Sad,childish and bitter little victories..

Phoenix Park · 26-04-2011 07:10PM #1

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

2. Got a beauty outside Connelly station heading towards the Quays in the car last week in heavy traffic on Monday (fecking roasting if you remember), i was in the left lane sweating like a dog sucking in exhaust fumes, this smug git in a better car than me in the right lane, fecker tried to pull in front of me when the traffic started moving without even indicating which wrecks my head ( knew by the look of him he was then going to dart into the bus lane after and beat the traffic-just knew by his fat ugly face he'd try that stunt), so i didn't let him in, he gives me the finger and mouths FCK YOU, pulls in behind me instead (sad dweeb behind me happy to let anyone walk all over him), then i notice a garda car at the top of the bus lane, yer man hasn't seen him, he jumps into the bus lane (what did i tell you), races up, pulled over by cop. Took about 5 minutes for my car to reach the guard writing him a ticket 'cause the traffic was so bad, guard had his back to me, yer man could see me over the guards shoulder, i rolled down the window and gave him the sweetest V sign i've ever given anyone and mouthed FCK YOU!!!!!. YEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!! HaHa, I WIN!!!!!!

moneyman · 26-04-2011 07:11PM

You're a very angry person :pac:

Oranage2 · 26-04-2011 07:13PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

2. Got a beauty outside Connelly station heading towards the Quays in the car last week in heavy traffic on Monday (fecking roasting if you remember), i was in the left lane sweating like a dog sucking in exhaust fumes, this smug git in a better car than me in the right lane, fecker tried to pull in front of me when the traffic started moving without even indicating which wrecks my head ( knew by the look of him he was then going to dart into the bus lane after and beat the traffic-just knew by his fat ugly face he'd try that stunt), so i didn't let him in, he gives me the finger and mouths FCK YOU, pulls in behind me instead (sad dweeb behind me happy to let anyone walk all over him), then i notice a garda car at the top of the bus lane, yer man hasn't seen him, he jumps into the bus lane (what did i tell you), races up, pulled over by cop. Took about 5 minutes for my car to reach the guard writing him a ticket 'cause the traffic was so bad, guard had his back to me, yer man could see me over the guards shoulder, i rolled down the window and gave him the sweetest V sign i've ever given anyone and mouthed FCK YOU!!!!!. YEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!! HaHa, I WIN!!!!!!

1) you sound like a gimp
2) Execellent - hate gits that try that, glad he got a ticket!!

MIRMIR82 · 26-04-2011 07:14PM

Ha ha - best laugh i had all day!!

im invisible · 26-04-2011 07:16PM

Oranage2 wrote: »

1) you sound like a gimp

,

DaveDaRave · 26-04-2011 07:16PM

what is wrong with you ?

Phoenix Park · 26-04-2011 07:18PM

moneyman wrote: »

You're a very angry person :pac:

i prefer sad,childish and bitter thank you very much :pac:

easyeason3 · 26-04-2011 07:18PM

Someone tried to jump the queue in a shop today & when I pointed it out to them they said 'yeah, and'?.
I took great satisfaction when the man standing behind me said 'yeah the queue starts back there so move'.

A small little victory.

Whahey! · 26-04-2011 07:20PM

Brilliant!!

van der vart · 26-04-2011 09:16PM

in a pub one night when an elderly lady came in selling scratch cards.
it ok to say no thanks if you want, but this knob had to try and be funny and mock the poor woman.Me and my mate said we would take one just to shut him up. Result, mate won 200 quid on the ticket the knob was offered.
Just to rub it in mate, bought everyone a pint except the knob.

Phoenix Park · 26-04-2011 09:30PM

van der vart wrote: »

in a pub one night when an elderly lady came in selling scratch cards.
it ok to say no thanks if you want, but this knob had to try and be funny and mock the poor woman.Me and my mate said we would take one just to shut him up. Result, mate won 200 quid on the ticket the knob was offered.
Just to rub it in mate, bought everyone a pint except the knob.

just to rub it in to who? yer man? i don't condone what he did, thats not childish or sad, thats just feckin horrible,i'm a true gent compared to that guy!

van der vart · 26-04-2011 09:52PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

just to rub it in to who? yer man? i don't condone what he did, thats not childish or sad, thats just feckin horrible,i'm a true gent compared to that guy!

Everyone is mate, I think he got that point when everyone got a pint except him

couldntthink · 26-04-2011 09:59PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

2. Got a beauty outside Connelly station heading towards the Quays in the car last week in heavy traffic on Monday (fecking roasting if you remember), i was in the left lane sweating like a dog sucking in exhaust fumes, this smug git in a better car than me in the right lane, fecker tried to pull in front of me when the traffic started moving without even indicating which wrecks my head ( knew by the look of him he was then going to dart into the bus lane after and beat the traffic-just knew by his fat ugly face he'd try that stunt), so i didn't let him in, he gives me the finger and mouths FCK YOU, pulls in behind me instead (sad dweeb behind me happy to let anyone walk all over him), then i notice a garda car at the top of the bus lane, yer man hasn't seen him, he jumps into the bus lane (what did i tell you), races up, pulled over by cop. Took about 5 minutes for my car to reach the guard writing him a ticket 'cause the traffic was so bad, guard had his back to me, yer man could see me over the guards shoulder, i rolled down the window and gave him the sweetest V sign i've ever given anyone and mouthed FCK YOU!!!!!. YEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!! HaHa, I WIN!!!!!!

Fair play. It's the small victories everyday that make the difference.

I was in traffic one day and pulling out to turn right at a box junction. A guy tried to stop me pulling out even though I was going right and he couldn't clear the box. I pulled out on front of him and forced him to brake in the middle of the box. He honked and mouthed something. I stopped right on front of him did the classic V sign that Fr. Dick Byrne uses in the Eurosong episode of Father Ted. Big smile on my face. He went nuts inside the car he literally started screaming and I laughed at him and drove off. I felt good all day. Mainly because I was in the right and he was such a knob jockey.

jomc · 26-04-2011 10:08PM

couldntthink wrote: »

Fair play. It's the small victories everyday that make the difference.

I was in traffic one day and pulling out to turn right at a box junction. A guy tried to stop me pulling out even though I was going right and he couldn't clear the box. I pulled out on front of him and forced him to brake in the middle of the box. He honked and mouthed something. I stopped right on front of him did the classic V sign that Fr. Dick Byrne uses in the Eurosong episode of Father Ted. Big smile on my face. He went nuts inside the car he literally started screaming and I laughed at him and drove off. I felt good all day. Mainly because I was in the right and he was such a knob jockey.

J_E · 26-04-2011 10:10PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

I love this guy.

couldntthink · 26-04-2011 10:12PM

That's the one. Oh yes. Most annoying thing you can do to someone to say f you.

stovelid · 27-04-2011 09:43AM

Pity you didn't just post the second story which was a classic.

kfallon · 27-04-2011 09:56AM

moneyman wrote: »

You're a very angry person :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoQQQ0e4VRo

frag420 · 27-04-2011 09:57AM

easyeason3 wrote: »

Someone tried to jump the queue in a shop today & when I pointed it out to them they said 'yeah, and'?.
I took great satisfaction when the man standing behind me said 'yeah the queue starts back there so move'.

A small little victory.

I was in the Spar around corner from my old office. Got my lunch from the deli and proceeded to the counter. There were no staff behind the counter at this stage. There are three cash regs there and there was a young one standing with her arms full of groceries waiting to be served. I walked up to a different cash reg and for some reason the staff member decided to serve me first.

The young wan in her thick Dub knacker accent accent says " oi f*cker do you know what the fcuk a queue is" and made sure half the shop heard her roaring at me.

At this stage there were two people standing behind me so I turned to her and said " of course I know what a queue is, it generally when more than one person is standing in single file one behind the other waiting to avail of a service or purchase a product and I just started one and you can join it at the back if you like for no charge"

That shut her up...............

Ironicaly I hate queues and if I am in a shop and the queue is more than 5-6 people I walk out.

frAg

kfallon · 27-04-2011 10:00AM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid, Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her head and said Oh congratulations she's lovely, whats her name? Then I walked off home wondering what might have been and cried myself to sleep that night,I still love her!

2. Got a beauty outside Connelly station heading towards the Quays in the car last week in heavy traffic on Monday (fecking roasting if you remember), i was in the left lane sweating like a dog sucking in exhaust fumes, this smug git in a better car than me in the right lane, fecker tried to pull in front of me when the traffic started moving without even indicating which wrecks my head ( knew by the look of him he was then going to dart into the bus lane after and beat the traffic-just knew by his fat ugly face he'd try that stunt), so i let him in cos I'm a good citizen. I then continued on my journey home which took another 25 mins to complete. During said journey I thought about what I could have for my dinner!

FYP :pac:

W.Shakes-Beer · 27-04-2011 10:33AM

When you're sitting in traffic and some gimp comes down the bus lane with the attempt of squeezing in, usually the executive type.

When the traffic starts to move I smile as I pin the front of my car to the car in front of me and watch as he has to stay in the bus lane.

If I could get a troll face decal for the back window it would be most suitable, with the words "Problem?" under it.

/off to eBay

DrumSteve · 27-04-2011 10:55AM

Driving along the quays in Dublin there a couple of months ago a Golf GTI was randomly trying to overtake just about everyone using the bus lane. Anyway this ****er tries this with me and pulls in front of me then breaks suddenly and I almost go into the back of him. Queue much anger from myself.

Anyway, I turned to herself and said I would really loved to have had the coppers there to see that so the twat would get a ticket.

So, he tried to overtake again using the buslane except the car in front of him is an undercover cop car, which then proceeds to pull him over.

Sweet justice. had a great laugh driving by him.

midlandsmissus · 27-04-2011 12:14PM

Op you have a gift for writing. Great laugh. Tell us some more.

RachaelVO · 27-04-2011 12:25PM

Charlie Sheen is on boards... HOW COOL!!!

The girlfriend one meh... that's a bit like kicking a dog.

The traffic one, makes you a demi god!!! I would have sold tickets for that one!

amacca · 27-04-2011 12:32PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

what I found funny about the first one above (apart from the fact its funny on its own) is the fact that my dad is able to do stuff like that without even trying or even being aware of it some of the time

eg: mother in law makes apple tart for tea years ago....mam asks him did he like that expecting the stock "it was lovely - absolutely gorgeous - thanks very much mother in law" type platitudes instead dad responds with a " it was nice but not as nice as mrs jones used to make"

aunt got house completely painted and gardens all done etc over the summer and we were over - naturally we got the grand tour from gushing proud aunty...dad after a while "its lovely, what colour did they paint the plinth?" there was no plinth on the house as it was an old house.....aunt thought he already knew this as he done a lot of building work...I still dont know to this day if he meant it or was just daydreaming and didn't think...aunt clammed up almost immediately

waiting for a hearse to arrive to removal of a distant relative in a church...it was quite late ...everyone getting fidgety at this stage after 40mins+ of a wait....dad remarks "I wonder if he got away on them?"...all the back seats start rocking with laughter.....this is one of the few times I have ever seen my mother properly mortified....didn't talk to him for weeks afterwards...I though she was was going to physically harm him at the time.

class!..... my dad, the Rodney Dangerfield of rural ireland.

Dangerous Man · 27-04-2011 01:48PM

amacca wrote: »

what I found funny about the first one above (apart from the fact its funny on its own) is the fact that my dad is able to do stuff like that without even trying or even being aware of it some of the time

eg: mother in law makes apple tart for tea years ago....mam asks him did he like that expecting the stock "it was lovely - absolutely gorgeous - thanks very much mother in law" type platitudes instead dad responds with a " it was nice but not as nice as mrs jones used to make"

aunt got house completely painted and gardens all done etc over the summer and we were over - naturally we got the grand tour from gushing proud aunty...dad after a while "its lovely, what colour did they paint the plinth?" there was no plinth on the house as it was an old house.....aunt thought he already knew this as he done a lot of building work...I still dont know to this day if he meant it or was just daydreaming and didn't think...aunt clammed up almost immediately

waiting for a hearse to arrive to removal of a distant relative in a church...it was quite late ...everyone getting fidgety at this stage after 40mins+ of a wait....dad remarks "I wonder if he got away on them?"...all the back seats start rocking with laughter.....this is one of the few times I have ever seen my mother properly mortified....didn't talk to him for weeks afterwards...I though she was was going to physically harm him at the time.

class!..... my dad, the Rodney Dangerfield of rural ireland.

I betcha he gets no respect.

The Minstrel · 27-04-2011 02:01PM

van der vart wrote: »

Everyone is mate

Do we have to call each other "mate"? This is not Australia.

Wheelie King · 27-04-2011 02:08PM

Good one from about 15 years ago from a banklink machine just off Grafton street. It was a weekend night and there was a fair size queue at the machine full of anxious drinkers trying to get a few quid out. I was about 5th or 6th in the queue when three office type pricks walked right up the front and stood in behind the girl taking money out. When she moved they darted in to the machine to get some cash. The bloke behind them did'nt seem to give a fu ck and let them go about there business looked like he did'nt need the trouble but a girl behind him mentioned to them that the queue started back down the path and she was in a hurry. They proceeded to call her a "slut" and to "go find someone to blow". With that the bloke who did'nt look like he gave two fu cks took off his jacket and told them that he was going to "teach them a lesson" to which the pricks responded with laughter.

They picked on the wrong bloke as he made mince meat of two of them whilst the other bloke did a runner. He then put his jacket back on and told the girl to go ahead and get her money out as he was in no hurry. Fecking hero.

Fremen · 27-04-2011 02:14PM

I was walking down the road minding my own business when a child of about four or five flies by me on a scooter, coming within about six inches of hitting me.

He paused at the end of the road, so when I caught up to him, I booted him into a hedge and was on my way.

steddyeddy · 27-04-2011 02:24PM

Would hollowing out someones fishfingers and poking dog **** in count as a bitter childish thing to do?

thebullkf · 27-04-2011 02:52PM

Phoenix Park wrote: »

A couple of beauties this week and i can't help but gleefully share:

1. Bumped into an ex on Dawson street at the weekend, she was holding her kid (presumably hers- though i think she's not even married, THE HUSSY!!!!). Could clearly tell its a girl, patted her ugly bald head and said Oh congratulations he's lovely, whats his name?. Could nearly hear her teeth clench as she politely told me Oh its a girl actually, we called her Sarah, she's so adorable blah blah. Ha Ha. I win!

second story was good. the one above

is moronic tbh.

what age are you OP?

Sad,childish and bitter little victories..

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