Disgusting

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 11-05-2011 11:54PM #1

http://www.herald.ie/national-news/boy-12-suicidal-over-torment-by-preteen-bullies-says-mum-2643440.html

A two-year campaign of harassment by primary school bullies has driven a 12-year-old boy to the brink of suicide, his mother has revealed.
The desperate mum reported the intimidation to gardai after his tormenters set up a profile for him on a gay adult website.
The Wicklow woman, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear her son would be subjected to further abuse, told how for the past two years pre-teen bullies have made his life a misery.
"He's been so upset and frustrated and keeps asking 'why me? I'm not the one who did anything wrong. Why are they attacking me?'" she said. "He loves school but he just does not want to go there anymore. "At the lowest point, he has been suicidal."
The case bears similarities to the Phoebe Prince tragedy. The Irish teen killed herself after suffering physical and online abuse at a high school in Massachusetts.
Despite the best efforts of the family and the school, the bullying, which she described as physical and verbal, has escalated over the past two years and even gone online.
Two months ago, after being tipped off by a teacher, the mum discovered the Facebook page which openly mocked the youngster and contained disturbing messages.
"Adult males from everywhere in the world were coming onto the page because links to the page had been put on gay websites and then I really began to wonder 'where do I go now?'
"It stunned me, all I could ask was why and how could someone steal someone's identity in this manner?"
And while her child hadn't seen the page, the bullies were teasing him about it during school.
Within days, after gardai were contacted, the page was removed but the ordeal has left the family in distress.
The mum says no one has been punished and the bullying goes on.
"I was in such a state I thought I was going to have a heart attack. The doctor said I was suffering from constant panic

shocking..

orourkeda · 11-05-2011 11:56PM

A possible solution here is a) you go the school. b) if not handled to your satisfaction you go to the police c) no solution you settle it yourself

OhMeOhMy · 12-05-2011 12:03AM

As a primary teacher myself, I think a lot more should be done about this kinda thing within the school and in ALL cases, prevention is better than cure. No tolerance for bullying stressed to the kids from DAY ONE. Get the kids discussing bullying, make them understand that there is no such thing as an 'innocent bystander.'
Also going on for two years? Disgraceful. I'd like to know what was being done in the run up to this to protect this child and to break the gang of bullied up. There is only every one or two active bullies in a group and the rest are passive, scared to say anything and riding along on the protection being in the group gives them. There are things that can be done and teachers (most of them do) need to understand that a child's welfare is paramount

Ev84 · 12-05-2011 12:16AM

Nearly everyone is bullied at some stage in their youth but these days there is a whole new way of bullying with the internet. It's sad. The parents of that 12 year old need to get him into some form of self defense class be it boxing or karate or anything simular to teach him to look after himself.

amacachi · 12-05-2011 12:19AM

Good thing she decided to stay anonymous, I'm sure there's thousands of instances of kids setting profiles of someone else on gay hook-up sites which have recently been removed. They'll never guess!

policarp · 12-05-2011 01:14AM

Bullying is a part of life.
In any family there will be a bully.
Be it the father, the mother , the siblings,
the school mates, the sports coach,
it's a part of growing up.
For some it's too much to handle.
Some can't handle it.

Donkey Oaty · 12-05-2011 01:19AM

Ev84 wrote: »

Nearly everyone is bullied at some stage in their youth but these days there is a whole new way of bullying with the internet. It's sad. The parents of that 12 year old need to get him into some form of self defense class be it boxing or karate or anything simular to teach him to look after himself.

Martial arts may build up his self-confidence and self-esteem, but there's no evidence from the article that he was subject to any form of physical abuse.

Edit: Sorry, I overlooked that - the mother said there was indeed physical abuse.

Even so, the story is about psychological abuse - just as damaging.

Deus Ex Machina · 12-05-2011 01:50AM

I don't think bullying is explained properly in schools. It is always put across in this sort of "bullies are weak and pick on you to feel big" or "bullies are cowards" sort of way. These things may be true, but I think they don't get across the full extent of what it's about. Individuals being bullied should be, above all else, outraged at the notion that somebody has taken the decision to bully them.

When you are being bullied, other people are attempting to add difficulty, and sometimes enormous difficulty, to your life for their own amusement. Life is complicated, challenging and daunting enough without this pointless misery imposed by others. When I was in school and somebody attempted to bully me I was outraged, absolutely furious, that somebody would even think of adding to my burden in order to have a laugh with their friends, and so I didn't hesitate for one moment in informing everyone, including the bullies themsevles, that it was not going to happen. It ended instantly.

If bullying was portrayed as the absurdly selfish and utterly pointless source of stress that it is, I think people would be more angered by the sheer capriciousness of it, and would make damn sure that it ends, and promptly.

Local-womanizer · 12-05-2011 01:56AM

policarp wrote: »

Bullying is a part of life.
In any family there will be a bully.
Be it the father, the mother , the siblings,
the school mates, the sports coach,
it's a part of growing up.
For some it's too much to handle.
Some can't handle it.

Eh? I never seen someone bullied growing up ( In primary school) After that in secondary school a victim would defend themselves after the first attempt, or you had the older guys stepping.

And no one in my family is a bully,its disgusting and cowardly.

charlemont · 12-05-2011 02:02AM

My brother used to bully me for years so one day when he started id enough and grabbed the iron and hopped it off his head, he didn't open his mouth or dare use his fists on me again.

policarp · 12-05-2011 02:06AM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Eh? I never seen someone bullied growing up ( In primary school) After that in secondary school a victim would defend themselves after the first attempt, or you had the older guys stepping.

And no one in my family is a bully,its disgusting and cowardly.

Are you sure?

Local-womanizer · 12-05-2011 02:09AM

policarp wrote: »

Are you sure?

No,I made it all up. :rolleyes:

It never got any where when I was growing up, simple as that. As for know I don't know but I can say I didn't see it when I was growing up.

policarp · 12-05-2011 02:16AM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

No,I made it all up. :rolleyes:

It never got any where when I was growing up, simple as that. As for know I don't know but I can say I didn't see it when I was growing up.

Every child is bullied in some way or another.
Were you never bullied?

Local-womanizer · 12-05-2011 03:17AM

policarp wrote: »

Every child is bullied in some way or another.
Were you never bullied?

I can honestly say I was never bullied. I can safely assume many people were never bullied either.

I am not saying it doesn't happen but to say everyone is bullied at some point in their childhood is untrue.

Buceph · 12-05-2011 09:47AM

Get the Aussie kid in to teach him how to powerslam the cnuts.

krudler · 12-05-2011 09:49AM

Local-womanizer wrote: »

I can honestly say I was never bullied. I can safely assume many people were never bullied either.

I am not saying it doesn't happen but to say everyone is bullied at some point in their childhood is untrue.

Theres different degrees of bullying, in secondary school, same sex ones especially, you're always going to get slagged off about something by someone, if you can give it back as good as you can get then it'll usually go away, its all dick waving stuff , just some people take it too far and it turns into actual bullying. I guy I used to go to school with was really timid and bullied by the class dimwit until one day he said something about his father being dead (really below the belt stuff) and the timid guy picked up his history book, walked over and belted the guy so hard he flew out of his chair, he got up started crying and ran out of the class, he never opened his yap again :pac:

syklops · 12-05-2011 09:57AM

I was bullied all through school. I was a bit different and an easy target. Physically, I was weaker than my fellow students, so 'stand up for yourself' and 'fight back' was great advice at the time but hopeless. A thin lanky 12 year old can only do so much against 3 strong hurlers/rugby players.

That said the emotional stuff was a million times worse than the physical stuff. The rumours and the isolation.

It all ended when I was 15 and through a mutual interest in good music, I made friends with a few dope smoking, hard drinking, dont give a sh*t 18 year olds. No-one touched me then, and I became cool by association.

Nowadays, at 6'4 and over 110kg if anyone ever tried to physically bully me, I will do my utmost to 'talk' them out of it, with my fist if necessary . Thankfully no-one has picked a fight with me since I was 17.

kfallon · 12-05-2011 10:17AM

Tell you something if I was the father of one of the kids doing the bullying he'd get some going over off me! He'd regret the day he ever started picking on someone else!

Browney7 · 12-05-2011 10:30AM

This guy will sort it out

http://www.caughtoffside.com/2011/05/11/mario-balotelli-confronts-school-bully-confirms-reputation-as-extremely-nice-guy/

jimthemental · 12-05-2011 10:37AM

I used to get bullied, solved it with a few good swings of a hurley and my fists on the different occasions. Also stopped being shy and started insulting people back. It wasn't easy when it was going on though.

Ev84 · 12-05-2011 10:56AM

Buceph wrote: »

Get the Aussie kid in to teach him how to powerslam the cnuts.

This Aussie kid? :pac: Right job for him...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxBAy3901kc

opinion guy · 12-05-2011 10:58AM

Mum needs to move the kid out of that school imho.
Once the bullying gets beyond a certain point there's not really any getting back to normality. Take him out of school, send him to judo lessons and put him to new school for next term.

Freddie59 · 12-05-2011 11:15AM

Our daughter was bullied between 1st and 3rd year in secondary school. Schools, from our experience, are not really prepared for bullying when it starts. They'll have the relevant "procedures" in place on paper, but little else.

Our daughter was a very quiet, caring, and mannerly girl, as were a lot of her peers in her 6th class primary class. There was another class which consisted, primarily, of troublemakers from 'disadvantaged' families. Someone had the brainstorm to mix both classes in 1st year, assuming that that 'good' pupils would have a soothing influence on the troublesome ones.

How wrong they were. This has been tried (and has failed miserably) in the wider society. The bullying became so bad that she was ostracised at breaks, resulting in another girl in the class having to flag it with the teacher. She was also assaulted in school on two occasions. It got to the point where I told her to fight back - and fight hard.

Needless to say, this came to a head and I was called to the school one day. Now, I had flagged the problems with the school by phone and letter, so they were well aware. I met with the Principal after my daughter had been in a fight, and I told the principal that I had told her to do so. She said I shouldn't have.

I pointed out to her that the school couldn't protect her; we couldn't protect her; so there was no other option. Incredibly, one of the teachers informed the bully that we had made a complaint, proving the point that they can't deal with bullying.

Things subsided after that, but, upon starting 3rd year, a group of about 20 (including the bully) surrounded her in a public toilet, kicking and scraping at the cubicle door in order to try to beat her. Were it not for her mobile phone I don't know what would have been the end of it. The Gardai were called and we were advised to lodge an assault compliant. But this would have made matters worse.

To her credit, she did her Junior Cert (and did very well). She then transferred to another school for her Leaving Cert, where she fitted in very well, and had two very happy years. She's now a very well-adjusted adult who we love dearly, and is training to be an accountant, and we sometimes speak of those dark days.

She herself reckons it made her a stronger person, but there is no way she (or anyone else) should have to go through this.

We were lucky in that we always encouraged our children to talk to us and confide in us - no matter what. I firmly believe that, coupled with the type of person she is, is what saved her.

Freddie59 · 12-05-2011 11:19AM

krudler wrote: »

Theres different degrees of bullying, in secondary school, same sex ones especially, you're always going to get slagged off about something by someone, if you can give it back as good as you can get then it'll usually go away, its all dick waving stuff , just some people take it too far and it turns into actual bullying. I guy I used to go to school with was really timid and bullied by the class dimwit until one day he said something about his father being dead (really below the belt stuff) and the timid guy picked up his history book, walked over and belted the guy so hard he flew out of his chair, he got up started crying and ran out of the class, he never opened his yap again :pac:

Good on him.

Buceph · 12-05-2011 11:22AM

Freddie59 wrote: »

The bullying became so bad that she was ostracised at breaks, resulting in another girl in the class having to flag it with the teacher.

This is the part that would kill me. There's obviously another kid in that class who has proven she cares to a degree, and she can't do anything amongst her peers. Kids just aren't strong enough to do something like that.

I know that when it's said, it's meant in a different way, but youth really is wasted on the young. You just hope it's something the child can survive and grow from, but even when some kids survive it, it leaves them in an awful place for adulthood.

Freddie59 · 12-05-2011 01:47PM

Buceph wrote: »

This is the part that would kill me. There's obviously another kid in that class who has proven she cares to a degree, and she can't do anything amongst her peers. Kids just aren't strong enough to do something like that.

I know that when it's said, it's meant in a different way, but youth really is wasted on the young. You just hope it's something the child can survive and grow from, but even when some kids survive it, it leaves them in an awful place for adulthood.

Too true. Our daughter was one of the lucky ones. How many children are wrapped up in this every day? Caused by dysfucntional little pricks.

Paul.C · 12-05-2011 01:52PM

If it were my son id go in and sort the kids out myself. Theres some people say you cant do that but what if the lad did the unthinkable, youd not be able to live with yourself.

Freddie59 · 12-05-2011 01:58PM

Paul.C wrote: »

If it were my son id go in and sort the kids out myself. Theres some people say you cant do that but what if the lad did the unthinkable, youd not be able to live with yourself.

Don't think I didn't consider it. But how do you do that when it's girls?

opinion guy · 12-05-2011 02:08PM

Freddie59 wrote: »

Don't think I didn't consider it. But how do you do that when it's girls?

You obviously didn't see the episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Lois sets out to get revenge on some girls who pulled a prank on Reese...

Paul.C · 12-05-2011 02:36PM

Freddie59 wrote: »

Don't think I didn't consider it. But how do you do that when it's girls?

If its girls then find out where they live and sort out their fathers(prefferably in front of them). They will be forced to act if they see you are willing to go to the next level.

rochey84 · 12-05-2011 03:07PM

The point that is often missed when it comes to bullying is that it is not neccessarily the actions of the "bully" that defines bullying but how the actions effect the "bullied". I was bullied to a degree all throughout school, however I never really noticed it, I always thought it was just lads being lads, I suffer terribly from low self-esteem and low self confidence even now, I'm able to stand up for myself but only when I've been pushed to the limit and honestly can't take anymore. By that I mean when I'm crying on my own about what is going on and I then get reactive and start to hold my own, my confidence is getting better now but I'm no where near where I would like to be. I think that education is key. It really is as simple as that, I never (up until I was 26) had a relationship where I could really talk openly with my parents but I'm lucky I do now. Nowadays when something gets to me, I think it through consider my options and react only if I feel a reaction will get me somewhere, my heart goes out to all the kids in the country that are being bullied now but life does get better as you grow up and you develop confidence. I really hope that the poor kid mentioned in the stories above gets through it and becomes a better person for it! And remember that when you do get older and you realise that your life is 10 times better than those that bullied you in school its cause you're the strong person for withstanding that for as long as you did!

Disgusting

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