I'm going to knock down a random cyclist the next time they skip a red light...

thebigbiffo · 09-05-2011 02:02PM #1

They all think they're so great with their eco-friendly, health conscious way to get to work. But in general they're the biggest scumbag, inconsiderate road users you're ever likely to come across. Now that it's the time of the year again where it's warm even if it's raining every asshole with a bike decides to 'beat the traffic' of 'get a little more exercise in'.

I drive a scooter - i know, equally annoying sometimes - and over the last 3-4 weeks I've seen some cyclists do some pretty dangerous and annoying s'hit...but top of my list is going through lights that have just turned red: YOU ARE NOT IN A MOTOR PROPELLED VEHICLE. You are going slower than the traffic and the lights for the other side of the junction will have turned green before you pass! IDIOT!

Now, seeing as i drive a scooter I accelerate away quite quickly from what is usually the front of the junction. 3 times out of the last 2 weeks I've almost went straight into a cyclist - there wont be a fourth. I, the bigbiffo, solemnly swear that the next ham-headed, ignorant, inconsiderate f'uckwit on a bicycle who thinks they're going fast enough to beat a red light light will be run down by me - I am braking no more.

Am I right to cause (what should be minor physical injury) to random f'uckwits on bikes (like, get a real mode of transport) just to prove a point? Oh, and I'm calling on all other moped, scooter, motorbike users too...maybe a few knocks off the 2 wheelers at the top of the traffic will spread the word amongst the hippies...

MagicMarker · 09-05-2011 02:04PM

I hate those fúcking eejits driving scooters, scumbags the lot of them.

Praetorian Saighdiuir · 09-05-2011 02:04PM

Feel better ****wit?

mgmt · 09-05-2011 02:04PM

You seem to be a scumbag.

Celly Smunt · 09-05-2011 02:04PM

i just don't like when they take up half the road

Alanstrainor · 09-05-2011 02:05PM

Just chill. Life gets easier when you don't get worked up about pointless crap.

Duggy747 · 09-05-2011 02:06PM

Don't run them over, they leave a stubborn stain on the bottom of your car.

Instead drive up beside them, get out a stick and push them over. Much hilarity ensues.

EDIT: Since I don't drive I have a serious problem with cyclists screaming up and down the path barely brushing by me. Just once I'd like to stick my arm out and clothes line the pricks.

seamus · 09-05-2011 02:06PM

thebigbiffo wrote: »

Oh, and I'm calling on all other moped, scooter, motorbike users to...maybe a few knocks off the 2 wheelers at the top of the traffic will spread the word amongst the hippies...

You're forgetting that your machine weighs 120 kilos. Mine weighs 12. You can try push me at the top of the lights, but if I push back, you're going to fall over and knock over any other motors like a row of dominos

And they'll all blame you because you're just a scooter driver and not a real biker.

Celly Smunt · 09-05-2011 02:07PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Don't run them over, they leave a stubborn stain on the bottom of your car.

Instead drive up beside them, get out a stick and push them over. Much hilarity ensues.

giving them a little smack on the arse is better

Sanjuro · 09-05-2011 02:07PM

thebigbiffo wrote: »

But in general they're the biggest scumbag, inconsiderate road users you're ever likely to come across.

Taxi drivers are using bicycles now?

Wossack · 09-05-2011 02:07PM

green light means proceed if way is clear - not plough on regardless

thebigbiffo · 09-05-2011 02:07PM

nah - it's not that i want to cause random injury really - but better get knocked off by me than some s'hithead in an M3 tearing away after the lights go green...

I'm really just a rambling saint - a bit like the littlest hobo...except better looking...

Thatnastyboy · 09-05-2011 02:09PM

It annoys me to see people who think they are driving a motorbike, when, in fact they are driving a 2 stroke hairdryer with dinky wheels.

Go and buy a real bike. Hippie. :pac:

Maybe you should have a cup of tea and chill the flock out, let them off, cyclists are annoying, but non less than any other type of road user, they're all d!cks. No point saying that one type of road user is more annoying than another, its down to the individual.

Bus drivers are annoying as fk, are you gonna ram them on your bee-in-a-bottle?

:pac:

smokedeels · 09-05-2011 02:11PM

Jeremy Clarkson (thebigbiffo)

Cookie_Monster · 09-05-2011 02:12PM

Wossack wrote: »

green light means proceed if way is clear - not plough on regardless

this.

they may well have gone through the junction on orange and just take a bit longer to clear than cars... (or they could be light jumpers).

either way knocking them down will do you no good, nice insurance claim for the cyclist though

Celly Smunt · 09-05-2011 02:12PM

smokedeels wrote: »

Jeremy Clarkson (thebigbiffo)

will i thank now or later?

Michael 09 · 09-05-2011 02:14PM

Way to generalise that ALL cyclists are ignorant.

You could argue that scooter drivers are the worst of the lot. Not real bikers (because lets face it, your 'machine' is embarrassing) and too lazy to cycle. BUT they tend to be the vehicle most seen in cycle lanes.

To be honest, you sound like the wreckless one on the road who just tears off at lights. You're not the only one on the road.

ballsymchugh · 09-05-2011 02:15PM

i'll just knock down the next moped driver that comes against me in traffic in my lane just because they don't want to wait in that traffic

steve9859 · 09-05-2011 02:17PM

I'll stop running red lights when scooters and taxi drivers stop speeding up when they see the lights going red instead of slowing down, and stop playing that fun game where they see how many can get across the lights after they have gone red and the green man has appeared

Alkers · 09-05-2011 02:17PM

Scooters are ghey.
Seriously though, how petty are you, use your handlebars to steer around them next time and stop ruining the internet with your miserable dribbling.

Celly Smunt · 09-05-2011 02:17PM

Michael 09 wrote: »

You could argue that scooter drivers are the worst of the lot. Not real bikers (because lets face it, your 'machine' is embarrassing)

ah now,you can't wear tights on your bike and expect to call other people an embarrassment.

stovelid · 09-05-2011 02:18PM

Unfortunately a day is only 24 hours long so therefore not nearly long enough to eradicate every cycliist that smugly flouts traffic laws on a regular basis yet still demands expert driving and meticulous care from the gas-guzzling, seal-raping muderderous bastards in cars.

the groutch · 09-05-2011 02:19PM

I've had issues with cyclists running red lights, but as a pedestrian, not a motorist. There are certain crossings now where even though I have the green man, I still have to keep looking both ways, make sure one of them doesnt hit into me.

Even worse tho is as Duggy mentioned cyclists on footpaths. Alot of the time it's on the narrower ones, and were expected to jump out of their way.
Imo if you're not prepared to use the road, you shouldnt be on a bike

tbh, until cycling is at least partially regulated, things won't improve in a hurry.

Michael 09 · 09-05-2011 02:19PM

pmcmahon wrote: »

ah now,you can't wear tights on your bike and expect to call other people an embarrassment.

I'll have you know that I have been told that I look lovely in my tights.

dMaN24 · 09-05-2011 02:19PM

No one likes people on pushbikes. End of discussion.

Knasher · 09-05-2011 02:20PM

Damn right, the next time I see somebody running a red light I'm just going to plough on into them.

Of course unfortunately for me, I'm a cyclist (I always stop at red lights btw) and I usually see at least one car running them per day. So I'm probably not going to survive very long with this attitude.

Celly Smunt · 09-05-2011 02:21PM

why can't everyone just,shut up arguing,man the fúck up and get a car

Pataman · 09-05-2011 02:21PM

dMaN24 wrote: »

No one likes people on pushbikes. End of discussion.

I dont know about that, I see a few fit women cycling every day

Korvanica · 09-05-2011 02:25PM

Duggy747 wrote: »

Don't run them over, they leave a stubborn stain on the bottom of your car.

Instead drive up beside them, get out a stick and push them over. Much hilarity ensues.

EDIT: Since I don't drive I have a serious problem with cyclists screaming up and down the path barely brushing by me. Just once I'd like to stick my arm out and clothes line the pricks.

A fella tried to do that to me once... then had to stop at a red light...

I pulled up beside his passenger side window, and smashed his side mirror off.

Gave him the finger and cycled away...

****

Michael 09 · 09-05-2011 02:26PM

pmcmahon wrote: »

why can't everyone just,shut up arguing,man the fúck up and get a car

I have a car, traffic is nightmare though. Plus cycling in town is fun!

Wossack · 09-05-2011 02:27PM

Pataman wrote: »

I dont know about that, I see a few fit women cycling every day

+1 on that

most dangerous thing Im finding on the roads these days are hotties in skirts on bikes... sooner or later, they'll have me under a bus I tells ya

I'm going to knock down a random cyclist the next time they skip a red light...

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