Clothing, style, and dapper lesbians...

baby and crumble · 20-06-2011 01:07PM #1

Ok, i just checked out some of the tg questions thread, and there was a little debate going on in there around women dressing in masculine clothing, but not necessarily as a form of entertainment (a la drag kings) but as an everyday wardrobe.

it's something I've been batting about in my head. My wardrobe is mostly made up of masculine clothes, (cut for female shape), I wear boxers, I have an epic vintage cufflink collection, I wear masculine/ unisex scents (Tom Ford, Armani, etc) and I feel the most confident when I'm dressed to kill in jeans, a shirt, tie and a blazer or cardi.

BUT this has caused me some grief. Not external- I've never been called names or looked at weirdly for wearing the clothes I do. If anything, I get more compliments when I dress up. But I still feel like I'm looking 'too gay' or something ridiculous like that. So i stay in my comfy little box of jeans and a tee shirt most days, so I don't draw attention to myself. It's irritating, because it's not like I get negative attention, like I said.

I follow a bunch of style blogs, and some are directly related to this- I was just wondering if people (in particular the ladies of the forum) would find them interesting... (where there are stars, just put in fuck, boards wont let me link to a naughty word...)

http://****yeahbutches.tumblr.com/

http://****yeahchubbybutches.tumblr.com/

http://www.dapperq.com/

http://dapperanddandy.tumblr.com/

http://fitforafemme.com/blog/ (this one is mostly for the blog writers partners wardrobe- but tbh the writer is hot as hell!!!)

Chuchoter · 20-06-2011 01:17PM

Yay!! I'm always looking for these things and can never find any.

In terms of masculine clothing, I usually end up spending like a half an hour every morning balancing my distaste for girly clothes and not wanting to look really really gay because I think I give my friends enough fuel for gossip as it is :P. If I just picked one I'd probably do a lot better, because I really like the whole shirt vesty thing they have going on in all the blogs you posted! I'd probably end up looking like a page boy or something though :P

Aard · 20-06-2011 01:18PM

Is it that you want to appear a little more straight/feminine (bad words, but you know what I mean)? Tbh, I think it's all in the hair and how much boob curvature is on show.

(Also, I totally thought this thread was gonna be about Ellen de Generis.)

LegacyUser · 20-06-2011 01:23PM

Why do all lesbians dress all masculine

(btw not giving out to anyone here :P I'm just wallowing in my own sadness here that I can't find one single girly lesbian lol)

rainbow kirby · 20-06-2011 01:25PM

I absolutely love the way a lot of the stuff on the Dapper and Dandy tumblr looks, however most dressy masculine clothes look absolutely awful on me.

pride2011 wrote: »

Why do all lesbians dress all masculine

(btw not giving out to anyone here :P I'm just wallowing in my own sadness here that I can't find one single girly lesbian lol)

Not all of us do! It's just harder to notice more femme girls because they tend to be read as straight.

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 01:35PM

It is cute but it's also usually age significant, it's mostly worn by the younger generation of lebanese and is less pronounced in older women. I would feel like a drag king if I wore a waistcoat and and tie and shirt, not that it would be bad but it would have to be a very special occasion. My clothes are probably more influenced by musical styles (I was a punkette/bike riding/rock chick when I was younger so whips n chains excite me) or failing that tees and jeans.

baby and crumble · 20-06-2011 01:43PM

oooh, replies, YAY!

Asry: I don't want to appear more feminine, at all. I just want to get my head in line with the rest of me- when I do break out and dress the way I want to, I feel good, so maybe it's more about wanting to stand out, but not having the confidence? In straight world, in my fancy clothes I stand out, in gay world... not so much.

Why do all lesbians dress all masculine

(btw not giving out to anyone here I'm just wallowing in my own sadness here that I can't find one single girly lesbian lol)

Seriously? Man, they're everywhere! There are tons of style blogs devoted to them (try the Fit For a Femme link I posted above to get you started, she has LOADS of links)

As for the younger/older thing... I guess it is a little like that, but maybe it's more about how you're meant to dress when you hit late 20's like me... like, jeans and tees aren't what my straight friends wear anymore, so why should I? it looks stupid and childish, but because of fit and getting guys clothes to go on women, we can look a bit swamped (not me since I'm bleedin MASSIVE but you know what I mean!) and that makes women look even younger? I dunno. Plus there's that rite of passage you go through when you come out, of dressing 'gay'. I'm over it, though, and now I just want to dress like me. But I can't figure out how to dress grown up in the way t hat suits me and my personality...

Ho hum.

Platinum2010 · 20-06-2011 01:55PM

Kanoe wrote: »

I would feel like a drag king if I wore a waistcoat and and tie and shirt,

I love wearing that with crazy accessories , but I wear it in a very femme sorta way so I've been told

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 02:03PM

I've no boobs, I actually do get mistaken for a boy sometimes but yeah it is in vogue and it can be really stylish. I remember when I was in my late teens early twenties all women's jeans were cut with a really high waist and mostly tapered legs (urgh) so we used to buy mens 501's, much more comfortable would sit low waist and bootcut. I'm still inclined to wear jeans that way, but now they just make them like that for us. I have a striped top obsession too, if it's stripey I'll wear it. I'll layer tees, or wear off the shoulder cuts occasionally, and cardi's, I've a cardi fetish too.

The woman was talking the other day about being a bit of a girly girl (which she is) so I asked her if she thought I was, when she stopped laughing she said no and then I got all worried and asked if she thought I was a big butch then and she said no, that I was perfectly in the middle.

(I have been slagged for looking like the quinns but that's my kind of style..I'm old, and it suits me.)

Platinum2010 · 20-06-2011 02:09PM

Kanoe wrote: »

(I have been slagged for looking like the quinns but that's my kind of style..I'm old, and it suits me.)

The Quinns are?

Yeah you're old , and I'm Cyndie Laupers Mistress :rolleyes:

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 02:17PM

Platinum2010 wrote: »

The Quinns are?

Yeah you're old , and I'm Cyndie Laupers Mistress :rolleyes:

I haz mullet

Platinum2010 · 20-06-2011 02:53PM

Kanoe wrote: »

I haz mullet

GAHHHH Tegan and Sara ...I hate them

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 03:00PM

I think it comes down to attitude at the end of the day, I mean if you're a fiery hard core butch on the inside it will show on the outside regardless of how short your hair is or what way you wear your clothes. It not what you wear it's your personality that counts and clothes are really, eventually, just an expression of that.

Platinum2010 · 20-06-2011 03:10PM

I'm very fiery but I dont dress accordingly - appearances can be deceptive

lex123 · 20-06-2011 03:21PM

What ever u feel comfy in go for it,i dress casual all week dont see a point in dressing up until im goin out on the town or sumting like that!

Aoifums · 20-06-2011 04:10PM

Dress whatever you feel confident in really

If dressing really gay and fancy makes you feel fantastic then just do it.
I love waistcoats and bowties (I always end up stealing my friends' after a couple of drinks) I just wish I could get a proper cut woman's waistcoat. I always pair them with a dress though :P I don't think I could look butch if I tried.

Aishae · 20-06-2011 04:27PM

not a dapper dresser here - but i do have a set or red braces - for dressing up.
last time i dressed up, i was a lesbian gangster mafia bitch - i really had it down pat with the red walking stick and shoes that had a 1940 tap dancing feel. thats my sole claim to dapper fame. and that definitely on the sidelines of dapper. the only time i went so far as a trilby too.

attitude and whatever methods of self expression you use all come into play. i treat my body as i do a blank canvas (whack any old - sparkly - thing on it). had a barney with the mother yesterday about my decision to wear a floral dress that in her opinion was reminiscent of her mammys nightdress - i kept telling her she doesnt like it but I do and i felt like wearing it.
plenty of folks are heavily influenced by what everyone around them is wearing.
i was in dundrum and was pretty surprised when i noticed the majority of under 20 girls seemed to dress all the same. even the hair.
so force of personality must come into it too - regardless of whether youre gay or straight.
(to be fair to the younger girls - we're all a bit unsure of where we fit in at that age)

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 04:50PM

The daughter actually has a load of trilby's, waistcoats and tie's, she's had them since she was about 15, so I think she would kill me if I wore the same kind of stuff (or god forbid dated someone who wore the same stuff she does)..and at the same time it is something I associate with whats en vogue as younger girls style and I'm not really inclined that way. It would be bit fking weird too.

I've just got to add, in terms of style, my daughter (17) who's straight btw, is pretty much into everything that you folks are into, be it manga and cosplay or steampunk and trilby's, japanese culture, gaming, nyan cat and music, so generally they are the things I tend to avoid. It would be a little like you sitting amongst your mother and her peers and thinking, yeah..I'm not really into this.

baby and crumble · 20-06-2011 05:09PM

See, I don't think the kind of stuff I'm talking about wearing is remotely 'trendy' or young or whatever it is... I'm more talking about wearing something like this:

http://fitforafemme.com/blog/archives/6321 (had to just give the blog entry link cos the photo is MASSIVE!!!!!!!!!)

for work as opposed to the braces over tees and fedoras a la samantha ronson...

And i don't want to erase my ladybits, at all... tbh the clothes I wear enhance them, if anything. I don't want to look 'cool', I just want to look confident and project that across whatever room I'm in, you know? I think my clothes have a big part to play in that.

Like, for example, my brother is getting married this weekend. Now, most girls have it easy- find a nice dress, you're done. Guys have it easy- find a suit. People like me... I tried on a dress, and while it looked fine on my body, once I put my head onto the body with the dress on it, it looked so incredibly weird. Like a drag Queen had let herself go, a bit. I've settled on a couple of outfits (there's multiple ceremonies, don't ask...) that I have no idea if they're right or not. My GF likes them...

I seem to be taking this a bit too seriously, perhaps...

Aoifums · 20-06-2011 05:11PM

My (straight) friend dresses kinda like that giant photo. She's got a great body so anything looks fantastic on her (not saying you don't :P)

Kanoe · 20-06-2011 05:14PM

The last wedding I attended I wore a mauve? /burgundy (deep purply wine ish) tweed type two piece trouser suit with plain t cut top underneath, was nice and understated..and comfy. with boots

Platinum2010 · 20-06-2011 05:54PM

zoegh wrote: »

I seriously want her *droools uncontrollably *

BanzaiBk · 20-06-2011 08:16PM

I never cared much for clothes/etc before I came out. Now that I'm quite content with myself I suppose I do, using my friends' words, "gay it up" a bit. I enjoy the whole drama of dressing up but ofc some/most days I'm in jeans/shirt mode.

RiseToMe · 21-06-2011 08:55AM

First time poster long time lurker but I gotta agree. Myself an my partner are "civil partnershipping" (hate that word) in september and finding a decent three piece suit that suited a womans shape was almost impossible. Tailors don't do them, except for one in Dublin, and is severely limited in terms of style. Luckily we were window shopping after work and ending Up finding exactly what I wanted in the perfect colour, but it really was looking like it was gonna cause a lot of stress!!!

rainbow kirby · 21-06-2011 09:16AM

RiseToMe wrote: »

First time poster long time lurker but I gotta agree. Myself an my partner are "civil partnershipping" (hate that word) in september and finding a decent three piece suit that suited a womans shape was almost impossible. Tailors don't do them, except for one in Dublin, and is severely limited in terms of style. Luckily we were window shopping after work and ending Up finding exactly what I wanted in the perfect colour, but it really was looking like it was gonna cause a lot of stress!!!

Out of curiosity, where did you get this suit? Going to be looking for one myself early next year for a friend's wedding.

RiseToMe · 21-06-2011 09:29AM

Next actually, i wear suits for work but i ha a very set idea of what I wanted for the big day. The jacket isn't your typical short style, theres a nice bit of length in it. The waistcoat has four sets of double buttons and even has a button hole! And the pants are just a really nice shape and style. Was so surprised to find one, and amazingly thankful coz I've been looking for 4-6 months now!

allydylan · 30-06-2011 12:37PM

pride2011 wrote: »

Why do all lesbians dress all masculine

(btw not giving out to anyone here :P I'm just wallowing in my own sadness here that I can't find one single girly lesbian lol)

i'm not a masculine lesbian and i don't dress all masculine, i know plenty of feminine lesbians that are also single so don't believe the stereotypes

Platinum2010 · 30-06-2011 04:28PM

If you're looking for a femme lesbian , this city is not for you

apache · 30-06-2011 04:33PM

Platinum2010 wrote: »

If you're looking for a femme lesbian , this city is not for you

ah will you stop. theres loads around. and if you're really lucky you might bag yourself a bisexual!

Platinum2010 · 30-06-2011 04:34PM

apache wrote: »

ah will you stop. theres loads around.

none here

apache · 30-06-2011 04:35PM

lol wheres here? none at all? c'est impossible!

Clothing, style, and dapper lesbians...

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