Randomly Drinking with Millionaires: Short Story

Live4Ever

Anyone ever had the pleasure? Here's my story....

Me and a friend were on the West Coast for 2 weeks, on the way home we had a connecting flight in Chicago. Anyway our flight to DUB was delayed so we had a few hours to kill.

We sat down at the counter in a little bar playing Brazilian football on the TV. A pint of Samuel Adams was $10.50!! Typical airport prices and we were down to our last few quid (Vegas had got the better of us!). There was a guy right beside me in his 30's. We eventually got talking.

He obviously realized we were Irish and with 3 minutes was shouting at the bar woman:
"A round a shots for my Ayrish buddies"

"Ah no man, we're grand, we'll only end up puking and we're pretty fcuked already, plus the shots are $13, thanks anyway though!"

"Are you guys kidding me?! Start living up to your Irish name you fcukers. Barkeep, two double JD's for these guys, and while your at it, freshen up their beers aswell."

"Ehhh, ok thanks man"

So anyway the shots arrive in a glass (it was a triple if your going by Irish standards). We neck the shots much to the amusement of the yank, and down half the beer.

"Rack em up again barkeep!"

We look at each other "Oh ****!" Now normally I'm never a guy to turn down free drink, but when you've been drinking constantly for two weeks and are about to board an 8 hour flight..... The second round of shots appears and of course we neck them aswell.

So he starts telling us he's on his way to Kansas on business. He tells us he is a consultant to big Multi Nationals and "has more money than he knows how to spend". He whips out the phone and shows us a few pictures of him and a few Lamborghinis blah blah blah. Now you may think he was taking the piss, but he was loaded, I fairly sure you need to be to get a Black American Express...

"Man, if I had met you guys in Vegas, fcuk, I'd have the drinks flowing and 2 girls each for you guys!"

Anyway he ends up buying us 4 rounds of double shots and beers and needless to say our back teeth are floating. Through the haze I can just about figure out that our flight will be boarding soon. Our new friend is sad to see us go and makes sure we have a pint (in a plastic cup) for our walk to the gate. We make sure to buy him a beer and a double Jameson before we leave.

We eventually find the gate, and it turns out it's still delayed. We considered going back to our new mate but decided a safer bet was to sit at the bar directly opposite our gate.

At this stage we were sh*tfaced and ordered another beer. The second we opened our mouth we hear:

"Hey, you guys are Ayrish eh? Barkeep this ones on me. Hi, I'm Marty." as a man in his 50's pulls up a stool.

"Heading to Dahblin eh?"

Turns out this guy was high up in some Pharmaceutical company and going to Dublin for business. To be honest I can't remember much of the conversation other than that he was a keen 'hurley ball' fan and bought us about 4 or 5 beers each.

Anyway the flight boards and we take our seats, not before giving Brendan Gleeson a rambunctious 'Howiya' as we talk through First Class. Sure enough there's Marty giving us the thumbs up, sitting 2 rows behind Brendan.

"Snacks, Snacks" yelled the air hostess some time later.

"Two Jack and Cokes please"

"Now, we gotta charge for alcoholic beverages Sir"

"No problem, we'll take 2 cokes please" as I reach into my bag for the 1L 50% Smirnoff I picked up in Duty Free.

Don't remember much after that, I have vague memories of standing down the back joking with all the air hostess'. Next thing I know I'm being violently shook by one of them.

"Sir, haha, I've been trying to wake you guys for ages, we're landing in 3 minutes, so put your seats in the upright position" as she hands me back about 100ml of Vodka. Apparently it's illegal to pour your own drink on a transatlantic...

Anyway we arrive in Dublin, pretty destroyed. But hey, at least the flight home felt like 20 minutes! There's nothing like a free session paid for by random rich guys, wish I had met him in Vegas.....

Aoifey!

Riiiight, and what had you been taking this day?

prinz

So.......it was all a dream...

Wetai

Who the hell says "barkeep".
I'm out.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Obviously you are not familiar with the concept of "short".

knird evol

Did you put out?

mikemac

I believe you OP

As that story was so long and boring nobody would go to the effort of inventing it

theboss80

When did this come out? is it in 3D?

Seachmall

Can anyone summarize it? Way too long for my short attention span.

sunflower27

Seachmall wrote: »

Can anyone summarize it? Way too long for my short attention span.

OP randomly met millionaire at bar, he bought OP and friend overpriced drinks. OP had a great flight back as was twisted and the 8-hour flight seemed like 20mins.

My name is URL

He sounds like a bit of a knob

sunflower27

My name is URL wrote: »

He sounds like a bit of a knob

Possibly, but would you have refused the free drinks? I wouldn't.:p;)

theboss80

Seachmall wrote: »

Can anyone summarize it? Way too long for my short attention span.

Something about Ruffies

mikemac

Do Americans realy say barkeep?

Uncle Mclovin

Was anyone else waiting for something amazing to happen at the end of the story.

blaze1

I beleive you op..

I was delayed in San Franciso a few years back with the mrs.. didnt meet any millionaires but had great craic :cool:

Turkana

I was invited to a big function held at the residence of the Dutch ambassador to Uganda. They were celebrating queens day, the Dutch version of St. Paddy's day. Full of business people and suits and ties... I'm sure there must have been a few rich cnuts there.... that's about it.

youcancallmeal

Sounds like a rough idea for a Ross O'Carroll Kelly story

Bazzy

Cant see this making it to the list of legendary threads !

prinz

mikemac wrote: »

Do Americans realy say barkeep?

Never heard barkeep being used. Bartender yes.

Where To

whew thats the longest short story i've ever read

policarp

LiamN wrote: »

Who the hell says "barkeep".
I'm out.

His name Stuart.
Bar steward...

sambora

Was this just a drunken fuelled dream on the plane journey home? lol

ronan45

Read some of the story.... U sure he was a "Millionaire" lol:D
I buyz drinks too

paddydriver

So did the spinning top stay spinning or fall over at the end?

Marty McFly

Was really expecting some crazy ending to that story like woke up in the nip or some Neil Prendervile kinda thing of, not got woken up by air hostess were landing end of.


Plus Americans love buying the Irish drunk for some reason you even get that in town on Paddys day over here.

prinz

ronan45 wrote: »

Read some of the story.... U sure he was a "Millionaire" lol:DI buyz drinks too

He had his photo taken at work once. Most fun time he ever had as a car salesman.

OutlawPete

LiamN wrote: »

Who the hell says "barkeep".

Millionaire pharmaceutical tycoons with a penchant for Vegas hookers it would seem.

Standard Toaster

Was his name Withnail?

prinz

OutlawPete wrote: »

Millionaire pharmaceutical tycoons with a penchant for Vegas hookers it would seem.

Charlie Sheen? Ayoooooooooooooh. Yes I went there.

Live4Ever

Yeah, he kept saying 'Barkeep' we laughed every time he said it, it was very very funny.

Defo a millionaire as he had a Black American Express.

Apologies if it's too long, needed something to do to make work go by quicker its so boring today, plus this all happened on Sunday so it's fresh in my head, and it's definetly not a dream. Maybe be a little long for AH but it is the right size for a short story!

theboss80

Live4Ever wrote: »

Maybe be a little long for AH but it is the right size for a short story!

Here you go OP.

donvito99

Had lunch with a few well off lawyers who used to work for a large, multinational (and controversial) company, and a Malaysian man who owns a series of factories in Malaysia, Changi I think.

They kept calling him Billy, which wasn't his name.

2+2=?

... no wonder he picked up the tab:rolleyes:

temply

I thought that was a great story.

KTRIC

Did you have a sore arse and a facial tattoo when you woke up ??

Korvanica

Aoifey! wrote: »

Riiiight, and what had you been taking this day?

sounds like he was taking alcohol... you should try it sometime... makes you time travel...

prinz

Korvanica wrote: »

sounds like he was taking alcohol... you should try it sometime... makes you time travel...

Someone should have broken that news to the time travellers wife. Would have save me wasting 90 minutes of my life in the end.

LumpyGravy

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

phill106

Big sense of deja vu reading that, does it seem familiar to anyone else?

Zebra3

Seachmall wrote: »

Can anyone summarize it? Way too long for my short attention span.

Op date raped by older guy.

Voodoomelon

Fake story or not, it beats working, I enjoyed it.

brummytom

My mom's friend married a bloke who's like the CEO or a director or something of Premier Foods (parent company of Mr Kipling, Hovis, Bisto, Sharwoods... whatever.

Had a drink in a pub a few months back sat between him and a 50 year old bloke from the arse end of Kerry

User Friendly

My name is URL wrote: »

He sounds like a bit of a knob

so does the guy who bought the drinks for him:pac:

JimiWonderDoor 92

prinz wrote: »

So.......it was all a dream...

I used to read Word-Up Magazine.

df1985

it happens, same thing happened to me and a few of the lads in philidelphia, some yank heard the accents and the rounds started flowing while he went on about his massive ranches.....we didnt give a ****e, free booze!

Kevin Duffy

I play a millionaire at parties....at least, I'd like to.

man.about.town

i enjoyed your story op. i love the yanks, i think there brilliant

phasers

what a crap story. Why should we care if some rich gay guy was trying to get you into bed?

Zebra3

phasers wrote: »

what a crap story. Why should we care if some rich gay guy was trying to get you into bed?

Think he was trying to get him into the jacks.....

sunflower27

phasers wrote: »

what a crap story. Why should we care if some rich gay guy was trying to get you into bed?

Considering they were all waiting for flights I don't think he was trying to get anyone into bed.

What makes you think the guy was gay? just because he fancied a bit of banter with some Irish guys? I always talk to people when I am waiting for flights. I'm not gay. It's what people do.

Weird.

Mr.Crinklewood

sunflower27 wrote: »

Considering they were all waiting for flights I don't think he was trying to get anyone into bed.

What makes you think the guy was gay? just because he fancied a bit of banter with some Irish guys? I always talk to people when I am waiting for flights. I'm not gay. It's what people do.

Weird.

So do you deny sleeping with men in Rafael Núñez International Airport, Pogány International Airport, and Waterford Airport?

Do you also deny that you are the reason that Aérodrome Saint-Louis closed ?