Stupid cliches in newspapers....

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Does anyone else notice stupid photo opportunities that are repeated in the papers on a regular basis? For example, every time there's an election or a referendum there is a photo of a woman in a wedding dress casting her vote before getting married. These women obviously call the papers asking them to come to the polling station for a photo. Another example is the obligatory photo after major GAA matches of a couple from the opposing counties, whose children are wearing different jersey's.

Can anyone think of any more of these stupid non-stories that make the paper on a regular basis?

chin_grin

Nope. But here's a nice video on how to report the news.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtGSXMuWMR4

cosmicfart

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Does anyone else notice stupid photo opportunities that are repeated in the papers on a regular basis? For example, every time there's an election or a referendum there is a photo of a woman in a wedding dress casting her vote before getting married. These women obviously call the papers asking them to come to the polling station for a photo. Another example is the obligatory photo after major GAA matches of a couple from the opposing counties, whose children are wearing different jersey's.

Can anyone think of any more of these stupid non-stories that make the paper on a regular basis?

Lack of more boobies

chin_grin

cosmicfart wrote: »

Lack of more boobies

You know there are certain publications that don't report the news and, in fact, are completely jam packed full of naked ladies? Try the top shelf.

7sr2z3fely84g5

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Can anyone think of any more of these stupid non-stories that make the paper on a regular basis?

not paper,but on tv-
leaving or junior cert results on rte-THE WAIT WAS OVER *show footage of girls shrieking at their results*

Then footage changes to some snobby persons house and show them looking at their results with their mummy and daddy.

or anything to do with cats it was a "purrfect moment" :rolleyes:

alchemist33

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Can anyone think of any more of these stupid non-stories that make the paper on a regular basis?

Somebody has been suggested by somebody else as a possible President, even though they've not thought about running themselves. Oh look, here's an opinion poll...

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Amara Mealy Grave wrote: »

not paper,but on tv-
leaving or junior cert results on rte-THE WAIT WAS OVER *show footage of girls shrieking at their results*

Then footage changes to some snobby persons house and show them looking at their results with their mummy and daddy.

or anything to do with cats it was a "purrfect moment" :rolleyes:

Very true, you don't see such a big deal being made of the GSCE's in England.

alchemist33 wrote: »

Somebody has been suggested by somebody else as a possible President, even though they've not thought about running themselves. Oh look, here's an opinion poll...

Eamon O'Cuiv was featured in an opinion poll without any suggestion from anyone of him running.

El Weirdo

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

Does anyone else notice stupid photo opportunities that are repeated in the papers on a regular basis? For example, every time there's an election or a referendum there is a photo of a woman in a wedding dress casting her vote before getting married. These women obviously call the papers asking them to come to the polling station for a photo. Another example is the obligatory photo after major GAA matches of a couple from the opposing counties, whose children are wearing different jersey's.

Can anyone think of any more of these stupid non-stories that make the paper on a regular basis?

A source close to the star, 32, said.

cosmicfart

chin_grin wrote: »

You know there are certain publications that don't report the news and, in fact, are completely jam packed full of naked ladies? Try the top shelf.

that my kinda news.....and today in Ireland BOOOOOBS

My name is URL

Cliché-gate

Lux23

Tried and tested methods, some times when you try something different it the concept might not be immediately obvious to anyone but yourself.

El Weirdo

My name is URL wrote: »

Cliché-gate

Yeah. That one really gets on my fucking nerves.

The King of Moo

Georgia Salpa and some other slapper in their underwear beside a visibly uncomfortable Government minister announcing a road safety campaign or something.
Made even worse by the fact that it only happens in Ireland.

7sr2z3fely84g5

The King of Moo wrote: »

Georgia Salpa and some other slapper in their underwear beside a visibly uncomfortable Government minister announcing a road safety campaign or something.
Made even worse by the fact that it only happens in Ireland.

i could say the same with any fashion clothing,usually its an fat ordinary person that does be wearing them.

Irish Guitarist

The Sun consists of stories that at first glance seem to be about something bizarre but end up being about a 'dole scrounger wasting our tax money'.

For instance a few months ago (or maybe it was last year) there was a story about a man with a massive skull tattoo on his face. I thought they were going to interview the man and ask what inspired him to do this and possibly have an interview with the tattoo artist. Instead the entire article was about him being a 'layabout' and a 'waster' and had nothing whatsoever to do with his tattoo, it was just a way of having a dig at the unemployed.

If The Sun was going to do a report on someone engaging in necrophilia the headline would probably read "MAN HAS SEX WITH CORPSES - HE OPENED THE COFFINS WITH A CROWBAR PURCHASED WITH YOUR TAX MONEY!!".

The King of Moo

I love the seemingly random words in bold you get between paragraphs in tabloids (and sometimes the Irish Independent I think) that are from the text and I guess are meant to give you the gist of the story, but make no sense out of context.

texttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttextttexttexttexttext

BOTTLE

texttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttext

ARM

texttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttext

VESTIBULE

texttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttexttext

MIDWIFERY

IamtheWalrus

If anything happens in a number of 6, the headline will be 'The joy of 6' guaranteed. yawn.

The King of Moo

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

If anything happens in a number of 6, the headline will be 'The joy of 6' guaranteed. yawn.

Or "On cloud nine" and "in seventh heaven."

So lazy.

Feeona

Spring-Lambs to the slaughter

Summer-Soaring temperatures : Pictures of children at beach fully clothed because it's still freezing!

September-Junior Infants starting school, always a picture of a child looking terrified while all the adults around him/her are laughing and talking about how cute he/she is.

Hallowe'en-Picture of a person with half their face missing due to them standing beside a person who had been to a bonfire once and held a fire cracker

Christmas-Queues of shoppers. Record spending.
Snowman if it's snowing, or picture of man slipping and cracking his face off the sidewalk (that still haunts me!!)

dan1895

Any time Shels dish out a hiding - "opponents left Shel-shocked"
Any time UCD AFC are on the end of a hiding - "Students taught lesson"

Fup off and come up with something original!

**Vai**

The King of Moo wrote: »

Georgia Salpa and some other slapper in their underwear beside a visibly uncomfortable Government minister announcing a road safety campaign or something.
Made even worse by the fact that it only happens in Ireland.

Salpa always makes me pay attention.

marty1985

Whenever a funeral is in the news, the Irish Independent are never far away with bad poetry and try to end with a line that leaves the reader hanging breathless onto every word, as if showing Seamus Heaney how it's done.

Outside, the evening shadows lengthened.

Richard Hillman

Everytime the unemployment figures come out there is a picture of the massive dole queue in Dun Laoghaire.

When the GAA are promoting something they have a load of kids in county jerseys and there is always a token black kid.

The Star's semi-annual Ireland to play England at football story (notably printed on very slow news days)

Larry Murphy visits red light district in <insert city here>

Made up Fat Freddy stories in the Evening Herald everyday.

amacca

six one news just there now


gimpy looking student in a tent with a laptop...item was on new deposit protection scheme and up to 45k students hunting for accomodation come september

apparently students hope the wont have to settle for accomodation like that


cringe worthily funny I tells ya

trashcan

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

If anything happens in a number of 6, the headline will be 'The joy of 6' guaranteed. yawn.

Indeed. or the inevitable "Sixy" reference. Or if someone wins a football match 6-0 does it always have to be referred to as "sixy football" ?

Or where someone makes a throwaway remark and the Press then proceed to regurgitate it forevermore. E.g Gerry Adams IRA remark "They haven't gone away you know" Anyone else sick of hearing this referenced ad nauseum where things "haven't gone away you know"

Oh and agree completely about The Evening Herald and Fat Freddie. WTF is that all about ? I don't think there's a week goes by without him having a front page headline, mostly on some completely spurious basis.

And still on the Herald they had a story recently with the Headline "Priest caught in bomb horror" or something like that. Turns out that there was a device found on the road where the Priest lives. That's right, on the same road. Where the Priest, and presumably lots of other people, live. I guess "Housewife", or "Plumber" "caught in Bomb horror" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

7sr2z3fely84g5

amacca wrote: »

six one news just there now


gimpy looking student in a tent with a laptop...item was on new deposit protection scheme and up to 45k students hunting for accomodation come september

apparently students hope the wont have to settle for accomodation like that


cringe worthily funny I tells ya

media always potrays students as poor and struggling,some aren't,their mammies and daddies pay for it all.

dirtypanties

The body was found by a man out walking his dog.....

Everytime!!!

Magic Beans

I hate the way they end news bulletins with an up-beat cute and cuddly story about a babay koala being rescued from a well by a one armed blind orphan in a wheelchair. Are we just supposed to forget all the serious news before it and go "awwwwww isn't that cute"? Wake up sheeple.

mental07

'Snow joke'

'Meanwhile in Heathrow, it was snow joke for Joe & Josephine Bloggs as they had 3 flights cancelled on them...'

Michael567

This lovely ladies really put their breast foot forward today..........

blackdog2

Every Fuppin Christmas, that blackstard Santa leaves. How does this make the national news channel? Go stare at the back of me bollix Santa!

The King of Moo

Tv, not newspaper, the advent of rolling 24-hour news has also led to the birth of the 20-minute continuous shot of the outside of a house or a room before a press conference as we wait for something newsworthy to happen.

Or the lengthy helicopter shot of a car travelling to a destination where we know what's going to happen when they arrive. The worst example I saw was Gordon Brown being driven to Buckingham Palace to tell Queen Liz he was going to dissolve the government. We all knew he was going to do it, so what was the point of hanging around outside No. 10, then following him all the way there?

the purple tin

Hate it when the newspapers show a picture of a woman from behind and use the headline "Georgia looks rear-ly nice" :mad:

mike65

Team X "SWOOP" for Player Y

amacca

the purple tin wrote: »

Hate it when the newspapers show a picture of a woman from behind and use the headline "Georgia looks rear-ly nice" :mad:

:P yeah but low brow men such as myself love that


besides that Salpa one is a talented journalist..she must be, she hasn't been out of the star for the last two years

amacca

mike65 wrote: »

Team X "SWOOP" for Player Y

like a gigantic corporate bird of prey...plucking the unsuspecting premiership footballer straight from the protective bosom of his former club:eek:

and then tearing him apart for the valuable protein he contains before regurgitating him to a lesser "feeder" club

dr gonzo

I dont know if this is necessarily a cliche but it is common and exceptionally irritating.

When rag newspapers insist on throwing out some semi insulting adjective for some unpleasant character thats been in the news. For example, on the front cover of the sun today (or one of those sh1te papers), something along the lines of "grin on maniacs face as he re-enacts mass murder". As fcuking if the spree killing of a huge number of children and teenagers wasnt enough to tell me the guy was insane, it was only when i read that mildly insulting description in the sun that it became clear!

Stop reporting your mock horror and moral indignance and just give us the goddamn news

... or at least thats what i would say if i had any intention whatsoever of purchasing one of those moronic tabloids.

looksee

The nation braces itself for bad news in the budget. Students brace themselves for the leaving cert results. Conjures up such strange visions.

The King of Moo

Hubby blasts docs over wife op horror.

Manager snubs wantaway striker as Barca swoop.

(circa 2005) Here's what our computer boffins reckon Emma Watson will look like when she's 18 using computer wizardry.

BONKERS! Eggheads waste YOUR money to find out when spaghetti breaks!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I saw a particularly bad tabloid pun in the Star the other day. The mayor of Dublin was launching a Latin American festival while wearing a sombrero and striking a salsa pose. According to the paper 'To him dancing's no LATIN matter'

I wonder if even regular readers of tabloids are stupid enough to find this crap funny.

amacca

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

I wonder if even regular readers of tabloids are stupid enough to find this crap funny.

hangs head in shame!

mikemac

Random girl spends night with celebrity and sells the story
Leonardo di Caprio is an example and Robbie Williams had several of these stories sold by tramps.

Said girl goes in huge detail on what happened, how she turned up at his hotel door and what exactly happened in the bedroom

There will be a photo of her wearing next nothing but a strategically placed hand or garment to cover her chest.

She doesn't want her photo to be appear trashy or low class :rolleyes:

recylingbin

mikemac wrote: »

Random girl spends night with celebrity and sells the story
Leonardo di Caprio is an example and Robbie Williams had several of these stories sold by tramps.

Said girl goes in huge detail on what happened, how she turned up at his hotel door and what exactly happened in the bedroom

There will be a photo of her wearing next nothing but a strategically placed hand or garment to cover her chest.

She doesn't want her photo to be appear trashy or low class :rolleyes:

In my opinion, most of these types, or at least alot of them, are planted by the 'celebrity's' own people as a smokescreen to hide their homosexuality. Especially so in the case of one of the two people you've mentioned above imo.

slapbangwallop

dan1895 wrote: »

Any time Shels dish out a hiding - "opponents left Shel-shocked"
Any time UCD AFC are on the end of a hiding - "Students taught lesson"

Fup off and come up with something original!

Finn Harps - "Harps on song" or "Harps out of tune"

Heavy drubbing equals "Harps hit bum note"

slapbangwallop

dirtypanties wrote: »

The body was found by a man out walking his dog.....

Everytime!!!

WRONG!

what about that "early morning jogger"

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

I'd love if just once it said the body was discovered by something unusual, like people dogging.

Delirium

dirtypanties wrote: »

The body was found by a man out walking his dog.....

Everytime!!!

Sounds like a prime suspect in those unsolved serial killer cases :pac:

Paparazzo

These apply to tabloids:
If anything happens to a young girl, goes missing or dies, the paper has to tell us if she was good looking or not. "Rachel was a beautiful young girl from Cobh"

No one in the world uses the word "boffins" except in tabloid newspapers. Why not just call them scientists?

tayto lover

"Paper will never refuse ink"

Bloody cliches. Annoying things like "the murdered man was known to the Gardai".

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

tayto lover wrote: »

Bloody cliches. Annoying things like "the murdered man was known to the Gardai".

I hate that phrase. Everyone is known to Gardai, albeit usually not due to any wrongdoing.

7sr2z3fely84g5

seile seogies twitter on kylie Minogue,how the fck did that even get front page on newspaper.