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I've got just over 2 hours to fix my dick.. Fek.

  • 27-07-2011 04:48PM
    #1
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭


    It's 10.41pm and a girl I was with last weekend is calling over around 1.00am after work.. So the super smart ABG decides that the nutsack could do with a bit of a trim, just to keep things tidy. It's been drip drip drip for about half an hour now..

    So what household products can I use to get this thing back in action? I have bandaids, water, ice and not much else. :o
    I'm some gobshlte for giving myself no room for error.


«134

Comments

  • #2
    RedXIV
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,570 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Ice that thing up


  • #3
    Quazzie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 30,773 ✭✭✭✭Quazzie


    Just tell her its your time of the month.


  • #4
    Artur Foden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 149 ✭✭Artur Foden


    Hang on your coin purse is dripping? get to A&E dude!


  • #5
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,190 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Nose trimmer


  • #6
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    I'm confused


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  • #7
    Degag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,158 ✭✭✭✭Degag


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's 10.41pm and a girl I was with last weekend is calling over around 1.00am after work.. So the super smart ABG decides that the nutsack could do with a bit of a trim, just to keep things tidy. It's been drip drip drip for about half an hour now..

    So what household products can I use to get this thing back in action? I have bandaids, water, ice and not much else. :o
    I'm some gobshlte for giving myself no room for error.
    No it's not, it's ten to 5.


  • #8
    Seachmall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Deleted User wrote: »
    It's been drip drip drip for about half an hour now..

    What?


  • #9
    CardBordWindow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,209 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    Keep going! You'll end up with cheaper car insurance! :D


  • #10
    oeb
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭oeb


    Duct tape.

    It fixes everything.


  • #11
    Sticky_Fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,379 ✭✭✭Sticky_Fingers


    Super glue, just make sure it well dry before you attempt to dock with the mothership or there will be some awkward questions in the A&E.


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  • #12
    FatherLen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    super glue...



    damn even your name makes sense with super glue


  • #13
    mattjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    blow torch or soldering iron...and petrol


  • #14
    Wolfe Tone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,670 ✭✭✭✭Wolfe Tone


    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    And thats why I don't let a blade anywhere near my balls!


  • #15
    Rabidlamb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,202 ✭✭✭Rabidlamb


    A blob of vaseline my friend.
    Use a mirror if it's in a awkward area, use Mach 3 razors next time.


  • #16
    Tim the Enchanter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 309 ✭✭Tim the Enchanter


    Its Ok. Your in Vietnam. She love you long time!!! It will heal.


  • #17
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Degag wrote: »
    No it's not, it's ten to 5.

    Location and when I started writing post. :rolleyes:


    No A&E.. It's only some blood. But blood I'd rather not fill a johnie with. Worst part is it's right on that line between the sack and the shaft.. Not ideal during a bit of the old loving.


  • #18
    Uriel.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,059 ✭✭✭Uriel.


    Styptic pencil. It'll stick but will stop the bleeding. FaiIling that an alum block may help depending on the damage done


  • #19
    Seachmall
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Put a bit of tape over it, then when she goes down on you let it bleed all over the place and sue her for damages.


  • #20
    Degag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,158 ✭✭✭✭Degag


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Location and when I started writing post. :rolleyes:

    This is Boards.ie buddy. We operate on GMT or nothin'


  • #21
    jokettle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,419 ✭✭✭✭jokettle


    Tell her "I did this for you". We love that stuff.


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  • #22
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Vaseline is a fuking excellent idea..! I have some downstairs. Ah AfterHours, I knew ye wouldn't let me down. :D



    Is there a pun there?


  • #23
    Samich
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,949 ✭✭✭Samich


    Am I right in thinking his sack has been pierced and his seminal fluid is leaking out, his testicles may also fall out. Rub some putty on it to fill the crack.


  • #24
    mattjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    Samich wrote: »
    Am I right in thinking his sack has been pierced and his seminal fluid is leaking out, his testicles may also fall out. Rub some putty on it to fill the crack.

    our first genuine doctor....


  • #25
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,838 ✭✭✭phill106


    tell her you have a booboo, can she kiss it better?


  • #26
    Loopie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 272 ✭✭Loopie


    Maybe you should just talk and cuddle for tonight... :D


  • #27
    Magic Beans
    Closed Accounts Posts: 329 ✭✭Magic Beans


    Put a red ribbon on it, she'll be delighted.


  • #28
    Rabidlamb
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,202 ✭✭✭Rabidlamb


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Vaseline is a fuking excellent idea..! I have some downstairs

    You soon will have.


  • #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    No Samich, thank god you're not right... It's a cut from an electic razor and it's just a cut that wont stop bleeding.


  • #30
    jimthemental
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,004 ✭✭✭jimthemental


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Location and when I started writing post. :rolleyes:


    No A&E.. It's only some blood. But blood I'd rather not fill a johnie with. Worst part is it's right on that line between the sack and the shaft.. Not ideal during a bit of the old loving.

    I think my balls are back in the position they were before puberty after reading that. Best you can do is sudocream or vaseline. It's what I used use when I got split open boxing. Never used either on my balls though.


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  • #31
    Sticky_Fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,379 ✭✭✭Sticky_Fingers


    "The surest cure for vanity is loneliness a sliced up nutsack" Thomas Wolfe Stick_Fingers


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