has anyone here ever seen a funeral of a suicide casualty?

CorkMan · 13-07-2011 10:42AM #1

I remember just over 11 years ago my 1st cousin hung himself. I wasn't able to attend the funeral as I was released from hospital during it but I saw the burial. My cousin's Mother and Girlfriend where on their knees on the ground when the casket was being lowered, crying out.

Has anyone else been to this type of funeral?

Sykk · 13-07-2011 10:44AM

Yes I have. It's the same as every other funeral, though..

FatherLen · 13-07-2011 10:45AM

no not the burial but i have been to mass of one. heard the burials are very upsetting.

Elba101 · 13-07-2011 10:46AM

I have but i think you're in the wrong form for this... do you need advice or are you asking for the sake of it?

stovelid · 13-07-2011 10:46AM

Twice.

Which is two times too much.

theteal · 13-07-2011 10:47AM

i've been at a couple unfortunately. I can't say they were much different to any other funeral - except for the one who detailed his own music to be played, i didn't know whether to laugh or cry when "my way" kicked in at the end

Ninjedi · 13-07-2011 10:48AM

Yeah, a friend of mine whose brother killed himself a couple of days after their father's funeral (he died of natural causes).

Was absolutely awful, but I don't handle funerals well anyway never mind for something like that.

Marty McFly · 13-07-2011 10:48AM

I have yeh and have to say it wa the same as any other funeral ive been to depressing as fook.

sparks24 · 13-07-2011 10:49AM

once and its just like any other funeral of a young person

markc1184 · 13-07-2011 10:51AM

Yes and there was nearly a riot in the church because of how the priest decided he wanted to word his sermon.

Agricola · 13-07-2011 10:52AM

markc1184 wrote: »

Yes and there was nearly a riot in the church because of how the priest decided he wanted to word his sermon.

What did he say?

Orando Broom · 13-07-2011 10:56AM

A lot of young people, unfortunately. Only one suicide. Tragic stuff and it is NEVER the answer. no matter how bad a person thinks their situation is, they are wrong. It's not that bad. All these situations are retrievable. Unfortunately only the true extent of how loved these people really are becomes apparent at a funeral.

I am the son of an Undertaker and I can tell each and everyone of you that Suicide solves absolutely nothing and only demolishes and destroys dozens of lives, needlessly. If any of you guys even remotely feel like suicide is an answer I can tell you categorically it is not. It is a selfish mean act that destroys more than just one life. ALWAYS talk to someone about what bothers you. I'm telling you it's NEVER that bad. EVER. I can only beg that people do that.

jester77 · 13-07-2011 10:56AM

Yeah, cousins, was an awful experience. Happened during my final exams in uni. Family and priest discussed it and decided it was best not to inform me until the day of the removal. Only had 1 exam left by then and it was on the morning of the funeral. Everyone said I should return and sit the exam as I had a good job based on finishing my exams. Horrible horrible experience sitting in the room that day knowing my cousin was being buried at the same time.

markc1184 · 13-07-2011 11:02AM

Agricola wrote: »

What did he say?

Every other sentence seemed to be talking about the chaps selfishness and just general derogatory slurs against the chap. No matter what the priest stance is on suicide the way he was talking about the chap is definitely not what a grieving family wants to be hearing at the funeral. The family let him know that too.

CardBordWindow · 13-07-2011 11:06AM

Yes I have.:( Hopefully it's an experience I never have to go through again.

temply · 13-07-2011 11:10AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

A lot of young people, unfortunately. Only one suicide. Tragic stuff and it is NEVER the answer. no matter how bad a person thinks their situation is, they are wrong. It's not that bad. All these situations are retrievable. Unfortunately only the true extent of how loved these people really are becomes apparent at a funeral.

I am the son of an Undertaker and I can tell each and everyone of you that Suicide solves absolutely nothing and only demolishes and destroys dozens of lives, needlessly. If any of you guys even remotely feel like suicide is an answer I can tell you categorically it is not. It is a selfish mean act that destroys more than just one life. ALWAYS talk to someone about what bothers you. I'm telling you it's NEVER that bad. EVER. I can only beg that people do that.

:rolleyes:

hondasam · 13-07-2011 11:11AM

CorkMan wrote: »

I remember just over 11 years ago my 1st cousin hung himself. I wasn't able to attend the funeral as I was released from hospital during it but I saw the burial. My cousin's Mother and Girlfriend where on their knees on the ground when the casket was being lowered, crying out.

Has anyone else been to this type of funeral?

The funeral of a person who commits suicide is no different to someone who dies in a car crash.

everyone reacts differently to death, of course some people measure grief in how much crying is done.

I do feel people who commit suicide should have quieter funerals. It's not something to be glorified and it gives the wrong impression to other vulnerable people.

Captain Darling · 13-07-2011 11:12AM

Yeah, two young guys from our town killed themselves within a year of each other. Heart breaking seeing their friends carrying the coffins. The two lads were friends.

Very, very sad.

Orando Broom · 13-07-2011 11:14AM

temply wrote: »

:rolleyes:

When you see how many people are crushed, destroyed by it you'd fücking agree. So stick your roll eyes where the sun don't shine.

I'll refrain from really expressing my true feelings for you for fear of a ban.

If anyone thought about who they leave behind and the emotional wreckage left they might think twice about going through with it.

You have to call a spade a spade.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer · 13-07-2011 11:15AM

Yes, unfortunately. And I wouldn't agree with what people said earlier in the thread, I feel its worse than a funeral of someone who died in any other way.

temply · 13-07-2011 11:17AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

When you see how many people are crushed, destroyed by it you'd fücking agree. So stick your roll eyes where the sun don't shine.

I'll refrain from really expressing my true feelings for you for fear of a ban.

If anyone thought about who they leave behind and the emotional wreckage left they might think twice about going through with it.

You have to call a spade a spade.

I've lost a family member to suicide.

Hence my reaction to your horrible remark.

ColeTrain · 13-07-2011 11:19AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

When you see how many people are crushed, destroyed by it you'd fücking agree. So stick your roll eyes where the sun don't shine.

I'll refrain from really expressing my true feelings for you for fear of a ban.

If anyone thought about who they leave behind and the emotional wreckage left they might think twice about going through with it.

You have to call a spade a spade.

I've never seen such an argument against a single smiley face before!

13-07-2011 11:19AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

I am the son of an Undertaker and I can tell each and everyone of you that Suicide solves absolutely nothing and only demolishes and destroys dozens of lives, needlessly. If any of you guys even remotely feel like suicide is an answer I can tell you categorically it is not. It is a selfish mean act that destroys more than just one life. ALWAYS talk to someone about what bothers you. I'm telling you it's NEVER that bad. EVER. I can only beg that people do that.

Oh cop on.

mgmt · 13-07-2011 11:21AM

bluewolf wrote: »

Oh cop on.

How can someone argue against that statement?? Suicide is a selfish mean act and to suggest otherwise is just glorifying it.

ejmaztec · 13-07-2011 11:23AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

When you see how many people are crushed, destroyed by it you'd fücking agree. So stick your roll eyes where the sun don't shine.

I'll refrain from really expressing my true feelings for you for fear of a ban.

If anyone thought about who they leave behind and the emotional wreckage left they might think twice about going through with it.

You have to call a spade a spade.

There was one a few years ago where a guy in his 50s was being buried. Two of his sons were shouting and screaming abuse at him for doing what he did, just as the coffin was being lowered into the ground. I've never seen anything so feckin insane.

13-07-2011 11:23AM

mgmt wrote: »

How can someone argue against that statement?? Suicide is a selfish mean act and to suggest otherwise is just glorifying it.

I am not glorifying anything.
People suffering enough from depression to want to commit suicide are in a bad enough state already and need help, not to be told they're even more horrible for wanting to end the pain. They need to be talked to and helped.

How exactly is someone going to react when they tell you they want to commit suicide and the reaction is "that's selfish and mean"? Think that'll help?!
For god's sake, some of them might already think they're a burden on their families and friends in that messed up state of mind.

hondasam · 13-07-2011 11:23AM

Orando Broom wrote: »

When you see how many people are crushed, destroyed by it you'd fücking agree. So stick your roll eyes where the sun don't shine.

I'll refrain from really expressing my true feelings for you for fear of a ban.

If anyone thought about who they leave behind and the emotional wreckage left they might think twice about going through with it.

You have to call a spade a spade.

No one knows what goes through the mind of someone who is just about to take their own life
but I personally would like to think that they feel what they are about to do is the best thing ever
because otherwise families would never cope with suicide.

secrecy_ie · 13-07-2011 11:23AM

temply wrote: »

I've lost a family member to suicide.

Hence my reaction to your horrible remark.

I was just about to comment on that. People who say suicide is selfish are wrong. If you have ever been at the point where you are so depressed, that you convince yourself that the world would be a better place without you, then you know what goes through the mind of someone contemplating suicide.

Of course, they are wrong, and it's extremely sad for the people who are left behind.

temply · 13-07-2011 11:23AM

mgmt wrote: »

How can someone argue against that statement?? Suicide is a selfish mean act and to suggest otherwise is just glorifying it.

so ignorant.

hondasam · 13-07-2011 11:29AM

temply wrote: »

so ignorant.

It's not ignorant really, people commit suicide for many different reasons.

People who commit suicide over financial problems and leaving partners and kids to cope alone is a bit selfish.

Not everyone who commits suicide is depressed, sometimes it is a snap decision that cannot be reversed.

ejmaztec · 13-07-2011 11:33AM

hondasam wrote: »

It's not ignorant really, people commit suicide for many different reasons.

People who commit suicide over financial problems and leaving partners and kids to cope alone is a bit selfish.

Not everyone who commits suicide is depressed, sometimes it is a snap decision that cannot be reversed.

They're cult-members who think they're going to be whisked away on a space-ship. I'd say that the rest are more than depressed.

has anyone here ever seen a funeral of a suicide casualty?

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