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What's the number 1 thing you've learned from fillums?

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Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Seachmall wrote: »
    You have to shoot the monitor so that they can't use their GUI interface written in Visual Basic to hax your computers.

    So if the police/bad-guy/good-guy still wants access to the records, they can't take the main unit away and attach a keyboard, monitor and mouse?

    Daftness in the programs and treating the viewing public as stupid.

    (And why Visual Basic? What about keyfob autorun applications that run when attached via USB port that search out hard drives and then begin a copying process - that can also be written in any number of other computer languages anyway including Cobal, C, Perl and even Linux!)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    If you're a neurotic woman with low self-esteem, borderline insane, obsessive over one guy or else absolutely hate one guy and prone to outrageous pranks or embarrassing public displays, don't worry, because you will get with the gorgeous guy you love/hated and there's a 95% chance he'll be Matthew McConaughey.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭gent9662


    Greed is good


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Biggins wrote: »
    (And why Visual Basic? What about keyfob autorun applications that run when attached via USB port that search out hard drives and then begin a copying process - that can also be written in any number of other computer languages anyway including Cobal, C, Perl and even Linux!)

    But that's a two man job and they may only have the one computer to work off.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,069 ✭✭✭carlybabe1


    If you're a neurotic woman with low self-esteem, borderline insane, obsessive over one guy or else absolutely hate one guy and prone to outrageous pranks or embarrassing public displays, don't worry, because you will get with the gorgeous guy you love/hated and there's a 95% chance he'll be Matthew McConaughey.

    :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: hate that sh*te, fcuk off you're an embarrassment to the female race

    also I hate when theres a psycho after the woman, que the hero to her rescue, while the 'hero' is gettin 7 shades of sh1te beat out of him she's standin squealing like a stuck pig instead of pickin up the gun/conveniently placed stool/pool cue......sigh :rolleyes::rolleyes:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,618 ✭✭✭Mr Freeze


    Cars are extremely volatile & explode really easily, especially if a single gun shot is fired at one, no matter were it hits, the car could explode, and all cars near it.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Seachmall wrote: »
    But that's a two man job and they may only have the one computer to work off.


    LOL - Yes, thats another one! :pac:
    You and I know in reality, its not.

    Gimme a pc main unit with power and you can access/copy all on it - and thats without taking it away either (which makes the job 100 times easier)!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,300 ✭✭✭HazDanz


    Being on an island for 4 years alone will cause you to become friends with inanimate objects. Such as a Wilson's football.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The evil guys in american films have never heard of Ireland. What I mean is that when the evil guy is telling the good guys his plans, he will have nuclear rockets ready to hit Paris, London, Moscow, Berlin etc. Never Dublin!

    When someone kidnaps your daughter or takes over your life after you've been in a car accident, contact Liam Neeson. He's the only man for the job.

    When someone else kidnaps your daughter and you go on a lengthy mission to save her, you arrive on a beach in speedos, gear the **** up. Even though there's 40 soldiers shooting at you, the only injury you sustain is the one where you're fighting one guy in a chain-male vest :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,497 ✭✭✭omahaid


    When someone kidnaps your daughter or your life, contact Liam Neeson. He's the only man for the job.

    I actually suspect this to be true in real life, just a gut feeling. Well, I'm not sure about when someone kidnaps your life.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭cosmicfart


    When you drive really REALLY fast in a car with the cops chasing you after robbing a bank you will evade them easily without getting a scrape on ur vehicle while the dumbass cops will be crashing into walls doing cartwheels and summer salts and the chopper copper will be nothing more than a spotlight highlighting to onlookers how easy all this is to do.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    The most popular brand of beer in America is "Beer," as in "Gimme a beer mac, it's been a long day!"

    Conventionally attractive people in suits are evil.
    Conventionally attractive people in casual clothes are good.

    If you've been phased out of normal space-time by a sc-fi ray, you'll pass through walls and other people but never the floor.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    * If the main actor wants to find something - you can be sure the cops will have always missed the exact same thing in their previous search.

    * The UFO's will always land in the capitals of all countries - and always on the grass that is always cut.

    * Cars going down steps will never break their axles nor will the steering and brakes be effected and burnt out.

    * The woman in bed that has had sex, wakes up in the morning wearing her underwear - having put them back on again for bed!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    A lot people in foreign countries don't speak other languages they speak english with an accent.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Wetai


    Don't tell them your "Secret Master Plan" ..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    mackg wrote: »
    A lot people in foreign countries don't speak other languages they speak english with an accent.

    Except when they are required to say simple words like "sir" and "thanks" - particularly Hispanic people. They will say "senor" and "gracias" instead, despite being otherwise fluent in English.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,325 ✭✭✭✭Dozen Wicked Words


    You are going to need to cock whatever weapon you have more than once.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭The Mulk


    Biggins wrote: »
    * If the main actor wants to find something - you can be sure the cops will have always missed the exact same thing in their previous search.

    * The UFO's will always land in the capitals of all countries - and always on the grass that is always cut.

    * Cars going down steps will never break their axles nor will the steering and brakes be effected and burnt out.

    * The woman in bed that has had sex, wakes up in the morning wearing her underwear - having put them back on again for bed!

    Bedsheets are L-Shaped. They only cover the man up to his waist but always cover the woman up to her shoulders.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,736 ✭✭✭Irish Guitarist


    If you're going to go on the run cut your hair and dye it to disguise yourself. You'll be guaranteed a perfectly even and professional looking haircut even if you have no previous hairdressing experience. You'll even do a perfect job of the back of your hair, even if you cut your hair in a public toilet with only one mirror to look at.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    * Brazil consists of one town mainly with a ruddy big statue on a hill. Everywhere else is jungle!

    * Ancient Romans can always tell the time accurately even though you NEVER see any ancient time devices anywhere!

    * It never rains when the main star steps up to the green to score with a winning baseball pitch or when a golf player is shooting on the eighteen green for a win!

    * There will ALWAYS be someone out there that can solve your problem in one day that others have been working on for years.
    (Stargate for example!)

    * Autistic people are stupid and can't see through people but always allow themselves to be exposited for others gain!

    :mad:

    * Sufferers of epilepsy always must be stupid and of low slow comprehension/mental ability to pick up and learn things!

    :mad:

    * The Japanese guy is always more stupid and will always bow with every meet-up.

    * Its mostly always the young boy that takes the girl to bed.

    * The ugly dressed girl will always be the one that is the slapper and/or is the most one that score in the end with the men!

    * Lesbians will always at some stage, shave their heads and act butch some time in their life.

    * The spaceships will always be spotless but you will never see anyone actually doing any cleaning!
    ...They don't need laundries either besides having no toilets!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,796 ✭✭✭KungPao


    When a Police Chief tells a Detective he is suspended or off the case, it will make said Detective more determined to solve the crime.

    When brushing ones teeth, it's best to use no toothpaste whatsoever.

    Women wake up with their hair and make up looking perfect. It's almost like they didn't just wake up at all!

    Quarterbacks in American Football are absolute dicks, extremely sexist and likely to be racist. However, after some dramatics and/or emotional speech by a Dean or local repected person, he will turn into a gentle giant loved by all.

    Machine Guns have unlimited ammo.

    All men MUST shave every morning, despite there being a distinct lack of visible stubble.

    If a person is caught out in torrential rain, once he enters a building he will be dry in a suprisingly short time....

    ...It never lightly rains in America, it's either dry or absolutely belting down complete with astonished thunder and lightning!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    * Pens will never run out mid-use.

    * Magazines on shop shelves will always be perfect and never handled, moved previously.
    All previous customers will have put them back in the exact correct position in a lineament.

    * There will always be a taxi around by sticking up your hand in a main street.

    * There will always be a taxi outside every hotel waiting for you to use it.

    * If your driving normally down a street or in a chase, a fire engine or ambulance will never pass by you to attend an emergency somewhere!

    * When vehicles hit a pole, the front glass will break but rarely will a body or object comes flying through the front screen.

    * Petrol from a crashed vehicle always pours out in a direct line and not randomly all over the place - and always in a handy direction so that main star is nearest, so that he/she can then light it.

    * The teen girls/blokes with glasses are always the clever ones but they rarely get the opposite sex in relationships.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    KungPao wrote: »

    ...It never lightly rains in America, it's either dry or absolutely belting down complete with astonished thunder and lightning!

    And yet despite this sunny, dry California weather, roads will always become wet at night....although car tyres will still screech on them. And on gravel come to think of it...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,001 ✭✭✭recylingbin


    Getting home for thanksgiving is often a ludicrously difficult thing to do - often punctuated with japes and/or people of murderous intent.
    Moral of the story - don't go anywhere on thanksgiving.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 274 ✭✭Eoin_Sheehy


    Proper spelling is important


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 155 ✭✭chiloutus


    Cool guys dont look at explosions, they just turn and walk the other way


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,650 ✭✭✭sensibleken


    Bad guys can only shoot people in the shoulder. The one exception to this is elderly mentors.

    Bad guys always have slicked back black hair. The one exception to this is Stephen Segal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,213 ✭✭✭mrsdewinter


    "* Autistic people are stupid and can't see through people but always allow themselves to be exposited for others gain! "

    You forgot the first rule of autism in the movies: An autistic child or adult must be 'gifted' in a set of skills such as higher level maths or prodigious memory.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 542 ✭✭✭crustyjuggler


    Don't ask to use a random pubs toilet on the first day of the Edinburgh festival .


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Oscar the grouch


    Menstruation is an unknown phenomenon in movies. Female movie characters are all immune from it.


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