Porn Buddies

liah · 22-04-2011 12:32PM #1

A 'porn buddy' is someone who, when you die, comes to your house and cleans out all your porn/embarrassing stuff that you don't want anyone to know about before your relatives/friends/what not get there.

Think the idea's featured as a subplot/throwaway line in either Coupling or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or something, forget where I heard it, but that's what I've been watching lately. Maybe you've seen it.

Anyway, got me thinking - would you have a porn buddy to clean up your dirty secrets for when you kick the bucket?

Doesn't have to be for porn, either; do you have anything in your house that you don't want anyone else to see that might make people think very differently of your memory if they found it? And do/would you have a buddy who'd keep your memory clean and pure in the event of your untimely demise?

Logical Fallacy · 22-04-2011 12:33PM

liah wrote: »

A 'porn buddy' is someone who, when you die, comes to your house and cleans out all your porn/embarrassing stuff that you don't want anyone to know about before your relatives/friends/what not get there.

Think the idea's featured as a subplot/throwaway line in either Coupling or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or something, forget where I heard it, but that's what I've been watching lately. Maybe you've seen it.

Anyway, got me thinking - would you have a porn buddy to clean up your dirty secrets for when you kick the bucket?

Doesn't have to be for porn, either; do you have anything in your house that you don't want anyone else to see that might make people think very differently of your memory if they found it? And do you have a buddy who'd keep your memory clean and pure in the event of your untimely demise?

Yep, my girlfriend.

mikom · 22-04-2011 12:35PM

I have Max Clifford and a JCB front loader on speed dial

Biggins · 22-04-2011 12:35PM

liah wrote: »

...Anyway, got me thinking - would you have a porn buddy to clean up your dirty secrets for when you kick the bucket?

Doesn't have to be for porn, either; do you have anything in your house that you don't want anyone else to see that might make people think very differently of your memory if they found it? And do/would you have a buddy who'd keep your memory clean and pure in the event of your untimely demise?

Yes, have a mate that is authorised to look after matters concerning my life.
I trust him with my life - and so that trust extends to death too.

tan11ie · 22-04-2011 12:35PM

How much does one cost??

dvpower · 22-04-2011 12:36PM

You're worried about being embarrassed after you die?

liah · 22-04-2011 12:36PM

tan11ie wrote: »

How much does one cost??

You have to buy your friends?

W.Shakes-Beer · 22-04-2011 12:36PM

Porn cleaner for HIRE. Will dispose of for a small fee as well as keeping a few magazines for personal analysis.

liah · 22-04-2011 12:37PM

dvpower wrote: »

You're worried about being embarrassed after you die?

I'm not, just find the idea amusing.

Davey Devil · 22-04-2011 12:37PM

Who's cares what people think of you after you die. YOUR DEAD!!

holystungun9 · 22-04-2011 12:38PM

s'pose it would be embarrassing for my family if the priest mentioned Animal Farm in the eulogy. 'He was a good man, kind to his family and friends, but god did he love animals'

tan11ie · 22-04-2011 12:42PM

liah wrote: »

You have to buy your friends?

Not just any friend ...a porn buddy friend ..they are quite hard to cum by:rolleyes:

Biggins · 22-04-2011 12:44PM

Well I wouldn't want my children to find the pics of Mary Harney on top of me going for it!
Better a good friend destroy them LOL

liah · 22-04-2011 12:46PM

OSI wrote: »

What use is getting rid of your porn, when you family find you died after choking on a gag while being suspended from the ceiling being spanked by someone in a Nazi uniform.

Poor Mr. Carradine.

Doublin · 22-04-2011 12:46PM

I should get one, I've been caught out before. I was giving my old laptop to a cousin, her boyfriend was into computers so he was cleaning up all the old files. She was watching while he was doing this, and of course, he came across some saved video's...

She was not impressed & started giving me a lecture the next time we met (degrading to women etc.). The boyfriend, while trying not to laugh, tried to give me a 'get out' clause by saying they could have automatically downloaded onto my laptop without me knowing about it. Don't think she bought it..

dvpower · 22-04-2011 12:47PM

But what if it came out that you had arranged for someone to dispose of your porn? That would be more embarrassing than the porn being found.
Youd need someone to tie off that loose end (and so on).

tan11ie · 22-04-2011 12:48PM

Ah sure it will give them all something to talk about when your gone:D

liah · 22-04-2011 12:49PM

dvpower wrote: »

But what if it came out that you had arranged for someone to dispose of your porn? That would be more embarrassing than the porn being found.
Youd need someone to tie off that loose end (and so on).

You tell the porn buddy not to tell anyone (and never tell anyone else yourself, obviously), and then have a specially selected kill buddy to kill the porn buddy directly after he does his duty. You don't tell the kill buddy what the porn buddy does, so it dies with the porn buddy.

Problem solved. Your memory is safely in tact.

jimthemental · 22-04-2011 12:49PM

Biggins wrote: »

Well I wouldn't want my children to find the pics of Mary Harney on top of me going for it!
Better a good friend destroy them LOL

With that kind of filth I'd recommend you set up some kind or dead man's trigger to your computer with a half pound of semtex taped to it for good measure. That way when you croke the job will take care of itself. The semtex will also sort out any squabbles which may arise as to who will inherit your house.

strokemyclover · 22-04-2011 12:50PM

Is there such a thing as a Fritzl Buddy?

liah · 22-04-2011 12:51PM

strokemyclover wrote: »

Is there such a thing as a Fritzl Buddy?

Maybe on the black market.

syklops · 22-04-2011 12:53PM

This is what encryption is for.

Biggins · 22-04-2011 12:53PM

jimthemental wrote: »

With that kind of filth I'd recommend you set up some kind or dead man's trigger to your computer with a half pound of semtex taped to it for good measure. That way when you croke the job will take care of itself. The semtex will also sort out any squabbles which may arise as to who will inherit your house.

There would be no squabbles.
Who would want a house that had Harney shagging goodo in it! LOL :pac:

dvpower · 22-04-2011 12:56PM

liah wrote: »

You tell the porn buddy not to tell anyone (and never tell anyone else yourself, obviously), and then have a specially selected kill buddy to kill the porn buddy directly after he does his duty. You don't tell the kill buddy what the porn buddy does, so it dies with the porn buddy.

Problem solved. Your memory is safely in tact.

You're just kicking the can down the road.
If the kill buddy gets caught killing the porn buddy, people will know about the porn. We need a more complicated solution.

dvpower · 22-04-2011 12:59PM

syklops wrote: »

This is what encryption is for.

Well, I suppose, if you can get off on encryption...

admiralofthefleet · 22-04-2011 01:06PM

it is said that when the porn buddy went around to clear out the vatican after pope john paul II 7 builder size skips were needed

AnonoBoy · 22-04-2011 01:08PM

Pro tip: Photographs can also be saved on your phone's memory not just on the SIM card.

jimthemental · 22-04-2011 01:10PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Pro tip: Photographs can also be saved on your phone's memory not just on the SIM card.

Note to self: BURN EVERYTHING

phill106 · 22-04-2011 01:14PM

They can also delete all traces of nickleback and justin bieber from your itunes...

admiralofthefleet · 22-04-2011 01:17PM

liah wrote: »

Poor Mr. Carradine.

at least he died with a smile on his face

smash · 22-04-2011 01:18PM

I suppose someone's gotta get rid of the hookers and hitch hikers that are tied up in the basement.

Porn Buddies

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