I've got just over 2 hours to fix my dick.. Fek.

Samich · 27-07-2011 05:01PM

Deleted User wrote: »

No Samich, thank god you're not right... It's a cut from an electic razor and it's just a cut that wont stop bleeding.

Get your dog to lick it til it stops, they like licking mens balls.

ejmaztec · 27-07-2011 05:02PM

Deleted User wrote: »

It's 10.41pm and a girl I was with last weekend is calling over around 1.00am after work.. So the super smart ABG decides that the nutsack could do with a bit of a trim, just to keep things tidy. It's been drip drip drip for about half an hour now..

So what household products can I use to get this thing back in action? I have bandaids, water, ice and not much else.
I'm some gobshlte for giving myself no room for error.

Bloody bollix.

jimthemental · 27-07-2011 05:02PM

You could ask her if she likes the Twilight films.

Naos · 27-07-2011 05:03PM

Deleted User wrote: »

No Samich, thank god you're not right... It's a cut from an electic razor and it's just a cut that wont stop bleeding.

Electric razor... on your balls?

F**K THAT.

27-07-2011 05:05PM

Vaseline applied... I think everyone on here should know that I'm butt naked right now sitting on a towel on my bed. The calm patheticness before the heroic storm.

Kevin Duffy · 27-07-2011 05:06PM

Say nothing, let her drop the hand, say "Jaysis, ouch, watch your nails, look what you've done....still, seems to be in one piece, let's press on" Ta-da!

jimthemental · 27-07-2011 05:07PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Vaseline applied... I think everyone on here should know that I'm butt naked right now sitting on a towel on my bed. The calm patheticness before the heroic storm.

It's going to be some story for the grandkids, "Let me tell you about the time I was wounded in Nam!"

Seachmall · 27-07-2011 05:09PM

Pics please.

27-07-2011 05:10PM

Seachmall wrote: »

Pics please.

Of my dick, the girl, or both?

Seachmall · 27-07-2011 05:12PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Of my dick, the girl, or both?

I'm good either way.

holystungun9 · 27-07-2011 05:13PM

Sounds like it could be 'return the favour night', or as some like to call it - 'strap-on night'. Take it like a man, but do have a little cry after it. Chicks like a sensitive guy.

super_furry · 27-07-2011 05:13PM

Bet it was one of those Quatro Trim razors - those things are lethal for that. Sliced myself up a couple of times while doing a bit of gardening downtown.

Edit - These bastards: http://www.wilkinsonsword.co.uk/men/showroom/quattro_titanium_precision

27-07-2011 05:14PM

Seachmall wrote: »

I'm good either way.

The girl.... Stunner yea?

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4297/veryuglywomenteethgirlv.jpg

Seachmall · 27-07-2011 05:16PM

Deleted User wrote: »

The girl.... Stunner yea?

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4297/veryuglywomenteethgirlv.jpg

Ah, if she was coming over to mine I'd cut my dick off too.

super_furry · 27-07-2011 05:17PM

Deleted User wrote: »

The girl.... Stunner yea?

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/4297/veryuglywomenteethgirlv.jpg

Not cool man. Amy is only dead a few days, it's still too early.

holystungun9 · 27-07-2011 05:18PM

Seachmall wrote: »

Pics please.

maybe we should set up a web cam network and if ABG can get his hands on some remote control robot arms and scalpals etc, we can perform some sort of remote on-line surgery. AH will sort you out buddy! Maybe charge folks 1 euro per 30 second time slot. That way every one can get a go. You'll be right in no time, plus you have the shaving bit done so we're ready when you are!

pickarooney · 27-07-2011 05:20PM

super_furry wrote: »

Not cool man. Amy is only dead a few days, it's still too early.

Spoken like a true necrophilia connoisseur.

27-07-2011 05:21PM

Wahhay.. It's finally stopped dripping

Vaseline ftw!
Now, if it can heal to the point of being useful and not a pain, I'll be delighted.. This girl is my greatest achievement so something like this fuking it up would haunt me.

CardBordWindow · 27-07-2011 05:21PM

Smother the affected area with Deep Heat and you'll be grand!

Disclaimer!
DO NOT DO THIS!!

Ricardo G · 27-07-2011 05:22PM

Are you too old to show yore ma and see what kinda remedy she suggests??

Seachmall · 27-07-2011 05:22PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Wahhay.. It's finally stopped dripping Vaseline ftw!
Now, if it can heal to the point of being useful and not a pain, I'll be delighted.. This girl is my greatest achievement so something like this fuking it up would haunt me.

Does it hurt if you get an erection?

Or at least hurt more than usual?

Ricardo G · 27-07-2011 05:23PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Wahhay.. It's finally stopped dripping Vaseline ftw!
Now, if it can heal to the point of being useful and not a pain, I'll be delighted.. This girl is my greatest achievement so something like this fuking it up would haunt me.

Just don't get her to lick you out or she may spot the wound

super_furry · 27-07-2011 05:24PM

pickarooney wrote: »

Spoken like a true necrophilia connoisseur.

I used to be a necorphiliac until some rotten c*** split on me.

The old ones are the best. In both cases.

27-07-2011 05:24PM

Seachmall wrote: »

Does it hurt if you get an erection?

Or at least hurt more than usual?

That's the part I'm worried about.... The positioning couldn't be worse like.

27-07-2011 05:25PM

Ricardo G wrote: »

Just don't get her to lick you out or she may spot the wound

Never even thought of that... :eek:

cruiser178 · 27-07-2011 05:29PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Wahhay.. It's finally stopped dripping Vaseline ftw!
Now, if it can heal to the point of being useful and not a pain, I'll be delighted.. This girl is my greatest achievement so something like this fuking it up would haunt me.

I really hate to be the one with the bad news here Ads, if you dont want to fcuk this up, then dont put an open wound near her fanny or mouth.

As some one else said just cuddle for tonight and learn a lesson from it.

Sticky_Fingers · 27-07-2011 05:30PM

cruiser178 wrote: »

I really hate to be the one with the bad news here Ads, if you dont want to fcuk this up, then dont put an open wound near her fanny or mouth.

As some one else said just cuddle for tonight and learn a lesson from it.

Are you worried about Aids by Google?

Seachmall · 27-07-2011 05:30PM

cruiser178 wrote: »

then dont put an open wound near her fanny or mouth.

True, it's probably best to call it a night or you could wake up with some fucked up infection eating away at your pee-pee.

Mongarra · 27-07-2011 05:31PM

It was in Readers Digest so it must be true. Sprinkle black pepper on a wound and it stops the blood. Too late now but for the next time. Adds to flavour too, probably.

On second thoughts she would surely wonder why you taste of black pepper.

Luckily I've given up buying Readers Digest.

Lustrum · 27-07-2011 05:33PM

You could spin her around to do her from behind, but instead of sticking little ABG in just shove in a huge dildo, she wont know any better coz you'll be pushing her head down into the pillow and tomorrow she goes and tells all her hot friends about you humungous schlong and then they all want a piece of ABG.

Everyone wins!

I've got just over 2 hours to fix my dick.. Fek.

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