Accidental Molestation

TheZohanS · 18-02-2011 05:44PM

Was on a plane last year and the air stewardess had just passed with the trolley, I got out of my seat and slapped her on the ass by accident as my laces were open. I apologised...only for it to happen again as I was returning to my seat with a different stewardess...was pretty embarrassed. The second time I kept my head down and said nothing.

ordinary_girl · 18-02-2011 05:46PM

The whole hands touching off each when two people are reaching for the bar in the bus has happened to me a few times, it's uncomfortable and embarrassing. Ugh.

A while a go I was out and was texting while walking and walked into a large woman and her, eh, rack. I'm 5 foot nothing, and she was tall and wide so it seemed to be a shock for both of us. Considering the fact I'm a woman and I'm straight it seems that that experience may have been wasted on me!

Mr. Presentable · 18-02-2011 05:47PM

steve06 wrote: »

those cloaks aren't great for hiding an erection!

Pretend you're cleaning your glasses

Michael 09 · 18-02-2011 05:50PM

The ultimate accidental molestation:

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6949572-german-football-player-touches-female-referee-breast/content/64783635-hertha-berlin-and-union-berlin-supporters-watch-their-teams-play-a-bundesliga-second-division-soccer-match-in-berlin

Otacon · 18-02-2011 05:52PM

Just before Christmas, I was at a fancy hairdressers [my usual barber was having surgery and was out for about two weeks], the kind of place where the seats have massagers and such.

Anyway, I was getting my hair washed by this petit girl with a massive rack, but as I am a big yoke and the basin was against the wall, she had to position herself in such a way that her tits were squashed against my neck/collar bone for the entire wash. As well as that, my hand was pinned to the built-on arm rest by her inner leg.

I had to delay moving to the actual barber's chair as I was pitching a tent! If I could afford £50 a hair cut, I'd still be going there!

18-02-2011 05:57PM

I was once out with a friend, she was wearing a low cut top. When we were leaving, I was putting my coat back on when I stretched out my arm and accidentally touched her chest. She jokingly brought me up on it but nothing more was said about it.

Dublin_Gunner · 18-02-2011 06:00PM

positron wrote: »

Tried to push a door open while looking back for something, and at that precise moment the good looking receptionist opened the door and stepped forward - I lingered a few seconds thinking door is a bit soft - I was indeed feeling one of her milkshakes..!

And that's pretty much how it happened. Your honour.

Micky Dolenz · 18-02-2011 06:04PM

I was in an elderly couples house and cut my hand, the lady insisted on get a plaster and some antiseptic stuff to put on it, I held my hand out, she came close to me and because she had massive boobs, one landed in my hand, like I was cupping it.

For at least 4 seconds I froze and thought, do I move my hand or let it there. I moved it.

Dublin_Gunner · 18-02-2011 06:08PM

Otacon wrote: »

Just before Christmas, I was at a fancy strip-club [my usual stripper was having 'surgery' and was out for about two weeks], the kind of place where the seats have massagers and such.

Anyway, I was getting my hair stroked by this petit girl with a massive rack, but as I am a big yoke and the seat was against the wall, she had to position herself in such a way that her tits were squashed against my neck/collar bone for the entire dance. As well as that, my hand was pinned to the built-on arm rest by her inner leg.

I had to delay moving to the actual lap dance's chair as I was pitching a tent! If I could afford £50 a dance, I'd still be going there!

I think I've broken your code

Alter-Ego · 18-02-2011 06:10PM

One night after a few drinks I slapped a girls arse who I though was my Girlfriend, turns out it wasn't. We laughed it off anyway but it was a bit embarrassing, and kinda fun.

There's also been many occasions in the hairdressers/piercers where I've had boobs rubbin' off all sorts.

Kintarō Hattori · 18-02-2011 06:11PM

rebel10 wrote: »

Wow look at your post count!!:eek: Next one is the big one! Make it epic!

Emm, look again.

sdanseo · 18-02-2011 06:16PM

rebel10 wrote: »

Wow look at your post count!!:eek: Next one is the big one! Make it epic!

Dunno about that, tbh...

darragh16 · 18-02-2011 06:17PM

Michael 09 wrote: »

The ultimate accidental molestation:

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/6949572-german-football-player-touches-female-referee-breast/content/64783635-hertha-berlin-and-union-berlin-supporters-watch-their-teams-play-a-bundesliga-second-division-soccer-match-in-berlin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJV1xmiiFU

Coppin a feel...

WindSock · 18-02-2011 06:20PM

fakearms123 wrote: »

I thought molestation only happened when your giving grinds to someone...

But she was.

Doyler92 · 18-02-2011 06:22PM

fakearms123 wrote: »

I thought molestation only happened when your giving grinds to someone...

Yes, grinding her stuff up against him.

rebel10 · 18-02-2011 06:27PM

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Emm, look again.

hmmmmm....now I feel thick!:o I'll blame it on a very, very long week!

UglyBolloxFace · 18-02-2011 06:34PM

darragh16 wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJV1xmiiFU

Coppin a feel...

That is hilarious. And for some reason I find myself very attracted to that female ref.

Anyone speak German and care to translate what Niemayer says about it in that video?

Jaafa · 18-02-2011 06:38PM

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

That is hilarious. And for some reason I find myself very attracted to that female ref.

Anyone speak German and care to translate what Niemayer says about it in that video?

She looks like Pink.

Trog · 18-02-2011 06:38PM

darragh16 wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJV1xmiiFU

Coppin a feel...

That was definitely intentional.

When I was in the Gaeltacht a long long time ago one of the lads in my class tried to hug a teacher, who tried to push him away. He persisted (both were laughing, she was young), and she gave him a nipple cripple... So he pinched her boob back! Not a word of a lie. It was hilarious, but also crossing a major line. He got in quite a lot of bother about it.

the purple tin · 18-02-2011 06:39PM

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

That is hilarious. And for some reason I find myself very attracted to that female ref.

Anyone speak German and care to translate what Niemayer says about it in that video?

He says "of course it was all just a mistake, when I realised what I had done I felt a right tit"
To which the interviewer replied "but surely it was the left one"

zuroph · 18-02-2011 06:40PM

Next time, sit with your palms up.

mfceiling · 18-02-2011 06:42PM

Up-n-atom! wrote: »

Barbers' bag?! She a he?!:pac:

I had to squeeze past a guy in a supermarket a few years ago, and my hand kind of brushed off his ass as I had my arms down by my side. As I was walking away I could hear him say to his girlfriend that I had just grabbed his ass...u wish!

Those narrow supermarket aisles are a bítch alright....

darragh16 · 18-02-2011 06:44PM

Jaafa wrote: »

She looks like Pink.

Yeah, i'd say if you tried that with Pink she'd kick the sh*t outta ye!

Trog · 18-02-2011 06:52PM

darragh16 wrote: »

Yeah, i'd say if you tried that with Pink she'd kick ride the sh*t outta ye!

Fyp.

NothingMan · 18-02-2011 06:55PM

Trog wrote: »

she gave him a nipple cripple... So he pinched her boob back! Not a word of a lie. It was hilarious, but also crossing a major line. He got in quite a lot of bother about it.

The teacher gave him a nipple cripple and he got in bother for retaliating? Surely the teacher wouldn't have said anything for fear of getting into "bother" herself?

Otacon · 18-02-2011 07:05PM

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

I think I've broken your code

Busted.

WolfForager · 18-02-2011 07:26PM

NothingMan wrote: »

The teacher gave him a nipple cripple and he got in bother for retaliating? Surely the teacher wouldn't have said anything for fear of getting into "bother" herself?

If i remember the gaelthacht correctly things had an unusual way of making their way to the attention of the higher ups even if the teacher or supervisor took it as a joke or what not.

RichieC · 18-02-2011 07:48PM

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

That is hilarious. And for some reason I find myself very attracted to that female ref.

I'd wreak her meself.

Blondini · 19-02-2011 02:47PM

Basil Fawlty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35mWHlHx9no

LambsEye · 19-02-2011 02:58PM

I've never "accidentally" touched a dude but I seem to always be getting intentionally molested on public transport.

Some dude grabbed my snatch on the metro in Paris
Some dude slid his hand between the bus seats (he was sitting behind me,) and got a righteous squeeze of my left bap
Some guy on the subway in New York rubbed his crotch against my rump for several minutes
Some guy on the subway in New York exposed himself to me
Some guy on the subway put his hand over mine when I was holding the rail and then proceeded to lightly massage my hand.

Accidental Molestation

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