Funny school stories

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 27-04-2011 10:37PM #1

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 10:40PM

Yeah, there was this guy who'd ask us questions about ourselves, but never tell us anything about himself.

themadchef · 27-04-2011 10:40PM

This one time, at band camp...

Actually nope. I was as dull as dishwater.

stevejr · 27-04-2011 10:40PM

Yes, yes I have.

For Forks Sake · 27-04-2011 10:40PM

landsleaving wrote: »

Yeah, there was this guy who'd ask us questions about ourselves, but never tell us anything about himself.

Goose something, was it ??

phasers · 27-04-2011 10:41PM

You had to be there.

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 10:41PM

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Goose something, was it ??

No, Dave.

stevejr · 27-04-2011 10:42PM

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Goose something, was it ??

I thought he was killed in that bad plane crash with Maverick.

Thrill · 27-04-2011 10:43PM

stevejr wrote: »

Yes, yes I have.

I thought I had too, but then I remembered it was just a dream.

admiralofthefleet · 27-04-2011 10:44PM

Mauricio Hot Lifeboat wrote: »

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

have you?

i was still drunk from the night before in metal work one friday morning and operated a machine with the allen key still in it. it took a couple of those foam ceiling slates out

ArtyM · 27-04-2011 10:47PM

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

bop1977 · 27-04-2011 10:48PM

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

Kevin Duffy · 27-04-2011 10:49PM

Yes, someone does have funny stories from their schooldays.

ejmaztec · 27-04-2011 10:50PM

ArtyM wrote: »

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

The surgery must have had a fucking huge waiting-room.

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 10:50PM

bop1977 wrote: »

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

It's funny now. What an idiot she was.

cunningtino · 27-04-2011 10:50PM

hahah very funny

Kevin Duffy · 27-04-2011 10:52PM

bop1977 wrote: »

stairs in the middle of the class room.

Did you go to school in a shopping centre, castle, dungeon, submarine or other unusually laid out structure? Help me picture this, please.

stevejr · 27-04-2011 10:53PM

Mauricio Hot Lifeboat wrote: »

Anyone any funny stories from their school days?.

I shagged Ms Hayes my 3rd year Science teacher. It was brilliant........

Only messing. She was crap......

strokemyclover · 27-04-2011 10:55PM

There was this guy named Howard-something back in 5th year who was found riding a goose by the Gardaí, it was mentioned in the local rag and everyone knew who it was. From then on he was known as Geese Howard

stevejr · 27-04-2011 10:55PM

ArtyM wrote: »

A school goes to the Doctor and says "I keep bumping into things"
Doctor replies "Maybe you need classes"

:pac:So bad it's good!

Kevin Duffy · 27-04-2011 10:56PM

bop1977 wrote: »

In a science class (16 16year olds, female teacher) we left a condom on the stairs in the middle of the class room. She left in tears and refused to teach us again. Was funny at the time.

stevejr wrote: »

I shagged Ms Hayes my 3rd year Science teacher. It was brilliant........

Only messing. She was crap......

In fairness, it was probably the earlier trauma that ruined her performance.

The Princess Bride · 27-04-2011 10:59PM

We had a nun teaching civics- we were doing sex ed and she asked us to write any questions down anonymously and confidentially, and she'd answer as best she could.

In front of class of 20+ teenage girls, first question
: when is the safest time during month to have sex????

The Nun's blush started at her ankles and swiftly moved to her ears-mortification- we all sniggered as she tried to tell us we shouldn't ask those questions .....

.......never did get the answer....

The Princess Bride · 27-04-2011 11:05PM

msthe80s wrote: »

We had a nun teaching civics- we were doing sex ed and she asked us to write any questions down anonymously and confidentially, and she'd answer as best she could.

In front of class of 20+ teenage girls, first question
: when is the safest time during month to have sex????

The Nun's blush started at her ankles and swiftly moved to her ears-mortification- we all sniggered as she tried to tell us we shouldn't ask those questions .....

.......never did get the answer....

Same school different nun--- got pregnant .....nothing immaculate about it either ! gave us something to laugh about though.

ArtyM · 27-04-2011 11:08PM

strokemyclover wrote: »

There was this guy named Howard-something back in 5th year who was found riding a goose by the Gardaí, it was mentioned in the local rag and everyone knew who it was. From then on he was known as Geese Howard

That nickname is a little weak for such an spectacular event.

If I may suggest...

Quacker Jacker

Edit: Never mind, I just noticed the f**king OPs name. Doh!

Seloth · 27-04-2011 11:11PM

When I was four I didnt want to go to school so ran down through the pitch next to it with all the teachers chasing after me,Most of them fell cept for the principal who looked like the Trunchable from Matilda(But was actually dead on:D).All the kids of the school were cheering me on from the wall hah.

Another time a kid cried cause we had no school the next day...He always cried :rolleyes:

strokemyclover · 27-04-2011 11:13PM

ArtyM wrote: »

That nickname is a little weak for such an spectacular event.

If I may suggest...

Quacker Jacker

Ahh there was loads of slaggin about it at the time, but Geese Howard is the one that sticks in my memory. I think Craig David's "Seven Days" was in the charts at the time and any time we'd see poor Howard we used to sing...

I met this Goose on Monday
Took her for some Paté on Tuesday
We were makin' love by Wednesday
etc..etc..

pockets3d · 27-04-2011 11:14PM

When we were learning animals in german in 1st year the teacher asked us if we cud name any birds
One lad shouts out in a loud bellowing voice ''DILDO!!''
He couldn't honestly understand what he did wrong when we were pissing ourselves laughing. He meant to say Dodo . The old bat nearly had him suspended for sexual harassment because she was a lesbian (which he nor we knew at the time).

landsleaving · 27-04-2011 11:15PM

pockets3d wrote: »

When we were learning animals in german in 1st year the teacher asked us if we cud name any birds
One lad shouts out in a loud bellowing voice ''DILDO!!''
He couldn't honestly understand what he did wrong when we were pissing ourselves laughing. He meant to say Dodo . The old bat nearly had him suspended for sexual harassment because she was a lesbian (which he nor we knew at the time).

Damn, you edit fast!

Princess Peach · 27-04-2011 11:19PM

The best days of school were when a dog would come in and everyone would go mental, as if we never saw a dog before! We once hid a dog in our cloakroom from a nun!

Or when bold boys would ride their bikes on the grounds of our school and we were all ordered to look away, in case we got pregnant or something.

Or when the naughty girls would break a red pen on a always pad and stick it to the outside of the bin.

Or when I said orgasm instead of organism in science.

Or the very fun day of the farting machine in elocution class :pac:

Aw man, those were the days.

jimthemental · 27-04-2011 11:32PM

msthe80s wrote: »

Same school different nun--- got pregnant .....nothing immaculate about it either ! gave us something to laugh about though.

Bet she was a science teacher too!

I love them nuns, whenever I see them I hear Morgan Freeman's voice describing their movements in my head.

sunflower27 · 27-04-2011 11:34PM

We always had to recite this school creed:

This is our school, Let peace dwell here
Let the place be full of contentment, Let love abide here
Love of one another, love of mankind and love of life itself,
And let us remember that as many hands build a house,
Many hearts make a school

Amen

The school principal would say a line at assembly and then we would all repeat it till the end. At the end of it, the principal would say 'Thank you, quietly sit' and evey week the assembly would say 'Thank you, quietly sit'.

The principal went mental every week

Funny school stories

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