is it wrong checking a partners phone?

Console

See this so much on the PI/RI forum. That its automatically so wrong if you check your partners phone. Regardless if you find out they are even cheating :rolleyes:

Am I the only one who thinks that if you get the feelers/vibes something might be up, theres nothing wrong with checking a persons phone?

hondasam

Yes it is wrong. everyone is entitled to privacy and secrets.

keep your phone locked at all times.

easyeason3

Would you open your partners letters that are addressed only to them?

hondasam

easyeason3 wrote: »

Would you open your partners letters that are addressed only to them?

everything but the bills :pac:

PeakOutput

its wrong and if you get the 'feelers' you should know the person well enough to find out other then doing something so ****ty

Console

easyeason3 wrote: »

Would you open your partners letters that are addressed only to them?

Correction, would I steam open my partners mail read them then reseal ... :pac:


Ok, but time for a serious thought. I agree to check a partners phone for no reason makes a person insecure. Agree. But lets just say you have suspicion of cheating? ... then what?

and in another scenario, what if after looking, said partner was cheating? then where does it stand?

Conor Dunne

It is 100% wrong 2 ur partner's phone, if u ave suspicions dat something is up u have trust issues wit ur partner so i guess dat says alot da relationship

easyeason3

Console wrote: »

Correction, would I steam open my partners mail read them then reseal ... :pac:


Ok, but time for a serious thought. I agree to check a partners phone for no reason makes a person insecure. Agree. But lets just say you have suspicion of cheating? ... then what?

and in another scenario, what if after looking, said partner was cheating? then where does it stand?

Ask him/ her to give you the phone & search through it in front of them if your suspicion is eating you up.

I'd like to think if my fiance was cheating that I'd cut the bollocks off him but tbh I don't know how I'd react.

Storminateacup

I regularly ask the boy to read a text to me, or to reply to a text for me. I don't care if he reads something personal. My phone isn't harbouring the 7th mystery.

stevejr

hondasam wrote: »

Yes it is wrong. everyone is entitled to privacy and secrets.

keep your phone locked at all times.

Now there's a lady with something to hide...

Console

Conor Dunne wrote: »

It is 100% wrong 2 ur partner's phone, if u ave suspicions dat something is up u have trust issues wit ur partner so i guess dat says alot da relationship

... So what you are saying is, in everycase of cheating thats happened in the world. if said person had suspicion that their partner was cheating, they were in the wrong. that they shouldnt of been in the relationship ...

ok, so those classic stories we heard about a wife sleeping with the husbands best mate. i guess if the husband had any suspicions, he was "in the wrong"

Ardennes1944

checking if their phone is still there? sure why not

hondasam

stevejr wrote: »

Now there's a lady with something to hide...

LOL It's not about hiding. couples do not have to know everything about each other.

TeddyTedson

Console wrote: »

See this so much on the PI/RI forum. That its automatically so wrong if you check your partners phone. Regardless if you find out they are even cheating :rolleyes:

Am I the only one who thinks that if you get the feelers/vibes something might be up, theres nothing wrong with checking a persons phone?

You evil bitch/bastard

AskMyChocolate

I was deeply suspicious of an ex of mine so when she was in the bathroom I went through her bag and checked her phone. My deepest fears were confirmed and I had to dump her.

It WAS an i-phone.

Console

TeddyTedson wrote: »

You evil bitch/bastard

geez, thats a bit harsh!!!!! d*ckhead

ok, for all the people who think looking at there partners phone is wrong (no matter what the circumstance is) how would you advise someone in this situation:

A person has suspicions their partner is cheating. And lets say they are (cheating happens all the time) what do you advise someone to do?

themadchef

Suspicion + doubt + too much time to think about it = poison. Talk about it, before the rot goes root deep.

themadchef

easyeason3 wrote: »

I'd like to think if my fiance was cheating that I'd cut the bollocks off him but tbh I don't know how I'd react.

Love it!!

Amazingly you feel so fúcking gutted that you wouldint have the energy. Though, it's rather nice, when they try to crawl back, much more satisfying to crush them then

Hope you never experience it hun.

4zn76tysfajdxp

stevejr wrote: »

Now there's a lady with something to hide...

A penis.

BO NER

I catch girlfriend with my mobile all the time couldnt care less as soon as i pick hers up she swipes it off me

johnr1

BO NER wrote: »

I catch girlfriend with my mobile all the time couldnt care less as soon as i pick hers up she swipes it off me

That oughta tell you something..... no ? :rolleyes:

AskMyChocolate

johnr1 wrote: »

That oughta tell you something..... no ? :rolleyes:

Yep. He's on fixed monthly and she's on pay as you go.

Oh_Noes

Conor Dunne wrote: »

It is 100% wrong 2 ur partner's phone, if u ave suspicions dat something is up u have trust issues wit ur partner so i guess dat says alot da relationship

Your partner has been texting him ^^^

easyeason3

themadchef wrote: »

Love it!!

Amazingly you feel so fúcking gutted that you wouldint have the energy. Though, it's rather nice, when they try to crawl back, much more satisfying to crush them then

Hope you never experience it hun.

As you said hopefully I won't ever have to experience it but I've seen family & friends who have & it's horrible.

123balltv

I checked my ex boyfriends phone he did'nt mind
he put's everything about himself on facebook messages/photos/videos etc for the world to see/read
he never really cared much bout privacy

It wasn't me!

Yes, it's wrong. For several reasons.

Firstly, I'm entitled to my privacy, and if you go through my phone you're offending against that. If you have suspicions, talk to the person or other people or just get out of there.

Secondly, a significant other is not the only person in the world with whom I communicate, and probably not the only person who shares confidential things with me. If you go through my phone and find something said to me by someone else in confidence, you've now violated their privacy.

You have no right to any information on the phone, regardless of how important it was to you. How would you feel if someone found out something very private about you as in scenario two above?

bluto63

I never check my gfs phone and she never checks mine. Everyone's entitled to their privacy.

dj jarvis

if someone is playing away and is thick enough 2 use their mobile as a point of contact the deserve 2 be caught - check away


but me personally if my wife checked my phone or email and i was innocent of anything it would be so close 2 a deal breaker it would not be funny

i would NEVER check hers , never

tbh it could also be a trap for you - women are not the only crafty ones.
one surefire way for him 2 find out if your a mentalist , does he own rabbits ?

Console

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Yes, it's wrong. For several reasons.

Firstly, I'm entitled to my privacy, and if you go through my phone you're offending against that. If you have suspicions, talk to the person or other people or just get out of there.

Secondly, a significant other is not the only person in the world with whom I communicate, and probably not the only person who shares confidential things with me. If you go through my phone and find something said to me by someone else in confidence, you've now violated their privacy.

You have no right to any information on the phone, regardless of how important it was to you. How would you feel if someone found out something very private about you as in scenario two above?

very good reply
thanks for getting back, cause you raise good points.
As for me in general i dont hold any secrets with my girlfriend. but thats just me. Cant speak for everyone else.

there is only one thing i disagree with in your post, and its not so much disagreeing... the sad reality of life is that 99.9% of the time a cheating party will never admit to cheating when confronted. Its a sad world we live in

and sadly it happens time and time again where a friend will not reveal things out of not wanting to get involved...

jimbobaloobob

Console wrote: »

Correction, would I steam open my partners mail read them then reseal ... :pac:


Ok, but time for a serious thought. I agree to check a partners phone for no reason makes a person insecure. Agree. But lets just say you have suspicion of cheating? ... then what?

and in another scenario, what if after looking, said partner was cheating? then where does it stand?

Its wrong wrong wrong. Shoe on the other foot. Would you like to find out your partner was through your phone?

If you have a suspicion of cheating?? grow a pair and ask them!

silverspoon

If you suspect your partner of cheating on you, checking their phone without their knowledge is the completely wrong thing to do.




What you should do is hire a private detective. This will cover you for the hours when you are sleeping/working/plotting. But you must take matters into your own hands also. Bug their place of work, tag them in order to track them via GPS - the usual set-up. If you drive, disguise your car to look like an unassuming pile of leaves. Follow your partner in your newly disguised car. Make sure you have a good quality camera. And don't forget to wear your camouflage gear and binoculars.

It wasn't me!

Console wrote: »

the sad reality of life is that 99.9% of the time a cheating party will never admit to cheating when confronted. Its a sad world we live in

Tough shít. You're right. It is a sad world. Doesn't give you licence to stoop to that level though. Life is hard. Rise above it.

Console

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Tough shít. You're right. It is a sad world. Doesn't give you licence to stoop to that level though. Life is hard. Rise above it.

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

Capt'n Midnight

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I was deeply suspicious of an ex of mine so when she was in the bathroom I went through her bag and checked her phone. My deepest fears were confirmed and I had to dump her.

It WAS an i-phone.

yip iphone owners are more likely to be in debt than android or blackberry - 20% was the figure iIRC - poseurs willing to get in debt to look trendy - lucky escape my friend

Capt'n Midnight

dj jarvis wrote: »

one surefire way for him 2 find out if your a mentalist , does he own rabbits ?

and how long do you boil the for ?

Always thought that Glen Close looked skanky in that filum the wife was hotter, *shudders at the memory of ribs uggh*

It wasn't me!

Console wrote: »

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

Please don't cast aspersions on my character. I'm perfectly well aware of what I'd do. You haven't declared your views (explicitly - it's painfully clear what your actual perspective is) so it's not like I can disrespect what you haven't said. If I'm not satisfied that everyone in a relationship is playing ball, then I won't be in it. I don't need to check anyone's phone either. I have too much respect for myself. Sorry if you don't.

hondasam

Console wrote: »

then you are a fool.
i was being respectful in your views. clearly you werent in mine. i would put everything i have that if you suspected your partner of cheating, and his/her phone was there... you'd check. or you'd snoop in other ways. just another bs statement people make. what they say they would do in a situation and what they would really do.

I would imagine anyone that is cheating does not leave evidence lying around for their OH to find. Where do you stop snooping ? do you check their E mail, computer, follow them if they go out. It is not healthy to be so suspicious.

laughter189

hondasam wrote: »

Yes it is wrong. everyone is entitled to privacy and secrets.

keep your phone locked at all times.

How do you lock your phone ?

Is it password protected ?

Console

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Please don't cast aspersions on my character. I'm perfectly well aware of what I'd do. You haven't declared your views (explicitly - it's painfully clear what your actual perspective is) so it's not like I can disrespect what you haven't said. If I'm not satisfied that everyone in a relationship is playing ball, then I won't be in it. I don't need to check anyone's phone either. I have too much respect for myself. Sorry if you don't.

Ok, lets forget checking a persons phone.

how should some one act. they have suspicions, and as you agree, world is harsh so its unlikely that anyone will let you know... what should someone do?

Naikon

Chances are, if it's important enough to be deemed private, you should not be broadcasting the message over SMS.

kowloon

Anyone who knows me knows that if their phone is left within reach I'll have it unlocked within seconds of them leaving the room and I will send sexy messages to that person they fancy, their boss or family.

It wasn't me!

Console wrote: »

Ok, lets forget checking a persons phone.

how should some one act. they have suspicions, and as you agree, world is harsh so its unlikely that anyone will let you know... what should someone do?

Confront the person, air their suspicions, and if they're not comfortable that they're being addressed truthfully, they shouldn't be in the relationship. If I suspect someone of lying to me and I can't be satisfied by them that they're telling the truth, I'm out of there.

littlemis

Yes i think it is wrong.Why would you want to.You either have a relationship based on love and trust or you don't....If you don't trust and love em, then f...k em and leave them.:)

It wasn't me!

littlemis wrote: »

f...k em and leave them.:)

In that order.

hondasam

laughter189 wrote: »

How do you lock your phone ?

Is it password protected ?

yes I can use a password If I want.

Console

It wasn't me! wrote: »

Confront the person, air their suspicions, and if they're not comfortable that they're being addressed truthfully, they shouldn't be in the relationship. If I suspect someone of lying to me and I can't be satisfied by them that they're telling the truth, I'm out of there.

Cant argue with that.

humberklog

If you're normal in the head and you have suspicions then your suspicions are probably right.

Don't bother reading through the phone, just throw it at them.

If you're suspicion are right then your better off without them.

If your suspicions are wrong then they're better off without you.

littlemis

If in doubt,get out.You can always use the line..It's not you it's me,you wont be lying as you will be the one with the problem.....Problem being. Doubt,lack of trust.....Hun, TRUST is foremost in any relationship, and the day you doubt that, should be the day you say goodbye..

Console

humberklog wrote: »

If you're normal in the head and you have suspicions then your suspicions are probably right.

Don't bother reading through the phone, just throw it at them.

If you're suspicion are right then your better off without them.

If your suspicions are wrong then they're better off without you.

I have to say, thats a good mentality to have.
+1

lmaopml

dj jarvis wrote: »

tbh it could also be a trap for you - women are not the only crafty ones.
one surefire way for him 2 find out if your a mentalist , does he own rabbits ?

hmmm! (''.) Owning bunnies is always a dead giveaway...

I regularly pick up my hubby's phone to see what new pics he took while out and about - no biggy, my phone is mostly in need of charging and he looks after that and would also pick it up and look through it in a non paranoid way..

If you're paranoid about your other half, than I would say going through their phone is really low - better to just ask them and see what transpires..

It depends on the relationship and if your stealing it out of his/her back pocket when they have to visit the loo or if they are displaying 'txt' syndrome at 4am when they should be in bed beside you - Well then, it's probably obvious without the confirmation via their mobile phone that they are pre-occupied - no further proof necessary.

..but having a peep at your other halfs phone doesn't always mean you're crazy suspicious, or even 'weird' - 'phones' and 'post' become the realm of the free for all within the household, for those of us who couldn't give a flying shyte and are committed.

You can probably tell my mobile is pretty boring really - X doesn't mark that spot hehe..

gargleblaster

Offtopic but some guy on the radio said that if you're in a relationship then you should have no trouble letting your partner have your facebook password and look through everything, and if someone didn't give their partner the password then that meant they were probably cheating. Oh, the hateful angry calls that came in after that.

It was hilarious.