Awkward moments with your parents...

Alter-Ego · 04-08-2011 03:37PM

Xivilai wrote: »

And seriously, get a key for your door!

I've always had a problem with locking the door because they know exactly what you're at when you lock the door.

Blazer · 04-08-2011 03:47PM

At home one night and the parents returned from bingo.
I'm in the sitting rooom smoking and reading a book so mother arrives in and starts channel flicking.
Cue the playboy channel or other soft porn channel where some bloke is giving this hot blonde oral sex who's moaning away ...
The mother roars out for the old fella to come in..he arrives in and then she says "see..that's how you do it" :eek:

General Zod · 04-08-2011 04:30PM

BEASTERLY wrote: »

This is probably why im not home very often now.

It was a good few years back, the mother stated that dinner would be ready in 15 minutes. I thought ''grand, enough time for a sneaky pull so''. Went into my room, got some porn up on the PC, pants totally off, headphones in full blast! Finished off, cleaned up stood up to see my dinner on the table behind me to my right(obviosly was alot quicker than 15mins). I hadnt heard her enter because of the headphones:(

Everytime i think about it I actually want to cry...

there's about 100 variations of this story and none of them are true. Your ma is not going to just leave your dinner beside you while you're dragging yourself around the room.

Why must you turn After Hours into a house of lies?

Guill · 04-08-2011 04:45PM

General Zod wrote: »

there's about 100 variations of this story and none of them are true. Your ma is not going to just leave your dinner beside you while you're dragging yourself around the room.

Why must you turn After Hours into a house of lies?

Lies make baby Jeasus cry.

spankysue · 04-08-2011 04:46PM

My mother found out about a new cleaning product a few years ago and was telling everyone how great this new "Clit Bang" was.......

Fran1985 · 04-08-2011 04:56PM

Watching i love you,man with my mam and dad on Christmas day. Next of all they go to the shed, you know the one with the "w***ing station". no one knew what to do, eventually my mam stood up and decided she needed to "tidy" another room after the Christmas dinner mess so promptly left, leaving me and my dad. I decided i needed a beer, very awkward

booboo88 · 04-08-2011 05:00PM

sitting in watching tv and ads for contraception or tampax comes on ohh the shame

RuailleBuaille · 04-08-2011 05:30PM

I made my family watch Bad Santa on Christmas night one year. Didn't really think it through.

BEASTERLY · 04-08-2011 05:36PM

General Zod wrote: »

there's about 100 variations of this story and none of them are true. Your ma is not going to just leave your dinner beside you while you're dragging yourself around the room.

Why must you turn After Hours into a house of lies?

Right, just because you heard it begore means its not true? Fair enough, belive what you like?

_mocha_ · 04-08-2011 05:41PM

When I was small I ran into a room full of visitors and asked my mom in front of everyone what a "va-guy-na" was. Cringe.

Cunning Stunt · 04-08-2011 05:51PM

Bought my younger brother and sister a new computer game - one the advice of a friend (if you're reading this, I still havn't fogiven you!). Anyway the game was Southpark (I had never watched it at that time) and my younger brother and sister were 7 and 5.
Queue myself and my parents and my younger brother and sis in the sitting room. We stick on the game - first screen The Chef charactetr says ''choose your level -- foreplay / hot and heavy etc. etc.) Of course the kids choose ''hot and heavy'' and Chef says ''hey - going all the way huh?''.
Needless to say, the glances among the adults were priceless.
Next screen ''choose your category -- gay cowboys / lesbian romps etc.''
Holy jaysus I will never forget it.
After a talk with my mother, I ended up exchanging the game for ''Earthworm Jim'' :rolleyes:

meoklmrk91 · 04-08-2011 06:13PM

When I was about fourteen I was in that car with my dad, I was a bit moody as it was that time of the month, he asked me why I was ''off form'' and if I needed painkillers. I could have died.

And when brokeback mountain came out my mother thought it was a western and wanted my father to take her. He didn't really answer her and walked away leaving me and my sister to explain to her what it was about so she wouldn't be thick with my dad. Then years later when she finally saw it on tv she proceeded to ask me about the sex scene by saying ''do they take turns or what'' o_o

Gloomtastic! · 04-08-2011 06:34PM

Guill wrote: »

Picture this:

Christmas dinner and everyone has had a few glasses of wine, there is a good athmosphere as we all sit down to eat.

Dad who has had a few more glasses of wine starts to trawl the depths of his usless information bank to educate us.

"You know in some parts of Canada they eat beaver for Christmas"

<light sniggers all round>

"Have any of ye eaten Beaver before?"

<Noise of people spulttering to hold in laughing>

"I'd say beaver tastes lovely"

The sister erupts into laughter, everyone else just about manages to hold it in.

"Guill, have you ever eaten Beaver?"

At this point i lost it and burst into one of those laughs that you actually can't breath during and. I look up and everyone is is at the same, which just makes me laugh harder and longer, dad continues though:

"What is wrong with ye?"
"All i asked was did ye eat Beaver before"
"Whats wrong with eating beaver?"
"I don't know what is wrong with ye"

He heads off to the kitchen to get more wine all the time mummbling about beaver.

When he left the laughter actaully got worse.

Good times.

That post took about 5 minutes to finish I was laughing so much. Brilliant story, brilliant!!

Rocket19 · 04-08-2011 06:59PM

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

also, anyone else remember the sense of complete panic when you heard "lets talk about sex baby" come on the radio? oh the squirming

Ughh that reminds me.
When I was younger, my parents obviously thought it would be a good idea to teach me all about sex.
However, seemingly it wasn't in their nature to actually TALK about it, so their solution was to buy me this sex book; "Let's talk about sex"

. This was a book aimed at kids btw, full of cartoon naked people having sex, sperm with smiling faces on and other disturbing things.

Anyway, I was only like ELEVEN when my Mum produced this, and I was absolutely morto. I waited until she went downstairs, and I promptly stuck it back in her room.
Went out to play, came home later, and it was UNDER MY PILLOW. I put it right back.
This cat and mouse game continued for a good while, until I couldn't stand it anymore, so I hid it at the back of the hot cuboard. At the time, I was genuinely distressed by this situation lol.

Azureus · 04-08-2011 07:00PM

Two that I can think of...

First was when I got my first period-woke up,freaked out cuz I was young and it had never been explained to me and ran downstairs. I was really close to my dad so when my mam asked me what was wrong I just stood there thinking I was sick or something and insisting that dad come talk to me. Poor thing took one look at my bed and legged it-and couldnt look at me for the day

Second was when I was about 17 having to explain to my mam how gay men had sex. Obviously nobody had propositioned her about the back door before (thank god!) so she hadnt a clue it could be ahem done that way! Very funny, but also mortifying when curiosuity got the better of her and she KEPT asking questions!

04-08-2011 07:41PM

I asked my dad what a prostitute was >.<

cocoshovel · 04-08-2011 08:36PM

about 3am one night and my Dad was coming back from some night out to do with work or the golf club, I dunno what it was but anyway, he was pissed.

I awaken to the sound of my bedroom door open, me dad walking in, lifting the covers of my bed and crawling in hugging up beside me completely naked....

"Dad seriously, GET THE F**K OUT OF MY BED".
"Whaaa,, ohh yeaah..... right"
................
..............
"Now!" *push*

I know he didn't mean it but if felt extremely awkward. He probably didn't even remember doing it in the morning.

Kiera · 04-08-2011 08:37PM

cocoshovel wrote: »

about 3am one night and my Dad was coming back from some night out to do with work or the golf club, I dunno what it was but anyway, he was pissed.

I awaken to the sound of my bedroom door open, me dad walking in, lifting the covers of my bed and crawling in hugging up beside me completely naked....

"Dad seriously, GET THE F**K OUT OF MY BED".
"Whaaa,, ohh yeaah..... right"
................
..............
"Now!" *push*

I know he didn't mean it but if felt extremely awkward. He probably didn't even remember doing it in the morning.

Are you a girl?

cocoshovel · 04-08-2011 08:41PM

Kiera wrote: »

Are you a girl?

No.

saa · 04-08-2011 08:41PM

Currently 20;
16:
-Oh gosh I think I actually have an anxiety problem

-Just don't be so stressed so

14:
-Can I get a pack of razors?

-For what?

Thanks Da!

Bonus: living in my first flat
Da: Is your boyfriend living here?
-Noooo
Da: *points* then why are there boxers on the clothes horse

Whoops!

Kiera · 04-08-2011 08:43PM

cocoshovel wrote: »

No.

Would be a lot worse if you were.

wild_cat · 04-08-2011 08:44PM

saa wrote: »

Currently 20;
16:
-Oh gosh I think I actually have an anxiety problem

-Just don't be so stressed so
!

That made me laugh. Had the same problem myself... Mentioned it and the mother answered with "every one worries, you need to trust yourself".

Turned out I worried it right into a mental health issue. Thanks Ma!! :pac:

It makes me laugh now.

Did anyone else see that bit of graffiti on the Enniscorthy to New Ross road a few years back? It had lets play leap from wrote beside a very accurate and quite well drawn giant vagina in between a pair of frogs legs. It was on old Mill just outside Enniscorthy town?

Anyway driving along one day with my Mum and out of no where she says... "Lets play leap frog" and I look over and there she is staring at the mill. She had spotted the writing before the image and shut up fairly fast when she seen it. We couldn't have drove past it fast enough.

Joey the lips · 04-08-2011 08:44PM

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

Monty Burnz · 04-08-2011 08:49PM

Elba101 wrote: »

Going to get your first bra with your mam was pretty embarrassing. It was a horrible beige one to.

You thought that was embarrassing? At least you were a girl...

tallaghtmick · 04-08-2011 08:50PM

Joey the lips wrote: »

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

A slit right down the middle.......now I can see why you called yourself joey the lips;)

Monty Burnz · 04-08-2011 08:57PM

Solnskaya wrote: »

my mams very fond of her cat, loves them she does. Sadly, and more sadly at family get togethers involving brothers in law and suchlike, she insists, and is oblivious to the stifled hilarity, on calling the mangy ginger wheezebox "my pussy". The amount of willpower, not to mention the sheer danger, involved in stifling a laugh when she walks into the room carrying a saucer of milk and loudly asks whether "anybody has seen my pussy??".

I'm not joking, I've got the exact same situation, only - and this is weird on several levels - it's my Dad who is always banging on about his pussy.

Monty Burnz · 04-08-2011 09:01PM

Azureus wrote: »

Second was when I was about 17 having to explain to my mam how gay men had sex. Obviously nobody had propositioned her about the back door before (thank god!) so she hadnt a clue it could be ahem done that way! Very funny, but also mortifying when curiosuity got the better of her

...OMG OMG OMG...
*covers one eye and keeps reading*

Azureus wrote: »

and she KEPT asking questions!

That could have ended a lot worse :eek:

Temptamperu · 04-08-2011 09:06PM

Joey the lips wrote: »

When i was 10 or so i got tyson caught in my zip. Not to bad but the more i pulled the tighter it got. My dad arrived at the bathroom door and head me in agony. he got a razor and cut around the zip and freed it from the bottom.

Then there was the realisation that my mom and sister were looking on.

Not so bad.... a little embarresing

move forward years later sitting watching " theres something about mary " with the new girl when my sister turns around and says "jasus joe remember that happened to you. My da and ma burst out laughing and left the sitting room

Its not easy......

You call your cóck Tyson?

merengueca · 04-08-2011 09:14PM

Last summer sat in the garden with my Dad and brother having a cup of tea, bit of chit chat about the animals (cats, dogs, ducks etc) Dad was giving out a bit a Mum wanting more and told us she wanted a big red cock as well.
Nothing could be said we just all got up and walked off in different directions.:o

Also years ago sat talking about plans for the Christmas dinner with my Mum, sister and cousin - Dad was haging around the kitchen doing something else. Mum told that she wanted the table to look 'fancy' so she was going to put dildos on every place setting.... she meant doilies!
Dad had to run away (literally), I spat tea out across the place and there was definately a race for the toilet!

TheFullDuck · 04-08-2011 09:26PM

tallaghtmick wrote: »

So you two where ok with the giant mickey poking through the glory hole:eek:

The mood was lightened when he got stabbed through the ear from said glory hole :P

Awkward moments with your parents...

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