Ever farted at a bad time?

TheBody · 30-07-2011 09:38PM #1

As the thread title says, have you ever farted at a bad time? Maybe while chatting up a girl/boy.....in a meeting with your boss......

Let's hear it.

Agricola · 30-07-2011 09:45PM

*parp*

Sorry...............:o

Paddy Cow · 30-07-2011 09:47PM

I was standing in a queue behind my friend. Just as the queue moved forward she let off a silent but violent one. It was disgusting and everyone was looking at me as it looked like I had done it.

ScummyMan · 30-07-2011 09:47PM

In church...

When everyone is silently praying...

On my Confirmation.

veryangryman · 30-07-2011 09:48PM

Once at my desk, nobody around so let a sneaky (bad) one out.

Team Leader then came up with a chair to sit with me and explain my tasks for the week. He stayed 10 fukcing minutes!! :eek: Thank fek he wasn't a woman.

Bear gryllis - Born Survivor i nicknamed him after that!

wolf moon · 30-07-2011 09:51PM

Once, having sex - just before she came.. The atmosphere was gone, no sex for the next 2 weeks. We still laugh when we talk about it.

MungBean · 30-07-2011 09:53PM

Let one off while working in a shop, was hoovering and spotted a customer heading in my direction so decided to hoover up the smell. Didnt so much remove the smell as took it in heated it up, and released it again 100 times worse. Customer didnt hang around too long after that. Nothing worse than a hot fart.

daniels.ducks · 30-07-2011 09:58PM

Reffiing a girls match once... ball went over my head... i turned sharply... the pressure squeezed one out...

callaway92 · 30-07-2011 10:15PM

No, but I have had boners at times that were worse than imaginable.

galwayrush · 30-07-2011 10:16PM

There is no such thing as a bad time.

Kevin Duffy · 30-07-2011 10:21PM

Long and loud in the middle of dinner when meeting a girlfriend's family for the first time. Luckily they were English upper-middle class, so stiff upper lips all 'round and I rode it out.

Turtyturd · 30-07-2011 10:22PM

Happened a few times when I belched...man it feels manky.

J. Marston · 30-07-2011 10:28PM

After my nan's funeral, back at her house. Everyone was talking and it was a quiet one so it wasn't heard but it was smelt, I'm sure of that.
I probably went a bit red too so I'm sure a few people knew who the culprit was.

pappyodaniel · 30-07-2011 10:46PM

I did it in bed last night and it was so loud it woke me up....and the girl next to me woke up in shock saying "what was that? what was that loud n.... .....,

(*sniff sniff)

oh!"

wolf moon · 30-07-2011 10:49PM

pappyodaniel wrote: »

I did it in bed last night and it was so loud it woke me up....and the girl next to me woke up in shock saying "what was that? what was that loud n.... .....,

(*sniff sniff)

oh!"

Happened to me a good few times. The last bed-one was "YOU PIG!!! You farted in my hand!!!"

Samich · 30-07-2011 11:10PM

Doing circuit training at football training, was doing situps with the weights on my chest. Was nearing the end, and one of the other fellas was holding my feet down. I sharted.

booboo88 · 31-07-2011 12:04AM

Samich wrote: »

Doing circuit training at football training, was doing situps with the weights on my chest. Was nearing the end, and one of the other fellas was holding my feet down. I sharted.

this one made me laugh.
my ex used to fart down the phone, only cuz he knew it wound me up:rolleyes:

Dilbert75 · 31-07-2011 12:27AM

One Christmas just after getting off the train in Heuston Station, was standing in the melee for the bus to the city centre. Cracked a very sneaky one off - completely silent. Good work, I thought to myself. Next thing this kid starts bawling right behind me, then his mother starts roaring at him to stop crying. Must have near poisoned the poor child.:o

Another night in a packed pub we were standing in a walkway out to the smoking area. Opened the lunchbox - again silently - but by God it was vicious. :eek: Cleared a space fairly lively, I can tell you! Luckily everyone seemed to conclude it was one of those damn anti-social smokers that let it loose on the way through...;)

Wibbles19 · 31-07-2011 12:33AM

Haven't farted in 12 years, gwad bless the 3 dogs (bad puppy : ))

orourkeda · 31-07-2011 01:03AM

Is there a good time to fart?

BOHtox · 31-07-2011 01:25AM

TheBody wrote: »

As the thread title says, have you ever farted at a bad time? Maybe while chatting up a girl/boy.....in a meeting with your boss......

Let's here it.

Get out! and never come back!

pragmatic1 · 31-07-2011 01:52AM

In a taxi full of hot women. It was one of the worst farts I've ever made too. Really heinous.

PseudoFamous · 31-07-2011 01:56AM

Every time I fart it's bad.

scudzilla · 31-07-2011 01:59AM

In the funeral car going to my ma's funeral.

My ma's brother was in the front next to driver, her 3 sisters were in the middle and my sis, dad and i were in the back

Was literally having to eat this monstrosity that came outta my arse, can laugh about it now but at the time (last year)i was mortified, blamed my aunty

bonerjams03 · 31-07-2011 02:05AM

Sitting on the bus with earphones in. You master the ability to speak normally with earphones in, but when you fart you forget other people hear what you don't.

Anyway. I was required to sit staring directly at the seat in front of me not daring to look sideways or giggle, knowing full well by the feel of it that it was a rumbler.

steve french · 31-07-2011 02:06AM

probably done it more than once but this particular time stands out in my mind. i was in cologne with some friends and had spent the 2 previous days living off beer and curry wurst or some other german food. on the third day we decided to climb to the top of cologne cathedral which you have to go up a very high narrow spiral staircase. there was 2 of the lads in front of me and 1 behind, and it just slipped out and proceeded to climb the cathedral with us:D much to the horror of the lads in front and even more so the lad behind and countless amounts of other tourists on their way down the stairs. i was weak with laughter after that, as i listened to the disgusted noises the other tourists made as they encountered it. its a memory that will never leave me

opinion guy · 31-07-2011 02:11AM

Silent but deadly just before getting out of a lift with other people staying behind :eek:

Chuck Stone · 31-07-2011 02:11AM

I have vague memories of doing a large fart sitting on the wooden floor of the primary school hall when this particularly pious teacher was giving a talk about some religious shit. I was probably around 5 or 6 yrs old.

The other kids laughed because it was very quiet and the fart kinda got amplified by the proximity of my bum to the hollow wooden floor.

I think the teacher was really pissed off.

He was kinda creepy though because he used to take off his shoes on the stage, as he held the microphone posyletizing, and rub his socked feet together as if he was at home.

IIRC he was a single ex monk or priest or something. Probably was bent and trying to figure it out.

chillywilly · 31-07-2011 03:07AM

I remember my brother telling me a story that he was walking down Dame street one day and let out a loud smelly fart while walking up the road. The mistake he made was glancing behind him to see if anyone had felt its wrath. He turned to see a sexy lady with a look of disgust on her face

Why did he ever turn around? Why??

nomnomnom · 31-07-2011 03:23AM

Its always a good time when I fart.without exception,funeral or no funeral.

Hal Emmerich · 31-07-2011 03:28AM

chillywilly wrote: »

I remember my brother telling me a story that he was walking down Dame street one day and let out a loud smelly fart while walking up the road. The mistake he made was glancing behind him to see if anyone had felt its wrath. He turned to see a sexy lady with a look of disgust on her face Why did he ever turn around? Why??

LOL, he should have said something like, "If you want to taste it, I'll shake the covers when we're in the Sack later!"

There would be some look on her face then...hehehe.

Ever farted at a bad time?

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