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Bridezillas

24

Comments

  • #32
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Cellygirl wrote: »
    I've never heard of a 'Me' party before. But it turns out that's what I'm having!

    I don't drink so didn't want a traditional hen and didn't want to go away as it's just huge expense and I couldn't afford it myself let alone expect others to.

    So I'm having a bridal shower/hen night at home instead. In my own house. My sisters are organising it for me. Basically lots of food, lots of drink, music, silly games (dressing me up in a toilet paper wedding dress anyone?!) bit of dancing, maybe some games on the Wii and a bit of craic. My sisters are paying for everything, I'm going to have to find a way to slip something into their handbags, cos they're refusing point blank to talk to me about money. All the food and wine and champagne is costing them a fortune. But that's another matter!

    I'm not asking anyone to bring a gift though, it's a no gift party. Instead my sisters have asked everyone to write out their favourite recipe and bring that with them. All the recipes will then be put together in a 'book' for me and I'll start married life with a brill recipe book!

    I can't wait for it! I think it'll be a great night and all it'll cost guests will be their taxi home.

    That recipe idea sounds great :) wish I'd thought of that. My hen party is this Saturday, it's 80's dress code (most people wouldn't need to buy anything, just accessorise something in their wardrobe) and a Mexican theme (COCKTAILS :D ) so I've asked everyone to bring a different liquor so I don't have to buy everything. I'm supplying the vodka and rum bases and all the juices and fruit so it's just the cheaper stuff. I'm also supplying all the food. Most have been brilliant though, some are bringing three or trying to bring 4 bottles of liquor :D and most are insisting on bringing some kind of food even though I've told them it's all covered.


  • #33
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    :confused:

    I don't really understand all of the above......

    Why would anyone organise a party that they don't care whether people can afford to attend or not? And then they don't care if guests don't attend because of the cost?

    I don't get it? Why organise the party at all?
    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    What I mean is, the people we're talking about, at least SOME or many of their friends must have money or else nobody would be going and there would be no party!

    Why organise the party at all? :confused: I don't understand! You mean just have NO party?

    What I mean is why organise a party that you don't care whether your guests can afford to attend or not. And that you don't care if they actually attend the party or not. Again I ask, why organise the party? What is the point if some people won't be able to attend?


  • #34
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    What I mean is why organise a party that you don't care whether your guests can afford to attend or not. And that you don't care if they actually attend the party or not. Again I ask, why organise the party? What is the point if some people won't be able to attend?

    That may be why some of the brides mentioned as being bridezillas are also having cheaper hens... maybe simply to please those who can't afford the big hen that they may have always wanted? There will always be some people who won't be able to attend, if there's something you've always wanted to do for your hen party, ya may as well do it and, if you can be bothered, have a cheaper smaller one for everyone!


  • #35
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    That recipe idea sounds great :) wish I'd thought of that. My hen party is this Saturday, it's 80's dress code (most people wouldn't need to buy anything, just accessorise something in their wardrobe) and a Mexican theme (COCKTAILS :D ) so I've asked everyone to bring a different liquor so I don't have to buy everything. I'm supplying the vodka and rum bases and all the juices and fruit so it's just the cheaper stuff. I'm also supplying all the food. Most have been brilliant though, some are bringing three or trying to bring 4 bottles of liquor :D and most are insisting on bringing some kind of food even though I've told them it's all covered.

    I guess that is the difference between some people.

    I would never host a party and then expect guests to supply the alcohol. When I host a party I provide everything for my guests - I see that as my role as host. I don't put further costs on to my guests for a party I am giving.

    I am the host - I take the hit on food, drink, venue, etc.


  • #36
    kandr10
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    In fairness though, if you go drinking in someone else's place most people will bring their own booze. Don't think there's any harm in getting people to bring a bottle. Much more preferable to the usual costs incurred during a hens...


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  • #37
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    kandr10 wrote: »
    In fairness though, if you go drinking in someone else's place most people will bring their own booze. Don't think there's any harm in getting people to bring a bottle. Much more preferable to the usual costs incurred during a hens...

    Yup, I have to say I've never once been to a party (except as a child) where I haven't brought something. Whether it's a couple of bottles of wine, the spirit and mixer I want to drink or a fancy lemonade/sparkling tea if I'm not drinking. People usually do bring a drink of some sort to parties.


  • #38
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    That recipe idea sounds great :) wish I'd thought of that. My hen party is this Saturday, it's 80's dress code (most people wouldn't need to buy anything, just accessorise something in their wardrobe) and a Mexican theme (COCKTAILS :D ) so I've asked everyone to bring a different liquor so I don't have to buy everything. I'm supplying the vodka and rum bases and all the juices and fruit so it's just the cheaper stuff. I'm also supplying all the food. Most have been brilliant though, some are bringing three or trying to bring 4 bottles of liquor :D and most are insisting on bringing some kind of food even though I've told them it's all covered.
    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I guess that is the difference between some people.

    I would never host a party and then expect guests to supply the alcohol. When I host a party I provide everything for my guests - I see that as my role as host. I don't put further costs on to my guests for a party I am giving.

    I am the host - I take the hit on food, drink, venue, etc.
    iguana wrote: »
    Yup, I have to say I've never once been to a party (except as a child) where I haven't brought something. Whether it's a couple of bottles of wine, the spirit and mixer I want to drink or a fancy lemonade/sparkling tea if I'm not drinking. People usually do bring a drink of some sort to parties.

    I think there is a big difference between
    a) A guest arriving to a party with a bottle of wine
    and
    b) a guest being invited to a party but being told by the host to bring a bottle of alcohol

    Personally as a host I would never expect someone to bring anything with them to a party I host. I think it is down right rude of a host to tell you to bring something.

    As a guest I would always bring along a bottle of wine or a gift of chocs, flowers, scented candle or the like......


  • #39
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I think there is a big difference between
    a) A guest arriving to a party with a bottle of wine
    and
    b) a guest being invited to a party but being told by the host to bring a bottle of alcohol

    Personally as a host I would never expect someone to bring anything with them to a party I host. I think it is down right rude of a host to tell you to bring something.

    As a guest I would always bring along a bottle of wine or a gift of chocs, flowers, scented candle or the like......

    Well I guess I'm rude then, although everyone told me it was a great idea and most people have offered to bring even more than one bottle but I told them no and I've said whatever's left, they can bring home. A bottle of wine is no good for a cocktail party!

    Luckily, I consider my guests as friends and I know them well enough to know that they would have no problem with my SUGGESTION (I didn't TELL anyone to do anything). I've even said that anyone who may be broke, not to bother as there should be enough to go around anyway.

    Anyway, enough semantics, I'm looking forward to it and my friends seem especially excited about this one :D .


  • #40
    SSFG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭SSFG


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I guess that is the difference between some people.

    I would never host a party and then expect guests to supply the alcohol. When I host a party I provide everything for my guests - I see that as my role as host. I don't put further costs on to my guests for a party I am giving.

    I am the host - I take the hit on food, drink, venue, etc.

    I would never ever arrive at a party and not bring some drink its just rude.
    I would never expect the host to provide everything I would offer help.
    And we regularly have card games in our house where everyone brings their own drink, I don't understand what the problem with that is.
    Re the hen nights, I would really rather not have a mad hen party, but there is a certain amount of pressure on the bride to have one...


  • #41
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    SSFG wrote: »
    I would never ever arrive at a party and not bring some drink its just rude.
    I would never expect the host to provide everything I would offer help.
    And we regularly have card games in our house where everyone brings their own drink, I don't understand what the problem with that is.
    Re the hen nights, I would really rather not have a mad hen party, but there is a certain amount of pressure on the bride to have one...

    I never said as a guest that I would not bring drink (read an above post). What I said was that as a host I would never ask/tell/expect a guest to bring drink.

    I am hosting the party so I provide the food, drink, etc.


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  • #42
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    SSFG wrote: »
    Re the hen nights, I would really rather not have a mad hen party, but there is a certain amount of pressure on the bride to have one...

    And if the hen has one she should foot the cost - not tell her guests to bring drink.


  • #43
    SSFG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭SSFG


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    And if the hen has one she should foot the cost - not tell her guests to bring drink.

    The hen should foot the bill??? :D:D:D:D:D:D What planet are you on??? If someone is having a hen in their own house it is not alot to ask of someone to bring a drink, for god sake :confused:


  • #44
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    If I never have to go to another hen party in my whole life I will be a happy woman.


  • #45
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    SSFG wrote: »
    The hen should foot the bill??? :D:D:D:D:D:D What planet are you on??? If someone is having a hen in their own house it is not alot to ask of someone to bring a drink, for god sake :confused:

    I held my hen party in my house. I provided food & drink for all my guests. A few guests brought some champagne which was gratefully accepted. Some had asked me what to bring and I told them not to bring anything. Again, I reiterate, I was hosting the party so I paid for everything. It was not up to my guests to foot the bill for my party. What is so hard to understand - it is just basic etiquette?????

    BTW, I was at a bridezilla hen party. I had to give the hen 20 euro to "cover the party costs". I was given raw rice and badly cooked curry for this. The cocktails provided were made with whiskey(?) and tasted dire. And the bottle of vodka that I brought was whisked away by a bridesmaid never to be seen again.


  • #46
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I had to give the hen 20 euro to "cover the party costs". I was given raw rice and badly cooked curry for this. The cocktails provided were made with whiskey(?) and tasted dire. And the bottle of vodka that I brought was whisked away by a bridesmaid never to be seen again.

    Ah jaysis.


  • #47
    SSFG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭SSFG


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I held my hen party in my house. I provided food & drink for all my guests. A few guests brought some champagne which was gratefully accepted. Some had asked me what to bring and I told them not to bring anything. Again, I reiterate, I was hosting the party so I paid for everything. It was not up to my guests to foot the bill for my party. What is so hard to understand - it is just basic etiquette?????

    BTW, I was at a bridezilla hen party. I had to give the hen 20 euro to "cover the party costs". I was given raw rice and badly cooked curry for this. The cocktails provided were made with whiskey(?) and tasted dire. And the bottle of vodka that I brought was whisked away by a bridesmaid never to be seen again.

    I would LOVE to have my hen at home but they'd all be like ''why aren't we going away??''. And even if I did have it at home, my friends would all bring something even if I told them not to, and I would do the same! THAT is just etiquette to me.
    And I was also at a bridezilla hen...hence the reason I am not fond of them! Went all the way to Scotland for 2 nights, had to pay for the stupid feather boas that got stuck to everything, and now she is returning the favor by not going to mine cos she 'might' be going on holiday (then again maybe I'd prefer her not to be there!!)


  • #48
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I held my hen party in my house. I provided food & drink for all my guests. A few guests brought some champagne which was gratefully accepted. Some had asked me what to bring and I told them not to bring anything. Again, I reiterate, I was hosting the party so I paid for everything. It was not up to my guests to foot the bill for my party. What is so hard to understand - it is just basic etiquette?????

    BTW, I was at a bridezilla hen party. I had to give the hen 20 euro to "cover the party costs". I was given raw rice and badly cooked curry for this. The cocktails provided were made with whiskey(?) and tasted dire. And the bottle of vodka that I brought was whisked away by a bridesmaid never to be seen again.

    Maybe it's a difference between Ireland and England. Over here, the host never provides the alcohol, unless you're rich or something! I've hosted plenty of parties and never ever provided the alcohol. Sure, I've had back up beer and spirits but they're not usually touched. Any party I've been to, I bring enough for me and the host, since they're providing the venue.

    Also, if we were to go away for a weekend or a night, quite often everyone chips in so the hen or the stag don't have to spend a penny. I thought that was the done thing now?

    Oh and again, I didn't tell anyone to do anything. I requested but also made it clear that it wasn't expected. If I were to foot the alcohol bill, well the food and decorations alone are £200... 200 that I really really can't afford with a wedding 6 weeks away :confused:


  • #49
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    Maybe it's a difference between Ireland and England.

    I'm not English :confused:


  • #50
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Heineken Helen wrote: »

    Also, if we were to go away for a weekend or a night, quite often everyone chips in so the hen or the stag don't have to spend a penny. I thought that was the done thing now?

    No. Absolutely not. Why would you think that.


  • #51
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    SSFG wrote: »
    I would LOVE to have my hen at home but they'd all be like ''why aren't we going away??''. And even if I did have it at home, my friends would all bring something even if I told them not to, and I would do the same! THAT is just etiquette to me.
    QUOTE]

    I agree with the above.

    But surely you agree that the host should never ask her guests to bring alcohol.


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  • #52
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    Oh and again, I didn't tell anyone to do anything. I requested but also made it clear that it wasn't expected. If I were to foot the alcohol bill, well the food and decorations alone are £200... 200 that I really really can't afford with a wedding 6 weeks away :confused:

    If you can't afford it don't have it.

    You just hoisted the cost on to your guests. Bad form imo :(


  • #53
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    Oh and again, I didn't tell anyone to do anything. I requested but also made it clear that it wasn't expected. If I were to foot the alcohol bill, well the food and decorations alone are £200... 200 that I really really can't afford with a wedding 6 weeks away :confused:

    Why do people think that when it comes to them getting married/their henparty that that they have the right to request things??

    If you were throwing a birthday party would you "request" things??


  • #54
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    I'm not English :confused:

    Neither am I but I live in England. I also held plenty of parties in Dublin before I moved over and never provided alcohol either :rolleyes: never came across anyone who had a problem with that either or wasn't prepared with their own alcohol. The difference is, since this is a cocktail party, I've simply given them ideas as to what to bring... I really can't see a problem with this but you seem to have issues with it so I'll leave you to it.

    AM cos any hen party I've been on has done this and most websites where you book a hen party say the hen goes free (obviously subsidised by the cost of the others). It's not something I just plucked out of thin air :o . It's not expected but I thought it was done. Forgive me if I'm wrong though.


  • #55
    Heineken Helen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 636 ✭✭✭Heineken Helen


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    If you can't afford it don't have it.

    You just hoisted the cost on to your guests. Bad form imo :(

    SERIOUSLY???????????????

    Well if that's what you think! FINE!

    I've never done anything in bad form in my life and it's amazing that there's actually people coming at all if that's the case.

    If you can't afford it don't have it???? Well I can afford a party, it would just be a pretty sober one. Perhaps I should contact everyone coming and let them know there's been a change of plan?

    Anyway, you don't even know me or my friends so to say I'm in bad form is pretty ignorant IMO :(


  • #56
    SSFG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭SSFG


    Diddler1977 wrote: »

    I agree with the above.

    But surely you agree that the host should never ask her guests to bring alcohol.

    I'm not sure really, I don't know that I would be offended if someone asked me to bring something, but then things are so different these days in that things are more difficult financially. So if I couldn't afford to go to a hen I wouldn't, and I am doing my best to make sure that my hen is as cheap as possible for people.


  • #57
    SSFG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭SSFG


    Diddler1977 wrote: »
    If you can't afford it don't have it.

    You just hoisted the cost on to your guests. Bad form imo :(

    @Heineken Helen, maybe we should just cancel the weddings altogether if we are putting cost onto guests for travelling , hotels, outfits, drinks etc...:D


  • #58
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    SSFG wrote: »
    I am doing my best to make sure that my hen is as cheap as possible for people.

    Yes it is best to think of your guests first..... that's what I do anyway;)


  • #59
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    SSFG wrote: »
    Re the hen nights, I would really rather not have a mad hen party, but there is a certain amount of pressure on the bride to have one...

    That's a load of rubbish. Pressure? If someone wants a quiet hen night then they should have a quiet one. If someone wants no hen night, then they don't have to have a hen night. If people feel pressured into doing something that they do not want to do by their friends, then they need to look at what kind of friends they have.


  • #60
    Diddler1977
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,765 ✭✭✭Diddler1977


    Heineken Helen wrote: »
    AM cos any hen party I've been on has done this and most websites where you book a hen party say the hen goes free (obviously subsidised by the cost of the others). It's not something I just plucked out of thin air :o . It's not expected but I thought it was done. Forgive me if I'm wrong though.

    This is pure marketing.

    Websites and companies promote this idea because they know that bridezillas will choose to whatever they want to do....because they know that all of their guests will end up paying for it anyway...


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  • #61
    amdublin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    Well I don't know if you've read the full thread Panda but one bride felt so under pressure she is having four parties!!! Including one "me" party and one "sten" party!!!

    :eek:


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