Did you Ever

DERICKOO

I was cutting Chillies about 125000 ref for a nice stir fry with onions courgettes garlic a little lemon juice, dash of fish sauce squid brand.
Then
Got the leak to much wine hot sunned afternoon well i went and low and behold my Willie took off the hot, the burn, the fear the ultimate indignation the garden house I am left stumped, bedazzled, utter indignation.

the Strip loin I battered with indignity and vigour is nicely done as, as is me.

Chuck Stone

What in the name of muppetry are you on about?

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Did you Ever...............do English in school?

Snowie

bye the sounds of things he was cutting chillies and went for a piss and rubbed the resiidue on his penis...

which stings like fook unless your some what kinky :pac:

epgc3fyqirnbsx

yeah... I thin.... yeah

DERICKOO

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

bye the sounds of things he was cutting chillies and went for a piss and rubbed the resiidue on his penis...

which stings like fook unless your some what kinky :pac:

Yep you got it in one hole.

sorry not kinky

epgc3fyqirnbsx

DERICKOO wrote: »

Yep you got it in one hole.

He tried for two, oh well

alwaysadub

Must've been a big stir fry to be cutting 125000 chillies..

Snowie

DERICKOO wrote: »

Yep you got it in one hole.

sorry not kinky

no i didnt go near any hole so shut it...

that depends on what floats your boat....

El_Dangeroso

Is this thread in honour of Bloomsday?

W.Shakes-Beer

Sounds like he was cooking willies, but dropped the chilli he was eating, so had a glass of lemon juice instead.

He then battered the cock off himself and ate a steak.

Mint Sauce

Well I hope you remembered to wash your hands afterwards.

Ave Sodalis

Chuck Stone wrote: »

What in the name of muppetry are you on?

Fixed...

Typhoon.

must write for the independant

Solnskaya

new dish was then created - hot flute surprise - its very moreish.

u140acro3xs7dm

Chilli willy!!

DublinWriter

Drugs are bad, m'kay?

galwayrush

As long asa you're not rimming it OP.:pac:

kfallon

You should have given yourself a sneaky finger too

DERICKOO

galwayrush wrote: »

As long asa you're not rimming it OP.:pac:

I'm still wait-en for the punch line look this happened to me I was foolish downright incompetent but I got stung in my Willie.

At least I am being honest:cool:

Is this the answer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zj0QMqPgAY

W.Shakes-Beer

DERICKOO wrote: »

I'm still wait-en for the punch line look this happened to me I was foolish downright incompetent but I got stung in my Willie.

At least I am being honest:cool:

Cut it off, it'll spread. The only way OP

slowburner

Rub an equally hot one on your sphincter. As the pain travels from back to front it will meet the pain coming from front to back and cancel it.
Pushing a knitting needle into the bishop's eye will have a similar benefit.

Sonics2k

OP =

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

DERICKOO

salonfire wrote: »

Is this the answer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zj0QMqPgAY

Na corny.

its cooling down now but talking about it helped a lot to ease the pain and indignation I have suffered.:p

Thanks to those who offered sympathy the others may you be scared for life in you private parts by chillies.:P

Elmidena

The day after getting my soon-to-be partner to smush up a habanero in a stirfry I was making for us and my soon-to-be ex he (to use kfallon's phrase) slipped me a sneaky finger and jesus the burn! Had to pretend I'd touched myself too to make it worse, even though I never handled the chilis.


In an effort to prove his devotion my ex decided to rub the husk of the habanero for a good 30 seconds wondering what the fuss was and then it hit like a ton of bricks and got worse. He dipped his bell(pepper)end into an eggcup of milk and I trotted off downtown with my soon to be fella to pick something up in town and to smooch on the sly. I'd dread to think what pain he was in when I had residue from multiple hands-washing since the cooking preparation, as opposed to full on mushing and stuff, but he deserved it. Tosspot.


And yes I'm going to hell but this story amused you against your better judgement (and it's all true) :cool:

Temptamperu

Willie.:D

slowburner

Sonics2k wrote: »

OP =

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

:D:D

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Sunshine! wrote: »

The day after getting my soon-to-be partner to smush up a habanero in a stirfry I was making for us and my soon-to-be ex he (to use kfallon's phrase) slipped me a sneaky finger and jesus the burn! Had to pretend I'd touched myself too to make it worse, even though I never handled the chilis.


In an effort to prove his devotion my ex decided to rub the husk of the habanero for a good 30 seconds wondering what the fuss was and then it hit like a ton of bricks and got worse. He dipped his bell(pepper)end into an eggcup of milk and I trotted off downtown with my soon to be fella to pick something up in town and to smooch on the sly. I'd dread to think what pain he was in when I had residue from multiple hands-washing since the cooking preparation, as opposed to full on mushing and stuff, but he deserved it. Tosspot.


And yes I'm going to hell but this story amused you against your better judgement (and it's all true) :cool:

Well I think it's just swell that you were at it right under his nose and were so arrogant that you would have he who you did the dirt with in the house with ye and could f*ck off down town to smooch and laugh at the injured party. Just swell

Elmidena

Helen Bitter Transportation wrote: »

Well I think it's just swell that you were at it right under his nose and were so arrogant that you would have he who you did the dirt with in the house with ye and could f*ck off down town to smooch and laugh at the injured party. Just swell

Well it was his house in fairness and we were guests. And yep, swell it sure was as the ex sexually abused his younger sister for years.

slowburner

We used to smoke in the jacks at school. I was actually having a slash when someone gave the warning about the headmaster coming I thought they were messing. It was a really good smoke and a really good slash and I kinda wanted them to die together gracefully.
In steps the headmaster, I got a shock, tried to put my willy in my mouth and zipped up the fag.
Chillies? Try a dog's mickey of a fag butt stuck to your tip, my friend.

Temptamperu

slowburner wrote: »

We used to smoke in the jacks at school. I was actually having a slash when someone gave the warning about the headmaster coming I thought they were messing. It was a really good smoke and a really good slash and I kinda wanted them to die together gracefully.
In steps the headmaster, I got a shock, tried to put my willy in my mouth and zipped up the fag.
Chillies? Try a dog's mickey of a fag butt stuck to your tip, my friend.

:eek: thats horrorfying

DERICKOO

Temptamperu wrote: »

:eek: thats horrorfying

At least someone knows it is very painful. Not for the faint hearted.:eek:

slowburner

Temptamperu wrote: »

:eek: thats horrorfying

Can't get enough of it these days.

FoxT

125,000 chillies ? That would hurt.

Don't rub your eyes, pick your nose, or scratch your bum for looong time..

DERICKOO

Did I not say 125000 on the scoville scale Dorset Naga up to 1,032,310 SHU.
do you really know how hot my Willie was.

WoollyRedHat

DERICKOO wrote: »

I was cutting Chillies about 125000 ref for a nice stir fry with onions courgettes garlic a little lemon juice, dash of fish sauce squid brand.
Then
Got the leak to much wine hot sunned afternoon well i went and low and behold my Willie took off the hot, the burn, the fear the ultimate indignation the garden house I am left stumped, bedazzled, utter indignation.

the Strip loin I battered with indignity and vigour is nicely done as, as is me.

You chillied up your willy and now you're afraid it's going to fall off?

slowburner

DERICKOO wrote: »

Did I not say 125000 on the scoville scale Dorset Naga up to 1,032,310 SHU.
do you really know how hot my Willie was.

I don't care how hot you think your willy is, I'm not going to look at it.
Feck off with your Scoby units and you're asking for it, wearing a Jagger Corset.
Perve.

airyChinesekid

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

bye the sounds of things he was cutting chillies and went for a piss and rubbed the resiidue on his penis...

which stings like fook unless your some what kinky :pac:

or maybe he got the residue of his willy on the chillies.

swimming_paul

DERICKOO wrote: »

Did I not say 125000 on the scoville scale Dorset Naga up to 1,032,310 SHU.
do you really know how hot my Willie was.

rub some pepper spray on it next time lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale#List_of_Scoville_ratings

Simon201

DERICKOO wrote: »

I was cutting Chillies about 125000 ref for a nice stir fry with onions courgettes garlic a little lemon juice, dash of fish sauce squid brand.
Then
Got the leak to much wine hot sunned afternoon well i went and low and behold my Willie took off the hot, the burn, the fear the ultimate indignation the garden house I am left stumped, bedazzled, utter indignation.

the Strip loin I battered with indignity and vigour is nicely done as, as is me.

Stanley Unwin.... is that you?

Corsendonk

Did Teddy have to move to Cork to get back in?