Stupid cliches in newspapers....

The King of Moo · 15-08-2011 06:41PM

Tv, not newspaper, the advent of rolling 24-hour news has also led to the birth of the 20-minute continuous shot of the outside of a house or a room before a press conference as we wait for something newsworthy to happen.

Or the lengthy helicopter shot of a car travelling to a destination where we know what's going to happen when they arrive. The worst example I saw was Gordon Brown being driven to Buckingham Palace to tell Queen Liz he was going to dissolve the government. We all knew he was going to do it, so what was the point of hanging around outside No. 10, then following him all the way there?

the purple tin · 15-08-2011 06:47PM

Hate it when the newspapers show a picture of a woman from behind and use the headline "Georgia looks rear-ly nice" :mad:

mike65 · 15-08-2011 06:54PM

Team X "SWOOP" for Player Y

amacca · 15-08-2011 06:58PM

the purple tin wrote: »

Hate it when the newspapers show a picture of a woman from behind and use the headline "Georgia looks rear-ly nice" :mad:

:P yeah but low brow men such as myself love that

besides that Salpa one is a talented journalist..she must be, she hasn't been out of the star for the last two years

amacca · 15-08-2011 07:01PM

mike65 wrote: »

Team X "SWOOP" for Player Y

like a gigantic corporate bird of prey...plucking the unsuspecting premiership footballer straight from the protective bosom of his former club:eek:

and then tearing him apart for the valuable protein he contains before regurgitating him to a lesser "feeder" club

dr gonzo · 15-08-2011 07:17PM

I dont know if this is necessarily a cliche but it is common and exceptionally irritating.

When rag newspapers insist on throwing out some semi insulting adjective for some unpleasant character thats been in the news. For example, on the front cover of the sun today (or one of those sh1te papers), something along the lines of "grin on maniacs face as he re-enacts mass murder". As fcuking if the spree killing of a huge number of children and teenagers wasnt enough to tell me the guy was insane, it was only when i read that mildly insulting description in the sun that it became clear!

Stop reporting your mock horror and moral indignance and just give us the goddamn news

... or at least thats what i would say if i had any intention whatsoever of purchasing one of those moronic tabloids.

looksee · 15-08-2011 07:20PM

The nation braces itself for bad news in the budget. Students brace themselves for the leaving cert results. Conjures up such strange visions.

The King of Moo · 15-08-2011 07:25PM

Hubby blasts docs over wife op horror.

Manager snubs wantaway striker as Barca swoop.

(circa 2005) Here's what our computer boffins reckon Emma Watson will look like when she's 18 using computer wizardry.

BONKERS! Eggheads waste YOUR money to find out when spaghetti breaks!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 15-08-2011 07:29PM

I saw a particularly bad tabloid pun in the Star the other day. The mayor of Dublin was launching a Latin American festival while wearing a sombrero and striking a salsa pose. According to the paper 'To him dancing's no LATIN matter'

I wonder if even regular readers of tabloids are stupid enough to find this crap funny.

amacca · 15-08-2011 07:32PM

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

I wonder if even regular readers of tabloids are stupid enough to find this crap funny.

hangs head in shame!

mikemac · 15-08-2011 07:33PM

Random girl spends night with celebrity and sells the story
Leonardo di Caprio is an example and Robbie Williams had several of these stories sold by tramps.

Said girl goes in huge detail on what happened, how she turned up at his hotel door and what exactly happened in the bedroom

There will be a photo of her wearing next nothing but a strategically placed hand or garment to cover her chest.

She doesn't want her photo to be appear trashy or low class :rolleyes:

recylingbin · 15-08-2011 07:42PM

mikemac wrote: »

Random girl spends night with celebrity and sells the story
Leonardo di Caprio is an example and Robbie Williams had several of these stories sold by tramps.

Said girl goes in huge detail on what happened, how she turned up at his hotel door and what exactly happened in the bedroom

There will be a photo of her wearing next nothing but a strategically placed hand or garment to cover her chest.

She doesn't want her photo to be appear trashy or low class :rolleyes:

In my opinion, most of these types, or at least alot of them, are planted by the 'celebrity's' own people as a smokescreen to hide their homosexuality. Especially so in the case of one of the two people you've mentioned above imo.

slapbangwallop · 15-08-2011 07:46PM

dan1895 wrote: »

Any time Shels dish out a hiding - "opponents left Shel-shocked"
Any time UCD AFC are on the end of a hiding - "Students taught lesson"

Fup off and come up with something original!

Finn Harps - "Harps on song" or "Harps out of tune"

Heavy drubbing equals "Harps hit bum note"

slapbangwallop · 15-08-2011 07:56PM

dirtypanties wrote: »

The body was found by a man out walking his dog.....

Everytime!!!

WRONG!

what about that "early morning jogger"

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 15-08-2011 08:04PM

I'd love if just once it said the body was discovered by something unusual, like people dogging.

Delirium · 15-08-2011 08:06PM

dirtypanties wrote: »

The body was found by a man out walking his dog.....

Everytime!!!

Sounds like a prime suspect in those unsolved serial killer cases :pac:

Paparazzo · 15-08-2011 08:11PM

These apply to tabloids:
If anything happens to a young girl, goes missing or dies, the paper has to tell us if she was good looking or not. "Rachel was a beautiful young girl from Cobh"

No one in the world uses the word "boffins" except in tabloid newspapers. Why not just call them scientists?

tayto lover · 15-08-2011 08:13PM

"Paper will never refuse ink"

Bloody cliches. Annoying things like "the murdered man was known to the Gardai".

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 15-08-2011 08:14PM

tayto lover wrote: »

Bloody cliches. Annoying things like "the murdered man was known to the Gardai".

I hate that phrase. Everyone is known to Gardai, albeit usually not due to any wrongdoing.

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 15-08-2011 08:15PM

seile seogies twitter on kylie Minogue,how the fck did that even get front page on newspaper.

mikemac · 15-08-2011 08:15PM

A source close to the Evening Herald....
If you put in "a source" you can insert any lie you want and nobody can double check

I've seen this in the Daily Mail but I'd bet they are not alone
"The parents of murdered Sam were devastated as they learned the news at their 300,000 pound home"

The price of their house has nothing at all to do with the story.
But they always insert the house price, shows they are not council tenants and are "middle England" and decent people

take everything · 15-08-2011 08:21PM

chin_grin wrote: »

Nope. But here's a nice video on how to report the news.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtGSXMuWMR4

Meta-tastic!
Reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U4Ha9HQvMo

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 15-08-2011 08:23PM

here's what really annoys me about media-

if a celeb dies from a drug incident,their death is described as fcking tragic and there will be some memorial held in their honour,with guards bothering their backside to investigate the dealers,but if some scoob dies in the same situation,nobody will care,not even the president,or celebs or anyone else will turn up at their funeral.

blow69 · 15-08-2011 08:31PM

The worst has to be the local priest talking about the passing of someone. The person who died could have been ten days old or just moved to the area a day ago.

"The whole town is in shock. They were an extremely talented, kind-hearted person.

Also, stupid tabloid headlines such as;

"MUM OF TRAGIC TOT BLASTS SICK EX LOVER AND PAEDO!!!!!!!!!"

And when it is revealed that some celebrity has a new lover, usually on a sun holiday.

"An onlooker described the couple as all loved up and touchy feely"

"She's chest great" (really?)

And most recently, this. The reporters fake "concerned" tone. Lazy lazy lazy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87a118__RmY

chicken fingers · 15-08-2011 08:33PM

Im embarrassed for all of you tabloid readers.

(this poster reads AH daily)

take everything · 15-08-2011 08:38PM

Why do people get "blasted" in headlines and not in real life.
Also "crunch" talks: when was the last time someone said they were going to "crunch" talks.

mikemac · 15-08-2011 08:42PM

In the news section
"Shock as young girls stress and struggle with their weight"

I wonder why, the media should look at themselves

The Daily Mail slammed Kate Moss one week for seeming "flabby" at a show in Paris and the very next week reported she was dangerously thin

Give glowing opinion pieces about Gwyneth Paltrow's intensive exercise regime and diet and how Natalie Portman shed weight be be a ballerina
And the next week criticize them for being too thin and setting a bad example

pauro 76 · 15-08-2011 08:48PM

An expose in some seedy brothel...

'Our reporter was invited into the boudoir but he made his excuses and declined...'

Yeah rigght. :rolleyes:

Irish Guitarist · 15-08-2011 08:50PM

I found the Sun article about the man with a skull tattoo. The 'reporter' can barely write a sentence without making a reference to how the tattooed man is unemployed. It's possibly the most pointless 'news' story anyone could write. Here's the article, I put the references to him being on the dole in bold.

A tattoo addict has horrified his loved ones - by getting a SKULL inked on his face.
Jobless "Mad Dog" Deon, 27, paraded the artwork - his 37th tattoo - on today's Jeremy Kyle Show.
His girlfriend Catherine, 31, also appeared on the ITV1 programme titled "How Could My Boyfriend Destroy His Own Face?", during which she complained about his decision.
She had presumed Deon was joking when he announced he intended to have the tattoo.
She told TV host Jeremy: "Last week, he said, 'I'm going out to have a skull tattooed on my face'. "

She added: "I thought he was joking. Off he went and came back with it covering his face."
Deon, of Walsall, West Mids - who got his first tattoo at 17 - adds: "I don't care what I look like. I am who I am, if people don't like me for who I am, they can do one."

Kyle said: "I'm slightly struggling as to why anyone would have a skull tattooed on their face."
Layabout Deon told the ITV1 show that he wasn't finished with his "artwork" yet - saying he was planning to have even more tattoos on his neck.
And he told an angry Catherine that his gruesome new look shouldn't hurt their relationship.
Deon said: "What's wrong with it? I'm still the same person inside."
The workshy dad added: "I'm not bothered if she doesn't fancy me."
Deon had failed a lie detector test when asked if he'd slept with any other women, and Catherine told him their relationship is over.
She said: "You are out. You know what? There's a thing called injunctions so don't start your games."
Host Kyle told the waster: "You are a liar and a cheat and you look ridiculous."
Deon hit back by saying Kyle should laugh at his own face when he looks in the mirror - and he tore into the TV host for spending time in casinos.

Here's another article from The Sun. The reporter seems to think that being a 'dole scrounger' is as contemptuous as being a murderer and a torturer.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 15-08-2011 08:53PM

The worst bit is the appeal for people who know the man to call in and dish the dirt on him.

Stupid cliches in newspapers....

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