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Male sex assault is ok?

  • 14-08-2011 03:50AM
    #1
    waxon-waxoff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 395 ✭✭


    I was in a well known basement late bar on Dublins Baggot St this evening and some man grabbed my ass as i walked by. I stopped a bouncer who happened to be the manager and complained to him. He said it was just some fun and then asked was i homophobic? I pointed out the culprit, he spoke to him but didnt ask him to leave. If i was female would it be the same? I left then, i couldnt believe it.


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Comments

  • #2
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    Would a man be kicked out of a nightclub for grabbing a woman's ass?

    I'm not totally convinced about that. If she worked there, sure, but otherwise, perhaps not, no.

    I'm pretty sure I know the place you're talking about, and I'm sure they have plenty of CCTV - perhaps go to the Gardai tomorrow and ask them to take a look.


  • #3
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    waxon-waxoff wrote: »
    I was in a well known basement late bar on Dublins Baggot St this evening and some man grabbed my ass as i walked by. I stopped a bouncer who happened to be the manager and complained to him. He said it was just some fun and then asked was i homophobic? I pointed out the culprit, he spoke to him but didnt ask him to leave. If i was female would it be the same? I left then, i couldnt believe it.

    Was it a gay bar?


  • #4
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Was it a gay bar?
    I really don't think that's relevant to the OP, is it?


  • #5
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Did you want the guy kicked out just cos he grabbed your ass? Would you do the same if it was a woman? Are you a sexist?

    Seriously, it's not a big deal, get over it. If it offends you, tell them, but at the same time, don't try to have someone kicked out for what is essentially a compliment.


  • #6
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    later10 wrote: »
    I really don't think that's relevant to the OP, is it?

    Im fairly sure thats the whole point of the OP


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  • #7
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    I'd hardly call it "assault". Just take it as a compliment and move on even if it isn't your sexual preference.


  • #8
    policarp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,680 ✭✭✭policarp


    Were you digitally penetrated?


  • #9
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    Saila wrote: »
    Im fairly sure thats the whole point of the OP
    If it is then obviously the OP doesn't have grounds to complain. However if the OP's point is that he found the contact belittling or humiliating, as he would if it was initiated by a woman then that's a fair point imo.

    Not a hanging offence, I would have thought, though. I'm not necessarily convinced the man was dealt with any differently than if he had have touched a woman's ass.


  • #10
    waxon-waxoff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 395 ✭✭waxon-waxoff


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    Was it a gay bar?

    If you live in Dublin you will prob guess where im talking about. Far from a gay bar.

    Im just a normal fella chatting to a mate minding my own business and then walked to the bar when that weirdo grabbed my ass. I grabbed their wrist thinking it was a chick but no!


  • #11
    Cianos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Cianos


    waxon-waxoff wrote: »
    If you live in Dublin you will prob guess where im talking about. Far from a gay bar.

    Im just a normal fella chatting to a mate minding my own business and then walked to the bar when that weirdo grabbed my ass. I grabbed their wrist thinking it was a chick but no!

    So you were happy to assault some girl on the wrist?


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  • #12
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    waxon-waxoff wrote: »
    I grabbed their wrist thinking it was a chick but no!
    would it have made a difference if it was, or not, I think that's what everyone wants to establish?

    If you're just making a big deal about this because a guy did it then you're pretty much wasting everyone's time


  • #13
    amacachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,315 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    later10 wrote: »
    would it have made a difference if it was, or not, I think that's what everyone wants to establish?

    If you're just making a big deal about this because a guy did it then you're pretty much wasting everyone's time

    Why does it make a difference? It seems that in cases of "sexual assault" it's down to how the "victim" feels about it that defines whether or not it's seen as such. Whatever someone's reason for feeling uncomfortable about being groped whether it's because they aren't attracted to the gender of the person doing it or just to a specific person doing it is irrelevant.


  • #14
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,646 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    minidazzler wrote: »
    don't try to have someone kicked out for what is essentially a compliment.

    Exactly!

    Whenever I go out to clubs I always make sure to compliment the ladies with a big motorboat! Sure it's only my way of saying "I admire your breasts ma'am!"


  • #15
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    amacachi wrote: »
    Why does it make a difference? It seems that in cases of "sexual assault" it's down to how the "victim" feels about it that defines whether or not it's seen as such. Whatever someone's reason for feeling uncomfortable about being groped whether it's because they aren't attracted to the gender of the person doing it or just to a specific person doing it is irrelevant.
    There's nothing inherently wrong about being pissed off about a man groping your ass - but it doesn't make it a sexual assault if you're only pissed because of the man's gender.

    That just means you have a gender bias. And no, it isn't all about how the victim feels, there has to be some rationale behind the complaint too.


  • #16
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    Exactly!

    Whenever I go out to clubs I always make sure to compliment the ladies with a big motorboat! Sure it's only my way of saying "I admire your breasts ma'am!"

    Same, motorboats are great, make the girls feel good about themselves, make me feel like I just stuck my face between big soft boobies. Love it.


  • #17
    amacachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,315 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    later10 wrote: »
    There's nothing inherently wrong about being pissed off about a man groping your ass - but it doesn't make it a sexual assault if you're only pissed because of the man's gender.

    That just means you have a gender bias. And no, it isn't all about how the victim feels, there has to be some rationale behind the complaint too.

    Cool, I shall be motorboating my way around town next time I'm out. Only the women with a gender bias will be annoyed.


  • #18
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    amacachi wrote: »
    Cool, I shall be motorboating my way around town next time I'm out. Only the women with a gender bias will be annoyed.
    Absolutely - if they'd have no problems with a random woman motorboarding them then they have no reasonable argument.


  • #19
    waxon-waxoff
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 395 ✭✭waxon-waxoff


    This thread is off the point already.

    My point is some freak is grabbing dudes asses and its seen as ok by him, his friends, the bar manager and the good people of Boards . If i was a girl it would be seen as much more serious.


  • #20
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    waxon-waxoff wrote: »
    This thread is off the point already.

    My point is some freak is grabbing dudes asses and its seen as ok by him, his friends, the bar manager and the good people of Boards . If i was a girl it would be seen as much more serious.

    Because the "fairer sex" couldn't be able to fight a man off if this behaviour persisted (and I've seen it happen.....and nothing makes me more embarrassed to be a dude than to see these idiots force themselves on women or hanging around the dancefloor like vultures....but I'm getting off point here too).

    So, maybe because you're male you could be seen as to take it in stride and\or deal with it yourself. But yeah it all boils down to the fact that it's a gender thing.


  • #21
    SeanW
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 10,056 ✭✭✭✭SeanW


    later10 wrote: »
    That just means you have a gender bias. And no, it isn't all about how the victim feels, there has to be some rationale behind the complaint too.
    Groping a stranger's backside is out of order. That's rationale enough.

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  • #22
    minidazzler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,650 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    waxon-waxoff wrote: »
    This thread is off the point already.

    My point is some freak is grabbing dudes asses and its seen as ok by him, his friends, the bar manager and the good people of Boards . If i was a girl it would be seen as much more serious.

    No, it wouldn't be seen as "much more" serious if he did it once. Persisting, yes, but once, then he get's a "meh" off me. No matter what the gender is.


  • #23
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    SeanW wrote: »
    Groping a stranger's backside is out of order. That's rationale enough.
    Not really, it's only out of order if it's out of order for both sexes. There's no reason why a grope from a man is any more offensive than one from a woman - all I'm asking the OP is whether he would have asked a woman to be ejected from the club, and whether he would have been just as offended had a woman grabbed his ass.

    If he would, then fine, it's a fair complaint.

    If not, then this thread is nonsense.


  • #24
    CorkMan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭CorkMan


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=73323842

    Might give some insight about the whole area of stool grabbing.


  • #25
    xsiborg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,635 ✭✭✭xsiborg


    Ask Louis Walsh! :D


  • #26
    SLOOPY
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 55 ✭✭SLOOPY


    later10 wrote: »
    Not really, it's only out of order if it's out of order for both sexes. There's no reason why a grope from a man is any more offensive than one from a woman - all I'm asking the OP is whether he would have asked a woman to be ejected from the club, and whether he would have been just as offended had a woman grabbed his ass.

    If he would, then fine, it's a fair complaint.

    If not, then this thread is nonsense.

    You don't half prattle on with a load of oul sh ite.


  • #27
    later12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,298 ✭✭✭✭later12


    True.


  • #28
    irelandspurs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,085 ✭✭✭irelandspurs


    Just be glad it wasn't his cock touching your arse ,could of got nasty


  • #29
    James T Kirk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,255 ✭✭✭James T Kirk


    Most probably a rogue Viking, OP. No point reporting, he'll be half way to Norway by now.


  • #30
    Jayob10
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,787 ✭✭✭Jayob10


    coming online bragging about how you had your ass grabbed in a gay bar, way to go OP. I bet you are secretly chuffed with yourself :P


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  • #31
    Forest Master
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,466 ✭✭✭Forest Master


    Would OP have complained if it was a woman who grabbed his ass? Yeah, didn't think so. Sounds homophobic to me.


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