Reading about Jesus on wikipedia

greenmachine88

I don't know how I stumbled across the wikipedia page on Jesus but I can't seem to stop myself from reading on, It's just very interesting and I find myself learning about things that I should probably already know like the parable of the prodigal son/lost sheep etc.

I'm mostly non-religious hence I'm not really hoping for a theological discussion but all in all Jesus, who I believe exised, was a very cool person in my book!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus

Tigger

if you believe josh the zombie existed then yer religious ne pa?

also if he existed he wast white like those pics he was semite looking

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qIdxc0EEs44/SSRnHWBF1bI/AAAAAAAAAe0/MdbABNpXxd0/s400/jesusreal.jpg

thats what a programm a few years decided he'd of looked like

Saila

greenmachine88 wrote: »

I'm mostly non-religious

one of those fence sitters eh?

Badgermonkey

If he comes back, technically we're talking zombie here and I think that'd send out mixed messages.

mikemac

greenmachine88 wrote: »

I find myself learning about things that I should probably already know like the parable of the prodigal son/lost sheep etc.

Did you not learn these in school?

krudler

The Bible [citation needed]

randylonghorn

Tigger wrote: »

if you believe josh the zombie existed then yer religious ne pa?

Not necessarily, I think. There are many people who believe Jesus existed as a person, but don't necessarily believe in his divinity / resurrection / miracles. Obviously, for the majority of people the two do go hand in hand ...

Sonics2k

Tigger wrote: »

if you believe josh the zombie existed then yer religious ne pa?

To be fair, Historically speaking it's actually very likely the man did exist, whether he was what people make him about to be is something very different.

p.s.
inb4drama

Laika1986

Wikipedia also used to say club orange was "quare nice"

d.anthony

inb4 smug militant athiests...

Mickeroo

greenmachine88 wrote: »

I don't know how I stumbled across the wikipedia page on Jesus but I can't seem to stop myself from reading on, It's just very interesting and I find myself learning about things that I should probably already know like the parable of the prodigal son/lost sheep etc.

I'm mostly non-religious hence I'm not really hoping for a theological discussion but all in all Jesus, who I believe exised, was a very cool person in my book!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus

Gosh darn! You're right! That ole JC sure was one swell guy!

alphabeat

who ??????

mikom

greenmachine88 wrote: »

but all in all Jesus, who I believe exised, was a very cool person in my book!

What's your book......... the Bible?

Tigger

randylonghorn wrote: »

Not necessarily, I think. There are many people who believe Jesus existed as a person, but don't necessarily believe in his divinity / resurrection / miracles. Obviously, for the majority of people the two do go hand in hand ...

did you read the article?

drumlover22

I love the way even Wiki isn't sure, Possible place of birth :P

Calibos

Saila wrote: »

one of those fence sitters eh?

No, it means he ticks catholic in the census, believes in the creator of the universe, believes the bible is his inspired words.....but couldn't arsed getting up for mass on a Sunday or actually reading the the 'most important book in the history of the universe'

Temptamperu

Jaysis he would be handy now. What with his alcohol making skills and there not being a offy open till tomorrow.

mikemac

randylonghorn wrote: »

There are many people who believe Jesus existed as a person, but don't necessarily believe in his divinity / resurrection / miracles.

Heretics must burn :mad:

Tigger

Sonics2k wrote: »

To be fair, Historically speaking it's actually very likely the man did exist, whether he was what people make him about to be is something very different.

p.s.
inb4drama

they got his name wrong his name was joshua panterasonn
they got his race wrong he was a semite
they got his godleyness wrong but he still existed

i really don't understand the relavance

if joshua of nazerath did exist he was a bastard militant rabbi who was sold out to the romans by his elders for trying to stir up some reformation to the jews in a colony, his messages seem to have been lost ( be excellent to each other and stop worrying about monies) yet the thing he's rembered for is the thing he isn't?

randylonghorn

Tigger wrote: »

did you read the article?

I've been skimming it since I posted, but I hadn't prior to posting, I was responding simply to your point. Why?

mikemac wrote: »

Heretics must burn :mad:

In the Pauline sense? *

Most of us do from time to time anyway ... >_>






* i.e. with lust

My name is URL

greenmachine88 wrote: »

all in all Jesus, who I believe exised, was a very cool person*

nec viridis 1:1

Sonics2k

Tigger wrote: »

they got his name wrong his name was joshua panterasonn
they got his race wrong he was a semite
they got his godleyness wrong but he still existed

i really don't understand the relavance

if joshua of nazerath did exist he was a bastard militant rabbi who was sold out to the romans by his elders for trying to stir up some reformation to the jews in a colony, his messages seem to have been lost ( be excellent to each other and stop worrying about monies) yet the thing he's rembered for is the thing he isn't?

Hey no arguments here, I'm an Athiest by nature.

But minor points, they didn't get his name wrong, it was altered over time by bad interpretations through various languages and of course intentional changes by the Church.

Like many of histories major figures, the facts are often separated from the myths. As an example, Mohammed actually preached peace to all people, but of course some lunatics gotta take it all to far, just like is/was done with Jesus.

mikemac

John 3:7

UP TIPP

randylonghorn

Tigger wrote: »

they got his name wrong his name was joshua panterasonn
they got his race wrong he was a semite
they got his godleyness wrong but he still existed

Joshua and Jesus are essentially the same name in different languages / scripts, and it has always been accepted that Jesus was Jewish. His godliness or otherwise is what has exercised minds for millennia.

Tigger wrote: »

if joshua of nazerath did exist he was a bastard militant rabbi who was sold out to the romans by his elders for trying to stir up some reformation to the jews in a colony ...

And some people have seen him as exactly that.

And Mike, Kilkenny people would claim Jesus as a supporter. And tell you he was the second son, DJ's baby bro, to boot! :pac:

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Tigger wrote: »

they got his name wrong his name was joshua panterasonn
they got his race wrong he was a semite
they got his godleyness wrong but he still existed

I really don't think he was Scandanavian...

krudler

d.anthony wrote: »

inb4 smug militant athiests...

I have no issue with Jesus the historical figure,as a lot of atheists wouldnt, basically a guy telling people to be nice to each other, the magic trick playing, physics defying zombie is a bit harder to accept though.

militant atheists? they have tanks now?

marco_polo

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I really don't think he was Scandanavian...

Well historically he is depicted as looking suspiciously like one of the blokes out of ABBA

Tigger

randylonghorn wrote: »

Joshua and Jesus are essentially the same name in different languages / scripts, and it has always been accepted that Jesus was Jewish. His godliness or otherwise is what has exercised minds for millennia.

And some people have seen him as exactly that.

And Mike, Kilkenny people would claim Jesus as a supporter. And tell you he was the second son, DJ's baby bro, to boot! :pac:

Jewish is a religion woody Allen is a Jew
Semite is the race
Jesus is depicted in all pics I've seen on wiki and mOst other places as a caucasion on north euro descent but ge was a Semite

Joshua isn't Hebrew for Jesus there is a Joshua in the bible he was also Jewish it's in the book of Joshua

mikemac

Next thing you'll be telling me that Jesus was black

Tigger

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I really don't think he was Scandanavian...

Look at the pictures he's blatantly scandanavian

Sonics2k

I think I'm going to cry.

Goodnight AH.

greenmachine88

this is a fairly accurate copy!



http://www.google.ie/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.onlythrujesus.org/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/faceofshroudofturin.jpg.w300h426.jpg&sa=X&ei=tLlJTsboGZOBhQft_Yz-Bw&ved=0CAUQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNE3IQ8MEunBU5p07gAEAbyEwy-RBw

randylonghorn

Tigger wrote: »

Jewish is a religion woody Allen is a Jew
Semite is the race

Jewish / semitic / whatever, you know what I meant!

Tigger wrote: »

Jesus is depicted in all pics I've seen on wiki and mOst other places as a caucasion on north euro descent ...

Presumably because most of the pictures you've seen originate from Northern Europe, and because most of the larger Christian churches are or were centred there.

I've seen depictions of Jesus as a black man in Africa, and Japanese and Balinese "local" depictions of Jesus as Japanese / Balinese.

Actually, a few from the web in similar vein ...
Link
Link 2
Link 3

Most cultures have seemed to localise him, and depict him as one of their own.

Tigger wrote: »

Joshua isn't Hebrew for Jesus there is a Joshua in the bible he was also Jewish it's in the book of Joshua

It isn't quite as simple as Joshua being the Hebrew for Jesus, but they're essentially the same name.

Remember that the gospels, unlike the old testament, were probably written in Greek, or at least the earliest versions known were in Greek.

From the article:

“Jesus” is a transliteration, occurring in a number of languages and based on the Latin Iesus, of the Greek Ἰησοῦς (Iēsoûs), itself a Hellenisation of the Hebrew יְהוֹשֻׁעַ (Yĕhōšuă‘, Joshua) or Hebrew-Aramaic יֵשׁוּעַ (Yēšûă‘).meaning "Yahweh delivers (or rescues)"

mikemac wrote: »

Next thing you'll be telling me that Jesus was black

No, but he's often depicted as such in Africa ...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

marco_polo wrote: »

Well historically he is depicted as looking suspiciously like one of the blokes out of ABBA

Nah - they looked like him.

Tigger wrote: »

Look at the pictures he's blatantly scandanavian

Yeah... now you come to think of it, the short blonde hair and pale skin ... :eek:

fiinch

to be fair if i met David Blaine two thousand years ago i'd have thought he was a god too. what do you mean he just stands on his toes to levitate? I KNOW WHAT I SAW

My name is URL

greenmachine88 wrote: »

this is a fairly accurate copy!



http://www.google.ie/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.onlythrujesus.org/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/faceofshroudofturin.jpg.w300h426.jpg&sa=X&ei=tLlJTsboGZOBhQft_Yz-Bw&ved=0CAUQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNE3IQ8MEunBU5p07gAEAbyEwy-RBw

He's not the Messiah

Tehachapi

mikemac wrote: »

John 3:7

UP TIPP

They'll need some sort of divine intervention to win the AI if they play like they did on sunday.

charlemont

I believe the man himself existed and he was obviously a powerful figure in his time to have people form a religion based on him but I don't believe he was son of god or his mother was a virgin, I know of several people who's life's have been improved by praying to Jesus but I reckon its the power of the belief in prayer that is work in those situations.

Jesus rocks !!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

fiinch wrote: »

to be fair if i met David Blaine two thousand years ago i'd have thought he was a god too. what do you mean he just stands on his toes to levitate? I KNOW WHAT I SAW

You didn't see anything...

Tehachapi

wikipedia wrote:

Christians traditionally believe that Jesus was born of a virgin,[10]:529–32 performed miracles,[10]:358–59 founded the Church, rose from the dead, and ascended into heaven,[10]:616–20 from which he will return

What a steaming pile of sh1te.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Tehachapi wrote: »

What a steaming pile of sh1te.

I'm pretty sure that IS what most of them believe.

Tehachapi

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I'm pretty sure that IS what most of them believe.

I know, I meant the beliefs themselves are rubbish.

"Born of a virgin"? Rofl. There are some species who can conceive without sexual intercourse like fish, etc but humans? Not a chance.

Resurrection from the dead? He either wasn't really dead or that's rubbish aswell. They should probably look up the definition of "death".

Ah here, why do I bother. Anyone who genuinely believes that stuff has something seriously wrong with them.

Turpentine

greenmachine88 wrote: »

I don't know how I stumbled across the wikipedia page on Jesus

The lord works in mysterious ways.

greenmachine88

Tehachapi wrote: »

I know, I meant the beliefs themselves are rubbish.

"Born of a virgin"? Rofl. There are some species who can conceive without sexual intercourse like fish, etc but humans? Not a chance.

Resurrection from the dead? He either wasn't really dead or that's rubbish aswell. They should probably look up the definition of "death".

Ah here, why do I bother. Anyone who genuinely believes that stuff has something seriously wrong with them.

Not at all crazy, anything is possible in this old universe of ours, this could have happened.

It's like we never really take the time to think about the significance of these things, Jesus said some really epic things that are still used today!

And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened

Turpentine

Turpentine wrote: »

The lord works in mysterious ways.

By that I mean he probably manipulated the google spiders when you were searching for "cheap home-brewing techniques".

Killer Pigeon

If Jesus existed (and their is a chance that he did) he would have been a bisexual stoner.

Firstly, he wasn't married in his 30's and that was very unusual for a man at that time. He had 12 male companions, many of whom were not married either. He most likely had sexual relations with some of the apostles, especially St. Peter. He also may have had sexual relations with Mary Magdalene, if not Mary Magdalene was probably a fag-hag.

Secondly, Jesus was a stereotypical stoner. He had an unhealthy addiction to wine and who knows what else. He went about all day preaching about love, fairies in the sky, performing magic tricks and expressing his hate of the establishment. He was like every stoner hippy that ever existed combined.

If alive today Jesus would be one of those stoners who work in headshops or rundown back-ally record stores (the kind you're likely to find in Temple Bar). He'd be one of those guy who smoke some weed during his lunch break out back and take LSD at night. He'd wear long dread locks and a long fuzzy beard. He'd be such an anarchist too, so much so that he'd refuse to join any anarchist movement, like the WSM, because there are too "establishment". In his spare time, he would be a street performer; performing some magic tricks, juggling burning torches and breathing fire.

leposean

I recently found jesus...he was hiding behind the sofa

Pompey Magnus

Personally I prefer Jesus the son of Ananias, he seemed a harmless auld sod and didn't go around inventing nasty stories about hellfire unlike his better known namesake.

greenmachine88

This is a cool story!

What follows is a letter written by a young Marine to his mother while he was hospitalized after being wounded on a Korean battlefield in 1950. It came into the hands of a Navy Chaplain who read the letter before 5,000 Marines at a San Diego Naval Base in 1951.


Dear Mom,

I wouldn't dare write this letter to anyone but you because no one else would believe it. Maybe even you will find it hard, but I have to tell somebody.

First off, I am in a hospital. Now don't worry, you hear me, don't worry. I was wounded but I'm okay. The doctor says that I will be up and around in a month. But that is not what I want to tell you.

Remember when I joined the Marines last year; remember when I left, how you told me to say a prayer to St. Michael every day. You really didn't have to tell me that. Ever since I can remember you always told me to pray to St. Michael the Archangel. You even named me after him. Well I have always prayed to St. Michael. When I got to Korea, I prayed even harder. Remember the prayer that you taught me? "Michael, Michael of the morning, fresh corps of Heaven adorning…" You know the rest of it. Well, I said it every day, sometimes when I was marching or sometimes resting, but always before I went to sleep. I even got some of the other fellas to say it.

Well, one day I was with an advance detail way up over the front lines. We were scouting for the commies. I was plodding along in the bitter cold; my breath was like cigar smoke. I thought I knew every guy in the patrol, when along side of me comes another Marine I never met before. He was bigger than any other Marine I'd ever seen. He must have been over 6 feet 4 inches and built in proportion. It gave me a feeling of security to have such a body near me.

Anyway, there we were trudging along. The rest of the patrol spread out. Just to start a conversation I said, "Cold ain't it." And then I laughed. Here I was with a good chance of getting killed any minute and I am talking about the weather!

My companion seemed to understand. I heard him laugh softly.

I looked at him, "I've never seen you before. I thought I knew every man in the outfit."

"I just joined at the last minute," he replied, "the name is Michael."

"Is that so," I said surprised, "that's my name too."

"I know," he said, and then went on saying the prayer, "Michael, Michael of the morning..."

I was too amazed to say anything for a minute. How did he know my name, and a prayer that you had taught me? Then I smiled to myself, every guy in the outfit knew about me. Hadn't I taught the prayer to anybody who would listen? Why now and then, they even referred to me as St. Michael.

Neither of us spoke for a time, and then he broke the silence.

"We're going to have some trouble up ahead." He must have been in fine physical shape for he was breathing so lightly I couldn't see his breath. Mine poured out in great clouds. There was no smile on his face now. Trouble ahead, I thought to myself; well with the commies all around us, that's no great revelation.

Snow began to fall in thick great globs. In a brief moment the whole countryside was blotted out, and I was marching in a white fog of wet sticky particles. My companion disappeared.

"Michael!" I shouted in sudden alarm. I felt his hand on my arm, his voice was rich and strong, "This will stop shortly."

His prophecy proved to be correct. In a few minutes the snow stopped as abruptly as it had begun. The sun was a hard shining disc. I looked back for the rest of the patrol. There was no one in sight. We lost them in the heavy fall of snow. I looked ahead as we came over a little rise. Mom, my heart stopped. There were seven of them, seven commies in their padded pants and jackets and their funny hats. Only there wasn’t anything funny about them now. Seven rifles were aimed at us.

"Down Michael!" I screamed, and hit the frozen earth. I heard those rifles fire almost as one. I heard the bullets. There was Michael still standing.

Mom, those guys couldn't have missed, not at that range. I expected to see him literally blown to bits, but there he stood, making no effort to fire himself. He was paralyzed with fear. It happens sometimes, Mom, even to the bravest. He was like a bird fascinated by a snake. At least that's what I thought then. I jumped up to pull him down and that was when I got mine. I felt a sudden flame in my chest. I often wondered what it felt like to be hit. Now I know.

I remember feeling strong arms about me, arms that laid me ever so gently on a pillow of snow. I opened my eyes, for one last look. I thought I was dying. Maybe I was even dead. I remember thinking, “Well, this is not so bad.”

Maybe I was looking into the sun. Maybe I was in shock, but it seemed I saw Michael standing erect again, only this time his face was shining with a terrible splendor.

As I say, maybe it was the sun in my eyes, but he seemed to change as I watched him. He grew bigger, his arms stretched out wide, maybe it was the snow falling again but there was a brightness around him like the wings of an angel. In his hand was a sword. A sword that flashed with a million lights.

Well, that's the last thing I remember until the rest of the fellas came up and found me; I don't know how much time had passed. Now and then I had but a moment's rest from the pain and fever. I remember telling them of the enemy just ahead.

"Where's Michael?" I asked. I saw them look at one another. "Where's who?" asked one.

"Michael, that big Marine I was walking with just before the snow squall hit us."

"Kid," said the sergeant, "you weren't walking with anyone. I had my eyes on you the whole time. You were getting too far out. I was just going to call you in, when you disappeared in the snow."

He looked at me, curiously. "How did you do it, kid?"

"How did I do what?" I asked half angry, despite my wound. "This Marine named Michael and I were just..." "Son," said the sergeant kindly, "I picked this outfit myself and there just ain't another Michael in it. You are the only Mike in it."

He paused for a minute. "Just how did you do it, kid? We heard shots, yet there hasn't been a shot fired from your rifle, and there isn't a bit of lead in them seven bodies over the hill there."

I didn't say anything; what could I say? I could only look open-mouthed with amazement.

It was then, the sergeant spoke again. "Kid," he said gently, "every one of those seven commies was killed by a sword stroke."

That is all I can tell you, Mom. As I say, it may have been the sun in my eyes, it may have been the cold or the pain, but that is what happened.

Love, Michael

Turpentine

greenmachine88 wrote: »

This is a cool story!

I didn't know until now that the gospels documented the Korean War, thanks for sharing.

randylonghorn

greenmachine88 wrote: »

This is a cool story!

Tbh, "I shall send my archangel to smite seven of the opposing army so that thou shalt survive" doesn't really gel too well with the message of the gospel!