Male sex assault is ok?

later12 · 14-08-2011 01:45PM

It's pretty hypocritical if that's the case.

The OP is complaining that he was not treated as he would be if he were a girl, yet not denying that he would react differently if it was a girl who had grabbed his ass.

The hypocrisy graph is off the chart if that's the case.

LaVail · 14-08-2011 01:47PM

I wouldn't worry about it, he was just having a bit of crack

looky loo · 14-08-2011 01:54PM

Why is this going into a gender debate? touching someone without their consent is a form of assault, regardless of being male/female.

Feeona · 14-08-2011 01:56PM

A guy put his hands on my bum once. The bouncer did nothing about it. That must mean that female sexual assault is ok :eek:

I'm scared

--LOS-- · 14-08-2011 02:07PM

waxon-waxoff wrote: »

I was in a well known basement late bar on Dublins Baggot St this evening and some man grabbed my ass as i walked by. I stopped a bouncer who happened to be the manager and complained to him. He said it was just some fun and then asked was i homophobic? I pointed out the culprit, he spoke to him but didnt ask him to leave. If i was female would it be the same? I left then, i couldnt believe it.

might be worth mentioning in the op you're a male!
It was probably a bit of fun in that the 'offender' didn't mean any harm or have any bad intentions behind it. Of course you're a right to be offended but I think it's only something you can say to the 'offender', not an issue to be brought up with security there let alone guards.

later10 wrote: »

Would a man be kicked out of a nightclub for grabbing a woman's ass?

No way would he! Just a standalone incident? not a chance.

waxon-waxoff wrote: »

If i was a girl it would be seen as much more serious.

No, no it wouldnt! Girls have to deal with this sh!t all the time, in fact it would probably be seen as less serious as it is seen as something that just happens and no harm meant by it.

later12 · 14-08-2011 02:13PM

looky loo wrote: »

Why is this going into a gender debate? touching someone without their consent is a form of assault, regardless of being male/female.

It's not actually clear whether the offence is that the OP's ass made contact with just any old hand, or whether his offence derives from the fact that that hand belonged to a man.

If OP could just clarify that everyone would be clearer.

--LOS-- · 14-08-2011 02:21PM

later10 wrote: »

It's not actually clear whether the offence is that the OP's ass made contact with just any old hand, or whether his offence derives from the fact that that hand belonged to a man.

If OP could just clarify that everyone would be clearer.

and they have avoided that question countless times which is really not helping.

waxon-waxoff wrote: »

If you live in Dublin you will prob guess where im talking about. Far from a gay bar.

Im just a normal fella chatting to a mate minding my own business and then walked to the bar when that weirdo grabbed my ass. I grabbed their wrist thinking it was a chick but no!

I think you're just contradicting yourself here, you're trying to make a point that a guy being groped is taken less seriously than a girl being groped. But really you seem to have double standards in that a guy being groped by a girl is ok

biko · 14-08-2011 02:23PM

Grabbing someone's ass is hardly assault. But tbh, you should probably have punched him.

looky loo · 14-08-2011 02:26PM

biko wrote: »

Grabbing someone's ass is hardly assault. But tbh, you should probably have punched him.

Actually it is, someone touching you without your consent is assault.

stupidusername · 14-08-2011 02:29PM

I'm preparing for my head to be bitten off here but the reality is there are double standards in a lot of situations,and its like this because it suits a lot of people!

If we want to be all correct about things we could say no one has the right to put their hands on someone else,but I at least dont believe this is something people believe or stick to in reality. It comes back to the good looking guy does it its ok/ugly guy does it its not ok idea.or in this case its about preferred gender

Mr Benevolent · 14-08-2011 02:31PM

later10 wrote: »

I really don't think that's relevant to the OP, is it?

Oh yes it is. If is was a normal bar the OP could've shouted 'That guy grabbed my arse!' and the culprit would've gone down in a hail of punches. Proper order too. If it was a gay bar then he would've been fair game. In fact it had to have been a gay bar.

Double standards? Maybe.

react differently if it was a girl who had grabbed his ass.

If it was a girl then he would've been chuffed. The point here is the the culprit should have at least found out if the OP was gay before potentially inviting a fist to the jaw.

Monty Burnz · 14-08-2011 02:33PM

later10 wrote: »

There's nothing inherently wrong about being pissed off about a man groping your ass - but it doesn't make it a sexual assault if you're only pissed because of the man's gender.

That just means you have a gender bias. And no, it isn't all about how the victim feels, there has to be some rationale behind the complaint too.

What is the rationale behind it being acceptable to sexually assault another person?

Logical Fallacy · 14-08-2011 02:34PM

later10 wrote: »

Would a man be kicked out of a nightclub for grabbing a woman's ass?

I'm not totally convinced about that. If she worked there, sure, but otherwise, perhaps not, no.

Depends entirely on the staff tbh.

Any door i ever worked, if i saw a guy grabbing a chicks ass he got a swift exit.

citizen_p · 14-08-2011 02:38PM

A guy grabbed your ass, laugh it off and tell him to feck off, and tell the bouncer that if he touchs you again it'll get serious...

Rambo83 · 14-08-2011 02:40PM

FFS Get a life! Sex assault, your taking the piss.

Sure I often grabbed my mates arse in a club for the craic, when he turns around he though it was the lady behind him. Great craic! And no mention of sex assault!

Dermighty · 14-08-2011 02:44PM

later10 wrote: »

Would a man be kicked out of a nightclub for grabbing a woman's ass?

I'm not totally convinced about that. If she worked there, sure, but otherwise, perhaps not, no.

In my experience (as a bouncer) the answer is invariably no. If the guy is a complete perv and/or drunk then yeah I would throw him out.

Logical Fallacy · 14-08-2011 02:50PM

Rambo83 wrote: »

Sure I often grabbed my mates arse....great crack!

FYP.

MagicSean · 14-08-2011 02:56PM

I think people calling the op homophobic is a bit ridiculous. If the op is not homosexual then he is perfectly entitled to be more open to the advances of a woman.

The King of Moo · 14-08-2011 03:08PM

Did the sex assault happen after the guy grabbed your arse?

Arse-grabbing can be very annoying, especially for girls who have it happen to them a few times in one night. From what I've seen, guys who do it (who are morons by the way: what's their reasoning: do they thing she'll like it?) generally get told off by the bouncer the first time, then ejected for repeat offences. Or they're thrown out the first time if they're drunk or being particularly aggressive or pervy.

Now this guy who grabbed your arse got spoken to, and I imagine if he were caught/reported again he'd be thrown out. I don't really see what's so wrong with what happened.

Also, as someone mentioned earlier, you probably could've had a word with the guy yourself.

ScumLord · 14-08-2011 03:13PM

Technically it was sexual assault. A woman could and probably has brought a man to court over something like that. I don't think it's a big deal, it's not nice but easily forgotten about.

upandcumming · 14-08-2011 03:52PM

minidazzler wrote: »

Did you want the guy kicked out just cos he grabbed your ass? Would you do the same if it was a woman?

Seriously, it's not a big deal, get over it. If it offends you, tell them, but at the same time, don't try to have someone kicked out for what is essentially a compliment.

Are you a sexist?
You say women should take it as a compliment too?

Killer Pigeon · 14-08-2011 04:41PM

What's wrong OP, do you not like a man's sweaty palm touching your ass?

The Snipe · 14-08-2011 05:04PM

AFAIK it would be considered sexual harassment in the case of a woman, (In the eyes of society) but would be sexual harassment for a guy in the eyes of the law, although the guards may not know it (As they at times don't seem to know anything about the law) it would be.

MagicSean · 14-08-2011 05:07PM

XiledSniper wrote: »

AFAIK it would be considered sexual harassment in the case of a woman, (In the eyes of society) but would be sexual harassment for a guy in the eyes of the law, although the guards may not know it (As they at times don't seem to know anything about the law) it would be.

You mean sexual assault don't you? Sexual harassment is not a criminal offence as far as I know. But maybe you know the law better than me.

holystungun9 · 14-08-2011 05:08PM

sorry OP, but the standard three second rule is in effect here in Ireland. You can grab or smack an arse but you cannot linger. Also you can not go between the cheeks.

twinQuins · 14-08-2011 05:11PM

Seanbeag1 wrote: »

I think people calling the op homophobic is a bit ridiculous. If the op is not homosexual then he is perfectly entitled to be more open to the advances of a woman.

No, no he 's not. Not unless he's also willing to get as angered about that and call it sexual assault.

Otherwise it's just hypocrisy.

MagicSean · 14-08-2011 05:15PM

twinQuins wrote: »

No, no he 's not. Not unless he's also willing to get as angered about that and call it sexual assault.

Otherwise it's just hypocrisy.

If a hot chick grabbed my arse I wouldn't mind. If a butt-ugly chick grabbed my arse I'd be a little grossed out. Not hypocrisy, just personal preference.

A sexual assault requires a lack of consent from the injured party. A person is allowed choose who they consent to touch them. If the op only wants hot chicks to grab him he is perfectly entitled to.

danslevent · 14-08-2011 05:56PM

Why did you expect the guy to get kicked out? Bit of an over reaction?

Just a little ass grabbing....relax guy!

14-08-2011 06:13PM

The suggestions that guys get kicked out/told off when they grab a girls ass are actually laughable.

I've had my ass grabbed, I've had guys "brush against" me way too obviously (and I'm not just talking ass), I've had guys come up and try to grind against me pretty aggressively while I'm up dancing. One time I was passing across a dance floor and was actually grabbed by one guy and held still while his friend danced right up against me while I tried desperately to get free. And friends of mine who are more good looking get even worse treatment than me. Did I go to the bouncer? NO! If I complained about stuff like that I'd either get called a moody cow, or whoever I'd complain to would probably do it to me too as a joke. If someone treats you like that, the only thing you can do is stay away from the offender or leave the venue.

Sgt.Peppers · 14-08-2011 06:19PM

ive had the same happen to me...i m not a homophobe but i dont like when that **** happens to me

Male sex assault is ok?

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