What is the most outrageous piece of Bs*e you have ever heard?

Dodd · 01-08-2011 12:52AM

Porn/**** makes you go blind.

*reading screen with magnifying glass*:)

ToddyDoody · 01-08-2011 12:54AM

That the money was just resting in the account.

Buceph · 01-08-2011 12:58AM

MLH1 wrote: »

once meet a guy who claimed he could say mass from his time living with students priests in college.!!! yeah right!!

That's not that hard. I would probably have been able to recite the words when I was 15 and in a Christian Brother's school. The actual ritual part that makes it a mass is only a few minutes work. The rest of the mass is a bunch of codology where the priest preaches, but not actually vital to the mass.

drunkmonkey · 01-08-2011 01:06AM

Richie Kavanagh is Dead!!

I took it to be gospel, Heard it here in after hours and it was the greatest piece of bul/**** I ever heard made me look like a right ape and I lost €50 when someone decided to bet he was still alive.

AgileMyth · 01-08-2011 01:13AM

GSI wrote: »

that ireland won the world cup...twice:rolleyes:

Possibly not bullshit. They might have been talking about the Quidditch.

clikityclak · 01-08-2011 01:18AM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Richie Kavanagh is Dead!!

I took it to be gospel, Heard it here in after hours and it was the greatest piece of bul/**** I ever heard made me look like a right ape and I lost €50 when someone decided to bet he was still alive.

Sorry about that:o

Few months ago was talking to an OUTRAGEOUS bull****ter at a house party. She picked a flower in the garden she was looking to buy, the flower stayed alive for 8 months on the dash of the car and she knew then the house was for her.. G'way outta that!

Solnskaya · 01-08-2011 01:25AM

study hard, get a good pensionable job. That and "Diana wasn't murdered", "LHO shot JFK", "I've a puppy and some sweets in my van", "of course your bum doesn't look big in them", "I love you too dear".etc etc.

Heckler · 01-08-2011 01:34AM

Years back knew a guy to meet out socially, kinda of a friend of a friend, total bull****ter.

Best I heard from him was that his brother joined the SAS but to finish selection you had to fight 10 SAS men in a circle around you and that it was a fight to the death. So to be recruited one man had to kill ten others.

And this from a 25 year old seemingly sane man and told in all earnest.

I nodded sagely then went for a smoke and wet myself laughing.

Toots · 01-08-2011 01:44AM

A girl I went to school with was the most flagrant bullsh!tter ever, I'd say there wasn't a single true word to come out of her mouth, and bizzarely she seemed to think everyone believed the crap she was coming out with. When I was in 4th year we had free class in the library, I was sitting next to a friend of mine and a note was passed up to us from this girl and it read 'So proud of myself girls, I'll be off heroin for a year this friday!!' Maybe by heroin she meant skittles or something?

Anita Blow · 01-08-2011 01:48AM

This thread had potential to be funny but was ruined by poor attempts at current affair/politics jokes

Riddle101 · 01-08-2011 02:01AM

Friend of mine

Told me and my friends once that he had a threesome with these girls he brought back to his house. He heard his mother coming up the stairs so the girls climbed out of his bedroom window and down a ladder cause he didn't want her to come in on them. Till this day he still tries to convince us that it actually happened whenever we rip the p"ss out of him about it. We even made up a song about it:D.

Micky Dolenz · 01-08-2011 02:04AM

Mod AH, you'll get laid a lot.

Lying Bastards.

tan11ie · 01-08-2011 02:05AM

I LOVE YOU :rolleyes:

SuperInfinity · 01-08-2011 02:07AM

That humans are superior to all other animals. :rolleyes:

LighterGuy · 01-08-2011 02:10AM

I once knew a girl who claimed to be adopted and who also said she had cancer. Both were lies.

Looking back she clearly had issues. Not saying shes a total nutjob. But you cant make those lies and still have all your marbles.

Micky Dolenz · 01-08-2011 02:11AM

tan11ie wrote: »

I LOVE YOU :rolleyes:

I love you too.

one good lie deserves another :P

Columbia · 01-08-2011 02:18AM

You should hear some of the stuff one of my friends comes out with.

The one which really sticks out for me is the time he told me all about how he's been a lifelong United fan, been to loads of important Champions League matches, knows Old Trafford like the back of his hand, was at Ryan Giggs' first match and Eric Cantona's last. Thing he doesn't seem to know is that I distinctly remember back in the early days of the friendship (5 years ago) he declared his hatred for football and had no idea who Steven Gerrard was.

edit: oh yeah, I've also posted about this girl several times on boards, but I had an ex-girlfriend who used to "get attacked" or be involved in near-fatal accidents every single time we fell out. It was all to get pity from me, and to my great shame it worked for several months.

charlemont · 01-08-2011 02:23AM

I lived in a bedsit for about 9 months and there was a guy on the 1st floor who is worthy of a thread of his own, Micheal..

I had bleached my hair and was on the way home and I saw the great big lump of bullsh*t approach me, Shocked looking he says "Did she (landlady) see my hair yet ?, And then he came out with the classic " I know a woman who bleached her hair and she went out in the rain but it wasnt any normal rain, It was acid rain and her hair turned blue". Fu*kin' eejit.

tan11ie · 01-08-2011 02:24AM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

I love you too.

one good lie deserves another :P

Why thanks.....gladly i've learned my lesson

TerrorFirmer · 01-08-2011 02:28AM

i work with a guy that is a compulsive liar. it's baffling to hear the things that come out of this mouth that are so obviously fake even to the dimmest of listeners. as far as im concerned its a disease.

Micky Dolenz · 01-08-2011 02:29AM

tan11ie wrote: »

Why thanks.....gladly i've learned my lesson

until the next time, heh :P

LighterGuy · 01-08-2011 02:31AM

Columbia wrote: »

edit: oh yeah, I've also posted about this girl several times on boards, but I had an ex-girlfriend who used to "get attacked" or be involved in near-fatal accidents every single time we fell out. It was all to get pity from me, and to my great shame it worked for several months.

Ah, for what its worth. We've all been there. Foolingly believing someones sympathy stories. I chalked mine up to being an inexperienced idiot whenever i believed when i was younger :pac: ... now, i take most things that sound iffy with a hefty pinch of salt.

tan11ie · 01-08-2011 02:31AM

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

i work with a guy that is a compulsive liar. it's baffling to hear the things that come out of this mouth that are so obviously fake even to the dimmest of listeners. as far as im concerned its a disease.

Oh i went to school with one of these, she told us all her mother was the image of Pamela Anderson!!! Christ....she was far from it!

tan11ie · 01-08-2011 02:32AM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

until the next time, heh :P

Lol shut up I'm older and wiser now;)

Tayla · 01-08-2011 02:38AM

Columbia wrote: »

The one which really sticks out for me is the time he told me all about how he's been a lifelong United fan, been to loads of important Champions League matches, knows Old Trafford like the back of his hand, was at Ryan Giggs' first match and Eric Cantona's last. Thing he doesn't seem to know is that I distinctly remember back in the early days of the friendship (5 years ago) he declared his hatred for football and had no idea who Steven Gerrard was.

.

Me and my OH were at his brothers house last year and he'd just got sky sports, my OH said his bro always hated sports and I asked him did he support a football team and he said he never watched football but if he had to he'd support United........cue a couple of months later, all his kids are in man united kits, he's talking about football constantly on facebook, joining united forever groups and updating his status during the champions league final about how he was in "so much pain watching them get beaten"

Come on you don't become a die hard supporter in only a few months:mad:

mconigol · 01-08-2011 08:11AM

Tayla wrote: »

Me and my OH were at his brothers house last year and he'd just got sky sports, my OH said his bro always hated sports and I asked him did he support a football team and he said he never watched football but if he had to he'd support United........cue a couple of months later, all his kids are in man united kits, he's talking about football constantly on facebook, joining united forever groups and updating his status during the champions league final about how he was in "so much pain watching them get beaten"

Come on you don't become a die hard supporter in only a few months:mad:

He was probably just embarrassed to admit that he was yet another sheepish united fan. Can't blame him really.

Son Of A Vidic · 01-08-2011 08:28AM

Veles wrote: »

Frankie Boyle had an interesting comment about that scenario :P

But we don't want to go there.:D

Son Of A Vidic · 01-08-2011 08:32AM

The biggest piece of bullshít I ever encountered, was returning to Ireland and having this Celtic Tiger crap shoved down my throat. I was nearly beheaded for pointing out that a paper tiger based on cheap available credit, is not real or sustainable.

Richard Hillman · 01-08-2011 08:35AM

the daily star. my aul lad brought it home the other day and I would say half of it was made up.

skregs · 01-08-2011 09:02AM

That lad, two posts above, trying to pretend he was smart enough to see the recession coming

What is the most outrageous piece of B**s***e you have ever heard?

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What is the most outrageous piece of Bs*e you have ever heard?