Relationship prerequisites and deal-breakers

CroatoanCat

I'm sure this has been done before, but sure how and ever....

What are your prerequisites and deal-breakers when it comes to relationships (as opposed to one-nighters, although there may, of course, be some overlap)?

I'll set the ball rolling.....


Prerequisites:

1. Kindness (vastly underrated characteristic, IMHO)
2. Loyalty, with a committed aspiration to total fidelity within a relationship
3. A passion for something - whether sport, music, politics, a hobby (frapping does not qualify) - anything, just a strong passion for something
4. An affection and respect for family, children and animals (not necessarily in that order)
5. A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:

1. Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings
2. An aversion to animals and children
3. Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)
4. A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity
5. Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk
6. An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.

Superbus

Frapping?

chin_grin

[QUOTE=CroatoanCat;73099242
[/LIST]Deal-breakers:

1. Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings
2. An aversion to animals and children
3. Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)
4. A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity
5. Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk
6. An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.[/QUOTE]

So playing Doom is out of the question?

and

A what accent? :P

EGAR

Deal-breakers:

The need to make ones requirements/aversions public via boards.ie

starbelgrade

I've never made a list or set any standards. Apart from the other person being easy on the eye, easy on the mind & easy to get on with.

Valentina

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm sure this has been done before, but sure how and ever....

What are your prerequisites and deal-breakers when it comes to relationships (as opposed to one-nighters, although there may, of course, be some overlap)?

I'll set the ball rolling.....


Prerequisites:

1. Kindness (vastly underrated characteristic, IMHO)
2. Loyalty, with a committed aspiration to total fidelity within a relationship
3. A passion for something - whether sport, music, politics, a hobby (frapping does not qualify) - anything, just a strong passion for something
4. An affection and respect for family, children and animals (not necessarily in that order)
5. A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:

1. Cruelty and lack of concern for others' feelings
2. An aversion to animals and children
3. Frapping more than five times a day (as part of a biceps maintenance programme)
4. A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity
5. Religious or political fanatacism of any ilk
6. An aversion to eating the lady parts

*I have confined myself to five prerequisites and six deal-breakers; feel free to share as many or as few as you like. Thank you please.

Frapping?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frapped

:eek:

Hasmunch

CroatoanCat wrote: »

DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery

Ironic reason is ironic!

later12

Pre-requisites

• likes giving head:)

Deal breaker

• dislikes giving head.:mad:

Hasmunch

ThurstonWhore wrote: »

Frapping?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frapped

:eek:

Crapping your pants 4 times a day is fine though :pac:

CroatoanCat

Hasmunch wrote: »

Ironic reason is ironic!

Touché

CroatoanCat

Hasmunch wrote: »

Crapping your pants 4 times a day is fine though :pac:

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

CroatoanCat

EGAR wrote: »

Deal-breakers:

The need to make ones requirements/aversions public via boards.ie

Harsh but fair, dude.

It's only a bit of fun?

Sinfonia

"Eating"... How vulgar

starbelgrade

I think someone was watching Bridget Jones Diary earlier.


Not looking at you, OP.

OutlawPete

CroatoanCat wrote: »

Prerequisites:

1. A voracious appetite for eating the lady parts

Deal-breakers:

1. An aversion to eating the lady parts

Sounds to me like you're looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMERPNrprkk

Hasmunch

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

Fap is the word you are looking for my good woman... now go forth and tell the world and fap to your hearts content

AnamGlas

Dear OP,

*fapping*

That is all

Senna

Prerequisites:

1. Sandwich making ability.

Deal-breakers:

1. Made a Tuna sandwich.

Lorri_L

CroatoanCat wrote: »

I'm trying to be down with the kids! I though frapping was w%nking :eek:. Niiiiiiiiiiiice. I've learned something new, to add to my discovery the other day of "tarmacing". Ex-Sky Sports presenters are nasty.

Its fapping.
Really regretting using urban dictionary to look up tarmacing now though :eek:

Chuck Stone

If I were to put an advertisement in a dating thingy it would go something like this.

Man with high expectations seeks - wonderful, sexy, compassionate, great cook, great in bed, liberal, smart woman between 25 yrs and 30 yrs with low expectations.

Move along - nothing to see here.

starbelgrade

Lorri_L wrote: »

Its fapping.
Really regretting using urban dictionary to look up tarmacing now though :eek:

I just looked that up after reading your post.

Holy fuck. :eek: That's some sick stuff.

Hasmunch

Just looked up tarmacing there now, its disgusting.

heres a link to a vid (poor quality though)

NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38UhEMQ4C9w

Lorri_L

starbelgrade wrote: »

I just looked that up after reading your post.

Holy fuck. :eek: That's some sick stuff.

I know right. Those things should come with a warning that you really might be better off not knowing about it.

dark crystal

Prerequisites:

Good sense of humour
Good kisser
Intelligence
Not a mammy's boy

Deal breakers:

No sense of humour
Kisses like a dog licks it's balls
dumb, with no opinions
Still let's mammy wash, iron, cook, clean up for him.

pragmatic1

Prerequisites:
Kind
Intelligent
Good company
A whore in the bedroom.

Deal breakers:
Being a dumb, loud, superficial bitch.

Super-Rush

As long as she has a hole and a heartbeat i'm happy.

Heartbeat is optional.

starbelgrade

super-rush wrote: »

As long as she has a hole and a heartbeat i'm happy.

Heartbeat is optional.

Jaysus Super. I know it's late 'n all - but how long did it take you to dusy off that oul cracker?!!!

Super-Rush

starbelgrade wrote: »

Jaysus Super. I know it's late 'n all - but how long did it take you to dusy off that oul cracker?!!!

I'm sorry. Its been a long long night.

CroatoanCat

AnamGlas wrote: »

Dear OP,

*fapping*

That is all

Ah, fapping. Fapping. I still think frapping is a more intuitive word, it's more muscular, or something.

I seem to have form with this type of confusion. Years ago, fresh-faced and innocent, I started working in a local newsagent to be met with a campaign of harassment by the local young lads. One day they came in, smirking and gurning,and hoodlum no. 1 says: "10 John Player Blue, five bags of tayto, three cans of coke and a can of jiz". Off I go, gathering the requested items. Cigs, tayto, coke. Em, jiz. Jiz? Apologetically: "I'm sorry, I have no jiz. Would you like another coke instead?" Hoodlum no. 1: "Ah you're all right, we have plenty of jiz. Bye." Me, baffled.

Ah, salad days.

</Tangent>

Eve_Dublin

Prerequites:

Larger than average downstairs.

Smart as a button

Hilarious

Sound

Hairy

Likes socialising and makes an effort with my friends.

Deal breaker:

Waxes chest hair.

Smaller than average sios an staighre.

Thick.

Has crap taste in music.

Doesn't brush teeth.

Stinginess.

Makes too many lead balloon jokes.

orourkeda

does a passion for **** 6 times a day count

Micky Dolenz

Willing to sleep with me.

Deal breaker

Is/ was a man.

whadafook

Anal

NSNO

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Willing to sleep with me.

Deal breaker

Is/ was a man.

Someone's being a bit picky, aren't they?

7sr2z3fely84g5

"friends" with ex,im sorry jst fck off!.

stateofflux

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Prerequites:

Larger than average downstairs.

Smart as a button

Hilarious

Sound

Hairy

Likes socialising and makes an effort with my friends.

Deal breaker:

Waxes chest hair.

Smaller than average sios an staighre.

Thick.

Has crap taste in music.

Doesn't brush teeth.

Stinginess.

Makes too many lead balloon jokes.

ah yes, the perfect man...does'nt exist im afraid...there will always be lead balloon jokes

The Orb

A DORT accent & its attendant class snobbery and insecurity

Like you are exhibiting there, judging somebody by their accent, pot, kettle etc.

fraggle1

Funny, Kindness & down to earth

Dealbreaker

Snobbishness & meanness (ie: someone who dissects the bill in a restaurant, ie: you had a glass of wine, I had coke...etc etc instead of just splitting the bill!
Arrrghhh! Taxi!!

Liam Byrne

Hmmm.....someone has an unhealthy fixation if they put the same thing in twice in terms of eating lady parts!

If it's a requirement then OBVIOUSLY the opposite is a deal-breaker.

So why put it in twice?

spagboll

deal breaker:

pop music/reality tv shows/glossy magazines are an important part of her life

stupidusername

prerequisites would be the usual really, only superbly good looking only because i've been with someone that i kinda fancied, more for personality, and turns out it does matter.

bnt

CroatoanCat wrote: »

Prerequisites: ... An affection and respect for family, children and animals (not necessarily in that order)
...
Deal-breakers: ... An aversion to animals and children
...

The Children thing needs a bit more explanation. Do you mean:

• doesn't hate them, can stand to be around them? or
• actively wants to have (your) children?

Two very different questions. I'm OK with other people's kids, but would never want to be a Father of kids - my own or anyone else's. I was a kid once - I remember what I was like, and would not wish that on anyone. :P

mikom

Must love dags.

Alter-Ego

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Hmmm.....someone has an unhealthy fixation if they put the same thing in twice in terms of eating lady parts!

If it's a requirement then OBVIOUSLY the opposite is a deal-breaker.

So why put it in twice?

She must just really like having the flaps munched off her.

Simple pleasures.

Snowie

truth fully
: kinky
:relaxed
: gsoh
: not to expectant
: independent ie Not 50,000 text mesages a day
: dress well
: pretty

Turn offs
:high maintainance (ie Drama- I was once on pof and she said quite happilly yeah im a drama queen i didn't reply!
: bad sense in fasion
: bright red hair its like every woman in ireland has it these days its fookin awfull to look at
: obnoxous
: ewww thats gross

Kevin Duffy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Prerequites:

Larger than average downstairs.

Smart as a button

Hilarious

Sound

Hairy

Likes socialising and makes an effort with my friends.

Well, isn't that interesting....how you doin'? :cool:

Prerequisites for me; must be a sarcastic and hot.

Dealbreaker; doesn't get my sense of humour. We'll work on the rest.

Eric Cartman

pre requesits :

good looking
can cook
likes cleaning
dislikes wearing clothes
is rich
loves drinking
incapable of making kids
is mute
remembers to buy bacon all the time

turn offs
kids/ pets or want of either
wearing clothes
more than 2 pairs of shoes
talking
has a cock

PK2008

Prerequisites:

Keeps her mouth shut and her legs open

Deal breaker:

Irish

Tesco Massacre

Dealbreaker: plays the pan pipes, or believes contemporary hits set to the music of pan pipes is acceptable.

desertcircus

Absolute and total dealbreaker: casual bigotry or racism.

Eric Cartman

desertcircus wrote: »

Absolute and total dealbreaker: casual bigotry or racism.

so basically no AH posters