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Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026
We should invade England
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I think we need someone on the inside. Someone who can find out if there are any contingencies in place as we wouldn't want any nasty surprises.
I nominate Andy Murray. He's Scottish and makes no secret of it but those English claim him as their favourite son when he's winning. I say we tap him up and profit.
Probably because tennis is a sport in which Britain competes as a nation. Henman was always the British number 1 (except when he wasn't), not English.
Besides, it would be next to impossible for Murray to make a secret of being Scottish, he's as stereotypically Scottish as it gets so it would be rather a feat to be able to hide it
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PseudoFamous wrote: »I suggest Dara O'Briain or yer wan off MTV. Terry Wogan or Graham Norton wouldn't be bad either, the English seem to think of them as their own.jill_valentine wrote: »Not a bad plan. We've already got plenty of our own over there though, waiting for the signal. If we swing by the Mock The Week studio first, we can pick up the presenter and most of the panel too.
Good suggestions and all that but using someone Scottish deflects from us. They'll be so busy trying to find out about the actions of the folk to their north they won't see us sneaking in from the west.LondonIrish90 wrote: »Probably because tennis is a sport in which Britain competes as a nation. Henman was always the British number 1 (except when he wasn't), not English.
Besides, it would be next to impossible for Murray to make a secret of being Scottish, he's as stereotypically Scottish as it gets so it would be rather a feat to be able to hide it
But we want him to be seen as Scottish, it works in our favour. The whole 'adopted son' thing is the perfect cover for an inside coup.
As you can see I've played plenty of Command and Conquer in my day :cool:0 -
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jill_valentine wrote: »Ah, I get you. The old Andy Murray/ Ion Cannon combo. Never fails.
Who's ion cannon???
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sandmanporto wrote: »I dont think swedes would have anything to do with ireland. Irish people aint up to the swede standard me thinks in general.
Damn - they even have bigger mickeys
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=73722376
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Complete and utter rubbish. Drivel. Poppycock. I've better things to be doing with my time than reading your rubbish fantasies. It is completely unrealistic, never going to happen in a million years. I'm as willing to have a laugh at the next man, but you can at least base your plan on some form of reality. It is never, never going to happen. "The French may help too". :mad:
Everything else is spot on. Excellent work. Where do I sign up?
I was ready with a keyboard frenzy until the last line!!
You had me boiling - good work!! Now bring me an Essex girl for me to relieve my frustration upon!!
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I was ready with a keyboard frenzy until the last line!!
You had me boiling - good work!! Now bring me an Essex girl for me to relieve my frustration upon!!
The French haven't won a war since Napoleon realistically! Their military has four readiness states:
Peacetime
Retreat
Surrender
Collaborate
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But be sure to avoid Maidenhead: no-one there's getting any.jill_valentine wrote: »Once we own the gaff, we'll just rename everything to -sex.
Shur feck it, we may as well start as we mean to go on.
Greetings from fair Dublinsex, everyone!
As for Slough: they are literally begging for someone to flatten it. John Betjeman put it well in 1937:Slough
Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.
Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.
And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:
And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.
But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.
It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead
And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.
In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.
Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.Government resting upon the will and universal suffrage of the people has no anchorage except in the people's intelligence.
— Grover Cleveland
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Ray Palmer wrote: »Obviously you grab Wales first and get them back for St Patrick:rolleyes:
Then get the Welsh pack to set up a rolling maul all the way to twickenham 0 -
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