is it wrong checking a partners phone?

It wasn't me! · 16-04-2011 11:48PM

Console wrote: »

the sad reality of life is that 99.9% of the time a cheating party will never admit to cheating when confronted. Its a sad world we live in

Tough shít. You're right. It is a sad world. Doesn't give you licence to stoop to that level though. Life is hard. Rise above it.

Console · 16-04-2011 11:51PM

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Tough shít. You're right. It is a sad world. Doesn't give you licence to stoop to that level though. Life is hard. Rise above it.

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

Capt'n Midnight · 16-04-2011 11:56PM

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I was deeply suspicious of an ex of mine so when she was in the bathroom I went through her bag and checked her phone. My deepest fears were confirmed and I had to dump her.

It WAS an i-phone.

yip iphone owners are more likely to be in debt than android or blackberry - 20% was the figure iIRC - poseurs willing to get in debt to look trendy - lucky escape my friend

Capt'n Midnight · 16-04-2011 11:59PM

dj jarvis wrote: »

one surefire way for him 2 find out if your a mentalist , does he own rabbits ?

and how long do you boil the for ?

Always thought that Glen Close looked skanky in that filum the wife was hotter, *shudders at the memory of ribs uggh*

It wasn't me! · 16-04-2011 11:59PM

Console wrote: »

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

Please don't cast aspersions on my character. I'm perfectly well aware of what I'd do. You haven't declared your views (explicitly - it's painfully clear what your actual perspective is) so it's not like I can disrespect what you haven't said. If I'm not satisfied that everyone in a relationship is playing ball, then I won't be in it. I don't need to check anyone's phone either. I have too much respect for myself. Sorry if you don't.

hondasam · 16-04-2011 11:59PM

Console wrote: »

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

I would imagine anyone that is cheating does not leave evidence lying around for their OH to find. Where do you stop snooping ? do you check their E mail, computer, follow them if they go out. It is not healthy to be so suspicious.

laughter189 · 17-04-2011 12:02AM

hondasam wrote: »

Yes it is wrong. everyone is entitled to privacy and secrets.

keep your phone locked at all times.

How do you lock your phone ?

Is it password protected ?

Console · 17-04-2011 12:02AM

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Please don't cast aspersions on my character. I'm perfectly well aware of what I'd do. You haven't declared your views (explicitly - it's painfully clear what your actual perspective is) so it's not like I can disrespect what you haven't said. If I'm not satisfied that everyone in a relationship is playing ball, then I won't be in it. I don't need to check anyone's phone either. I have too much respect for myself. Sorry if you don't.

Ok, lets forget checking a persons phone.

how should some one act. they have suspicions, and as you agree, world is harsh so its unlikely that anyone will let you know... what should someone do?

Naikon · 17-04-2011 12:04AM

Chances are, if it's important enough to be deemed private, you should not be broadcasting the message over SMS.

kowloon · 17-04-2011 12:05AM

Anyone who knows me knows that if their phone is left within reach I'll have it unlocked within seconds of them leaving the room and I will send sexy messages to that person they fancy, their boss or family.

It wasn't me! · 17-04-2011 12:08AM

Console wrote: »

Ok, lets forget checking a persons phone.

how should some one act. they have suspicions, and as you agree, world is harsh so its unlikely that anyone will let you know... what should someone do?

Confront the person, air their suspicions, and if they're not comfortable that they're being addressed truthfully, they shouldn't be in the relationship. If I suspect someone of lying to me and I can't be satisfied by them that they're telling the truth, I'm out of there.

littlemis · 17-04-2011 12:09AM

Yes i think it is wrong.Why would you want to.You either have a relationship based on love and trust or you don't....If you don't trust and love em, then f...k em and leave them.:)

It wasn't me! · 17-04-2011 12:10AM

littlemis wrote: »

f...k em and leave them.:)

In that order.

hondasam · 17-04-2011 12:10AM

laughter189 wrote: »

How do you lock your phone ?

Is it password protected ?

yes I can use a password If I want.

Console · 17-04-2011 12:12AM

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Confront the person, air their suspicions, and if they're not comfortable that they're being addressed truthfully, they shouldn't be in the relationship. If I suspect someone of lying to me and I can't be satisfied by them that they're telling the truth, I'm out of there.

Cant argue with that.

humberklog · 17-04-2011 12:19AM

If you're normal in the head and you have suspicions then your suspicions are probably right.

Don't bother reading through the phone, just throw it at them.

If you're suspicion are right then your better off without them.

If your suspicions are wrong then they're better off without you.

littlemis · 17-04-2011 12:26AM

If in doubt,get out.You can always use the line..It's not you it's me,you wont be lying as you will be the one with the problem.....Problem being. Doubt,lack of trust.....Hun, TRUST is foremost in any relationship, and the day you doubt that, should be the day you say goodbye..

Console · 17-04-2011 12:29AM

humberklog wrote: »

If you're normal in the head and you have suspicions then your suspicions are probably right.

Don't bother reading through the phone, just throw it at them.

If you're suspicion are right then your better off without them.

If your suspicions are wrong then they're better off without you.

I have to say, thats a good mentality to have.
+1

lmaopml · 17-04-2011 12:31AM

dj jarvis wrote: »

tbh it could also be a trap for you - women are not the only crafty ones.
one surefire way for him 2 find out if your a mentalist , does he own rabbits ?

hmmm! (''.) Owning bunnies is always a dead giveaway...

I regularly pick up my hubby's phone to see what new pics he took while out and about - no biggy, my phone is mostly in need of charging and he looks after that and would also pick it up and look through it in a non paranoid way..

If you're paranoid about your other half, than I would say going through their phone is really low - better to just ask them and see what transpires..

It depends on the relationship and if your stealing it out of his/her back pocket when they have to visit the loo or if they are displaying 'txt' syndrome at 4am when they should be in bed beside you - Well then, it's probably obvious without the confirmation via their mobile phone that they are pre-occupied - no further proof necessary.

..but having a peep at your other halfs phone doesn't always mean you're crazy suspicious, or even 'weird' - 'phones' and 'post' become the realm of the free for all within the household, for those of us who couldn't give a flying shyte and are committed.

You can probably tell my mobile is pretty boring really - X doesn't mark that spot hehe..

gargleblaster · 17-04-2011 12:36AM

Offtopic but some guy on the radio said that if you're in a relationship then you should have no trouble letting your partner have your facebook password and look through everything, and if someone didn't give their partner the password then that meant they were probably cheating. Oh, the hateful angry calls that came in after that.

It was hilarious.

Kaneda_ · 17-04-2011 12:41AM

silverspoon wrote: »

If you suspect your partner of cheating on you, checking their phone without their knowledge is the completely wrong thing to do.

What you should do is hire a private detective. This will cover you for the hours when you are sleeping/working/plotting. But you must take matters into your own hands also. Bug their place of work, tag them in order to track them via GPS - the usual set-up. If you drive, disguise your car to look like an unassuming pile of leaves. Follow your partner in your newly disguised car. Make sure you have a good quality camera. And don't forget to wear your camouflage gear and binoculars.

Hahaha great post !

upandcumming · 17-04-2011 01:13AM

Conor Dunne wrote: »

It is 100% wrong 2 ur partner's phone, if u ave suspicions dat something is up u have trust issues wit ur partner so i guess dat says alot da relationship

Please write properly.

TestymcTriblet · 17-04-2011 02:02AM

Not at all. women need to be monitered.

Console · 17-04-2011 02:09AM

haha, upandcoming.

But thats one thing that really grinds my gears. when people say "oh you shouldnt be in a relationship then" etc if you have suspicions or doubts.

Dont people realise each situation is different?
A guy could meet a girl tomorrow. Get into a relationship. Guy is mad about girl, but in reality girl is only half into him and is playing the field behind his back. Do people ever stop to think that maybe the cheating party shouldnt be in a relationship rather than giving loads to a person who has suspicions?

Wolflikeme · 17-04-2011 02:13AM

123balltv wrote: »

I checked my ex boyfriends phone he did'nt mind
he put's everything about himself on facebook messages/photos/videos etc for the world to see/read
he never really cared much bout privacy

At least that's what he had you thinking.

jimmycrackcorm · 17-04-2011 02:15AM

It's wrong if you get caught.

littlemis · 17-04-2011 02:18AM

Console wrote: »

haha, upandcoming.

But thats one thing that really grinds my gears. when people say "oh you shouldnt be in a relationship then" etc if you have suspicions or doubts.

Dont people realise each situation is different?
A guy could meet a girl tomorrow. Get into a relationship. Guy is mad about girl, but in reality girl is only half into him and is playing the field behind his back. Do people ever stop to think that maybe the cheating party shouldnt be in a relationship rather than giving loads to a person who has suspicions?

Either way rightly or wrongly, whichever way you look at it the relationship should be made null and void.
Just me being nosy,but where do you stand in this? which side of the fence are you ?

Rodin · 17-04-2011 02:19AM

pincode the thing.
problem solved

watna · 17-04-2011 02:23AM

I couldn't care less if my OH looks at my phone. There's nothing in there and I regularly ask him to read texts to me if I'm driving, and he does the same. We also use each other's laptops and the passwords for our email accounts, facebook etc are saved on both. I've nothing to hide so I don't care if he goes in to my gmail to look for things. Sometimes I ask him to do that to print something for me.

It's only a big deal for a person if they have something to hide, imo.

Console · 17-04-2011 02:24AM

littlemis wrote: »

Either way rightly or wrongly, whichever way you look at it the relationship should be made null and void.
Just me being nosy,but where do you stand in this? which side of the fence are you ?

Interesting question littlemis,
See, well here is the thing .... if you check a partners phone out of insecurity / without reason. Its wrong. 100%.

But, on the flip side. if you had your suspicions (genuine level headed suspicions and not born out of any insecurity) then checked the phone and they were cheating? ... you cant exactly argue with why someone did that and it not being wrong. Cheating will always trump "insecurity" as cheating involves betrayal, lies and hurtfullness.

I guess this whole question is just a statement to what you can encounter in the world. Like in a perfect world there would be no cheating, and even if there was it would be nice for a person to be honest when asked. But you know yourself.

And where do you stand on it?

is it wrong checking a partners phone?

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