Signs a man is afraid of a new relationship/afraid of commitment

stateofflux · 18-02-2011 05:27PM

god i hate that word 'committment' ....like something from catholic ireland in 1940...also instantly kills dick hardness when mentioned

stovelid · 18-02-2011 05:54PM

stateofflux wrote: »

god i hate that word 'committment' ...also instantly kills dick hardness when mentioned

True

newmug · 18-02-2011 05:59PM

Millicent wrote: »

Listen, there's no such thing as afraid of a relationship/afraid of commitment in the early stages. It's bollox psychobabble that's pedalled out to make women feel better. If he likes you, he will want to ride you/see you/ speak to you on a regular basis. If not, he doesn't really like you all that much.

I wish people would stop buying into this shit. If he's not texting or calling, treating you badly or seems like he doesn't want a relationship, he does not want you. End of. It may sound cruel but if he liked you, you'd be in no doubt. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't seem to want to be with you anyway?

THIS SHOULD BE STICKIED!!!!!

Michael 09 · 18-02-2011 06:01PM

mconigol · 18-02-2011 06:03PM

When he has a penis.

St.Spodo · 18-02-2011 06:10PM

Millicent wrote: »

Listen, there's no such thing as afraid of a relationship/afraid of commitment in the early stages. It's bollox psychobabble that's pedalled out to make women feel better. If he likes you, he will want to ride you/see you/ speak to you on a regular basis. If not, he doesn't really like you all that much.

I wish people would stop buying into this shit. If he's not texting or calling, treating you badly or seems like he doesn't want a relationship, he does not want you. End of. It may sound cruel but if he liked you, you'd be in no doubt. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't seem to want to be with you anyway?

Agreed.What sort of pussy is afraid of a relationship? All of these sort of terms are just euphemisms. They have no literal meaning. I'm sure if he really did have an interest in you, you'd know for certain.

TheZohanS · 18-02-2011 06:16PM

Millicent wrote: »

Listen, there's no such thing as afraid of a relationship/afraid of commitment in the early stages. It's bollox psychobabble that's pedalled out to make women feel better. If he likes you, he will want to ride you/see you/ speak to you on a regular basis. If not, he doesn't really like you all that much.

I wish people would stop buying into this shit. If he's not texting or calling, treating you badly or seems like he doesn't want a relationship, he does not want you. End of. It may sound cruel but if he liked you, you'd be in no doubt. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't seem to want to be with you anyway?

Aye or he might just have too much crap on his plate and he doesn't have time or is not in the right place to make a decent go of it. A lot of it is about timing too.

Alter-Ego · 18-02-2011 06:19PM

You need to trap this man, OP. We men dont really understand the world around us and need the wimmins to tell us how to live our lives.

Remember the 3 N's?

Nag, Nag, Nag.

saywhatyousee · 18-02-2011 06:28PM

Alter-Ego wrote: »

You need to trap this man, OP. We men dont really understand the world around us and need the wimmins to tell us how to live our lives.

Remember the 3 N's?

Nag, Nag, Nag.

proper way to trap a man is to purposely break a condom:o

Trog · 18-02-2011 06:50PM

J K wrote: »

A wise man once said - i think it was descartes - "He's just not that in to you"

Cogito Ergo, let's just be friends... with benefits?

OP, all men want a girlfriend at some stage. No man, however, wants that girlfriend to be less [slutty/hot/fun/whatever their main priority is] than another girl who he might meet soon. Sometimes he'll reckon it's worth 100% effort to see how it pans out, sometimes he won't. If things work out, you won't have to worry about a 'fear of commitment'. Like it was said earlier, there's no such thing. There's just guys who aren't too pushed with you.

And forget any 'why would he still see me sometimes if he doesn't like me' type reasoning. Fact of the matter is, sex with someone you're not that into is better than a ****.

Now, I'm not saying he's definitely not into you. To find that out, and here's a revolutionary idea, you should ASK HIM, and not post on an internet forum for people you don't know to guess how he feels.

kincsem · 18-02-2011 06:55PM

I saw a film about this once starring James Caan and Kathy Bates.

BickNarry · 18-02-2011 07:19PM

stovelid wrote: »

"I just don't want to be with anybody at the moment, really".

"It's not the right time".

"Things are moving too fast".

Translation:

I don't want to go out with you and within a hour of this conversation, I will be relentlessly chasing skirt again.

Its people like you who get me in trouble!!!!!!

I don't want to go out with anyone (ever? who knows) and if a girl starts acting like my girlfriend i'll tell em it is too fast. But then they side with you and decide i'm 'playing' them.

You can't win!

Millicent · 18-02-2011 07:23PM

TheZohan wrote: »

Aye or he might just have too much crap on his plate and he doesn't have time or is not in the right place to make a decent go of it. A lot of it is about timing too.

Meh, disinterest is disinterest. Sometimes you meet someone at a bad time of their life; sometimes they're not emotionally ready for a relationship; sometimes they have too much on their plate to cope with a relationship. My point is, there is no point trying to change that person or yourself for a relationship that is not up to your standards. It is what it is and [general you] your energy is better spent on someone who is emotionally available.

Eric Cartman · 18-02-2011 07:43PM

BickNarry wrote: »

Its people like you who get me in trouble!!!!!!

I don't want to go out with anyone (ever? who knows) and if a girl starts acting like my girlfriend i'll tell em it is too fast. But then they side with you and decide i'm 'playing' them.

You can't win!

you can never win that one mate, but giving in and going out with some crazy b*tch is definitley not the answer

also heres a translation guide for when listening to women talking about men :

"hes a stalker" = "a guy i dont find physically attractive talked to me once in a pub or other small place and I saw him 2-3 more times , he must be stalking me because Im so attractive :rolleyes:"

"hes an asshole" = "I tried to get him to be my boyfriend, didnt work, had sex with him , then he told me to f*ck off because i was being needy and desperate"

"I wish I could meet a nice guy" = "I wish I could meet a guy with 10/10 looks and a massive bank balance"

"Im not really looking for a boyfriend right now" = "i want a ride without my friends calling me a slut"

"Hes the best boyfriend ever" = "he spends sh*tloads of money on me"

Millicent · 18-02-2011 07:46PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

you can never win that one mate, but giving in and going out with some crazy b*tch is definitley not the answer

also heres a translation guide for when listening to women talking about men :

"hes a stalker" = "a guy i dont find physically attractive talked to me once in a pub or other small place and I saw him 2-3 more times , he must be stalking me because Im so attractive :rolleyes:"

"hes an asshole" = "I tried to get him to be my boyfriend, didnt work, had sex with him , then he told me to f*ck off because i was being needy and desperate"

"I wish I could meet a nice guy" = "I wish I could meet a guy with 10/10 looks and a massive bank balance"

"Im not really looking for a boyfriend right now" = "i want a ride without my friends calling me a slut"

"Hes the best boyfriend ever" = "he spends sh*tloads of money on me"

Good job. Sums us all up.

clouds · 18-02-2011 07:49PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

you can never win that one mate, but giving in and going out with some crazy b*tch is definitley not the answer

also heres a translation guide for when listening to women talking about men :

"hes a stalker" = "a guy i dont find physically attractive talked to me once in a pub or other small place and I saw him 2-3 more times , he must be stalking me because Im so attractive :rolleyes:"

"hes an asshole" = "I tried to get him to be my boyfriend, didnt work, had sex with him , then he told me to f*ck off because i was being needy and desperate"

"I wish I could meet a nice guy" = "I wish I could meet a guy with 10/10 looks and a massive bank balance"

"Im not really looking for a boyfriend right now" = "i want a ride without my friends calling me a slut"

"Hes the best boyfriend ever" = "he spends sh*tloads of money on me"

Good luck with that.:rolleyes:

Micky Dolenz · 19-02-2011 11:27AM

TheZohan wrote: »

Aye or he might just have too much crap on his plate and he doesn't have time or is not in the right place to make a decent go of it. A lot of it is about timing too.

Yeah. How many times have you met the right person at the wrong time and the wrong person at the right time. It's hard to get them both right.

Snakeblood · 19-02-2011 11:30AM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Yeah. How many times have you met the right person at the wrong time and the wrong person at the right time. It's hard to get them both right.

Dr. John?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct4sVVqeoUE

Snakeblood · 19-02-2011 11:33AM

Millicent wrote: »

Listen, there's no such thing as afraid of a relationship/afraid of commitment in the early stages. It's bollox psychobabble that's pedalled out to make women feel better. If he likes you, he will want to ride you/see you/ speak to you on a regular basis. If not, he doesn't really like you all that much.

I wish people would stop buying into this shit. If he's not texting or calling, treating you badly or seems like he doesn't want a relationship, he does not want you. End of. It may sound cruel but if he liked you, you'd be in no doubt. Why would you want to be with someone who didn't seem to want to be with you anyway?

I don't think that's necessarily true. I for instance, (used to) pinball all over the place before ringing someone. It's not making them wait or playing hard to get, it's nerves etc.

Which made me less of an amazing catch but it's not that I wasn't interested, it's that my confidence was all over the place, and I felt like people were out of my league.

G86 · 19-02-2011 01:53PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Yeah. How many times have you met the right person at the wrong time and the wrong person at the right time. It's hard to get them both right.

I used to disagree...now I'm not so sure. I used to(and sometimes still) have the idealistic few that if you really love someone enough then you'll make it work, regardless of anything else that's going on. But, past experiences have shown me that that's not always the case, sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture.

I do agree with Millicents post with regards to the early stages though, if I started seeing someone and they weren't interested in making an effort at that stage, then I'd just assume they weren't interested full stop. It doesn't matter how much you like someone, you can't 'make' them interested, and you shouldn't have to try. Chemistry should hit you hard, it should give you butterflies, make your heart race, and put you on edge just waiting on the phone to ring. Every text should make you smile, and their funny jokes should make you laugh...even when they're not really funny! And - it should be mutual. He should WANT to call you, WANT to talk to you, and WANT to make an effort. In fact, making an effort shouldn't even seem like 'making an effort', because when you like someone it's just natural!