Awkward Erections

cosmicfart · 21-03-2011 07:56PM #1

Ever have one? Is there some sort of female version? i tell ya having a penis isnt easy. My story today begins with a female work collegue who is in the premier league of babes, the type of women that just gives a penis a mind of its own! We were talking and not for the first time el jonny began his 'ascent' and I was powerless to stop him. luckily i had the defence of a desk to hide my shame but that didnt stop other bodily tell tale signs I thought were giving the game away, like mad hand gestures pointing to other things in the room, anything to take her possible gaze away from my grochal area! I been told this is the best way of counteracting this phenomena...?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kikMgnw1wrM

Sonics2k · 21-03-2011 07:59PM

Bet you have other premature awkward situations to.

Kimono-Girl · 21-03-2011 08:00PM

oh yeah all the time! :P

Kiera · 21-03-2011 08:01PM

Girls get "wide ons" (™ Wibbs) and slide off our chairs

brummytom · 21-03-2011 08:01PM

The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.

Sonics2k · 21-03-2011 08:02PM

Kiera wrote: »

Girls get "wide ons" (™ Wibbs) and slide off our chairs

This one really me laugh a bit to much.

AckwelFoley · 21-03-2011 08:03PM

Its only awkward if you make it awkward.

eco2live · 21-03-2011 08:03PM

Yes there is a female version. Its when a fanjo bangs together like a cricket and can be heard for miles. Very embarrassing for the ladies.

Vain · 21-03-2011 08:06PM

Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts..

RichieC · 21-03-2011 08:06PM

Tuck it behind your belt until it subsides.

Kiera · 21-03-2011 08:06PM

Sonics2k wrote: »

This one really me laugh a bit to much.

Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!

eco2live · 21-03-2011 08:06PM

snyper wrote: »

Its only awkward if you make it awkward.

Yes you should celebrate it. Maybe tie a string to the top with some bunting and invite other members of the office to dance round it.

Buceph · 21-03-2011 08:09PM

brummytom wrote: »

The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.

Wear normal pants, not tracksuits.

eco2live · 21-03-2011 08:09PM

You can tell when a girl gets a wide on. If you are talking to her and you hear a slight echo. Then you know she likes you.

Well that and she might be twiddling her hair while talking to you.

brummytom · 21-03-2011 08:11PM

Buceph wrote: »

Wear normal pants, not tracksuits.

I don't wear tracksuits, ever.

Quite lightweight jeans move in the same way

Mint Sauce · 21-03-2011 08:11PM

brummytom wrote: »

The worst is getting one on a bus just before your stop. Not fun.

Ah yes. The oul awkard walk of shame offthe bus, bag/jacket placed in front you, trying to look innocent.

eco2live · 21-03-2011 08:12PM

I don't know how old you are but if you are over 50 then I have some advice for you.

1. Never waste a hard on.

2. Never trust a fart.

Sonics2k · 21-03-2011 08:14PM

Kiera wrote: »

Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!

haha, not helping the laughter!

I swear next time I'm out that'll all I'm going to think of in every bar. Could make for an interesting evening.

Big Nasty · 21-03-2011 08:16PM

Had it happen when getting a massage once..........

Poor Uncle Tom · 21-03-2011 08:16PM

Kiera wrote: »

Not funny when you turn into a human suction cup!

A gentle rocking motion works best, or you tend to leave a trail like a snail......:p

OutlawPete · 21-03-2011 08:17PM

Why are people always going on about the Spire, let it go already people!

strokemyclover · 21-03-2011 08:18PM

That's the good thing about recessionary times: there's no longer any building work with scaffolding on the streets for pedestrians to tip toe through anymore....so the answer to your question OP is no, I don't encounter awkward erections much these days.

FTGFOP · 21-03-2011 08:32PM

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Had it happen when getting a massage once..........

Masseuse or Masseur?

"It moved, Jerry!"

phill106 · 21-03-2011 08:33PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui9C5KOmnAc

MonTheBiffy · 21-03-2011 08:37PM

Its cruel when you get one while saying mass on a Sunday morning, ya get awful looks

RichieC · 21-03-2011 08:40PM

post tits, I have one now!

Big Nasty · 21-03-2011 08:40PM

FTGFOP wrote: »

Masseuse or Masseur?

"It moved, Jerry!"

Masseuse, but the ligitimate kind!

MonTheBiffy · 21-03-2011 08:41PM

Here ya go http://www.blather.net/zeitgeist/nude_brian_cowen_toilet.jpg

MarkR · 21-03-2011 08:50PM

cosmicfart wrote: »

Ever have one? Is there some sort of female version? i tell ya having a penis isnt easy. My story today begins with a female work collegue who is in the premier league of babes, the type of women that just gives a penis a mind of its own! We were talking and not for the first time el jonny began his 'ascent' and I was powerless to stop him. luckily i had the defence of a desk to hide my shame but that didnt stop other bodily tell tale signs I thought were giving the game away, like mad hand gestures pointing to other things in the room, anything to take her possible gaze away from my grochal area! I been told this is the best way of counteracting this phenomena...?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kikMgnw1wrM

No no no. The problem is you're trying to hide it. The key is the pelvic thrust. Remember, with awesome power, comes awesome responsibility.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8kDsM0M-vg

Griffen262 · 21-03-2011 08:53PM

Mass

Up-n-atom! · 21-03-2011 08:56PM

Yup, get 'em all the time;)

Seriously though, what's with the female versions? Side on?! Suction cup?!:eek: I think I need someone to discreetly take me aside and explain (or, alternatively, someone just draw me diagram:p)

Awkward Erections

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