Funny school stories

Dan133269 wrote: »

Ah god I'm in hysterics already. So many memories, highlights include:

- The time we got a computer in the school for the first time, we were about 12 I suppose. It was down the back of class, and we were allowed to use it to type out a poem from our English textbook. There were 2 of us using it at the time. My schoolfriend was typing out a poem called "The Wild, The Free" about horses or something. I then got the idea to erase "The Free" and type in "Fanny" instead so that it read "The Wild Fanny". Seeing the word typed up on a computer screen at that age sent us into hysterics, and we didn't want to draw attention to our laughing lest the teacher notice and come down to see what we had wrote. We were laughing so much and trying not to make any noise I genuinely thought I was going to pass out.

- The time the teacher broke the chair when he sat on it.

-Pretty much anytime someone farted.

- Seeing the teacher in a track suit for PE day.

- In primary school aged about 9, someone had brought in a condom and left in the middle of the school yard. Cue the whole school gathered around like it was some mythical object and everyone giggling nervously because almost everyone wasn't quite sure what it was but knew it was something naughty. Then the christian brother principal comes along wearing a pair of gloves to pick it up.

wild_cat wrote: »

My friends and I were a complete pack of messers and for some reason we were given the job of dressing the alter at the start of a mass. My old school was a very large all female school.

So a few hours before hand they want us to do a practice run.

They dish out the various alter items, bar the flowers which are yet to arrive. As a stand in for the flowers in my friend is given a large sweet tin. We're sent down to the back of a large sports hall and told to stand outside the back entrance and wait for the music to start and then begin our procession.

So we're standing outside on a grassy patch waiting ages for this music to start. We start to joke around a bit and the sweet tin is knocked out of my friends hand. It falls to the ground and opens. Communion wafers and one really giant communion wafer fall everywhere.

Its fùcking snowing them.

We all burst into laughter and start to throw them at one another but then realise that if caught we are in serious trouble and the music might start at any moment.

We all try to pick them up, but they are everywhere, in the grass, on a tiny patch of concrete, some in a puddle of muck and a few had blown in onto the very start of the specially rolled out carpet.

So we scrape them up by the handful, bits of grass and all. I walk the wet ones into the muck and only a tiny bit is gone from the large wafer. The music starts and we walk in as if nothing has happened.

So when the actual time for the communion came the five of us sat there in the pisses of laughter, laughing at everyone eating the manky communion. I didn't go up for it and the others that did threw it at each other when they came down.

Needless to say we're all atheists now.

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Did you go to school in a shopping centre, castle, dungeon, submarine or other unusually laid out structure? Help me picture this, please.