So, apparently I'm a Captain now...

UglyBolloxFace

A few weeks ago I applied to open a bank account online with Ulster Bank. Just to see what would happen, I put my title as 'Captain'. (It was either that or Reverend).

Turns out they have now sent the letter to my Irish address as Captain Ugly Bolloxface (not actual name - changed to protect the innocent). Now my question is - will I have to show proof of my Captaincy or will they not care?

It'll be interesting going into that branch when I get back....

Biggins

You could have ordained yourself either lol
(Called yourself a 'Minister')

* http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination

amacca

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

A few weeks ago I applied to open a bank account online with Ulster Bank. Just to see what would happen, I put my title as 'Captain'. (It was either that or Reverend).

Turns out they have now sent the letter to my Irish address as Captain Ugly Bolloxface (not actual name - changed to protect the innocent). Now my question is - will I have to show proof of my Captaincy or will they not care?

It'll be interesting going into that branch when I get back....

I've been a doctor for the past five years....postman talks....get the neighbours talkin:pac::pac::pac::pac:

pappyodaniel

That's brilliant, I'm going to do something similar

CardBordWindow

I like the sounds of that! I think I may open up an account there too!:D

UglyBolloxFace

Biggins wrote: »

You could have ordained yourself either lol
(Called yourself a 'Minister')

* http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=ordination

Haha that's brilliant! Interesting. Does any have a tl;dr summary of the aspects of this ordination? I might go ahead and do it, just to be able to call myself a Minister.

Alter-Ego

UPC still think I'm a Doctor for some reason despite me telling them I'm only a Mr.

mackg

So the banks don't care if the info you use to open an account is real? i'm sure they know what they are doing anyway.

Bonus points if you put your occupation as pirate.

dilallio

Alter-Ego wrote: »

UPC still think I'm a Doctor for some reason despite me telling them I'm only a Mr.

The fec*ers are still calling me Mrs despite calling them 3 times.


________________________________________________________
Lingerie & Stillettos or sale - Would suit large 'lady' or small man

GTE

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Haha that's brilliant! Interesting. Does any have a tl;dr summary of the aspects of this ordination? I might go ahead and do it, just to be able to call myself a Minister.

Very easy. I have been a Universal Life Church Minister for about 5 years now.

Married many folk to inanimate objects. They allow that, someone was married to a Gibson guitar using one of my fellow Ministers.

I best send off for the certificate so I can prove it =D

stimpson

As kids we used to nick the credit card application forms from the bank, fill them in and send them off. They sent back forms for signing addressed to Elvis Presley, Pope John Paul II and Mr **** Off. Was tempted to commit some light credit card fraud in the name of the King or his holiness. Never had the balls to follow it through though.

Akrasia

dilallio wrote: »

The fec*ers are still calling me Mrs despite calling them 3 times.


________________________________________________________
Lingerie & Stillettos or sale - Would suit large 'lady' or small man

They'll probably require that you send them a certified photograph of yer knob before they'll change your details "for Data protection"

Temptamperu

*jumps up on table

Oh Captain, my Captain!

Killer Pigeon

I'm confused. Are you a reverend or a captain?

Son Of A Vidic

My brother did something similar a few years ago OP. Except he added the title 'Count'. So letters would arrive addressed to a Count Brian. I eventually pointed out to the postman that my brother wasn't a Count, but he was an actual Kunt.

charlemont

CardBordWindow wrote: »

I like the sounds of that! I think I may open up an account there too!:D

Yeah, I like the idea of Lord Charlemont, It would be splendid indeed.;)
I could even put on an Anglo accent to go with it.

UglyBolloxFace

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I'm confused. Are you a reverend or a captain?

I'm a Captain. Captain Cunt, to you and others.

GTE

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

I'm a Captain. Captain Cunt, to you and others.

I wouldnt anger that kinda pigeon! I would hate to have to do another funeral.

UglyBolloxFace

bbk wrote: »

I wouldnt anger that kinda pigeon! I would hate to have to do another funeral.

Have you ordered your Ordination Credential thingy? Also, have you actually used your ordination in real life? I'm thinking about signing up...

Larianne

Are you a sea captain or an air captain?

thecornflake

I put my name down on a free catalogue service as "Shit stink Pat Kenny"

Oh good times, i'd say the postman gets a great laugh.

Norwayviking

The same thing happened to me in BOI,but they returned it with mr instead,and i am a Captain!!!
Not that it matters a hole lot,lol.

UglyBolloxFace

Larianne wrote: »

Are you a sea captain or an air captain?

I don't know actually - the option was just 'Captain'. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to become the world's first Air-Sea Captain, Airse Captain if you will.

Smcgie

I change my work email address to professor doctor (prof.dr) to email departments in England for the LOL!

Instant replies full of big spellchecked words and excellent grammar and punctuation. It's amazing how people respond to a title quicker

AgileMyth

Yeah you seem like an arse captain to me;)

UglyBolloxFace

AgileMyth wrote: »

Yeah you seem like an arse captain to me;)

http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?2,file=33874,filename=1097290-i_see_what_you_did_there_super.jpg

mconigol

Just McLovin is obviously your next step here op...

Larianne

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

I don't know actually - the option was just 'Captain'. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to become the world's first Air-Sea Captain, Airse Captain if you will.

You should see if you can get upgraded on flights, or book a table at restaurants easier with your title of Airse Captain.

Norwayviking

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

I don't know actually - the option was just 'Captain'. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to become the world's first Air-Sea Captain, Airse Captain if you will.

You are to late,i know one allready;)

Tabnabs

Well known fact that once you walk down the gangplank and step ashore, you become a Mr. again. Watch out for that one.

Norwayviking

Tabnabs wrote: »

Well known fact that once you walk down the gangplank and step ashore, you become a Mr. again. Watch out for that one.

Not completely true,depends on if you are in the navy or the merchant fleet.
And if you are in the merchant fleet,you are in command until you are relived, and until you enter the doorstep at home;)
But according to your title in the seamansbook and your license you are still a Captain,or a master mariner if you like.

Dangerous Man

They probably won't care. Actually no - they definitely won't care. Just as an aside I used to call my friend at work and when I got the reception I pretended to be his medical doctor.

'Good morning - may I speak to ________?'
'Who may I say is calling?'
'It's Dr Dangerous Man.'
'One moment Mr Man.'
'That's Dr Man.'
'What?'
'DOCTOR Man.'
'Oh, pardon me - transferring you now... ehm, you don't really sound like a doctor though.'
'_____ has cancer and it's your fault you bitch.' Click.

Fran1985

I used to work for BoI. About a year after leaving i applied for a laser card. The form was sent back to the branch i used to work in and someone in there copped it was me. The name across the front reads

"Fran The Dope 1985" (except where i've just written 1985, it has my real surname on the card)

Thankfully its not caused to many problems because very few people check the name anymore, but occasionally when i call into a branch to lodge money using the card, it becomes a talking point among staff.

Chris P. Bacon

Alter-Ego wrote: »

UPC still think I'm a Doctor for some reason despite me telling them I'm only a Mr.

UPC have me down as a rev too.

ColeTrain

Man you should buy a captains uniform, the smart looking ones complete with the works - I'm talking gold pocket watches, a pipe sticking out of your mouth...the lot!

Everytime you go into bank, don your Captain's uniform. If you are in a queue then keep looking at your pocket watch..Fu*k it if you want to be a Captain then you'll have to act like one..

toodleytoo

Banks have awful luck with you Captain UglyBolloxface

FTGFOP

ColeTrain wrote: »

Man you should buy a captains uniform, the smart looking ones complete with the works - I'm talking gold pocket watches, a pipe sticking out of your mouth...the lot!

Everytime you go into bank, don your Captain's uniform. If you are in a queue then keep looking at your pocket watch..Fu*k it if you want to be a Captain then you'll have to act like one..

Just to add to this. Carry a big platter of fish fingers with you at all times as well. You know, for the children.

Manic Moran

Killer Pigeon wrote: »

I'm confused. Are you a reverend or a captain?

No reason he can't be both. For example, a US Army chaplain.

NTM

orchidsrpretty

I have a credit card that says Doctor on it thought it sounded good with my name. I don't like to use it in shops though, on the off chance that someone has a heart attack while I am paying for my goods and the cashier notices the "doctor"on my card. It would be a little awkard to explain:p

Larianne

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I have a credit card that says Doctor on it thought it sounded good with my name. I don't like to use it in shops though, on the off chance that someone has a heart attack while I am paying for my goods and the cashier notices the "doctor"on my card. It would be a little awkard to explain:p

You could just say you're a doctor of English.

TheDriver

more like a Doctor of Applied Messing
If shes good looking, you could say (in a deep voice) your the Doctor of Love.......

Sarn

There was a Dr. Love in my old department. Worked well when buying gifts for the OH.

Lumbo

My bank card still has Master Ugly Bolloxface (also made up name) on it.

Girl in the bank said she'd change it a few years back. Told her not to dare or I'd close my account.

And my other half thinks I'm immature

Lapin

As captain of my local pub pool team I'm very pissed off with the Ulster Bank for dishing out captaincies to all and sundry.

We real captains earned our titles through blood sweat and bribes.

We must take to the streets in protest and shout down with this sort of thing. :mad:



Captain Lapin.

GTE

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Have you ordered your Ordination Credential thingy? Also, have you actually used your ordination in real life? I'm thinking about signing up...

Never ordered anything and I haven't. It didnt bring my car insurance quotes down

discus

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

Anyother interesting ranks or titles out there? Surely we have a Baron or two!

Norwayviking

discus wrote: »

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

Anyother interesting ranks or titles out there? Surely we have a Baron or two!

This is the man you are looking for,lol;)

http://www.heavenlyswords.com/images/P/captain_america-origina.jpg

Capt'n Midnight

charlemont wrote: »

Yeah, I like the idea of Lord Charlemont, It would be splendid indeed.;)
I could even put on an Anglo accent to go with it.

or an Anglo account ?

Capt'n Midnight

Manic Moran wrote: »

No reason he can't be both. For example, a US Army chaplain.

NTM

or a US Army chaplain who has his own boat and is taking flying lessons.

AnnyHallsal

Hmm. I am a doctor (of sorts) and Ulster Bank wouldn't list me as such unless I presented a copy of my doctorate. Double standards for cap'ains it seems :mad:

Capt'n Midnight

discus wrote: »

So it's decided, the only Captain on boards is Manic_Moran.

:eek:

















:pac: