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Reading about Jesus on wikipedia

2

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Tigger wrote: »
    Jewish is a religion woody Allen is a Jew
    Semite is the race
    Jewish / semitic / whatever, you know what I meant! :p
    Tigger wrote: »
    Jesus is depicted in all pics I've seen on wiki and mOst other places as a caucasion on north euro descent ...
    Presumably because most of the pictures you've seen originate from Northern Europe, and because most of the larger Christian churches are or were centred there.

    I've seen depictions of Jesus as a black man in Africa, and Japanese and Balinese "local" depictions of Jesus as Japanese / Balinese.

    Actually, a few from the web in similar vein ...
    Link
    Link 2
    Link 3

    Most cultures have seemed to localise him, and depict him as one of their own.
    Tigger wrote: »
    Joshua isn't Hebrew for Jesus there is a Joshua in the bible he was also Jewish it's in the book of Joshua
    It isn't quite as simple as Joshua being the Hebrew for Jesus, but they're essentially the same name.

    Remember that the gospels, unlike the old testament, were probably written in Greek, or at least the earliest versions known were in Greek.

    From the article:

    “Jesus” is a transliteration, occurring in a number of languages and based on the Latin Iesus, of the Greek Ἰησοῦς (Iēsoûs), itself a Hellenisation of the Hebrew יְהוֹשֻׁעַ (Yĕhōšuă‘, Joshua) or Hebrew-Aramaic יֵשׁוּעַ (Yēšûă‘).meaning "Yahweh delivers (or rescues)"
    mikemac wrote: »
    Next thing you'll be telling me that Jesus was black
    No, but he's often depicted as such in Africa ... :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    marco_polo wrote: »
    Well historically he is depicted as looking suspiciously like one of the blokes out of ABBA :p

    Nah - they looked like him.
    Tigger wrote: »
    Look at the pictures he's blatantly scandanavian

    Yeah... now you come to think of it, the short blonde hair and pale skin ... :eek:

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 196 ✭✭fiinch


    to be fair if i met David Blaine two thousand years ago i'd have thought he was a god too. what do you mean he just stands on his toes to levitate? I KNOW WHAT I SAW


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Tehachapi


    mikemac wrote: »
    John 3:7

    UP TIPP

    They'll need some sort of divine intervention to win the AI if they play like they did on sunday.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    I believe the man himself existed and he was obviously a powerful figure in his time to have people form a religion based on him but I don't believe he was son of god or his mother was a virgin, I know of several people who's life's have been improved by praying to Jesus but I reckon its the power of the belief in prayer that is work in those situations.

    Jesus rocks !!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    fiinch wrote: »
    to be fair if i met David Blaine two thousand years ago i'd have thought he was a god too. what do you mean he just stands on his toes to levitate? I KNOW WHAT I SAW

    You didn't see anything...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Tehachapi


    wikipedia wrote:
    Christians traditionally believe that Jesus was born of a virgin,[10]:529–32 performed miracles,[10]:358–59 founded the Church, rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven,[10]:616–20 from which he will return

    What a steaming pile of sh1te.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Tehachapi wrote: »
    What a steaming pile of sh1te.

    I'm pretty sure that IS what most of them believe.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Tehachapi


    Ikky Poo2 wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure that IS what most of them believe.

    I know, I meant the beliefs themselves are rubbish.

    "Born of a virgin"? Rofl. There are some species who can conceive without sexual intercourse like fish, etc but humans? Not a chance.

    Resurrection from the dead? He either wasn't really dead or that's rubbish aswell. They should probably look up the definition of "death".

    Ah here, why do I bother. Anyone who genuinely believes that stuff has something seriously wrong with them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Turpentine


    I don't know how I stumbled across the wikipedia page on Jesus

    The lord works in mysterious ways.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 360 ✭✭greenmachine88


    Tehachapi wrote: »
    I know, I meant the beliefs themselves are rubbish.

    "Born of a virgin"? Rofl. There are some species who can conceive without sexual intercourse like fish, etc but humans? Not a chance.

    Resurrection from the dead? He either wasn't really dead or that's rubbish aswell. They should probably look up the definition of "death".

    Ah here, why do I bother. Anyone who genuinely believes that stuff has something seriously wrong with them.

    Not at all crazy, anything is possible in this old universe of ours, this could have happened.

    It's like we never really take the time to think about the significance of these things, Jesus said some really epic things that are still used today!

    And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Turpentine


    Turpentine wrote: »
    The lord works in mysterious ways.

    By that I mean he probably manipulated the google spiders when you were searching for "cheap home-brewing techniques".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,125 ✭✭✭Killer Pigeon


    If Jesus existed (and their is a chance that he did) he would have been a bisexual stoner.

    Firstly, he wasn't married in his 30's and that was very unusual for a man at that time. He had 12 male companions, many of whom were not married either. He most likely had sexual relations with some of the apostles, especially St. Peter. He also may have had sexual relations with Mary Magdalene, if not Mary Magdalene was probably a fag-hag.

    Secondly, Jesus was a stereotypical stoner. He had an unhealthy addiction to wine and who knows what else. He went about all day preaching about love, fairies in the sky, performing magic tricks and expressing his hate of the establishment. He was like every stoner hippy that ever existed combined.

    If alive today Jesus would be one of those stoners who work in headshops or rundown back-ally record stores (the kind you're likely to find in Temple Bar). He'd be one of those guy who smoke some weed during his lunch break out back and take LSD at night. He'd wear long dread locks and a long fuzzy beard. He'd be such an anarchist too, so much so that he'd refuse to join any anarchist movement, like the WSM, because there are too "establishment". In his spare time, he would be a street performer; performing some magic tricks, juggling burning torches and breathing fire.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 278 ✭✭leposean


    I recently found jesus...he was hiding behind the sofa :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,406 ✭✭✭Pompey Magnus


    Personally I prefer Jesus the son of Ananias, he seemed a harmless auld sod and didn't go around inventing nasty stories about hellfire unlike his better known namesake.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 360 ✭✭greenmachine88


    This is a cool story!
    What follows is a letter written by a young Marine to his mother while he was hospitalized after being wounded on a Korean battlefield in 1950. It came into the hands of a Navy Chaplain who read the letter before 5,000 Marines at a San Diego Naval Base in 1951.


    Dear Mom,

    I wouldn't dare write this letter to anyone but you because no one else would believe it. Maybe even you will find it hard, but I have to tell somebody.

    First off, I am in a hospital. Now don't worry, you hear me, don't worry. I was wounded but I'm okay. The doctor says that I will be up and around in a month. But that is not what I want to tell you.

    Remember when I joined the Marines last year; remember when I left, how you told me to say a prayer to St. Michael every day. You really didn't have to tell me that. Ever since I can remember you always told me to pray to St. Michael the Archangel. You even named me after him. Well I have always prayed to St. Michael. When I got to Korea, I prayed even harder. Remember the prayer that you taught me? "Michael, Michael of the morning, fresh corps of Heaven adorning…" You know the rest of it. Well, I said it every day, sometimes when I was marching or sometimes resting, but always before I went to sleep. I even got some of the other fellas to say it.

    Well, one day I was with an advance detail way up over the front lines. We were scouting for the commies. I was plodding along in the bitter cold; my breath was like cigar smoke. I thought I knew every guy in the patrol, when along side of me comes another Marine I never met before. He was bigger than any other Marine I'd ever seen. He must have been over 6 feet 4 inches and built in proportion. It gave me a feeling of security to have such a body near me.

    Anyway, there we were trudging along. The rest of the patrol spread out. Just to start a conversation I said, "Cold ain't it." And then I laughed. Here I was with a good chance of getting killed any minute and I am talking about the weather!

    My companion seemed to understand. I heard him laugh softly.

    I looked at him, "I've never seen you before. I thought I knew every man in the outfit."

    "I just joined at the last minute," he replied, "the name is Michael."

    "Is that so," I said surprised, "that's my name too."

    "I know," he said, and then went on saying the prayer, "Michael, Michael of the morning..."

    I was too amazed to say anything for a minute. How did he know my name, and a prayer that you had taught me? Then I smiled to myself, every guy in the outfit knew about me. Hadn't I taught the prayer to anybody who would listen? Why now and then, they even referred to me as St. Michael.

    Neither of us spoke for a time, and then he broke the silence.

    "We're going to have some trouble up ahead." He must have been in fine physical shape for he was breathing so lightly I couldn't see his breath. Mine poured out in great clouds. There was no smile on his face now. Trouble ahead, I thought to myself; well with the commies all around us, that's no great revelation.

    Snow began to fall in thick great globs. In a brief moment the whole countryside was blotted out, and I was marching in a white fog of wet sticky particles. My companion disappeared.

    "Michael!" I shouted in sudden alarm. I felt his hand on my arm, his voice was rich and strong, "This will stop shortly."

    His prophecy proved to be correct. In a few minutes the snow stopped as abruptly as it had begun. The sun was a hard shining disc. I looked back for the rest of the patrol. There was no one in sight. We lost them in the heavy fall of snow. I looked ahead as we came over a little rise. Mom, my heart stopped. There were seven of them, seven commies in their padded pants and jackets and their funny hats. Only there wasn’t anything funny about them now. Seven rifles were aimed at us.

    "Down Michael!" I screamed, and hit the frozen earth. I heard those rifles fire almost as one. I heard the bullets. There was Michael still standing.

    Mom, those guys couldn't have missed, not at that range. I expected to see him literally blown to bits, but there he stood, making no effort to fire himself. He was paralyzed with fear. It happens sometimes, Mom, even to the bravest. He was like a bird fascinated by a snake. At least that's what I thought then. I jumped up to pull him down and that was when I got mine. I felt a sudden flame in my chest. I often wondered what it felt like to be hit. Now I know.

    I remember feeling strong arms about me, arms that laid me ever so gently on a pillow of snow. I opened my eyes, for one last look. I thought I was dying. Maybe I was even dead. I remember thinking, “Well, this is not so bad.”

    Maybe I was looking into the sun. Maybe I was in shock, but it seemed I saw Michael standing erect again, only this time his face was shining with a terrible splendor.

    As I say, maybe it was the sun in my eyes, but he seemed to change as I watched him. He grew bigger, his arms stretched out wide, maybe it was the snow falling again but there was a brightness around him like the wings of an angel. In his hand was a sword. A sword that flashed with a million lights.

    Well, that's the last thing I remember until the rest of the fellas came up and found me; I don't know how much time had passed. Now and then I had but a moment's rest from the pain and fever. I remember telling them of the enemy just ahead.

    "Where's Michael?" I asked. I saw them look at one another. "Where's who?" asked one.

    "Michael, that big Marine I was walking with just before the snow squall hit us."

    "Kid," said the sergeant, "you weren't walking with anyone. I had my eyes on you the whole time. You were getting too far out. I was just going to call you in, when you disappeared in the snow."

    He looked at me, curiously. "How did you do it, kid?"

    "How did I do what?" I asked half angry, despite my wound. "This Marine named Michael and I were just..." "Son," said the sergeant kindly, "I picked this outfit myself and there just ain't another Michael in it. You are the only Mike in it."

    He paused for a minute. "Just how did you do it, kid? We heard shots, yet there hasn't been a shot fired from your rifle, and there isn't a bit of lead in them seven bodies over the hill there."

    I didn't say anything; what could I say? I could only look open-mouthed with amazement.

    It was then, the sergeant spoke again. "Kid," he said gently, "every one of those seven commies was killed by a sword stroke."

    That is all I can tell you, Mom. As I say, it may have been the sun in my eyes, it may have been the cold or the pain, but that is what happened.

    Love, Michael


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Turpentine


    This is a cool story!

    I didn't know until now that the gospels documented the Korean War, thanks for sharing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    This is a cool story!
    Tbh, "I shall send my archangel to smite seven of the opposing army so that thou shalt survive" doesn't really gel too well with the message of the gospel! :)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,406 ✭✭✭Pompey Magnus


    Tbh, "I shall send my archangel to smite seven of the opposing army so that thou shalt survive" doesn't really gel too well with the message of the gospel! :)

    Well Jesus did say "I came not to bring peace but a sword" so it might fit, and lets face it that story sounds about as credible as most of the stuff in the Gospels anyway.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,055 ✭✭✭Cossax


    This is a cool story!

    Sounds awfully similar in construction to those god-awful emails you see debunked on Snopes about Obama banning Christians from doing X, Y or Z or exempting Muslims from certain laws or someone/some company disrespecting the Army/pledge of allegiance or whatever.

    There are stories from WW1 (IIRC anyways) about legions of angels crashing in German lines.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,449 ✭✭✭SuperInfinity


    I don't know how I stumbled across the wikipedia page on Jesus but I can't seem to stop myself from reading on, It's just very interesting and I find myself learning about things that I should probably already know like the parable of the prodigal son/lost sheep etc.

    I'm mostly non-religious hence I'm not really hoping for a theological discussion but all in all Jesus, who I believe exised, was a very cool person in my book!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus

    Yeah, the Bible is actually pretty good in terms of fantasy literature if you take an objective view on it.

    Well done OP, this shows you have your own independant taste, are unbiased by the very loaded connotations/stigmas people have with the bible (including many atheists), and are not just doing what's fashionable or what you're supposed to.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,187 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Club Orange, Lemon and Apple are the holy trinity of soft drinks in some parts.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    kowloon wrote: »
    Club Orange, Lemon and Apple are the holy trinity of soft drinks in some parts.
    There's a Club Apple? 0_o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭maudgonner


    This is a cool story!

    Well, one day I was with an advance detail way up over the front lines. We were scouting for the commies. I was plodding along in the bitter cold; my breath was like cigar smoke. I thought I knew every guy in the patrol, when along side of me comes another Marine I never met before. He was bigger than any other Marine I'd ever seen. He must have been over 6 feet 4 inches and built in proportion. It gave me a feeling of security to have such a body near me.

    Woah-oh-oh-oh-Camoflage, thangs are never quite the way they seem....

    (Child of the 80s here, he was an awfully strange marine! :p)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 895 ✭✭✭crybaby


    Tigger wrote: »
    Jewish is a religion woody Allen is a Jew
    Semite is the race
    Jesus is depicted in all pics I've seen on wiki and mOst other places as a caucasion on north euro descent but ge was a Semite

    Joshua isn't Hebrew for Jesus there is a Joshua in the bible he was also Jewish it's in the book of Joshua


    The religion is Judaism.

    The people are Jewish.

    Woody Allen is a Jew.

    If you are a semite it means that you speak a semetic language.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,732 ✭✭✭Toby Take a Bow


    Tigger wrote: »
    they got his name wrong his name was joshua panterasonn

    I really don't understand this. Where are you getting his name as Panterasonn? Would it not have been bin joseph, or whatever?

    Tigger wrote: »
    if joshua of nazerath did exist he was a bastard militant rabbi who was sold out to the romans by his elders for trying to stir up some reformation to the jews in a colony, his messages seem to have been lost ( be excellent to each other and stop worrying about monies) yet the thing he's rembered for is the thing he isn't?

    Which is a theory (one I see some good arguments for), but has a tendency to be picked apart by academics.
    Tigger wrote: »
    Jesus is depicted in all pics I've seen on wiki and mOst other places as a caucasion on north euro descent but ge was a Semite

    Most people will depict Jesus as being like them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 449 ✭✭Emiko


    If Jesus existed (and their is a chance that he did) he would have been a bisexual stoner.

    Firstly, he wasn't married in his 30's and that was very unusual for a man at that time. He had 12 male companions, many of whom were not married either. He most likely had sexual relations with some of the apostles, especially St. Peter. He also may have had sexual relations with Mary Magdalene, if not Mary Magdalene was probably a fag-hag.

    Secondly, Jesus was a stereotypical stoner. He had an unhealthy addiction to wine and who knows what else. He went about all day preaching about love, fairies in the sky, performing magic tricks and expressing his hate of the establishment. He was like every stoner hippy that ever existed combined.

    If alive today Jesus would be one of those stoners who work in headshops or rundown back-ally record stores (the kind you're likely to find in Temple Bar). He'd be one of those guy who smoke some weed during his lunch break out back and take LSD at night. He'd wear long dread locks and a long fuzzy beard. He'd be such an anarchist too, so much so that he'd refuse to join any anarchist movement, like the WSM, because there are too "establishment". In his spare time, he would be a street performer; performing some magic tricks, juggling burning torches and breathing fire.

    This is the Jesus I worship. Like the gnostic Jesus Phillip K Dick wrote about, in which the eucharist is a magic mushroom.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    Remember that episode of TNG where Picard becomes a religious icon on a primitive planet? I bet that's what happened 2000 years ago in the Middle East. Except the beard clearly indicates it was Riker.


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