Did you Ever

DERICKOO · 19-06-2011 09:02PM #1

I was cutting Chillies about 125000 ref for a nice stir fry with onions courgettes garlic a little lemon juice, dash of fish sauce squid brand.
Then
Got the leak to much wine hot sunned afternoon well i went and low and behold my Willie took off the hot, the burn, the fear the ultimate indignation the garden house I am left stumped, bedazzled, utter indignation.

the Strip loin I battered with indignity and vigour is nicely done as, as is me.

Chuck Stone · 19-06-2011 09:03PM

What in the name of muppetry are you on about?

Praetorian Saighdiuir · 19-06-2011 09:05PM

Did you Ever...............do English in school?

Snowie · 19-06-2011 09:06PM

bye the sounds of things he was cutting chillies and went for a piss and rubbed the resiidue on his penis...

which stings like fook unless your some what kinky :pac:

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 19-06-2011 09:06PM

yeah... I thin.... yeah

DERICKOO · 19-06-2011 09:08PM

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

bye the sounds of things he was cutting chillies and went for a piss and rubbed the resiidue on his penis...

which stings like fook unless your some what kinky :pac:

Yep you got it in one hole.

sorry not kinky

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 19-06-2011 09:08PM

DERICKOO wrote: »

Yep you got it in one hole.

He tried for two, oh well

alwaysadub · 19-06-2011 09:09PM

Must've been a big stir fry to be cutting 125000 chillies..

Snowie · 19-06-2011 09:11PM

DERICKOO wrote: »

Yep you got it in one hole.

sorry not kinky

no i didnt go near any hole so shut it...

that depends on what floats your boat....

El_Dangeroso · 19-06-2011 09:11PM

Is this thread in honour of Bloomsday?

W.Shakes-Beer · 19-06-2011 09:12PM

Sounds like he was cooking willies, but dropped the chilli he was eating, so had a glass of lemon juice instead.

He then battered the cock off himself and ate a steak.

Mint Sauce · 19-06-2011 09:13PM

Well I hope you remembered to wash your hands afterwards.

Ave Sodalis · 19-06-2011 09:13PM

Chuck Stone wrote: »

What in the name of muppetry are you on?

Fixed...

Typhoon. · 19-06-2011 09:14PM

must write for the independant

Solnskaya · 19-06-2011 09:14PM

new dish was then created - hot flute surprise - its very moreish.

u140acro3xs7dm · 19-06-2011 09:15PM

Chilli willy!!

DublinWriter · 19-06-2011 09:15PM

Drugs are bad, m'kay?

galwayrush · 19-06-2011 09:15PM

As long asa you're not rimming it OP.:pac:

kfallon · 19-06-2011 09:22PM

You should have given yourself a sneaky finger too

DERICKOO · 19-06-2011 09:24PM

galwayrush wrote: »

As long asa you're not rimming it OP.:pac:

I'm still wait-en for the punch line look this happened to me I was foolish downright incompetent but I got stung in my Willie.

At least I am being honest:cool:

19-06-2011 09:27PM

Is this the answer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zj0QMqPgAY

W.Shakes-Beer · 19-06-2011 09:28PM

DERICKOO wrote: »

I'm still wait-en for the punch line look this happened to me I was foolish downright incompetent but I got stung in my Willie.

At least I am being honest:cool:

Cut it off, it'll spread. The only way OP

slowburner · 19-06-2011 09:35PM

Rub an equally hot one on your sphincter. As the pain travels from back to front it will meet the pain coming from front to back and cancel it.
Pushing a knitting needle into the bishop's eye will have a similar benefit.

Sonics2k · 19-06-2011 09:37PM

OP =

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

DERICKOO · 19-06-2011 09:40PM

salonfire wrote: »

Is this the answer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zj0QMqPgAY

Na corny.

its cooling down now but talking about it helped a lot to ease the pain and indignation I have suffered.:p

Thanks to those who offered sympathy the others may you be scared for life in you private parts by chillies.:P

Elmidena · 19-06-2011 09:46PM

The day after getting my soon-to-be partner to smush up a habanero in a stirfry I was making for us and my soon-to-be ex he (to use kfallon's phrase) slipped me a sneaky finger and jesus the burn! Had to pretend I'd touched myself too to make it worse, even though I never handled the chilis.

In an effort to prove his devotion my ex decided to rub the husk of the habanero for a good 30 seconds wondering what the fuss was and then it hit like a ton of bricks and got worse. He dipped his bell(pepper)end into an eggcup of milk and I trotted off downtown with my soon to be fella to pick something up in town and to smooch on the sly. I'd dread to think what pain he was in when I had residue from multiple hands-washing since the cooking preparation, as opposed to full on mushing and stuff, but he deserved it. Tosspot.

And yes I'm going to hell but this story amused you against your better judgement (and it's all true) :cool:

Temptamperu · 19-06-2011 09:46PM

Willie.:D

slowburner · 19-06-2011 09:52PM

Sonics2k wrote: »

OP =

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

:D:D

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 19-06-2011 09:54PM

Sunshine! wrote: »

The day after getting my soon-to-be partner to smush up a habanero in a stirfry I was making for us and my soon-to-be ex he (to use kfallon's phrase) slipped me a sneaky finger and jesus the burn! Had to pretend I'd touched myself too to make it worse, even though I never handled the chilis.

In an effort to prove his devotion my ex decided to rub the husk of the habanero for a good 30 seconds wondering what the fuss was and then it hit like a ton of bricks and got worse. He dipped his bell(pepper)end into an eggcup of milk and I trotted off downtown with my soon to be fella to pick something up in town and to smooch on the sly. I'd dread to think what pain he was in when I had residue from multiple hands-washing since the cooking preparation, as opposed to full on mushing and stuff, but he deserved it. Tosspot.

And yes I'm going to hell but this story amused you against your better judgement (and it's all true) :cool:

Well I think it's just swell that you were at it right under his nose and were so arrogant that you would have he who you did the dirt with in the house with ye and could f*ck off down town to smooch and laugh at the injured party. Just swell

Elmidena · 19-06-2011 10:00PM

Helen Bitter Transportation wrote: »

Well I think it's just swell that you were at it right under his nose and were so arrogant that you would have he who you did the dirt with in the house with ye and could f*ck off down town to smooch and laugh at the injured party. Just swell

Well it was his house in fairness and we were guests. And yep, swell it sure was as the ex sexually abused his younger sister for years.

slowburner · 19-06-2011 10:01PM

We used to smoke in the jacks at school. I was actually having a slash when someone gave the warning about the headmaster coming I thought they were messing. It was a really good smoke and a really good slash and I kinda wanted them to die together gracefully.
In steps the headmaster, I got a shock, tried to put my willy in my mouth and zipped up the fag.
Chillies? Try a dog's mickey of a fag butt stuck to your tip, my friend.

Did you Ever

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