Relationship prerequisites and deal-breakers

CroatoanCat · 03-07-2011 02:05AM #1

I'm sure this has been done before, but sure how and ever....

What are your prerequisites and deal-breakers when it comes to relationships (as opposed to one-nighters, although there may, of course, be some overlap)?

I'll set the ball rolling.....

Prerequisites:

Kindness (vastly underrated characteristic, IMHO)
Loyalty, with a committed aspiration to total fidelity within a relationship
A passion for something - whether sport, music, politics, a hobby (frapping does not qualify) - anything, just a strong passion for something
An affection and respect for family, children and animals (not necessarily in that order)
A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:

Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings
An aversion to animals and children
Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)
A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity
Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk
An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.

Superbus · 03-07-2011 02:06AM

Frapping?

chin_grin · 03-07-2011 02:07AM

[QUOTE=CroatoanCat;73099242
[/LIST]Deal-breakers:

Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings
An aversion to animals and children
Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)
A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity
Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk
An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.[/QUOTE]

So playing Doom is out of the question?

and

A what accent? :P

EGAR · 03-07-2011 02:09AM

Deal-breakers:

The need to make ones requirements/aversions public via boards.ie

starbelgrade · 03-07-2011 02:10AM

I've never made a list or set any standards. Apart from the other person being easy on the eye, easy on the mind & easy to get on with.

03-07-2011 02:10AM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm sure this has been done before, but sure how and ever....

What are your prerequisites and deal-breakers when it comes to relationships (as opposed to one-nighters, although there may, of course, be some overlap)?

I'll set the ball rolling.....

Prerequisites:
Kindness (vastly underrated characteristic, IMHO)

Loyalty, with a committed aspiration to total fidelity within a relationship

A passion for something - whether sport, music, politics, a hobby (frapping does not qualify) - anything, just a strong passion for something

An affection and respect for family, children and animals (not necessarily in that order)

A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:
Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings

An aversion to animals and children

Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)

A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity

Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk

An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.

Frapping?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frapped

:eek:

Hasmunch · 03-07-2011 02:12AM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery

Ironic reason is ironic!

later12 · 03-07-2011 02:12AM

Pre-requisites

likes giving head:)

Deal breaker

dislikes giving head.:mad:

Hasmunch · 03-07-2011 02:13AM

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Frapping?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frapped

:eek:

Crapping your pants 4 times a day is fine though :pac:

CroatoanCat · 03-07-2011 02:14AM

Hasmunch wrote: »

Ironic reason is ironic!

Touché

CroatoanCat · 03-07-2011 02:17AM

Hasmunch wrote: »

Crapping your pants 4 times a day is fine though :pac:

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

CroatoanCat · 03-07-2011 02:18AM

EGAR wrote: »

Deal-breakers:

The need to make ones requirements/aversions public via boards.ie

Harsh but fair, dude.

It's only a bit of fun?

Sinfonia · 03-07-2011 02:20AM

"Eating"... How vulgar

starbelgrade · 03-07-2011 02:22AM

I think someone was watching Bridget Jones Diary earlier.

Not looking at you, OP.

OutlawPete · 03-07-2011 02:25AM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

Prerequisites:
A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:
An aversion to eating the lady parts

Sounds to me like you're looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMERPNrprkk

Hasmunch · 03-07-2011 02:25AM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

Fap is the word you are looking for my good woman... now go forth and tell the world and fap to your hearts content

AnamGlas · 03-07-2011 02:26AM

Dear OP,

*fapping*

That is all

Senna · 03-07-2011 02:27AM

Prerequisites:

1. Sandwich making ability.

Deal-breakers:

1. Made a Tuna sandwich.

Lorri_L · 03-07-2011 02:29AM

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

Its fapping.
Really regretting using urban dictionary to look up tarmacing now though :eek:

Chuck Stone · 03-07-2011 02:30AM

If I were to put an advertisement in a dating thingy it would go something like this.

Man with high expectations seeks - wonderful, sexy, compassionate, great cook, great in bed, liberal, smart woman between 25 yrs and 30 yrs with low expectations.

Move along - nothing to see here.

starbelgrade · 03-07-2011 02:31AM

Lorri_L wrote: »

Its fapping.
Really regretting using urban dictionary to look up tarmacing now though :eek:

I just looked that up after reading your post.

Holy fuck. :eek: That's some sick stuff.

Hasmunch · 03-07-2011 02:35AM

Just looked up tarmacing there now, its disgusting.

heres a link to a vid (poor quality though)

NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38UhEMQ4C9w

Lorri_L · 03-07-2011 02:35AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

I just looked that up after reading your post.

Holy fuck. :eek: That's some sick stuff.

I know right. Those things should come with a warning that you really might be better off not knowing about it.

dark crystal · 03-07-2011 02:35AM

Prerequisites:

Good sense of humour
Good kisser
Intelligence
Not a mammy's boy

Deal breakers:

No sense of humour
Kisses like a dog licks it's balls
dumb, with no opinions
Still let's mammy wash, iron, cook, clean up for him.

pragmatic1 · 03-07-2011 03:22AM

Prerequisites:
Kind
Intelligent
Good company
A whore in the bedroom.

Deal breakers:
Being a dumb, loud, superficial bitch.

Super-Rush · 03-07-2011 03:34AM

As long as she has a hole and a heartbeat i'm happy.

Heartbeat is optional.

starbelgrade · 03-07-2011 03:36AM

super-rush wrote: »

As long as she has a hole and a heartbeat i'm happy.

Heartbeat is optional.

Jaysus Super. I know it's late 'n all - but how long did it take you to dusy off that oul cracker?!!!

Super-Rush · 03-07-2011 03:40AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

Jaysus Super. I know it's late 'n all - but how long did it take you to dusy off that oul cracker?!!!

I'm sorry. Its been a long long night.

CroatoanCat · 03-07-2011 09:23AM

AnamGlas wrote: »

Dear OP,

*fapping*

That is all

Ah, fapping. Fapping. I still think frapping is a more intuitive word, it's more muscular, or something.

I seem to have form with this type of confusion. Years ago, fresh-faced and innocent, I started working in a local newsagent to be met with a campaign of harassment by the local young lads. One day they came in, smirking and gurning,and hoodlum no. 1 says: "10 John Player Blue, five bags of tayto, three cans of coke and a can of jiz". Off I go, gathering the requested items. Cigs, tayto, coke. Em, jiz. Jiz? Apologetically: "I'm sorry, I have no jiz. Would you like another coke instead?" Hoodlum no. 1: "Ah you're all right, we have plenty of jiz. Bye." Me, baffled.

Ah, salad days.

</Tangent>

Eve_Dublin · 03-07-2011 10:49AM

Prerequites:

Larger than average downstairs.

Smart as a button

Hilarious

Sound

Hairy

Likes socialising and makes an effort with my friends.

Deal breaker:

Waxes chest hair.

Smaller than average sios an staighre.

Thick.

Has crap taste in music.

Doesn't brush teeth.

Stinginess.

Makes too many lead balloon jokes.

orourkeda · 03-07-2011 10:56AM

does a passion for **** 6 times a day count

Relationship prerequisites and deal-breakers

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