Rampant acceptable Homophobia in the work place

rochey84 · 25-05-2011 11:55AM #1

Hi lads and ladies,

Before I begin let me assure you that I know where I'm posting and I know some of the responses I'm likely to get but its a better cross section of society than the LGBT forum and I'm not offended by any of what I've noticed.

I was just wondering does anyone else notice that there would appear in Irish workplaces an awful lot of derogatory remarks made with regard to homosexuality, these (at least in my opinion) aren't designed to offend anyone but working in a large call centre I can often hear my colleuges talking and slagging each other and the slagging almost always refers to someone being gay, or coming out of the closet or something along those lines and I can't help but think that if the comments were about being Foregin/a woman/ coming from a different ethnic background that management would step in, be it just a quiet word to advise that words have the power to offend and hurt, or something more serious.

I ask this cause I wonder is it because (to a degree) homosexuality isn't as visible as these other traits so people believe it is safe to make these types of jokes and digs? Or is it because there is an accepted level of homophobia in our culture that just has to be accepted wheather we like it or not? I'm sure many of you when you don't like something call it "gay" or "bent" or whatever, why do we do this?

Don't get me wrong when someone annoys me I would often use the term queer but I mean it in the literal sense of the word (strange or unusual) not gay.

As I said earlier none of this offends me directly, but I do wonder to a young (relativly young workforce in my job) lad or lady who is gay and already struggling, this type of behaviour must only serve to increase their fear and aniexty rather then help it, especially when I know the majority of the people making the jokes and refrences don't actually give a damn who is gay and who isn't but I'd imagine that being closeted and hyper-aware of all negetive comments about gay people that this does shape what you think is going on with these people.

Sorry for rambling, let me know what you all think, is it just harmless fun or should we all make an effort to stop equating bad things to being gay?

FatherLen · 25-05-2011 11:56AM

ghey...

rochey84 · 25-05-2011 11:57AM

FatherLen wrote: »

ghey...

Pretty much what I was referring to when I said I knew what type of response I would get!!!! Thanks for proving the point!

seanybiker · 25-05-2011 11:58AM

Maybe people are using gay to say that person is happy. Same as you calling someone queer

FatherLen · 25-05-2011 11:58AM

no problémo

krudler · 25-05-2011 11:58AM

soooo not the right forum to have a serious discussion about gheys

rochey84 · 25-05-2011 12:00PM

seanybiker wrote: »

Maybe people are using gay to say that person is happy. Same as you calling someone queer

well given the tone and nature of the slagging I'm 99.9% sure that they don't mean happy but thanks for the input and suggestion. And I'm not quite sure how say a shift Rota could ever be considered "happy"

rainbowdrop · 25-05-2011 12:00PM

This thread won't end well..........

prinz · 25-05-2011 12:01PM

rochey84 wrote: »

I was just wondering does anyone else notice that there would appear in Irish workplaces an awful lot of derogatory remarks made with regard to homosexuality..

No.

rochey84 wrote: »

Don't get me wrong when someone annoys me I would often use the term queer but I mean it in the literal sense of the word (strange or unusual) not gay.

LOL. What a queer fellow you seem to be. You annoyed me you unusual rapscallion!

dlofnep · 25-05-2011 12:02PM

I worked in a large call centre for almost 8 years and I never heard any of this.

thebigbiffo · 25-05-2011 12:03PM

people need to get a life and stop being so easily offended. i've gay friends who regularly call other straight friends fags, queers or whatever to insult/slag them - ya know why? cos their f'ucking grown up enough to know that for most straight men the thoughts of being with another lad is stomach churning. it's not meant to be offensive to gay people, it's just a slagging.

orourkeda · 25-05-2011 12:03PM

Calling someone gay isn't "rampant homophobia"

Absurdum · 25-05-2011 12:05PM

"I've nothin against gays but....." rofl

Srsly, I call stuff "gay" all the time, there's no malice in it at all towards homosexuals. Sky remote ain't working right: "this ****in remote is gay" etc.

Then I roll over and snuggle my bf

mgmt · 25-05-2011 12:06PM

Relax OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7hQN4Amaeg

TheZohanS · 25-05-2011 12:07PM

It's not the first time a group has hijacked the word "gay" for their own use now is it?

muboop1 · 25-05-2011 12:07PM

Mate...

I suggest you move this thread to another section or start a new thread else where

If you actually expect to stimulate a decent debate you are in the wrong forum.first few pages on any after hours post our thread are notoriously full of thank whores...

The King of Moo · 25-05-2011 12:07PM

Well I think it's a case of it being considered harmless fun by the people making gay jokes, but obviously if I were gay I wouldn't like to hear it.
There's no offense intended but obviously any gay person would naturally feel offended.
I think it's like how some people in England would make Paddy Irishman jokes to you. Sometimes of course it's meant to be racist. But often they'll say it's just banter as they consider us equals or one of them (

), like the Scots and the Welsh. But of course it's hard for an Irish person not to be offended.
Just because offense isn't intended, doesn't necessarily mean it's not taken
The thing is, if they knew there were a gay person present they probably wouldn't say anything, and most of them, hopefully, would treat them normally.
It's strange though, I don't know why it's normal to make gay jokes, but racist ones are generally unacceptable.

rochey84 · 25-05-2011 12:07PM

thebigbiffo wrote: »

people need to get a life and stop being so easily offended. i've gay friends who regularly call other straight friends fags, queers or whatever to insult/slag them - ya know why? cos their f'ucking grown up enough to know that for most straight men the thoughts of being with another lad is stomach churning. it's not meant to be offensive to gay people, it's just a slagging.

My point wasn't that I find it offensive, my point was maybe if you read the whole OP, was that if you worked in a place where people were being slagged without meaning offence being called "a typical dopey woman" something would be done about it. Ah **** it I don't really care just trying to get a conversation going! Enjoy yourselves

Big Nasty · 25-05-2011 12:08PM

Straight men will fart, belch, discuss sports, burdz and slag steamers amongst themselves.

Most are careful not to do same in front of burdz and steamers.

Some aren't.

Frank Black · 25-05-2011 12:14PM

I think I know where you’re coming from OP – it’s probably more prevalent (in my experience) in male dominated industries. I don’t think most of the people who engage in this behavior would consider themselves to be homophobic and probably think of it as light hearted ‘slagging’. It’s certainly made me uncomfortable at time, not because I’m gay, but there were a couple of my colleagues who I suspected were and I was a bit embarrassed on their behalf. To be honest I don’t think the lads who would make these comments would have known this, but I did think it would be a difficult environment to come out in if people were making the kind of comments you are talking about.
I’m probably no saint myself and have often described things as ‘gay’ – personally I think it’s a throwback to school-yard banter in much the same way as saying ‘your ma’.

AnonoBoy · 25-05-2011 12:20PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Straight men will fart, belch, discuss sports, burdz and slag steamers amongst themselves.

Most are careful not to do same in front of burdz and steamers.

Some aren't.

Steamers? Has this turned into an excrement thread already?

rochey84 · 25-05-2011 12:29PM

black francis wrote: »

I think I know where you’re coming from OP – it’s probably more prevalent (in my experience) in male dominated industries. I don’t think most of the people who engage in this behavior would consider themselves to be homophobic and probably think of it as light hearted ‘slagging’. It’s certainly made me uncomfortable at time, not because I’m gay, but there were a couple of my colleagues who I suspected were and I was a bit embarrassed on their behalf. To be honest I don’t think the lads who would make these comments would have known this, but I did think it would be a difficult environment to come out in if people were making the kind of comments you are talking about.
I’m probably no saint myself and have often described things as ‘gay’ – personally I think it’s a throwback to school-yard banter in much the same way as saying ‘your ma’.

This is the kinda thing I was talking about and you're right it is more prevalent in male dominated industries, all in all I'm glad that at least 1 person got the point I was making

prinz · 25-05-2011 12:31PM

rochey84 wrote: »

I'm glad that at least 1 person got the point I was making

More than one person got the point you were making. They disagreed with your hypothesis and you didn't like it.

dominiquecruz · 25-05-2011 12:35PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Straight men will fart, belch, discuss sports, burdz and slag steamers amongst themselves.

Really? Wow, the machismo of it all. I'm not gay, but if I found out a group of people spent their time slagging me and calling me a 'steamer', particularly in work, I wouldn't be impressed. Do you guys joke about the **** too?

prinz · 25-05-2011 12:38PM

dominiquecruz wrote: »

Do you guys joke about the **** too?

Only when they do something particularly funny or make mention of fried chicken or shít bein' whack etc*.

*might not be true.

Big Nasty · 25-05-2011 12:40PM

dominiquecruz wrote: »

Really? Wow, the machismo of it all. I'm not gay, but if I found out a group of people spent their time slagging me and calling me a 'steamer', particularly in work, I wouldn't be impressed. Do you guys joke about the **** too?

Yeah, sometimes! I've also heard lads slagging pikeys and Eastern Europeans eating their swans, etc or whatever. There is no malice intended whatsoever - it's light hearted banter that goes no further.

Birneybau · 25-05-2011 12:41PM

It really is a a pain in the @rse.

Homphobia I mean...

blaze1 · 25-05-2011 12:44PM

The gay lads in my work accept a good bit of banter.

TBh the stuff they come out with is generally worse, and they get away with a lot more with women than any straight fella would dare to try.

I just show them blue waffle or talk about sweaty clunges if they overstep the mark:D

dominiquecruz · 25-05-2011 12:46PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Yeah, sometimes! I've also heard lads slagging pikeys and Eastern Europeans eating their swans, etc or whatever. There is no malice intended whatsoever - it's light hearted banter that goes no further.

Thats fair enough I guess. Weird. I think I was about to get on a high horse about something, but actually you're right; everyone is subject to getting slagged for just about anything, as long as they're not around to hear it.

twinQuins · 25-05-2011 12:47PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Yeah, sometimes! I've also heard lads slagging pikeys and Eastern Europeans eating their swans, etc or whatever. There is no malice intended whatsoever - it's light hearted banter that goes no further.

It's light hearted banter for you.

mconigol · 25-05-2011 12:51PM

dlofnep wrote: »

I worked in a large call centre for almost 8 years and I never heard any of this.

Ah sure I'd say there's so much chatter going on in those places that it's hard to hear yourself think alright!

Rampant acceptable Homophobia in the work place

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