Humorous / Possibly Cruel Nicknames

Pacing Mule · 06-02-2011 12:31AM #1

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.

I'm sure there's far worse out there. Let's have 'em !

nosey rosie · 06-02-2011 12:34AM

My username is one. Earned it when the neighbours were having a fight and I was listening up against the wall. my brother shook his head and called me Nosey Rosie... I kind of liked it

Sergeant · 06-02-2011 12:35AM

I went to primary school with a lad whose parents broke up, which was more unusual in '80s than now. So his nickname became "Daddy Gone" O'Connor.

Which was pretty cruel looking back on it.

Badgermonkey · 06-02-2011 12:38AM

Friend of mine picked up an antique coal shovel at a party 20 yrs ago, stared at it intensely for 3-4 secs., then put it back down.

He's been known as Lovejoy ever since.

Kersh · 06-02-2011 12:40AM

From over the years . .

A real ugly guy in work got nicknamed "scream" after the mask in the movie scream.

The best was probably a guy with a stammer called "match of the day" cos the match of the day music (if you sing it) starts with d-d-d-d-

Cruel considering he 1st got the nickname to his face when he was asked to say something and was stuttering . . . in the middle of a shop!

cruiser178 · 06-02-2011 12:51AM

Sergeant wrote: »

I went to primary school with a lad whose parents broke up, which was more unusual in '80s than now. So his nickname became "Daddy Gone" O'Connor.

Which was pretty cruel looking back on it.

Sergeant you owe me one mouth full of bacardi,iv'e heard some nicknames in my time but that beats all

sh1tstirrer · 06-02-2011 12:56AM

I know of a woman they call Brutus you just need to look at her and you know how she got her nickname.
Another man called the duck because he waddles when he walks.
A man called the gorilla because he grunts a lot.
A man called skippy because he mounted a lot of women (how many of you will figure that one out)
The Rat
The flying saucer
A man who's surname is Foot is called 12 inches
The Bonham
A woman called the wasp because she could sting you

Aishae · 06-02-2011 01:00AM

i was called Petrol, Diesel and Armadillo - a bit odd for a girl! it all started cos petrol sounds sort of like my name if youre feeling 5 years old,

strangest one ive come across - G spot (poor girls name was Gemma and had an unfortunate story about searching for the male g spot when she was younger)

Pacing Mule · 06-02-2011 01:01AM

Aishae wrote: »

i was called Petrol, Diesel and Armadillo - a bit odd for a girl! it all started cos petrol sounds sort of like my name if youre feeling 5 years old,

strangest one ive come across - G spot (poor girls name was Gemma and had an unfortunate story about searching for the male g spot when she was younger)

Please elaborate !

brummytom · 06-02-2011 01:03AM

My dad used to know a very short bloke who drove a metro.

They all called him metronome

round tower huntsman · 06-02-2011 01:04AM

all my mates call my wife "the bike" dont ask me why................she thinks my mates are sound. they always go out and have the craic.

Aishae · 06-02-2011 01:05AM

i met her through work several years ago so it was after the fact - never got the full story - she was experimenting with the 'behind the balls spot' thing she read somewhere and it went awry - the lad got hurt and apread around the story and 'beware of the G Spot' but i dont know how he got hurt or what she must have been using to hurt him but the imagination has run up some mad imagery. they were teens at the time.

round tower huntsman · 06-02-2011 01:11AM

at least she was willing to give the auld smelly finger a go............most girls wont touch it with a ****ty stick......pardon the pun!

davyjose · 06-02-2011 01:12AM

round tower huntsman wrote: »

touch it with a ****ty stick

Username+post =

Grasshoppa · 06-02-2011 01:15AM

His name's Gary, and he's baldy.

Garibaldi.

Hyperbullet · 06-02-2011 01:15AM

Place I used to work used to have a regular customer who was a fat ignorant b*stard who groped half the female staff. Gained the nickname Yorkie. Big, thick, and not for girls.

SRFC90 · 06-02-2011 01:15AM

A lad i knew from ages back had one leg slightly shorter than the other, some wierd thingy anyway.

'The clock' seemed the obvious choice.

Absurdum · 06-02-2011 01:15AM

we used to call a lad in school "Fa" because he had big ears and a big head - he resembled the F.A. Cup

Baalbec · 06-02-2011 01:22AM

I knew a lad with a nose on the larger size that people called "Mozam"...

Mozam-beak.

Badgermonkey · 06-02-2011 01:25AM

Hyperbullet wrote: »

Place I used to work used to have a regular customer who was a fat ignorant b*stard who groped half the female staff. Gained the nickname Yorkie. Big, thick, and not for girls.

Dail bar right?

Ricardo G · 06-02-2011 01:27AM

Our teacher was called Mr Bates
hence the reason for callling him "Master Bates"

BickNarry · 06-02-2011 01:31AM

Friend of mine knows a guy who had cancer,his name was Joe. Its now Cancer Joe.

A hooker up the road is ****in huge and is always walking round offering her services to the cars stuck in traffic. Known as Red Diesel.

I've a small head. Of course everyone,including teachers, called me peanut/seargent KP/colonal K.P etc. till I lost a load of weight and made it barely noticable.

One of the lads called me a peado on the way to school for no reason. Known as ''peado'' for a long while.

Ricardo G · 06-02-2011 01:34AM

BickNarry wrote: »

Friend of mine knows a guy who had cancer,his name was Joe. Its now Cancer Joe.

A hooker up the road is ****in huge and is always walking round offering her services to the cars stuck in traffic. Known as Red Diesel.

I've a small head. Of course everyone,including teachers, called me peanut/seargent KP/colonal K.P etc. till I lost a load of weight and made it barely noticable.

One of the lads called me a peado on the way to school for no reason. Known as ''peado'' for a long while.

I think you should be known as "SICK FCUK"

Im Only 71Kg · 06-02-2011 01:36AM

guy in my class was called "two dads" because his mother had very short hair and she wore a silver bomber jacket..made her look masculine from a distance. its still dead funny.:)

AskMyChocolate · 06-02-2011 01:41AM

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

Tom Slick · 06-02-2011 01:44AM

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.

No you didn't, you just made it up (or heard/read about it), wanker!

Mod note: User banned for this comment.

Im Only 71Kg · 06-02-2011 01:46AM

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

knew a fidgety phil too years back.

dubtom · 06-02-2011 01:51AM

I call a fella I know Churchill,because you can't believe a thing he says.

Superbus · 06-02-2011 01:51AM

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Knew this huge guy once whose name was Phil and his nickname was "The Room"

You must be kidding aren't you.

How so Joe · 06-02-2011 01:54AM

Friend of mine nicknamed my then-boyfriend McDreary.
Caught on until all my friends were calling him that.

BickNarry · 06-02-2011 02:16AM

Ricardo G wrote: »

I think you should be known as "SICK FCUK"

Whys that then?

Humorous / Possibly Cruel Nicknames

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