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Dirtest chat up line ever said to you.

  • 09-05-2011 10:28PM
    #1
    7sr2z3fely84g5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,571 ✭✭✭


    Whats the dirtest chat up line said to you in a club?...


«13

Comments

  • #2
    FunnyStuff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 344 ✭✭FunnyStuff


    wanna **** me out in the carpark?!?!?


  • #3
    KeithAFC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,239 ✭✭✭✭KeithAFC


    Can you knee cap me.

    Odd, yeah.


  • #4
    chunkylover4
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 243 ✭✭chunkylover4


    Excuse me, will you mind my chair while I take a ****.


  • #5
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    girl i worked with in roches stores came out with a very subtle one one night in zanzibar (remember that place) : i want your cock in me


  • #6
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    A girl came up to me a few years ago in a "nightclub" in Dun Laoghaire.

    Il swallow for a fatfrog...................unfortunately, this is a true story.:(

    She didnt get the fatfrog btw...or anything else.


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  • #7
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    benwavner wrote: »
    A girl came up to me a few years ago in a "nightclub" in Dun Laoghaire.

    Il swallow for a fatfrog...................unfortunately, this is a true story.:(

    She didnt get the fatfrog btw...or anything else.

    :eek:
    nemos and her name was anna???


  • #8
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    :eek:
    nemos and her name was anna???


    Paps and her name is Fiona.

    Ah Nemos................brings a tear to the eye.

    ...................anna eh?


  • #9
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,916 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    KeithAFC wrote: »
    Can you knee cap me.

    Odd, yeah.

    I take it they didnt follow through


  • #10
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,916 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    FunnyStuff wrote: »
    wanna **** me out in the carpark?!?!?

    Did you call her out?


  • #11
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Her: What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

    Me: Dunno

    Her: You can't marmalade your cock up my ar5e


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  • #12
    KeithAFC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,239 ✭✭✭✭KeithAFC


    orourkeda wrote: »
    I take it they didnt follow through
    They did lol... :pac:

    I got a great story about a knee capping incident.


  • #13
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,222 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    Down in killkeny one night standing in the smoking area, woman walks out and asks me to stand in front of her me not knowin what was going on and being a gent i do turn around to find her squatting in the smoking area taking a piss, with a toilet five feet away i might add and the smoking area full. When shes done she stand up and says "ill give yeh the ride of your life" i made my excuses and got the f#ck out of there.


  • #14
    evillive
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 456 ✭✭evillive


    ruby's waterford

    'i'm going to ride the arse off ya'

    which she did end up doing not quite literally though - the girl kept her word


  • #15
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    Down in killkeny one night standing in the smoking area, woman walks out and asks me to stand in front of her me not knowin what was going on and being a gent i do turn around to find her squatting in the smoking area taking a piss, with a toilet five feet away i might add and the smoking area full. When shes done she stand up and says "ill give yeh the ride of your life" i made my excuses and got the f#ck out of there.

    why did you leg it? was she a bagel?


  • #16
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,916 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    KeithAFC wrote: »
    They did lol... :pac:

    I got a great story about a knee capping incident.

    what caps were you kneeing


  • #17
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,581 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    "**** *** ****** ** ******** **** * *****."

    Needless to say I declined the offer.


  • #18
    ShamoBuc
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators, Paid Member Posts: 37,333 CMod ✭✭✭✭ShamoBuc


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    Down in killkeny one night standing in the smoking area, woman walks out and asks me to stand in front of her me not knowin what was going on and being a gent i do turn around to find her squatting in the smoking area taking a piss, with a toilet five feet away i might add and the smoking area full. When shes done she stand up and says "ill give yeh the ride of your life" i made my excuses and got the f#ck out of there.


    are you gay or what? A ride is a ride...... isn't it?


  • #19
    18AD
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭18AD


    Excuse me, are you a single mother?

    "No."

    Do you wanna be?


  • #20
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    ShamoBuc wrote: »
    are you gay or what? A ride is a ride...... isn't it?

    exactly. any port in a storm


  • #21
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,222 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    why did you leg it? was she a bagel?

    She was a big unit and didnt look like the most hygenic person id ever seen, if yeh did youd want to wrap up ten times and still get checked after it.


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  • #22
    Praetorian Saighdiuir
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭Praetorian Saighdiuir


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    She was a big unit and didnt look like the most hygenic person id ever seen, if yeh did youd want to wrap up ten times and still get checked after it.


    You could have just chewed on her porky bits.


  • #23
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    She was a big unit and didnt look like the most hygenic person id ever seen, if yeh did youd want to wrap up ten times and still get checked after it.

    you do know that you get an extra blowjob for every extra pound of flesh?


  • #24
    Rds1989
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭Rds1989


    Not so much dirty as direct

    "Hey babe you look very lonely over here"
    "Ah im just waiting for my friend"
    "Wow cool wanna **** me"
    "Yes, yes i do"


  • #25
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,222 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    ShamoBuc wrote: »
    are you gay or what? A ride is a ride...... isn't it?


    A ride is a ride alright but every man has his limits even after a load of drink i wouldnt go there, and im not a fussy man:).


  • #26
    KeithAFC
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,239 ✭✭✭✭KeithAFC


    orourkeda wrote: »
    what caps were you kneeing
    Its about a loyalist knee capping a fellow loyalist. But it was the guys 'first' time and he is shaking, the guy about to get knee capped says 'here son, give it to me, just tell them you did it yourself' and knee capped himself. To make sure he did it right and all.

    Didn't want the noob shaking like a leaf making a mistake..:pac:


  • #27
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,916 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    luvbulmers01 wrote: »
    A ride is a ride alright but every man has his limits even after a load of drink i wouldnt go there, and im not a fussy man:).

    Its not even a consideration


  • #28
    Dangerous Man
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    After a night of groping and what have you at a Doors tribute concert this girl said to me 'we really should meet up and fuck sometime.' That left me thinking...'why not now?'


  • #29
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    "I want you to put it in my arse!" - She'd only had 3 pints ffs!

    I duly did but only after a double whammy of a sneaky finger :pac:


  • #30
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    kfallon wrote: »
    "I want you to put it in my arse!" - She'd only had 3 pints ffs!

    I duly did but only after a double whammy of a sneaky finger :pac:

    One each for the pair of ye?


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  • #31
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Kevin Duffy wrote: »
    One each for the pair of ye?

    Na just stuck 2 up there myself, I actually remember her saying to me, "Please don't put any more fingers up there" and I thought "Fooking spoilsport!" :pac:


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