Funny school stories

Duggy747 · 28-04-2011 11:16AM

Biology was always the most fun, probably because it was one of the few subjects I gave a shìt about.

Besides scaring the girls in the class with the dead rats we had to cut open the video of childbirth was a horrible experience.

The teacher kept telling us she didn't want to show us the actual birth itself since she thought it was rank, just wanted to show us the procedures leading up to it.

Anyways, the video is going along in quite a boring manner when out of the blue a hairy vagina appears taking up the entire screen, all the lads cheer.............which then turned to moans of disgust.

Eurgh, pools of blood jetted out as this baby slowly wormed his way out of his human cage. The teacher tried to fast-forward but instead hit rewind which then looked like the vagina sucked the baby back in and slurped up all of that blood.

She then hit fast-foward to skip it and this time the baby shot out at a hilarious, but still rancid, speed.

The vagina litteraly chewed the baby up and spat it out again

It was at that point I vowed never to get pregnant :pac:

BizzyC · 28-04-2011 12:16PM

Hard to remember all the stories from school...

Got into some trouble in 5th year when we got a new English teacher and I told her my name was "Max Power". I thought she had gotten the joke, but she pulled me out of a class red faced one day as she had obviously been embarassed in the teachers lounge.

We had a student teacher for business in 6th year who wouldn't let us out for break, so the entire class climbed out the windows.

I remember one day leading up to the LC, we came out of German to find the French class were half cut. Their teacher (an alchoholic) was so pleased with their performance in the mocks that he brought them to the pub during class and bought them all a round. The lads obvioulsy got as many in as they could...

We were sitting in the prefect's room during lunch one day when the principle came in to discuss the issue of racism in the school and how he wanted use to watch out for it. Unkown to him someone had written "Domo is a paki" (Italian guy, was meant to be ironic) on the board he was standing in front of, he wasn't very impressed when we couldn't contain the laughter and turned around...

Probably loads more but I'm done for now...

Big Nasty · 28-04-2011 12:36PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Been a while since you got the ride I presume?

:pac:

I think you could teach him a thing or two - including how to multi quote!:pac::pac:

siltirocker · 28-04-2011 01:48PM

I'm really waiting for Summerhill **** to come out.

Like the chalets burning, Army Jesus with the gun, fighting gardai at the strikes, bags'n'bangers or any 'SPA Curran'/Frosty related stuff.

talla10 · 28-04-2011 02:09PM

A guy on my class got suspended for farting in class!!

Although funniest story ever (well it was at the time) we (3 of us) borrowed another student journal and got his parents work contact details, phoned them up pretending to be the principal and that 'Paul' had had a terrible accident and was taken to hospital and was in ICU. Felt bad after cause they rushed to the hospital only to realise it was a prank but at 14 years old it was comical!!

tayto lover · 28-04-2011 07:12PM

talla10 wrote: »

A guy on my class got suspended for farting in class!!

Although funniest story ever (well it was at the time) we (3 of us) borrowed another student journal and got his parents work contact details, phoned them up pretending to be the principal and that 'Paul' had had a terrible accident and was taken to hospital and was in ICU. Felt bad after cause they rushed to the hospital only to realise it was a prank but at 14 years old it was comical!!

I'd say those parents found the whole thing hilarious.

wild_cat · 28-04-2011 10:02PM

vampire of kilmainham wrote: »

OMG iam shocked yis will all burn in the very pits of hell:D any chance of a ride:D:D:D

No, it didn't matter as they were yet to be blessed or turned into the flesh of Jesus.

There'll be no riding.

iangobl · 28-04-2011 10:13PM

On sports day guy in my class stepped up to the welly toss.............. Threw it half the length of the pitch............it bounced......... and hit my tutor right in the gee

Paparazzo · 28-04-2011 11:24PM

In secondary school while we were between classes, our class used to sing the frank sinatra sing "new York, new York". 32 blokes, all giving it socks, must have sounded good for the teacher coming up the corridor.

Dangerous Man · 28-04-2011 11:56PM

Mickjg wrote: »

Once in business class in what must have been 3rd year, the teacher went to leave and just as he was going out the door he turned to the class and says "I'll be bawk".

To which the culchiest lad in the class replied "Fock you awsshole" (just as the door closed). We died with the laughter. Last person you would expect to have seen Terminator, yet alone be able to quote it.

In English class, the same lad gave us another classic. We were talking about media, and we were discussing characters that represent corporations. Mickey Mouse for Disney was one, Ronald McDonald for McDonalds was another. This fella puts his hand up.
Lynch: Brennan's Bread.
Teacher: Who's the character for Brennan's Bread?
Lynch: Pat the Baker.

Class erupts in laughter. Some man for one man he was.

That Terminator quote is solid gold. I just spent the last two minutes laughing my head off at that.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup · 29-04-2011 12:04AM

This is not in my school or even in Ireland, stolen from Reddit:

High school years I had a calculus teacher who hated anyone with an mp3 player, whether or not it was in use. She was known to confiscate them even if earbuds were hanging out of a backpack. One day my friend comes into class sits down and puts on these huge obnoxious headphones. Teacher gets pissed, starts screaming at him, and asks him to open his bag so she could confiscate the contraband. Well, he unzips his bag to reveal that the headphones were plugged into a small pumpkin. She looks confused and walks back to her desk carrying the pumpkin with her.

Some other good stories in that reddit thread if anyone cares:
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/fubkp/what_is_your_funniest_inclass_story/

Funny school stories

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