Funny school stories

7sr2z3fely84g5

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

landsleaving

Yeah, there was this guy who'd ask us questions about ourselves, but never tell us anything about himself.

themadchef

This one time, at band camp...




Actually nope. I was as dull as dishwater.

stevejr

Yes, yes I have.

For Forks Sake

landsleaving wrote: »

Yeah, there was this guy who'd ask us questions about ourselves, but never tell us anything about himself.

Goose something, was it ??

phasers

You had to be there.

landsleaving

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Goose something, was it ??

No, Dave.

stevejr

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Goose something, was it ??

I thought he was killed in that bad plane crash with Maverick.

Thrill

stevejr wrote: »

Yes, yes I have.

I thought I had too, but then I remembered it was just a dream.

admiralofthefleet

Mauricio Hot Lifeboat wrote: »

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

have you?

i was still drunk from the night before in metal work one friday morning and operated a machine with the allen key still in it. it took a couple of those foam ceiling slates out

ArtyM

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

bop1977

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

Kevin Duffy

Yes, someone does have funny stories from their schooldays.

ejmaztec

ArtyM wrote: »

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

The surgery must have had a fucking huge waiting-room.

landsleaving

bop1977 wrote: »

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

It's funny now. What an idiot she was.

cunningtino

hahah very funny

Kevin Duffy

bop1977 wrote: »

stairs in the middle of the class room.

Did you go to school in a shopping centre, castle, dungeon, submarine or other unusually laid out structure? Help me picture this, please.

stevejr

Mauricio Hot Lifeboat wrote: »

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

I shagged Ms Hayes my 3rd year Science teacher. It was brilliant........

















Only messing. She was crap......

strokemyclover

There was this guy named Howard-something back in 5th year who was found riding a goose by the Gardaí, it was mentioned in the local rag and everyone knew who it was. From then on he was known as Geese Howard

stevejr

ArtyM wrote: »

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

:pac:So bad it's good!

Kevin Duffy

bop1977 wrote: »

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

stevejr wrote: »

I shagged Ms Hayes my 3rd year Science teacher. It was brilliant........

Only messing. She was crap......

In fairness, it was probably the earlier trauma that ruined her performance.

The Princess Bride

We had a nun teaching civics- we were doing sex ed and she asked us to write any questions down anonymously and confidentially, and she'd answer as best she could.

In front of class of 20+ teenage girls, first question
: when is the safest time during month to have sex????

The Nun's blush started at her ankles and swiftly moved to her ears-mortification- we all sniggered as she tried to tell us we shouldn't ask those questions .....




.......never did get the answer....

The Princess Bride

msthe80s wrote: »

We had a nun teaching civics- we were doing sex ed and she asked us to write any questions down anonymously and confidentially, and she'd answer as best she could.

In front of class of 20+ teenage girls, first question
: when is the safest time during month to have sex????

The Nun's blush started at her ankles and swiftly moved to her ears-mortification- we all sniggered as she tried to tell us we shouldn't ask those questions .....




.......never did get the answer....

Same school different nun--- got pregnant .....nothing immaculate about it either ! gave us something to laugh about though.

ArtyM

strokemyclover wrote: »

There was this guy named Howard-something back in 5th year who was found riding a goose by the Gardaí, it was mentioned in the local rag and everyone knew who it was. From then on he was known as Geese Howard

That nickname is a little weak for such an spectacular event.

If I may suggest...

Quacker Jacker

Edit: Never mind, I just noticed the f**king OPs name. Doh!

Seloth

When I was four I didnt want to go to school so ran down through the pitch next to it with all the teachers chasing after me,Most of them fell cept for the principal who looked like the Trunchable from Matilda(But was actually dead on:D).All the kids of the school were cheering me on from the wall hah.

Another time a kid cried cause we had no school the next day...He always cried :rolleyes:

strokemyclover

ArtyM wrote: »

That nickname is a little weak for such an spectacular event.

If I may suggest...

Quacker Jacker

Ahh there was loads of slaggin about it at the time, but Geese Howard is the one that sticks in my memory. I think Craig David's "Seven Days" was in the charts at the time and any time we'd see poor Howard we used to sing...

I met this Goose on Monday
Took her for some Paté on Tuesday
We were makin' love by Wednesday
etc..etc..

pockets3d

When we were learning animals in german in 1st year the teacher asked us if we cud name any birds
One lad shouts out in a loud bellowing voice ''DILDO!!''
He couldn't honestly understand what he did wrong when we were pissing ourselves laughing. He meant to say Dodo . The old bat nearly had him suspended for sexual harassment because she was a lesbian (which he nor we knew at the time).

landsleaving

pockets3d wrote: »

When we were learning animals in german in 1st year the teacher asked us if we cud name any birds
One lad shouts out in a loud bellowing voice ''DILDO!!''
He couldn't honestly understand what he did wrong when we were pissing ourselves laughing. He meant to say Dodo . The old bat nearly had him suspended for sexual harassment because she was a lesbian (which he nor we knew at the time).

Damn, you edit fast!

Princess Peach

The best days of school were when a dog would come in and everyone would go mental, as if we never saw a dog before! We once hid a dog in our cloakroom from a nun!

Or when bold boys would ride their bikes on the grounds of our school and we were all ordered to look away, in case we got pregnant or something.

Or when the naughty girls would break a red pen on a always pad and stick it to the outside of the bin.

Or when I said orgasm instead of organism in science.

Or the very fun day of the farting machine in elocution class :pac:

Aw man, those were the days.

jimthemental

msthe80s wrote: »

Same school different nun--- got pregnant .....nothing immaculate about it either ! gave us something to laugh about though.

Bet she was a science teacher too!

I love them nuns, whenever I see them I hear Morgan Freeman's voice describing their movements in my head.

sunflower27

We always had to recite this school creed:

This is our school, Let peace dwell here
Let the place be full of contentment, Let love abide here
Love of one another, love of mankind and love of life itself,
And let us remember that as many hands build a house,
Many hearts make a school

Amen

The school principal would say a line at assembly and then we would all repeat it till the end. At the end of it, the principal would say 'Thank you, quietly sit' and evey week the assembly would say 'Thank you, quietly sit'.

The principal went mental every week

Dan133269

Ah god I'm in hysterics already. So many memories, highlights include:

- The time we got a computer in the school for the first time, we were about 12 I suppose. It was down the back of class, and we were allowed to use it to type out a poem from our English textbook. There were 2 of us using it at the time. My schoolfriend was typing out a poem called "The Wild, The Free" about horses or something. I then got the idea to erase "The Free" and type in "Fanny" instead so that it read "The Wild Fanny". Seeing the word typed up on a computer screen at that age sent us into hysterics, and we didn't want to draw attention to our laughing lest the teacher notice and come down to see what we had wrote. We were laughing so much and trying not to make any noise I genuinely thought I was going to pass out.

- The time the teacher broke the chair when he sat on it.

-Pretty much anytime someone farted.

- Seeing the teacher in a track suit for PE day.

- In primary school aged about 9, someone had brought in a condom and left in the middle of the school yard. Cue the whole school gathered around like it was some mythical object and everyone giggling nervously because almost everyone wasn't quite sure what it was but knew it was something naughty. Then the christian brother principal comes along wearing a pair of gloves to pick it up.

sunflower27

Oh another one, I remember when my primary school got its first computers. We would all queue up every lunchtime to play Pacman and it cost 20c. I remember standing in the queue for almost my whole luncbreak to then get out in about 20seconds. So pissed off, but did it the next day, and the next regardless

Actually, it wasn't Pacman... it was the one where you are a spaceship (I think) and move across the screen shooting at things that are trying to shoot you... can't remember the name of it...

jive

Yesterday was Wednesday at school and Wednesdays are always funny.
Today is Thursday we-we-we so excited. We so excited. We gonna have a ball today.

Thrill

sunflower27 wrote: »

can't remember the name of it...

Space Invaders?

http://www.freespaceinvaders.org/




.

Dudess

Someone put paint into one of those little holy water fonts on the wall. :pac:

Oranage2

During one of those fire drills -a lad in my class(probably high at the time) starting screaming "we're all going to die" then he picked up a chair and through it at the window -

sunflower27

Thrill wrote: »

Space Invaders?

Yeah, that's it..... thank you Oh, I loved it. Couldn't play it for **** though. The kids that had computers at home would sit on it for ages and then you'd get the kids that didn't that always got out really fast (me!)

Dangerous Man

I love these threads! Yeah - one day we were playing 'three and you're in.' As usual, with about four or five lads playing there was always a dodgy tackle here and there or a row about this or that. Anyway, one lad tripped the other one up and everyone pissed themselves - it was a horrible tackle and the lad went flying. He got up, seriously pissed off and pulled a fucking knife from his pocket. He went over and stabbed the other lad in the neck. We all watched shocked as he fell to the ground begging for his 'mammy.' He bled to death.

strokemyclover

Dangerous Man wrote: »

I love these threads! Yeah - one day we were playing 'three and you're in.' As usual, with about four or five lads playing there was always a dodgy tackle here and there or a row about this or that. Anyway, one lad tripped the other one up and everyone pissed themselves - it was a horrible tackle and the lad went flying. He got up, seriously pissed off and pulled a fucking knife from his pocket. He went over and stabbed the other lad in the neck. We all watched shocked as he fell to the ground begging for his 'mammy.' He bled to death.

Ahh Jesus, c'mon man! Cop on!

Dangerous Man

Oh, FUNNY stories? No - none of those.

Snappy the Moose

Bunch of girls were talking in class one day, the teacher reprimanded them with a stern roar of "Girls", which was followed wittingly from a classmate with "Drink! Feck!"

One of many classics

tayto lover

When we were learning the story of St. Patrick and the teacher was telling us about him being taken prisoner by Niall of the Nine Hostages and brought by ship to Ireland. One of the lads was drawing in his copy and not listening to the story at all. The teacher copped him and asked him how St. Patrick got to Ireland?
The lad was so engrossed he didn't hear the teacher calling out his name. Then the teacher roared out his name and the lad stood up startled and was asked to answer the question which he hadn't heard. The boy sitting behind him whispered "on a bicycle". When the lad said "on a bicycle Sir" the whole place erupted and even the teacher went into hysterics.

strokemyclover

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Oh, FUNNY stories? No - none of those.

You win, well done!

Oranage2

Another kinda funny story -

The whole school sat in the canteen 250 students or so at lunch time(small school), and it was pancake tuesday - well a food fight broke out (which happened atleast once a week) and the principle ended up getting hit it the face with a pancake - whole school was in hysterics!


School days were so fun!!!!

rainbowdrop

Remember the whole school (about 800 of us) lined up in the playground one day, the Principal at the front giving us a bollocking about something or other and a pigeon shit on his head in front of everyone.........:D

800 teenagers simultaneously pissed themselves laughing whilst the principal turned the brightest shade of crimson I've ever seen. Happy days!

CK2010

It didnt happen at my school but its still funny!

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=64366270

wild_cat

My friends and I were a complete pack of messers and for some reason we were given the job of dressing the alter at the start of a mass. My old school was a very large all female school.

So a few hours before hand they want us to do a practice run.

They dish out the various alter items, bar the flowers which are yet to arrive. As a stand in for the flowers in my friend is given a large sweet tin. We're sent down to the back of a large sports hall and told to stand outside the back entrance and wait for the music to start and then begin our procession.

So we're standing outside on a grassy patch waiting ages for this music to start. We start to joke around a bit and the sweet tin is knocked out of my friends hand. It falls to the ground and opens. Communion wafers and one really giant communion wafer fall everywhere.

Its fùcking snowing them.

We all burst into laughter and start to throw them at one another but then realise that if caught we are in serious trouble and the music might start at any moment.

We all try to pick them up, but they are everywhere, in the grass, on a tiny patch of concrete, some in a puddle of muck and a few had blown in onto the very start of the specially rolled out carpet.

So we scrape them up by the handful, bits of grass and all. I walk the wet ones into the muck and only a tiny bit is gone from the large wafer. The music starts and we walk in as if nothing has happened.

So when the actual time for the communion came the five of us sat there in the pisses of laughter, laughing at everyone eating the manky communion. I didn't go up for it and the others that did threw it at each other when they came down.

Needless to say we're all atheists now.

vampire of kilmainham

**** in the biology class looking up the teachers skirt she was hot:D

vampire of kilmainham

strokemyclover wrote: »

There was this guy named Howard-something back in 5th year who was found riding a goose by the Gardaí, it was mentioned in the local rag and everyone knew who it was. From then on he was known as Geese Howard

bet the gardai forgot to mention giving it to him up the ass back at the station reckon he was goosed:D

babyface11

after pe in 3rd year the shirt i brought was too small but had to wear it after the shower anyway, i was late for class and when i sat down one of the buttons near my boobs snapped off and whacked the teacher in the face i was morto!!!