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Did you panic when you found out your OH was pregnant?
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My whole life would be dedicated to somebody else. I like my life but if i had a child it would destroy my lifestyle, it would destroy me as a person and i would be a shadow of myself. The only meaning of my existance would be for one person. My soul and personality would be sucked out of me by a child. I would kill myself if it wasnt for the responsibility of looking after my offspring. I have no career prospects and i will never earn a decent wage. My whole earnings would go entirely on that child. I would have no life. I would go to work and go home and my days off i would have to look after a child. That would whole life, every week for 18 years. No going out with the lads, no holidays, no concerts, no festivals, no football matches, just living like a slave to one person. Im 25 and i would be a slave until i am 43, possibly longer and those years should be the best years of my life.
And thats the financial issues, then there is the emotional issues of having a child. You go to work all week at a crap job, then every day you have to go home to a whinge bag child, slowly sucking the last bit of personality out of you. Even when if i try to get away from a crappy life by going to sleep at night, the child would probably start crying and finding more reasons to hate my life. When the child grows older and turns into a teenager, i would be treated with nothing but contempt. Like ive ruined the childs life by just existing and would have to deal with its hormonal issues.
Then we get to the mother of the child. Oh dear jesus. Your life is bad enough as it is and you give up every moment and every cent you have for the child for 18 years but every single day there is one person there to tell you its just not good enough. Somebody who wants more than every single second of my day and every cent i earn for 18 years. Somebody who would never be happy until she gets your head is on a platter. It would be like being in a jail cell on suicide watch whilst being forced to watch videos of kittens and puppies being tortured, just after being told Panda's and Tigers have become extinct.
You may think i could have parental issues but my parents have been happily married for 27 years and i have no problems with them. What ive stated above would be my life if i knocked somebody up
It is what we are here for. Otherwise you can just enjoy life and when you die, be dead. Being old and all before you die you won't have parents to love you btw. Just you and whoever. Or just you.0 -
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Best day of my life at the time, then she arrived, best day of my life and now every day gets better, she completes me:D.. id done all the travel, nights out, study, worked way up in job, all great but nothing compares to making my perfect little baby.. for my partner, he was happy but it wasnt until she was born that it really clicked for him.. and now hes like ' what was i scared of, i shoulda done this years ago'.. we waited as we wanted to be free for our 20s and be mature enough, shes definitely getting better parents for it i think..:):o;):p
for those of you it was a shock for.. i always wondered.. what happened? did contraception not work or to drunk to use anything??/ i was always curious but couldnt ask
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fabbydabby wrote: »God, my head would be wrecked. I fkin hate kids. Though with my GF it wouldn't be too bad as we're together a while, if it was some random stink looking bastard bitch I rode in an alley that would be my worst nightmare, and indeed it was for quite a while.
Is there anyone out there who hated kids until they had some? I keep getting told I am going to want them some day but at nearly 29 I can't see it happening.
Option 1: Have fat stacks to spend on yourself. Get sleep, pursue hobbies intently with said fat stacks. Take regular weekend breaks in Europe. Drive a nice , powerful car with 2 seats and leave delicate and expensive objects around your (clean) house. have an option of buying an offshore power boat.
Option 2: Have no money, spend your days tired though lack of sleep and wiping sh!tty a-holes. When they grow out of that, put up with their angstey insecure bullsh!t.
Hmmm
I was in pretty much the situation you describe, the cars, the lifestyle, the travel. Eventually I got to 40 and realised it was a pretty empty existence (apart from the travel - I miss that). Now I have a baby daughter and she's feckin awesome. Its hard work but incredibly rewarding, and its one of those things (especially for men) that you can't really "get" until you're walking out of the delivery room with your baby.That is true in terms of reproducing to keep the species alive but as somebody who will never earn vast amounts of money i feel it would be wrong to bring a child into the world. Its all about the bank balance. At least when your getting paid you can flog the child off to a nanny or boarding school when it is 5.
I think you may be lacking the maternal instinct a bit
. I used to think it was all about the bank balance as well, and I still do to an extent, but if you're thinking you need the cash to offload the kid, then maybe its not for you... 0 -
Fcuk!!
Some of you lot should just go and get sterilised if all you think about is 'the bank balance' and 'yourself' when you consider having a child.
For those of us with prescience of mind enough to appreciate what having a child means, it represents a step up in terms of consciousness.
I remember well when my OH told me she was preggers, in the Cat&Cage in Drumcondra around 12 years ago, and within the space of about 2 seconds, my life flashed before me and after that I felt like I had at last achieved something with my life. I committed myself to ensuring that my progeny would get everything that they needed to become happy and well adjusted human beings.
If I hadn't become a father then, I reckon my life wouldn't be nearly as good as it is now.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not loaded and there's lots of things and situations in my life that aren't to my liking. But having two wee bucks who love me, despite me being an eejit, and whom I love, despite them being demanding and screechy little feckers, is worth more than all the tea in China.
They say you never know the love of a parent until you become one yourself, so I'd suggest to those who say never to think about their own parents and say thanks for bringing them up.
And in the event where your parents may have been sh1t, then consider how you could maybe do a better job yourself.
tl;dr
If the panic lasts any longer than 2 seconds FYL :pac:
Having kids is the best
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So do you think your dad looks at you that way? And at your mother that way?My whole life would be dedicated to somebody else. I like my life but if i had a child it would destroy my lifestyle, it would destroy me as a person and i would be a shadow of myself. The only meaning of my existance would be for one person. My soul and personality would be sucked out of me by a child. I would kill myself if it wasnt for the responsibility of looking after my offspring. I have no career prospects and i will never earn a decent wage. My whole earnings would go entirely on that child. I would have no life. I would go to work and go home and my days off i would have to look after a child. That would whole life, every week for 18 years. No going out with the lads, no holidays, no concerts, no festivals, no football matches, just living like a slave to one person. Im 25 and i would be a slave until i am 43, possibly longer and those years should be the best years of my life.
And thats the financial issues, then there is the emotional issues of having a child. You go to work all week at a crap job, then every day you have to go home to a whinge bag child, slowly sucking the last bit of personality out of you. Even when if i try to get away from a crappy life by going to sleep at night, the child would probably start crying and finding more reasons to hate my life. When the child grows older and turns into a teenager, i would be treated with nothing but contempt. Like ive ruined the childs life by just existing and would have to deal with its hormonal issues.
Then we get to the mother of the child. Oh dear jesus. Your life is bad enough as it is and you give up every moment and every cent you have for the child for 18 years but every single day there is one person there to tell you its just not good enough. Somebody who wants more than every single second of my day and every cent i earn for 18 years. Somebody who would never be happy until she gets your head is on a platter. It would be like being in a jail cell on suicide watch whilst being forced to watch videos of kittens and puppies being tortured, just after being told Panda's and Tigers have become extinct.
You may think i could have parental issues but my parents have been happily married for 27 years and i have no problems with them. What ive stated above would be my life if i knocked somebody up
I'd say he loves you, and he loves your mother. So just because you think life will be terrible if you have a child, doesn't mean it will be. You don't know the future with any certainty. What you do know, once you look at your child for the first time, is that you will love that child until the end of time, and will do anything to provide and protect it.0 -
Ghost Buster wrote: »Seeing as herself went off the pill and we spent a headboard punishing hotel break in Galway following which herself left the hotel sloshing and i needed germoline and an ice pack........
No.I didnt panic.:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
What?0 -
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I panicked for about... oh... 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. :eek:
Himself nearly had me more freaked out cos he seemed to be quite happy about the whole thing. :rolleyes:
Same here. Was on the pill. I learned that you are supposed to take it at the exact same time every day. Not just 'in the morning'. :mad: He was over the moon bout it, I was ****ting myself. Thinking of parasites and Alien and all that nastiness. Also there was lots and lots of throwing up involved. Very unpleasant.
Was really not happy about it given that the situation with the dad wasn't as I'd have wanted it to be, but didn't want to abort either. The second wasn't such a shock, I was more just pleasantly surprised. And now I have two of the best daugters I could ever have dreamed of.Deep down i think he does feel like that but he hides it very well. He would of been around my age now when he had got married and had me. When i look at him i see a broken man. A man that just accepted his fate and is going through the motions. I dont think he realises he is a broken man either. He is a fine man, possibly the finest and a local legend but he could of done so much better than get bogged down with a wife and kids. I learn from his mistakes though.
We all could have done so much better, such is life. As for me, I prefer to try not to project my bitterness or fear onto others.0 -
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