So, apparently I'm a Captain now...

Dangerous Man · 04-08-2011 03:47PM

They probably won't care. Actually no - they definitely won't care. Just as an aside I used to call my friend at work and when I got the reception I pretended to be his medical doctor.

'Good morning - may I speak to ________?'
'Who may I say is calling?'
'It's Dr Dangerous Man.'
'One moment Mr Man.'
'That's Dr Man.'
'What?'
'DOCTOR Man.'
'Oh, pardon me - transferring you now... ehm, you don't really sound like a doctor though.'
'_____ has cancer and it's your fault you bitch.' Click.

Fran1985 · 04-08-2011 03:49PM

I used to work for BoI. About a year after leaving i applied for a laser card. The form was sent back to the branch i used to work in and someone in there copped it was me. The name across the front reads

"Fran The Dope 1985" (except where i've just written 1985, it has my real surname on the card)

Thankfully its not caused to many problems because very few people check the name anymore, but occasionally when i call into a branch to lodge money using the card, it becomes a talking point among staff.

Chris P. Bacon · 04-08-2011 03:49PM

Alter-Ego wrote: »

UPC still think I'm a Doctor for some reason despite me telling them I'm only a Mr.

UPC have me down as a rev too.

ColeTrain · 04-08-2011 03:57PM

Man you should buy a captains uniform, the smart looking ones complete with the works - I'm talking gold pocket watches, a pipe sticking out of your mouth...the lot!

Everytime you go into bank, don your Captain's uniform. If you are in a queue then keep looking at your pocket watch..Fu*k it if you want to be a Captain then you'll have to act like one..

toodleytoo · 04-08-2011 04:26PM

Banks have awful luck with you Captain UglyBolloxface

FTGFOP · 04-08-2011 04:33PM

ColeTrain wrote: »

Man you should buy a captains uniform, the smart looking ones complete with the works - I'm talking gold pocket watches, a pipe sticking out of your mouth...the lot!

Everytime you go into bank, don your Captain's uniform. If you are in a queue then keep looking at your pocket watch..Fu*k it if you want to be a Captain then you'll have to act like one..

Just to add to this. Carry a big platter of fish fingers with you at all times as well. You know, for the children.

Manic Moran · 04-08-2011 04:47PM

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I'm confused. Are you a reverend or a captain?

No reason he can't be both. For example, a US Army chaplain.

NTM

orchidsrpretty · 04-08-2011 04:58PM

I have a credit card that says Doctor on it thought it sounded good with my name. I don't like to use it in shops though, on the off chance that someone has a heart attack while I am paying for my goods and the cashier notices the "doctor"on my card. It would be a little awkard to explain:p

Larianne · 04-08-2011 05:00PM

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I have a credit card that says Doctor on it thought it sounded good with my name. I don't like to use it in shops though, on the off chance that someone has a heart attack while I am paying for my goods and the cashier notices the "doctor"on my card. It would be a little awkard to explain:p

You could just say you're a doctor of English.

TheDriver · 04-08-2011 05:04PM

more like a Doctor of Applied Messing
If shes good looking, you could say (in a deep voice) your the Doctor of Love.......

Sarn · 04-08-2011 05:12PM

There was a Dr. Love in my old department. Worked well when buying gifts for the OH.

Lumbo · 04-08-2011 05:18PM

My bank card still has Master Ugly Bolloxface (also made up name) on it.

Girl in the bank said she'd change it a few years back. Told her not to dare or I'd close my account.

And my other half thinks I'm immature

Lapin · 04-08-2011 06:17PM

As captain of my local pub pool team I'm very pissed off with the Ulster Bank for dishing out captaincies to all and sundry.

We real captains earned our titles through blood sweat and bribes.

We must take to the streets in protest and shout down with this sort of thing. :mad:

Captain Lapin.

GTE · 04-08-2011 07:03PM

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Have you ordered your Ordination Credential thingy? Also, have you actually used your ordination in real life? I'm thinking about signing up...

Never ordered anything and I haven't. It didnt bring my car insurance quotes down

discus · 04-08-2011 07:35PM

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

Anyother interesting ranks or titles out there? Surely we have a Baron or two!

Norwayviking · 04-08-2011 07:46PM

discus wrote: »

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

Anyother interesting ranks or titles out there? Surely we have a Baron or two!

This is the man you are looking for,lol;)

http://www.heavenlyswords.com/images/P/captain_america-origina.jpg

Capt'n Midnight · 04-08-2011 11:36PM

charlemont wrote: »

Yeah, I like the idea of Lord Charlemont, It would be splendid indeed.;)
I could even put on an Anglo accent to go with it.

or an Anglo account ?

Capt'n Midnight · 04-08-2011 11:38PM

Manic Moran wrote: »

No reason he can't be both. For example, a US Army chaplain.

NTM

or a US Army chaplain who has his own boat and is taking flying lessons.

AnnyHallsal · 04-08-2011 11:48PM

Hmm. I am a doctor (of sorts) and Ulster Bank wouldn't list me as such unless I presented a copy of my doctorate. Double standards for cap'ains it seems :mad:

Capt'n Midnight · 04-08-2011 11:56PM

discus wrote: »

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

:eek:

:pac:

Monty. · 05-08-2011 12:01AM

Does this mean you can tell the birds you have fishy fingers ?

cap.jpg?w=490

Manic Moran · 05-08-2011 01:20AM

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

or a US Army chaplain who has his own boat and is taking flying lessons.

There probably is one out there.

NTM

Saila · 05-08-2011 01:27AM

Alter-Ego wrote: »

UPC still think I'm a Doctor for some reason despite me telling them I'm only a Mr.

so your a consultant

Saila · 05-08-2011 01:28AM

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

Hmm. I am a doctor (of sorts) and Ulster Bank wouldn't list me as such unless I presented a copy of my doctorate. Double standards for cap'ains it seems :mad:

homeopathy doesnt count

Jesus Wept · 05-08-2011 01:36AM

Had condoms delivered to HRH <my name> previously.

Capt'n Midnight · 05-08-2011 08:34AM

Is the honourific Mstr used anymore ?

[obvious joke is obvious]

So, apparently I'm a Captain now...

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