How long of a wait is acceptable & unacceptable to have sex whilst dating?

Morag · 11-07-2011 04:34AM

Helix wrote: »

call me old fashioned, but a girl who'd be down for the ride within the first week just wouldnt cut it for me relationship wise. youd really have to wonder if half the country had been in her

The same can be said of a bloke, who know's what you'd catch.

It depends on a couple of factors, I mean you could get to date 4/5 and be on the rag.
It also depends on what you are both after and if you knew each other beforehand.

If ye knew each other beforehand then seeing if there is real chemistry there and if ye 'fit' together is the last few bits of the puzzle, but thats a big difference from dating a complete stranger.

Snowie · 11-07-2011 05:03AM

Karona wrote: »

I like to make a man wait, not over the top long just a month or so. Call me what you want, but he can be respected if he waits... and trust me it's worth waiting for

You're just high maintenance :P...

A month or so i think what she means is 7 to 8

Elle Collins · 11-07-2011 02:36PM

theboss80 wrote: »

I also think that girls tend to concentrate FAR too much on the word respect. I've had one night stands and slept with girls who wanted to wait a bit longer and tbh there was no difference in the level of respect I had for them.

Some men concentrate far too little on it. Where was your respect for the women you slept with although they "wanted to wait a bit longer"?

prinz · 11-07-2011 02:42PM

Waited 20+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ for the right one, and yes it was most definitely worth it.

stovelid · 11-07-2011 02:43PM

I would say a two weeks maximum. Or in date terms maybe about 3 dates maximum. Unless there is something genuinely wrong, anything longer than that would have me worrying.

Also couldn't care less if it happens before or during the first date. All the better.

Frank Black · 11-07-2011 02:43PM

As long as it takes me to figure out how to whip off her bra..

about 2-3 weeks in general depending on the bra clasp mechanism.

getz · 11-07-2011 02:51PM

black francis wrote: »

As long as it takes me to figure out how to whip off her bra..

about 2-3 weeks in general depending on the bra clasp mechanism.

if i am paying for it, ASAP

theboss80 · 11-07-2011 02:52PM

Elle Collins wrote: »

Some men concentrate far too little on it. Where was your respect for the women you slept with although they "wanted to wait a bit longer"?

What are you on about?

FunkZ · 11-07-2011 02:56PM

Generally, sex is an entrance exam for a relationship, so you don't want to wait around too long just to find out the person is **** in the sack.

Vicxas · 11-07-2011 02:57PM

3 - 4 is good if it feels right and not forced.

Lux23 · 11-07-2011 03:00PM

It depends, if I don't want to sleep with a man on the first date I never will. I have had plenty of boyfriends that I shagged in the first hour of meeting them nevermind the first date so I think its a rather pointless debate. I have also waited a few weeks, slept with the guy and wanted to run five minutes later. I think once you get into your late twenties/early thirties all that stuff just doesn't matter anymore.

Da Shins Kelly · 11-07-2011 03:04PM

Whenever the moment is right and both people want to. Deciding a specific time that you're going to do it kinda kills the sponteneity of it, in my opinion. If a certain time suddenly feels right, then go with it. Personally, I would wait until that time instead of deciding in my head 'OK, I'm gonna do it on the third date'. It's never going to feel right if you do it like that, there's no fun in that, for me.

YFlyer · 11-07-2011 03:05PM

Sex is just abit of fun. Enjoy it folks.

Zebra3 · 11-07-2011 03:07PM

Before the chloroform wears off.

cocokay · 11-07-2011 03:08PM

off topic but a friend of mine recently shocked me by saying she really liked the guy she was seeing but hes too heavy for her and she has told him she won't be sleeping with him until he loses weight!!! if a guy said something like that to me, jesus...shes polish and VERY blunt and outspoken. the guy agreed with her saying he wanted to lose some weight - i've seen him from afar and didn't think he was that big, hes quite tall so would expect him to be a bit heavier. anyways looks like they're gonna be waiting a long time unless he starts starving himself! dunno if hes so insecure and unconfident that he doesn't have the balls to tell her to f*ck off or whether he really wants to do this for himself/her

orourkeda · 11-07-2011 03:08PM

about 30 seconds

Downlinz · 11-07-2011 03:09PM

Karona wrote: »

I like to make a man wait, not over the top long just a month or so. Call me what you want, but he can be respected if he waits... and trust me it's worth waiting for

Women who do this are really insecure. Its like having customers in a restaurant giving them some bread and water then making them wait for hours until they're absolutely famished until you finally feed them. You could be serving them micro chips at this point and it'd taste good.

Yahew · 11-07-2011 03:10PM

Jesus third dates must be nervous affairs.

I thought that Irish people hooked up in pubs, possibly knowing each other before, went home for a drunken fumble, and then got it together the next morning with 5 minutes of wham bam thank you mam. Then its a full Irish and a stroll down stephen's green.

Dont americanise too much.

Yahew · 11-07-2011 03:12PM

cocokay wrote: »

off topic but a friend of mine recently shocked me by saying she really liked the guy she was seeing but hes too heavy for her and she has told him she won't be sleeping with him until he loses weight!!! if a guy said something like that to me, jesus...shes polish and VERY blunt and outspoken. the guy agreed with her saying he wanted to lose some weight - i've seen him from afar and didn't think he was that big, hes quite tall so would expect him to be a bit heavier. anyways looks like they're gonna be waiting a long time unless he starts starving himself! dunno if hes so insecure and unconfident that he doesn't have the balls to tell her to f*ck off or whether he really wants to do this for himself/her

There are skinny tall people. I think that's ok. If he wants to lose weight and she would prefer it whats the issue. Polish girls are blunt all right.

RichieC · 11-07-2011 03:15PM

Yahew wrote: »

Jesus third dates must be nervous affairs.

I thought that Irish people hooked up in pubs, possibly knowing each other before, went home for a drunken fumble, and then got it together the next morning with 5 minutes of wham bam thank you mam. Then its a full Irish and a stroll down stephen's green.

Dont americanise too much.

This sounds more like the planet I'm from.

super_furry · 11-07-2011 03:19PM

There's no rule or hard and fast formula that can be applied. For some couples it'll be the first time they meet, for others it'll be when they get married. As long as both parties are happy with how things are going, there's no 'unacceptable' timeframe.

nacho libre · 11-07-2011 03:26PM

cocokay wrote: »

off topic but a friend of mine recently shocked me by saying she really liked the guy she was seeing but hes too heavy for her and she has told him she won't be sleeping with him until he loses weight!!! if a guy said something like that to me, jesus...shes polish and VERY blunt and outspoken. the guy agreed with her saying he wanted to lose some weight - i've seen him from afar and didn't think he was that big, hes quite tall so would expect him to be a bit heavier. anyways looks like they're gonna be waiting a long time unless he starts starving himself! dunno if hes so insecure and unconfident that he doesn't have the balls to tell her to f*ck off or whether he really wants to do this for himself/her

maybe she is genuinely concerned that his weight is unhealthy for him. could it be she knows this is the only way he'll be motivated to lose weight?

suicide_circus · 11-07-2011 03:26PM

I advocate sex very soon after meeting. It takes the pressure and hype of "the act" away and allows you to really get to know eachother. And if the other person fooks off well you havnt wasted time and money on "dates" with someone with whom it was never really gonna work with....plus you got the ride anyway.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 11-07-2011 03:30PM

I voted 3-4 dates but only because i figurd that was a reasonably acceptable time to have to wait but it doesnt always work out that way, you could be gagging for it and she might want to wait for 6 months or worse till you were married and then there are cases where she makes a move on the first night.

Best thing is to drop the hand and see what sort of reaction you get...a slap means never and non interference with your hand means go for it the door is already open.

Shivers26 · 11-07-2011 03:33PM

I'd have had no rules here, just whenever it felt right.

Having said that with my current OH we waited about 2 months and thats the longest I've ever waited but we were both living at home so it was all a bit pre-meditated or something. It made the first night together very awkward. Anyway, obviously if we were prepared to wait that long, we had a lot of respect for each other and feelings and stuff. Still together 6 1/2 years later. I can get the ride any time I want :cool:

cruiser178 · 11-07-2011 03:44PM

Helix wrote: »

call me old fashioned, but a girl who'd be down for the ride within the first week just wouldnt cut it for me relationship wise. youd really have to wonder if half the country had been in her

I dont get this kind of mentality

so what if she was with half the country, as long as she isn't riddled with something or her gee isn't hangin off her, ie she's clever and uses the right protection every time, who gives a **** how many she's been with.

Helix · 11-07-2011 04:27PM

cruiser178 wrote: »

[/B]

I dont get this kind of mentality so what if she was with half the country, as long as she isn't riddled with something or her gee isn't hangin off her, ie she's clever and uses the right protection every time, who gives a **** how many she's been with.

well you tend to find that the ones who have been with ridiculously large numbers tend to be riddled. both girls and lads

sorry, but thats not what im into

Liam Byrne · 11-07-2011 04:58PM

Helix wrote: »

call me old fashioned, but a girl who'd be down for the ride within the first week just wouldnt cut it for me relationship wise. youd really have to wonder if half the country had been in her

So I presume you wouldn't be "down for the ride within the first week" either ?

DoesNotCompute · 11-07-2011 05:01PM

How long of a wait is acceptable to have sex whilst dating?

0.0000001 milliseconds ;P

Helix · 11-07-2011 05:16PM

Liam Byrne wrote: »

So I presume you wouldn't be "down for the ride within the first week" either ?

correct

How long of a wait is acceptable & unacceptable to have sex whilst dating?

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