I've got just over 2 hours to fix my dick.. Fek.

Did that meself one weekend in anticipation of 'sexy times'.

You won't be able to 'rise to the occasion' without feeling a twang of pain. Kinda like a papercut on the inside of your finger. Hurt like a bitch at first, but it didn't bleed while 'getting jiggy with it'(na na na na na na na) and after a few minutes you won't even realise.

Keep up with the vaseline, maybe make a few sacrifices to the sex gods or something, and good luck with the sex with the hot girl. (I ran out of euphamisms)

Deleted User wrote: »

Wahhay.. It's finally stopped dripping Vaseline ftw!
Now, if it can heal to the point of being useful and not a pain, I'll be delighted.. This girl is my greatest achievement so something like this fuking it up would haunt me.

your greatest achievement..? have ya to take her out of the box and blow her up..?

christ......... what a lucky girl.

Deleted User wrote: »

cruiser raises a good point.... And I'm not exactly feeling turned on right now. I've an hour to think about backing out and save it for the weekend.

Crazy speak! That's you're arsehole talking, you need to listen to your balls! You know what they're saying? They saying they're proud of you, but you're in danger of letting them down now. They're sweated and bleed for you today, now it's time for you to pay them back.

dont speak to her,let her think she,s got a great catch..,keep chloroform close by in case she tries to leave

Deleted User wrote: »

I actually read this and felt like I deserved to fuk the shlt out of her.. Then I looked down and my tired sad penis and thought, "maybe not".

have you considered auctioning her off the highest bidder...?

Deleted User wrote: »

cruiser raises a good point.... And I'm not exactly feeling turned on right now. I've an hour to think about backing out and save it for the weekend.

Agreed. It's really not worth the risk. If she takes offence, you could just tell her what happened. She'll appreciate your honesty, as well as the fact that you're not selfish enough to put her health at risk, and it'll give her a great laugh.

..and I love the idea of you trying to explain your antics to her

You cut your balls why do you need to fix your dick

Seachmall wrote: »

True, it's probably best to call it a night or you could wake up with some fucked up infection eating away at your pee-pee.

Lads seriously, give the Winehouse jokes a rest

Deleted User wrote: »

Aye, she's washed.. I'd give her a good T-cut first though.

mmmmhmm maybe we could do business...we could do a trade...I,ve a mixed race of Jewish descent princess, granted shes a Dublin accent and would cut ya in half from fifty yards..but none the less shes a little exotic..

Deleted User wrote: »

I actually read this and felt like I deserved to fuk the shlt out of her.. Then I looked down and my tired sad penis and thought, "maybe not".

If you end up marrying her, can we show her this quote.

I'm sure she'll love it.

Women are funny like that.

' Hey honey did i ever tell you the amusing story about the time i told the internet that i deserved to fcuk the sh1t out of you'

Oh how you will laugh.

Just how hairy were your bollix in the first place?

How on earth could you put a blade to a wrinkly sack, you were doomed from the start. In future when you get an idea like this, please visit AH for advice BEFORE you do it :rolleyes:

raveni wrote: »

Really, what's to worry about?? Tell her the truth that it's just not going to happen today, if she's halfway decent (and not a nympho) she'll understand and appreciate that you were just trying to do a bit of gardening:D

tell her the truth..? :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac: