Apparently she's been just letting herself into people's houses all over the neighbourhood. all the doors here are either locked by key or can be easily opened by the handle.

abouttobebanned

dastardly00 wrote: »

why is your shower gel in another bathroom??

Good question. I had bought it on the groceries and herself brought it upstairs with all the other toiletries. I was showering in the en suite.

NEXT!

Rothmans

Hmm, imagine if the someone then walked in, after hearingthe screams. Three y/o girl and naked man in the hallway.
It wouldn't look too good op.

Mr.David

dastardly00 wrote: »

why is your shower gel in another bathroom??

Is that really what first struck you as odd from the OPs story?!

Willbbz

Finders keepers OP

mikemac

She's probably going to go home and twist this story against you OP

Saying you undressed in front of her or something

Gardaí will be around shortly for a chat;)

cosmicfart

id be like screaming, WTF are u doing in my shower, get the fook outta my house before I call the Priests

Kylo Ren

Pics or....Na actually it's ok.

abouttobebanned

mikemac wrote: »

She's probably going to go home and twist this story against you OP

Saying you undressed in front of her or something

Gardaí will be around shortly for a chat

Hence...this thread.

I'll also have all the other neighbours to back me up about how she just lets herself in and wanders around.

Just eh, unfortunate timing this time.

Right4Deadly

JESUS!! If i were you i would of screamed and run away and probably if you found out who the mum of that little polish girl then give out **** to the mother for her own daughter tresspassing in your house!

sunflower27

This thread may be used as evidence

Burky126

abouttobeincarcerated

theteal

Is this thread supposed to be an alibi of some sort????











Fritzel's still out of the equation, right?

SEPT 23 1989

I would start packing now OP

Asphyxia

:eek: I would have died! I probably would have thought it was a ghost at first haha!

blaze1

I thought we had it bad with the kid over the road stalking my youngun looking through the letter box and peering in through open windows!

Sounds fucked up tho op....

falan

Where do you live OP? I'll just get me swag bag ready. Easy pickings;)

mikemac

Once the other prisoners hear about your conviction involving this young child, oh you're in for a hammering OP :eek:

They don't like your type in prison

dastardly00

Mr.David wrote: »

Is that really what first struck you as odd from the OPs story?!

yes.....








no!!

Markyy

The real question is, did you blast her with piss?

KTRIC

Markyy wrote: »

The real question is, did you blast her with piss?

Man, take a look around,

see that, its the line you just crossed :rolleyes:

dirtypanties

I wandered into a house when I was around 3-My mother was doing her nut looking for me-When she finally found the house I was in there I was drinking their milk and eating their biscuits with our 3 dogs who had followed me...

These were the days when everyone left their doors open and long before mobile phones etc so it was a good job I didn't get too far.:)

Kojak

abouttobebanned wrote: »

My child is 17 weeks old and was out with her mammy.

Maybe she had a growth spurt - kids grow up soo fast these days...

MungBean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYqpi2tNAC0

Air_Bass

...There'll be no Dove shower gel where you'll be showering for the next few years ! :eek:
Joking - If you have witnesses to this little burglar's activities you'll be alright (hopefully).

SteelyDanJalapeno

abouttobearrested

TheZohanS

"I swear garda, I didn't kidnap her. Sure look I even posted a thread about it on boards.ie".

Sneakiest alibi ever....

buck65

I dropped a colleague to his house one day, he ran in the door saw a painter in the front room with sheets all over the furniture. Roared and shouted at him "get the **** out" "who sent you" etc.
Lady appears in front room wondering what the ruckus was, guy realised he was in the house next door.

redfacedbear

Dove is for girls - serves you right

Helium

Well what was the outcome... did ye have a good laugh about it over a coffee and ribena after ???

the purple tin

A good deal of robberies happen in the daytime when houses are occupied.
Lock your door in future op.

Chips Ahoy

funny thing is if the police walked in you would be the one arrested

derfderf

I suppose it was the kid that put the starburst on your fishing hook too?

CrazyRabbit

If this was America, the girl would arrrested for burglary, tried as an adult for sexual deviancy & then sued for $50 million for 'emotional distress'.

The girl would be added to the sex offenders register, not allowed within 2 miles of a school and would have to live under a bridge.
You would get 8000 years in prison.

Of course, this is Ireland. So the girl will get counselling for sexual abuse & €10,000 compensation. You'll get a 2 year prison sentence, will be released after 3 weeks for good behaviour.

tallaghtmick

abouttobebanned wrote: »

My child is 17 weeks old and was out with her mammy.

Apparently she's been just letting herself into people's houses all over the neighbourhood. all the doors here are either locked by key or can be easily opened by the handle.

You dont live in tallaght thats for sure.

phill106

Maybe she mistook the dove for a swan?


*gets coat*

Eric Cartman

Dear Diary.....Jackpot

Frank Black

There is a lesson here for us all.

Real men don't use shower gel - they wait until it's raining and then stand naked in the garden brandishing their fists at the sky.

cocoshovel

The kid probably mistook your house for her own one. If you live side by side that is.

Should have done the helicopter and chased her out :pac:

Jess16

Polish huh -did the stealthy 3 year old share this information with the strange man or was she carrying a flag?

abouttobebanned

Jess16 wrote: »

Polish huh -did the stealthy 3 year old share this information with the strange man or was she carrying a flag?

Strange thing actually...she has parents. And...weird this one...they have spoken to other people in the area.

stephen_k

Dont worry OP, I'm sure she knows about shrinkage.......

tallaghtmick

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Strange thing actually...she has parents. And...weird this one...they have spoken to other people in the area.

Hate to be you when some drago lookalike comes knocking:D

MagicSean

Now that's what I call a sticky situation

Paarse Krokodil

If that happens nowadays you'd better wipe all your hard drives, flash memory and burn any cd & dvd you have laying around just in case.

Its a torment but such is life in modern day paedophile obsessed Ireland, better safe than sorry, and so on.

Alopex

how did you resolve the situation?