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  • #32
    theboss80
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,838 ✭✭✭theboss80


    KeithAFC wrote: »
    His version and then my version. :pac:

    Keith I see you doing more of a Kevin Myers style column.:pac:


  • #33
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    windsock for page 3

    Hooray! Finally, a chance for me to get me belly out!


  • #34
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,291 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    I'll do a Pub Spy type gig....but also include selected gentleman's clubs throughout the land.


  • #35
    For Forks Sake
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,484 ✭✭✭✭For Forks Sake


    I'm able to make up wholly pointless names for a variety of lowlifes, if Paul Williams can get paid for doing that, then so should I


  • #36
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    Any spaces?


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  • #37
    pebbles21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    Outlawpete can have Paul Williams job :D


  • #38
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,920 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm in.


  • #39
    charlemont
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,725 ✭✭✭charlemont


    I can be the crime reporter for the area I live in. Im way better than Paul Williams.

    Heres a sample http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjKXj4E-lmg


  • #40
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    WindSock wrote: »
    Hooray! Finally, a chance for me to get me belly out!

    ill get me moobs out


  • #41
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    Absurdum wrote: »
    I'll get me lad out for page 3.

    Mine wouldn't stand up for less than €50K. That works out at €666.66666666 per mm. Nice work if I can get it. :D Geddit?


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  • #42
    K-9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,305 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    Run_to_da_Hills for the "Will ID cards give you cancer?" stories.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • #43
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    ill get me moobs out


    Thats a negative admiral.We need to seemlessly slip into the gap in the market without repulsing the old NOTW regulars.

    Maybe some day.....:)


  • #44
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »
    Any spaces?
    We're going to need a private eye for,well,special enquiries/investigations.

    Youll be off the books and no-one will ever know:pac:


  • #45
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭ilovesleep


    cesc77 wrote: »
    Seems there will be a gap in the market since NOTW is to be folded.

    If the members of AH got together to produce their own equally entertaining weekly read,who would occupy key areas within said trashy read.

    I propose kfallon to oversee Personal Issues/Sexual Problems with ilovesleep under him to be the ying to his yang,Biggins to look after Consumer Affairs/Matters of National Security,flutterinbantam as Chief Headline Writer and that eeidgit scotty_irish in charge of proofreading:pac:

    What position would you apply for and why.

    The editors decision is final:pac::pac:

    Thank you for nominating me. I will be delighted in my new role. I cam give advice on many forms of filth.


  • #46
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    what's left to be taken?


  • #47
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    ilovesleep wrote: »
    Thank you for nominating me. I will be delighted in my new role. Broad areas I can give advise on includes:
    Polygamy - everybody should have multiple partners.
    Fetishes - do everything that pleases you except for extreme acts that are against the law like bestiality.
    Bdsm - get tied up, take your trashings and humiliation and enjoy.


    Well I was hoping to go a tad more highbrow than the previous occupants.

    Yeah sounds great.....Ill take that on board.

    Could we not start off with vajazzling and gentle spanking before shooting to the Michael Hutchence end of the horny spectrum?:)



    *puts ilovesleep on 2 months probation with limited internet access at work,whilst mentally noting that I cannot be alone with her and her pimplyarse*





  • #48
    Shane732
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,965 ✭✭✭Shane732


    Right so, I'll do the phone hacking.......


  • #49
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    cesc77 wrote: »
    We're going to need a private eye for,well,special enquiries/investigations.

    Youll be off the books and no-one will ever know:pac:

    That'll do, I'll just lurk around in the reception, massaging my knob while I wait for further notice.


  • #50
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    stupidusername wrote: »
    what's left to be taken?


    Bear with me,Im on the go and have so much to organise.

    From memory...we need:

    Patronising newsreader columnist

    Deputy proofreader:pac:

    Animal advice expert(no convictions)

    Fcukin Bullsh1t Brainwashing Cnut....sorry...Environmental advice err expert

    Cheap Bstard...sorry....Cant think of the title offhand....Compare the Marketer type person.

    Weatherman(uck off M.Fish..dont even think about it..:mad:)

    Film Critic(Pronunciation of the letter "R"is a pre-requisite)

    Auto expert

    Paper-cutter(with guillotine)Experience required and 8 fingers

    Inker

    Delivery Driver

    Tea-maker

    Carry-out/smokes getter

    Best Boy

    Grip

    2x General Gimp

    Sorry,Ill expand more when I havent got so much to think about.

    Which position do you think you could fill best and why?


  • #51
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    While scratching my flute I can make the tea as well.


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  • #52
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I wouldn't mind making a bit of tea, wouldn't be much use for anythin else... maybe page 3... or 4. or 10. :o


  • #53
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »
    While scratching my flute I can make the tea as well.


    Youre a multi-tasker Beer.I like it..I like it a lot.

    Just wash hands first. k?


  • #54
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    cesc77 wrote: »
    Youre a multi-tasker Beer.I like it..I like it a lot.

    Just wash hands first. k?

    No problemo sir.


  • #55
    cesc77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭cesc77


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I wouldn't mind making a bit of tea, wouldn't be much use for anythin else... maybe page 3... or 4. or 10. :o


    Focus Mr sername....Calm the fcuk down.Do you have ADHD?

    OK,well Ill let you into a wee secret.

    You have a use in life as much as anyone else does.

    Now....what are you reallllly good at and what do you enjoy doing?

    (WORK RELATED ANSWER PLEASE)


  • #56
    W.Shakes-Beer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    *cough*Mrs. Sername *cough*

    Hence the offer of boobs

    An advisory role for me I think.


  • #57
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    cesc77 wrote: »
    Focus Mr sername....Calm the fcuk down.Do you have ADHD?

    OK,well Ill let you into a wee secret.

    You have a use in life as much as anyone else does.

    Now....what are you reallllly good at and what do you enjoy doing?

    (WORK RELATED ANSWER PLEASE)

    good at moaning. must enjoy it a bit to do it so much i suppose. that or.....yeah that's it.


  • #58
    ilovesleep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭ilovesleep


    We need a place to fill an ex-taoiseach? A money grabbing cnut will do.


  • #59
    Krieg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,378 ✭✭✭Krieg


    Supplemental magazine included?


  • #60
    theboss80
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,838 ✭✭✭theboss80


    ilovesleep wrote: »
    We need a place to fill an ex-taoiseach? A money grabbing cnut will do.

    Is your pimple gone?


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  • #61
    ballsymchugh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,943 ✭✭✭ballsymchugh


    who's going to do those dilemma pictures, you know where crystal calls for holly to show off her new underwear, and then gordon calls home early to find them feeling each other and holly winks at him, but crystal isn't sure..


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