Irish mammy's

hatrickpatrick · 23-02-2011 06:00PM

My mum taught me about CONCEALING MISTAKES:

"If I find out that YOU made this mess, there'll be war"
Right so, I won't be admitting to that then...

LambsEye · 23-02-2011 07:00PM

I can't believe no one's mentioned this:

Me: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam can I not just stay up til 10 pleeeeease? Beetlejuice is on.

Mam: I'll Beetlejuice you now in a minute if you don't get up to bed.

Me: Mam that doesn't even make any sense.

Or is that just our family?

Ruu_Old · 23-02-2011 07:06PM

But whhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?

Thats "the why"

:mad::mad::mad:

Up-n-atom! · 23-02-2011 07:16PM

Therefore we have black women in white skin saying this sh!t too. I witness plenty of white women saying it, including my own mother!!

My mother said it too - and if she turns out to be black then it's gona a set up a whole store of unresolved issues for me...

take everything · 23-02-2011 07:20PM

pickarooney wrote: »

The store? The store?

GTFO and bring your mommy and your sweater with you.

LMAO

take everything · 23-02-2011 07:23PM

flyton5 wrote: »

Awhhhhh no-one replied to your forwarded email so you posted it here. Isn't that nice?

(Just so you know...I'm being sarcastic )

You're mother sounds terrible.
Tech-savvy... but terrible.

UglyBolloxFace · 23-02-2011 07:26PM

mayoman ngalway wrote: »

hello all, got this as a mail today and can remember my own mother saying at least every one of them to me at some stage growing up

What Irish mother says 'store'? It's a shop...a shop!

squeakyduck · 23-02-2011 09:07PM

mayoman ngalway wrote: »

22. My mother taught me GENETICS

'You're just like your father.'

I get this EVERY time I go home. Just because I have his temperament and his frown.....oh god :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

HoneyRyder · 23-02-2011 09:38PM

That when I was 'smotherin' a 'cup of tae will crown ya!'

Hi everyone (:

Truley · 23-02-2011 09:47PM

LambsEye wrote: »

I can't believe no one's mentioned this:

Me: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam can I not just stay up til 10 pleeeeease? Beetlejuice is on.

Mam: I'll Beetlejuice you now in a minute if you don't get up to bed.

Me: Mam that doesn't even make any sense.

Or is that just our family?

Nope that was a favourite of my parents too! "I'll plate you," "I'll teaspoon you," "I'll lego you" etc etc

LambsEye · 23-02-2011 09:48PM

HoneyRyder wrote: »

That when I was 'smotherin' a 'cup of tae will crown ya!'

Hi everyone (:

WELCOME!

Also, my mammy thinks sudocream will cure everything.

"Throw a drop of sudocream on it and it'll be grand in the morning."

OR, my mam LOVED to say to us when we were young, and we'd run inside bawling because we fell or something:

"Is there blood?"............"No..." "Then get back outside."

easyeason3 · 23-02-2011 09:59PM

Me at a neighbours house 'Your house smells lovely'
Neighbour 'Oh thanks, I have dinner in the oven, that must be it'.
Me 'We never have a smell like that at home, it's always bacon & cabbage, smelly'.
Neighbour laughs, mother throws daggers & says out of the side of her mouth 'When I get you home I'll reddin your arse'.

*runs to corner & cries*

stovelid · 23-02-2011 10:07PM

/cry

"I'll give you something to cry for in a minute"

Ruu_Old · 23-02-2011 10:09PM

LambsEye wrote: »

WELCOME!

Also, my mammy thinks sudocream will cure everything.

"Throw a drop of sudocream on it and it'll be grand in the morning."

OR, my mam LOVED to say to us when we were young, and we'd run inside bawling because we fell or something:

"Is there blood?"............"No..." "Then get back outside."

7-up (fizz removed) was the elixir of life.

punchdrunk · 23-02-2011 10:12PM

ya dirtylookinupallnighter

If cop-on was feathers,you wouldn't have enough for a waistcoat for a Budgie
(why the fúck would a budgie need a waistcoat???)

if you get knocked down,I'll murder you

your *insert dead relatives name* is up in Holy God's house

get up them stairs

sarah88 · 23-02-2011 11:27PM

Where's that wooden spoon! WHERE IS IT! *legs it up the stairs

mconigol · 23-02-2011 11:31PM

Somebody has been using stumbleupon I see....

LambsEye · 24-02-2011 04:29AM

sarah88 wrote: »

Where's that wooden spoon! WHERE IS IT! *legs it up the stairs

My ma used to rattle the drawers, and we were pretty poor back then, so we didn't have a wooden spoon, a silver spatula would do. We still lived in fear of mam getting the "wooden spoon."

Aoifey! · 24-02-2011 05:30AM

jackiebaron wrote: »

'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

Only black women in movies say this sh!t.

My Mammy said it

mayoman ngalway · 24-02-2011 05:49AM

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

What Irish mother says 'store'? It's a shop...a shop!

my mother is an Irish mother but grow up in the states, got married and moved to Ireland in the early 70's.

mayoman ngalway · 24-02-2011 05:56AM

The-Rigger wrote: »

You are setting yourself up for the biggest yore ma taught me ____ of all time.

mayoman ngalway wrote: »

well i'll check back tomorrow night and see how many i get

well after reading through all reply's not even 1

Ticktactoe · 24-02-2011 10:04AM

Learning to run and dodge the open hand slap... when I was small that hand was massive!

Luxie · 24-02-2011 10:11AM

LambsEye wrote: »

WELCOME!

Also, my mammy thinks sudocream will cure everything.

"Throw a drop of sudocream on it and it'll be grand in the morning."

OR, my mam LOVED to say to us when we were young, and we'd run inside bawling because we fell or something:

"Is there blood?"............"No..." "Then get back outside."[/QUOTE]

YES. Me with grazed knee (sore). 'That's nothing'.

Buceph · 24-02-2011 10:12AM

I learned that if I get a splinter in my hand I should keep my mouth shut, or she'll come at me with the biggest needle known to man to pluck it out.

limklad · 01-03-2011 03:26PM

sarah88 wrote: »

Where's that wooden spoon! WHERE IS IT! *legs it up the stairs

My Grandmother used to be confused why there was no wooden spoons in my house when she used to make dinner for us.
It was they were all hidden in that special hiding place that kids knew.

We tried the fire but was caught putting them into the fire so we used to put the new wooden spoons in a high Top slot at the back of the fixed press (screwed to the wall).

The Day my Mother had fitters in to the change the outdated and tired kitchen presses (15 years later) and my grandmother was there (Most of us had moved out except the youngest), over 20 wooden spoons fell out once they unscrewed the press from the wall and pulled it away.

Grandmother smiles as says to my youngest brother "Now I know where the wooden spoons went to over the years when I need them to smash the spuds" and with sadness she adds "and why!! and You better watch out". This was my kind grandmother attempt to embarrassed my mother bad behaviour in which she suspected over a period of time but could never prove during that time.

Moral of the story goes "what you ditch out out to the world or at home, it will surely come back and bite you in the ass like a boomerang."

Irish mammy's

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