What's the number 1 thing you've learned from fillums?

CardBordWindow wrote: »

The bad guys have terrible aim with guns!

and the good guys are even worse, hence why the 'one day from retirement guy' bites the dust and the bad guy who apparently cant drive takes off, smoke billowing from tyres and the car fish-tailing all over the globe

The King of Moo wrote: »

And when you ring someone you'll always get the person you're looking for no matter how many people might answer the phone, and they'll always answer within a second or two.

unless of course you're trying to contact them with an ubber important message, like say, he/shes got ten mins to clear the building before the bomb goes off, or that them serial killer is actually the guy she's snuggled up to watchin the movie, or the guy hes planning to meet to get info is in fact the baddie and will blow his face off


Or the one that irritates me like a dose of the clap is boxing match/hand to hand combat thats always at the end of the film...doesnt matter if they both have AK47's, they still have to do it :rolleyes:

here, throw them guns this way, i'll save yis the bother of poundin the face off each other, i'll just shoot ye both in the hole

When redecorating a house, on moving in with partner during montage sequence for example, or in expectation of baby; good-looking women will be required to don their sexy painting dungarees (which everyone owns) with tiny tank-top, tie their hair in a high, loose ponytail, and daub a little splash of paint to the side of their nose.

This is so that, when partner comes into the room he will find her instantly irrestistable and want to make love forthwith, on the floor.

You don't say hello or goodbye when on the phone.

That when you have actually managed to capture James Bond, you should just shoot him in the head on the spot..............no dilly dallying.

If you have a great kid who suddenly turns weird and creeepy - possessed by a demon

if you have a great kid who's really cute and loving, this kid will be brutally murdered very early on causing you to be consumed with revenge.

If you always have a weird oddball kid get him or her an extremely intelligent dog/monkey/seal/ferret. Said animal will turn kid normal

Alternatively send your oddball kids to camp where they will meet fellow oddballs, form a gang, defeat the more popular camp members in a end of summer assault course/quiz/eating competition/death match

If you adopt a creepy kid and people start dying then it is not a kid but a dwarf trying to kill your family and seduce you.

If you see all the kids in your area looking shifty and dangerous and spouting religious nonsence then they will eventually kill everyone over 18.


If you coach a team of oddball kids who suck at a sport, get one really good outside player to join the team and get the others to believe in each other then you will narrowly beat the team that crushed your team at the begining of the movie.

Lesbians are always beautiful and love the taste of cum, and don't wear combat jackets, have a mohican or go around on a bike. Well maybe that's the type of films I like to watch.

Whenever you're getting out of a taxi, give the driver whatever money is in your pocket. It will ALWAYS be the correct fare. :rolleyes:

If you put up your hand and shout "TAXI", one will INSTANTLY come along. :rolleyes:

If going to somewhere in a busy city, you will ALWAYS find a parking spot directly outside the main door. :rolleyes:

A tyrannosaurus rex will shake the earth and make a loud booming sound when it walks, except when it's inside a building and right behind you, in which case it will be impossible for you to hear it or for the other dinosaurs looking in its direction to see it.

problemchimp wrote: »

Put the dog fcukin lotion in the basket!

FYP - It's the hose for you I'm afraid.....

I've learnt that heroes and villains are not very different from each other and that, in another life, they could have been brothers.

I've also learnt the black guy lying in a pool of his own blood was reaching for his wallet, not his gun, as the fat, white, boarderline racist cop originally thought.

Step out onto the road, raise your hand and hey presto a taxi stops immediately.

Biggins wrote: »

If you want to destroy a computer's hard drive - Don't bloody shoot the feckin' monitor.

This one really annoys me. You often see the main actor saying at some stage: "we have to get rid of the computer records" - so they then shoot the monitor!!!
I mean - WHAT THE FCUK!
More often than not - you can still see the man box/unit on the desk or under it!
How stupid does the film/TV makers think we are!

You have to shoot the monitor so that they can't use their GUI interface written in Visual Basic to hax your computers.




TV/Films and computers don't go together very well.