Randomly Drinking with Millionaires: Short Story

Live4Ever wrote: »

Maybe be a little long for AH but it is the right size for a short story!

Here you go OP.

I thought that was a great story.

Aoifey! wrote: »

Riiiight, and what had you been taking this day?

sounds like he was taking alcohol... you should try it sometime... makes you time travel...

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

Seachmall wrote: »

Can anyone summarize it? Way too long for my short attention span.

Op date raped by older guy.

My mom's friend married a bloke who's like the CEO or a director or something of Premier Foods (parent company of Mr Kipling, Hovis, Bisto, Sharwoods... whatever.

Had a drink in a pub a few months back sat between him and a 50 year old bloke from the arse end of Kerry

what a crap story. Why should we care if some rich gay guy was trying to get you into bed?

Moved to Chicago last year.

It was my room mates birthday in January. We went out on the Saturday night with a bunch of people, lots of drinks and fun etc. On the Sunday night I asked him if he wanted to go grab a "quiet one" in some Oirish pub. I looked up the best Guinness in Chicago, and apparently it's at this place called Celtic Crossings. We get there and it turns out it's run by these two Irish guys, one from Waterford and one from Westmeath. It's January, so it's freezing out and there's a roaring fire going on inside. We decide to sit next to the fire after we get our pints.

We head up to the bar, order 2 Guinness'. The "barkeep" asks me where I'm from, "Ennis, Co. Clare" I respond. Then this American guy at the bar pipes up, "Ennis? Well that's my favourite place in the world!". So my room mate and I end up sitting at the bar with this guy and his wife. We get chatting, turns out he's been to Ennis 13 times, knows it pretty well. After being away for so long, it was nice to talk to someone about home. My roomie and I had only reached the top of the Harp on the pint glass when the guy orders us another round. We thank him kindly, he says "Don't worry about it. I'm a millionaire, I got plen'y of money!". He shows us his business card "Pat *****, Mr. Globe Trotting Playboy Big Shot", and his wife shows us hers "Mary *****, Mrs Big Shot".

Turns out the guy owns an Irish pub in Wisconsin and was just in Chicago for the weekend. The conversation soon gets interesting. He tells us about one time he was staying in the Clarion in Limerick, and he went down to the bar, "The place was full of Japs". "Sorry?" I said. "Japs! You know, those Asian guys, ****ed s at Pearl Harbour. The bar was full of them! They were behind the bar, at the bar, so I got the hell out of there!". I was a little shocked at what he was saying so just nodded.

Then they tell us about the time they were in Ennis and their daughter was with them. "She was with us one time, and she started asking for Chinky food!". I thought I had misheard her so once again I said "Sorry?". The wife replies " You know (pulls back her eyes to make slits) Chinky food! Chinks! Those Asian bastards! I don't know why she likes that crap". Needless to say, my roomie and I were fairly shocked at what we were hearing.

At some point, the husband decided that his wife was getting a bit rowdy so he told her to "Shut up and drink your Guinness". Under her breath she muttered back "You shut up". He heard her and gave her the glare "What?! Don't you dare talk to me like that". She fell back in line. He then started telling us about how he's on the board of directors for the Greenbay Packers, who were playing the Superbowl pretty soon. They then decided to get their coats and leave. They parted one last piece of advice on us " You guys are young. Go down to the Kerryman. You'll get ****ed if you go there". And then they left.

It was a pretty interesting evening. I never thought that coming from Ennis would get me a pint and some advice from a racist millionaire whose on the board of directors for the Greenbay Packers.

Sorry the story was so long, but I felt it had to be told in full. The roomie and I ended staying for 3 more pints after that and met a woman was trained to be a lawyer, did something with books, and is now unemployed and goes to bars to eavesdrop and write down people's conversations. I hope we gave her something she'll remember.

And finally, I have yet to go to the Kerryman

sunflower27 wrote: »

Yawn. Yes I do deny, on all four counts.

So you admit to knowing that these four men were Counts?

Mickjg wrote: »

Moved to Chicago last year.

It was my room mates birthday in January. We went out on the Saturday night with a bunch of people, lots of drinks and fun etc. On the Sunday night I asked him if he wanted to go grab a "quiet one" in some Oirish pub. I looked up the best Guinness in Chicago, and apparently it's at this place called Celtic Crossings. We get there and it turns out it's run by these two Irish guys, one from Waterford and one from Westmeath. It's January, so it's freezing out and there's a roaring fire going on inside. We decide to sit next to the fire after we get our pints.

We head up to the bar, order 2 Guinness'. The "barkeep" asks me where I'm from, "Ennis, Co. Clare" I respond. Then this American guy at the bar pipes up, "Ennis? Well that's my favourite place in the world!". So my room mate and I end up sitting at the bar with this guy and his wife. We get chatting, turns out he's been to Ennis 13 times, knows it pretty well. After being away for so long, it was nice to talk to someone about home. My roomie and I had only reached the top of the Harp on the pint glass when the guy orders us another round. We thank him kindly, he says "Don't worry about it. I'm a millionaire, I got plen'y of money!". He shows us his business card "Pat *****, Mr. Globe Trotting Playboy Big Shot", and his wife shows us hers "Mary *****, Mrs Big Shot".

Turns out the guy owns an Irish pub in Wisconsin and was just in Chicago for the weekend. The conversation soon gets interesting. He tells us about one time he was staying in the Clarion in Limerick, and he went down to the bar, "The place was full of Japs". "Sorry?" I said. "Japs! You know, those Asian guys, ****ed s at Pearl Harbour. The bar was full of them! They were behind the bar, at the bar, so I got the hell out of there!". I was a little shocked at what he was saying so just nodded.

Then they tell us about the time they were in Ennis and their daughter was with them. "She was with us one time, and she started asking for Chinky food!". I thought I had misheard her so once again I said "Sorry?". The wife replies " You know (pulls back her eyes to make slits) Chinky food! Chinks! Those Asian bastards! I don't know why she likes that crap". Needless to say, my roomie and I were fairly shocked at what we were hearing.

At some point, the husband decided that his wife was getting a bit rowdy so he told her to "Shut up and drink your Guinness". Under her breath she muttered back "You shut up". He heard her and gave her the glare "What?! Don't you dare talk to me like that". She fell back in line. He then started telling us about how he's on the board of directors for the Greenbay Packers, who were playing the Superbowl pretty soon. They then decided to get their coats and leave. They parted one last piece of advice on us " You guys are young. Go down to the Kerryman. You'll get ****ed if you go there". And then they left.

It was a pretty interesting evening. I never thought that coming from Ennis would get me a pint and some advice from a racist millionaire whose on the board of directors for the Greenbay Packers.

Sorry the story was so long, but I felt it had to be told in full. The roomie and I ended staying for 3 more pints after that and met a woman was trained to be a lawyer, did something with books, and is now unemployed and goes to bars to eavesdrop and write down people's conversations. I hope we gave her something she'll remember.

And finally, I have yet to go to the Kerryman

Hmm worked in that clarion, think there was one asian girl working in the restaurant in the last few years (that i can recall). Not beyond belief that she might work in bar the odd night, but thats only one!
Much more Irish and other european people working there.
Wish i knew millionaire was in house :P