Dirtest chat up line ever said to you.

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

FYP just in case people thought you were doing it to her! Phew!

I only need one up my own to get me off, I know how to touch all the right places :pac:

Wanna play army? If you lie down i'll blow the hell out of you.

A few years back I was on the dancefloor of a local club when this very hot hair dresser chick I kinda knew came over dancing beside me. About 5 foot 3 inches, short blonde hair and a body to die for. She began dancing slightly provocatively and I began inching away (I had a girlfriend at the time and they knew each other).

A few mins more passes by and she just comes a little closer, whispering in my ear:

"I want you to slide inside me".

She kissed me on the neck as she said it. I honestly don't know how I didn't take her then and there on the dancefloor, as that line made the hairs on my neck stand up (amongst other things). Needless to say I have reminisced on said night several times while on my tobler.

dar83 wrote: »

She said that, but allowed you put your lil mister up there?!

I call shenanigans on that story.

Either that or you have giant fingers, or a small Wiener...

My fingers are big enough! She was nervous at first but about half an hour later she agreed to 'house' my lodger there with the aid of a lot of baby oil.....I just remember the next day she text me to say her hole was in bits

To be fair she did agree with me that you have to try everything once, she was a good sport

Best line I ever heard..
A friend was in Germany and met a local girl.
After a few drinks she said to him 'I like fisting and Anal, What do you like'?
He replied...
You

I asked a woman one time could i rest my belly on her back.. she was about 20 years older than me and well, horrified. Looking back, a quiet beer garden at 7p.m was not really the time or the place, but I had been drinking since early morning, so all seemed ok to me..

Never got told a filthy line though, i must be a right ugly bastard

JupiterKid wrote: »

Fancy a f@ck? But then, I'm a gay man so that's not really that direct.:pac:

Is that really how gay life is? Dunno what to make of that.

ekans wrote: »

hot girl: i want your co*k in my v*g and your mates in my a*s

it happened less than an hour later, lovely girl, my mate and i are no longer in contact

Ye probably had enough contact that day

ekans wrote: »

hot girl: i want your co*k in my v*g and your mates in my a*s

it happened less than an hour later, lovely girl, my mate and i are no longer in contact

Why, have you swapped ends?

"My friend thinks you are as sweet as ice cream."

Pity it was two blokes.

Sure, I'll try any thing once. Don't judge me. :pac:

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

"My friend thinks you are as sweet as ice cream."

Pity it was two blokes.

Sure, I'll try any thing once. Don't judge me. :pac:

Is judging a bannable offence :P